A whole year in reflect, a whole time in reflect.

To be angry, to be mad about it all. To be mad and disappointment in it all.

Its so easy now of days, to be all those things.

But those things never go away, they seem to always be there.

I look back with that all.

To feel that it is that has it should be or that is what I made it be.

It’s the same.

I fucked up, I did.

And it wasn’t that big of a deal until I couldn’t show her….

That I wasn’t just a fuck up or just a fuck up.

I mean I always showed her that I was working on it.

Should I have though?

It was always for me to find my way through the pain, always to find my way.

But how could I have ever factor her into that, and why would I want to?

The anger and disappointment I have felt about this year have been enough.

So this is it.

I have always thought I had a plan, something that made sense enough to get me through it.

That I will be this kind of guy, I will be on this point to let them know that I am good enough to know and at least respect.

I couldn’t find that. Should that change me? Should I let that anxiety just be me?

Maybe yes, maybe I should I just all my angry, anxieties self just shut the fuck up and just handle the shit I got to do.

This year in reflect has got me thinking…