Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. Carl Gustav Jung Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. Brendan Gill As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent. Socrates Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again. F. P. Jones Books are fatal: they are the curse of the human race. Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense. Benjamin Disraeli Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. Benjamin Franklin Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Albert Einstein How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. Abraham Lincoln (Asked shortly before a tour to Vietnam if he was worth 50 million dollars) If I had $50 million, I wouldn't go to Vietnam; I'd send for it. Bob Hope A letter is an unannounced visit, the postman the agent of rude surprises. One ought to reserve an hour a week for receiving letters and afterwards take a bath. Friedrich Nietzsche A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. G. K. Chesterton Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. George Bernard Shaw My reputation grows with every failure. George Bernard Shaw An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood. Napoleon Bonaparte Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. Oscar Wilde There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten. Samuel Johnson How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. Spike Milligan To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. Voltaire I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W. C. Fields History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. Winston Churchill It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. Somerset Maugham I seldom think of politics more than 18 hours a day. Lyndon Johnson Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Groucho Marx I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. Albert Einstein Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. James M. Barrie All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Arthur Schopenhauer Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Robert Orben Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous. Robert Benchley I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company. Charles Evans Hughes My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong. Geoff Arbuthnot At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual. Partick Moore Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Will Rogers I hope you guys enjoy these quotes, but there will be more, one with every enry! i have like 18 more pages of this stuff! lol! well yup! just giving you guys a taste! luv you all! and have fun!