why do i let myself get hurt? i mean i know he loves me...i mean he says he does and that text msg he sent today....i mean he normally doesnt do that...he doesnt like sending texts' out or anything but yea...*sighs* whatever...you know it kinda hurts that he doesnt call me at all...well hardly i should say and yet his family will call me and ask how i am doing and stuff...i mean they ask about me... and everything...it sucks his family treats me as if i am family and my family treats me like shit....*sighs* also i dunno if im sick or what but this room here feels like its spinning around me...im losing focus and yea... i dont know why but i get the feeling eddie is telling cody something...or i dunno..i guess im trying to figure out why cody wont really want to talk to me....i need a smoke... and go for a walk on the beach or just a jog...i dunno maybe ill go for a jog in the morning...considering the fact i finished the last of my ciggerets... i guess what i am just pretty much saying if that I just want to see him and never let go of him and just share a long passonate kiss and just rest in his arms and look up in the night stary sky.... and i know it wont happen cuase i am asking for too much......so whatever i guess...