today was weird. late start i ignored it. oh well went to school. got there early, spotted arjay and then went around a different way to "find" them we went outside. shaun took his shirt off and made a snowangel. then he took his pants off and ran around the tree 3 times. tomorrow he'll do it again if someone brings a camera. she left. i wandered. drugs are funny to talk about. world studies was boring. i have no direction in my life. we kept looking at eachother.. but hardly a word was said. i wrote all of lunch. purple pen and my journal. kaleb was kind of an ass. it bothered me. chemistry was lame. arjay got moved, as dis michelle. bray was all downtrodden hahahahah. i back away from you bitch. i get the work. it's annoying, but i get it.i drew little messages on my white board. but nobody could read them. fantasies. thoughts. worthless as they may seem to be. english was allright. she still seemed wary... awkward. something.... i'm not sure really. we still kept looking at eachother..... it snowed all fucking day and it is beginnign to annoy me. we have like 4 or 5 inches on the ground here. gah. arjay was getting a ride with jackie. i walked out... she was behind me. i still couldn't help but smile. i am so fucking ripped up inside it'sunreal. found dad and we headed to the place. stopped and got food because my tummy was upset and then went. she's a strange lady... i can't remember her last name..... but i know her first is carol. daddy talked for a while. explaining the story of him leaving, what he knows... all that jazz. then she kicked him out and made me talk. about life up to dad leaving and then life upto moving. it was hard. i did wahat mommy toldme to. i showed her the cuts and the bruise. she said it was a good idea for me to get back on meds and to see her again. must go to el doctor asap. she gav eme homework. homework from a shrink. sigh. what will happen next? she told daddy that it's important for her to see me again. i've been wearing my wrist cuff all day. lets compare scars i'll tell you whose is worse. la. i wanted to kiss her today. she seemed kind of angry. when we were sitting on the couch kind of beginning, arjay called me. she told me she got a ride home with some amazing guy. sigh. how great that feels to my shattered tangled heart. sigh. i suppose if i want to do something i just have to do it. tomorrow maybe? tomorrow.... maybe she gets a note. i don't know we're going to go out to eat. la la. mommy come home i hope you are allright. it bothers me when she is not home on time when the weather is bad liek this... i want things. her. food chocolate. sleep i don't know. my wrist tickles when i move it. ha ha ha sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh