Lately I've been having mixed emotions. At the party last night, i had an okay time. I fealt sort of out of place. I dont understand Stephen, how come he is so outgoing with everyone and then when I walk to the area where he is, he leaves. I was talking to Mike and Kayla and he was walking my way, but once he saw me he turned right back around. I really dont understand. I feel like telling him i dont like him anymore, cause its dumb if we can't even talk in person. I really do try and Kayla and Mike tell me to talk to him but its not that easy. So, i dont like him, and im really not that hurt. Its so obvious that Kayla doesn't like me. At the party she just left on the canoe ride with Ali Stephen and Mike. As i stood there and watched them leave. She was the only reason why i went, i now regret going. She always complains how girls can be such bitches, but shes bitchy towards me. She can like never hang out, and its going to be so different once shes all in the highschool crowd. I can't wait..it will be even worse. Next year is going to be much different. I have screwed up a lot this year which all has a good affect cause now i might be a better person next year. Im anxious, but also upset. Eventhough i may not always agree with Kayla, I will admit I'll miss her. And ill miss all those guys that i will never see again. Its so stupid how they take two seperate schools put them together let them get to know eachother for 3 years seperate them, then put them with a new group of ppl in a new school for 4 years, and then they all leave for their new life. I dont want to leave all my friends.:( Tonight i believe i am leaving for my aunts in Virginia. I am going horseback riding, its really fun. She has a BEAUTIFUL house. Oh its so lovely and perfect. She designed it herself too. They have a pet flying squirrel and it only comes out at night. If your lucky you can touch it. Its hurt or something, i hope they still have it. I love horseback riding there, just not the horses. The very first time i went there i was all confident untill she told me when she had to take this girl to the hospital cause she was bucked off the horse and broke her arm. My arm was numb all day just from the thought.... The smartest thing would be to get packing, but i think i will go Kayaking instead..i heard the water was rough. Ohhhh i hate my grade i want to move up one!!!!! Love _-*Sara*-_ oh and thanks miss or mister [anonymous (69.29.82.209)] but this diary site is to help people. Not that i take that offensivly, but if its bad enough that you wont even leave your name, then why say anything?