most nights

by nobodyu
i never sleep well and lately its gotten worse my mind seems to run wild wont settle down people at my counselling tell me to drink tea or read but that dont work i tried sometimes i fall asleep at 9or10 just to wake up at 1 then up till 5-6 i wrote a poem called Insomnia that sorts of captures it for me As i lay, Trying to close my eyes to the day, Thougths arise, And my soul begins to burn inside. Dreaming wide awake, Seaching for a road to take. But sad and confused, Not sure really what to do, While stuck in a world of Illusion, Spend life in Prositution? As slaves of Ads Media Wars PoP Culture Whore Victims byproducts of a Post-Modern Society Making CultWars and SuicideMan a Reality. The way it all seems Is, do I dare to Dream.
Read 71 comments
i use a thinner blanket, and always stick on foot out into the air to help the body cooling process.
**EHHHMEH MEHM EHME HMEH MIMEME** i love you and reality is my screen name dumbass
only if your sheet was airtight, then maybe. it may cause a small amount of brain cell death, but so does shaking your head and breathing or any number of daily activities. when i do it, i try to focus on normalizing my breathing and relaxing. it's kind of like coutning sheep, but less pointless.
gah, before i go. Dont do it shoe! Dont join! the end.
[Anonymous]
I'm gonna go to bed.

duck=pooped.

have a better than bad nite shoe.
[Anonymous]
I have 2 diaries. The first one i started a long time ago. this one's newish.. jewish?
[Anonymous]
what? 2 persons?
[Anonymous]
yeah I had issues with the madre. But Im home again and things are calming down. kinda.

but yeah, I dont know. Ive been offered stuff... but no good can come of drugs. I dont see the point. and I need all my brain cells.. since I'm not that smart to begin with. i dont like drinking because many people in my family are alcoholics. I'm a virgin because I want my first time to be a gift to my husband.
[Anonymous]
yeah, I like independent study better. I'm about average right now, before i was getting behind because i tried to move out but it didnt work out. but while i was gone, I neglected hw. and alot of the time i just couldnt get there. mimis cafe is more like a resturaunt. I've always wanted to go to a poetry speakin or something too. just havent gotten a chance.

and.. no, to all of the above. I havent done any andrugs.dont drink and Im a virgin
[Anonymous]
try google
the high kinda school.. that doesnt require pot. almost done. I am in inpependent study so I go at my own pace and there were some events that caused me to lag a lil. I wanna work somewhere I can make tips. like mimi's cafe or something. and yeah, pot still isnt hot.
[Anonymous]
well shoe... good thing u gave up pot. pot isnt hot. it sure is not... sorry bout the mr thing. i have a habit of calling almost everyone that.
[Anonymous]
if you pull your blanket over your head while you lay in bed, trying to sleep, you'll eventually be breathing your own carbon dioxide expulsions instead of fresh oxygen and you'll partially asphyxiate yourself, causing you to pass out. not enough asphyxiation to die, or anything, but it can help you get to sleep. give it a whirl. if not, rigorous and heartfelt masturbation works wonders for me.
school
looking for a job
and he says "The monkeys make sorrowful noise overhead" in a river merchants wife.

what do jonathans do?
[Anonymous]
well i did a project on buddhism at school recently...
why dya ask?
i dont know. Ducks love to sleep. but at nite, I feel liek there are better things to do. And I just dont get tired till then. Do you think you really have insomnia mr?
[Anonymous]
I read his poems... i liked an immortality and the river merchants wife. pretty shibby.

hehe. he said monkeys.
[Anonymous]
What, You want to start a cyber fight? The police were looking for Big J. And they thought I was walking with him, But it was Joe who ran. I continued walking and when they asked me who I was walking with I wouldnt tell them because Joe had warrents. So they arrested me for with holding information. Is that better? It seemed usless to type it all out considering I write this shit for my friends and they remember when this happened.
[rot]
tried that today
she just went 'omg i don't do that!'
!!!!!!!! she's so...... blahhhh.
anyway thanks for the advice :)
i dont think it will make them worse, maybe more dependant on glasses. i only need classes to see the black board at school but i always kept them on, i only took them on when i read. no i look ugly with glasses. i look much cuter without. i hate people too. but you probably do look smart with glasses, most people do
hello are u a boy or girl?
[Anonymous]
well its mostly about how i feel when i am rejected by people and how when i am facing others, they remind me of past relationships and im scared to be hurt again, and this causes me to not want to get to know a lot of people
The other one is about how everything is my fault and how i fuck up everything all the time because i am useless, does that help you understand at all?
[Anonymous]
thanks :)
with jenne that's hard to believe but you never know.... maybe :) i hope so.
wowness.. who wrote that? it was pretty.

duckies are sleepy. nite nite.
[Anonymous]
thats awesome
It's just a shame to sleep half of your life... i guess
or may be just the head can't get used from thoughts
at times it happens
nope, not my poem
it's a song.... i forget who it's by but my carpool plays that cd a lot
HEy! I'd rather be bohemian tooooooo mr.

And yeah, lateness. But ducks dont go to bed till 2:30ish. how bout you?
[Anonymous]
well. I'm currently buiding up my portfolio.

My films school choices are:
USC
CHAPMAN
UCLA
New York Film Academy
Emerson
[Anonymous]
i dont remember.
well thats good for you, but i look ugly in glasses.
i have insomnia ,too, i dont really mind, the only thing is i get really bored
yes and no. i believe in him, but i don't really think that he is the only way to i guess do what's right.
You never commented back, darling.
Hehe, you want the leather and the lace kind of girl. Everybody just about wants the good girl with the evil tendancies so they can have both ends of the spectrum. Good times though.
Poog.
im crazy but i think im normal which makes me mad eeeeeee

thankyou

=)
i'm an insomniac and have sleep apnea. numerous sleep studies without concusive results leads you to research your own ways of falling asleep.

in the mean-time, click here! fo'shizzy, read yo' entries.
Nothing more. it is a good poem. and i dont like to critique.
yeh. true life is an air baloon. but wht happens if it crashes?
[Anonymous]
its ok.
yea alotta people dont like my john
i dunno why tho.
hes BeAuTifUL.

lets see umm well i like it cuz it kinda relates to me
cuz i never sleep
i only like beginning tho
not so much
and yea i do write
everynow and then
one of my poems is in 1 of my entries a couple entries back

well laterr.
xo*
[Anonymous]
typically, yes odes do rhyme.
but i'm not typical
and it wasn't really a description of what i was writing, seeing as what i was writing was a sort of short story.
thank you for your comment! :)
conditions stand for what ppl want her to be, repetition stands for her not wanting to be the same as everyone else and recognition just means no ones going to see her for who she truly is. its about a girl i know who is a completley different person than anyone thinks she is, yet all her freinds are pushing her to be like them.
I read as much as i can. like even if its my friends poems or like on a diary. i have stacks of poems somewhere from a while ago when that was all i used to do. read and write. i kinda live a little more now. i dont focus so much on writing down every little thought that comes into my head. i taught myself to play guitar... and i find it so much more rewarding when i put my poems to music. things change shit happens.so i do what i can.
good stuff is love and happiness and a little bit of money. i think my mum would like it if she owned her own house and i think my dad would like to stop paying off his crappy car.

ofcourse i've thought about it, who hasnt?

and it seems like your trying to simplify my life by asking me to think about it. so dont do it anymore.

goodluck with stuff.
pfft, ofcourse its about my mum and dad. they would be on my "path".
*sigh*
im not even gonna bother with this anymore.
o love reading. i like to read anything that appeals to me. wether it be books, (diaries), newspaper articles... so on and so forth. Do you like to read?
what do i want out of life? happiness, good friends, and acceptance for who i am.
why do you ask?

that was a kick a** poem you wrote. i think you are a good poet.
i dont really know what i want out of life...stuff? good stuff actually. yeah. i want good stuff out of life. woo good.

u?
I really liked ur poem. its simple. but it gets the message accross.
why do u want to know what i want out of life?
so. even tho u never answered back.
ima still say goodnite
[Anonymous]
wow. i really like ur poem
[Anonymous]
loved your poem. it spoke to me.

quack quack quack.. moo?
[Anonymous]
yep thats a good charlotte song... their first single. jenne's a bitch... she's my teacher. we're weird at my school with what we call the teachers. yup. i hate school dances... yuck :-P
maybe i'll post my story sometime :)
me= allen ginsberg, Elizabeth browning, edmund waller, e.e. cummings... off the top of my head. too many to list.

william blake is the heat. nice choice from songs of ecperience.
[Anonymous]
i have read all the bolded titles.
read some of the italicized.
and want to read the underlined
hmm... cant say i have.. there a particular piece youd recommend?
[Anonymous]
yeah. well. him and someone else. its about both of um. my poem is just ur typical 'cry me a river' break up poem. heh. about how hard it is to let someone go even tho your just torturing youself, and you know what you have to do, but its hard to let go even if it'd make things so much easier.

oh yeah, and, what do you like better sir jonathan? old or new?
[Anonymous]
well, older poems follow more strucural whereas new stuff is all over the place, with no real set form. older love poems are best because theres a freshness about them... kinda more romantic for some reason.
[Anonymous]
Hahaha... oops! i meant brett... not break. Yeah, sometimes when I type fast.. other words come out and it makes no sense... but yeah, he's my ex bf.
[Anonymous]
thank you very much sir :) that means alot coming from one who delights in good poetry. And yeah, that poem by mr cummings i awesomeness like .. something else that is really awesome... but um.. yeah, older stuff is classic.

ducks dont bite jonathans...
[Anonymous]
no, im not mormon.
[Anonymous]
hahaha. I plan on attending film school.

:]
[Anonymous]
catch 22 was hilarious.
i haven't read johnny got his gun, but i'll check it out if you recommend it?
ray bradbury is one of my favorites. i hope you get to meet him and all!!!

hitler's atrocities have always fascinated me. i want to know how he could possibly justify his actions. and i think reading his book could give me insite.

candide was an amazing book. i highly recommend it. voltaire was a master at satire.

take care :)
listen to music. i bring my iPod into bed with me and put it on low with some jaz or something so i wont sing along or anything

it works i swear
hey mr! was the anonymous comment you, in my last entry?


*tag! your it!*
[Anonymous]
yes but that wont get me into parliament and someone needs to get rid of johnny howard.
i just realized you commented on my other one too... well they are 2 different topics, so i could explain them if you really wanted... just comment again sometime saying you want it explained and i guess i will, even though i dont really know who you are...
[Anonymous]
yea, you commented on my entry... its a bunch of stuff that went on and i think anyone who reads it would be confused... i could explain it, its just complicated and thats probly why its conffusing.... hell, this is probly confusing in itself... sorry
[Anonymous]
that was me
---audioblood
[Anonymous]
well we're quite good over here. we have some of the best coaches here! so oh snap!! and last year people from where i play one almost everything!
[Anonymous]
hey home slice... youre right, howl is awesome. awesome like a fox.


and yeah. that be meee in el pic-o's. I messed with em a lil in photoshop elements... cuuuz. cuz... Im a loser. yay!

LOOK! a pumpkin... *flees the scene*
[Anonymous]