Well since my friends have gotten these I decided to be a sheep. Baah. Here's copy&pasted from my other one from this afternoon. Today has been an alltogether unsavory day thus far and I'm sure that it can only get better from here on out. Last night my boss called me last minuet to tell me that they where going to take a picture of all the tourguides and officers or whatever the fuck you where and that it would be really nice if I could come down in like a half an hour. I am about to eat in 5 min and am like "sure of course" with this fake smile on the phone. So I hurry through dinner, try to doll myself up a bit in my mining outfit and go. Of course I don't need to look like a tourguide so now I'm going to be in the paper looking retaded in construction boots. W/E. I leave before the meeting starts becuase the ass never told me that there was a meeting after. I go for a walk and am starting to feel ok again. I mean it's a long ass walk, loads of excersize and all. It gets endorphins going. I try to walk a little over three miles every night becuase I'm sick of being fat and ugly, so once I lose some weight I can be healthy and ugly. Some old lady tried to tell em that I was pretty when I stoped to talk becuase people just freaking talk to me. Then I had to like play with this little girl. I don't want to. I want to sort shit out in my mind. I want to think about story becuase my life is unsavory so I choose to wrap myself up in fantasy. But no I had to be nice to this kid and now I'm "her best friend". Most people would enjoy this. They'd be like "oh yay a kid adores me." Not me. I don't like little kids. I can't talk to her. Her idea of "talking" with me is playing a really crappy game of I Spy. Now I'm sure this sounds terrible but whatever. As Julie says about everything:I'm PMSing leave me alone. I hate the dogs. I hate them. One is old and about to die and I'm spending my life cleaning up after her messes. Then theres a puppy who can be sweet one sec and then a holy terror the next. I hate it. I hate them and I hate taking care of them becuase if you clean up one mess anther appears two seconds later. We can't have people come over becuase we keep having these damn dogs who fuck up the house. I shouldn't even be in the house. I WAS suposed to be working. But no. I'm never fucking called in. I have very little money and becuase the tour season is shit so far I'm never called in. Now I'm inside the house, going crazy and I'm not making any damn money. I need money for next year. I have to pay for books. I have to pay for all this shit and I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate my life. I hate the way I look. There are nise people who try and make me feel betetr and who distract me from how much I hate myself but when it comes down to it I just wish I were dead. I'm bored and sick of trying to distract myself. I wanna fight with someone. I wanna beat something sensless. I just feel so mad right now. I can't even find my last paycheck. I feel like I'm about to fucking burst. Maybe I'll go for an early walk today....maybe that would help. I just hate it right now.