i knew that it would happen this way- being happy. because i was so happy and i knew it wouldn't last. but he made the bad part of that night so much better. and i had an amazing time, /what are you thinkng about?/ it gives you a chance to make someone so happy. i wanted to say something- and it's wierd, and horrible, and strange that i can say that. but please understand that with the thoughts i had racing through my head i can't think of anything that could possibly make more sense. with a smile plastered to my face i can honestly say this was the best weekend of my life. and all i wish is that i could remember it more, because it all seems like a dream. the indescribable feeling is that i know this has the potential to get even better. the bad part is that im setting myself up. and i understand this/ i might seriously be killing myself. "i don't want to start something that im going to have to leave behind." me neither. but as crazy as it sounds, im addicted to being happy like this. im not used to actually smiling for no reason. or crying just because i'm happy. i used to never be happy. it's like boarding a plane you know is about to crash. i have 4 weeks until my plane takes a nose-dive. and trust me you'll hear about it.