I've fallen away some might say Fallen to hell they say as well I've fallen from far above steped away from all knowing love Im godless now, no help from Him Godless now, Succumbed to sin No more "blessings" apon my head No more reward when i am dead Now I must struggle alone Toil and work my hands to the bone... How is this diffrent from how it was before what has changed, when did i have more When were "blessings" rained from the sky were are the glorious angels on high Im Godless now, I guess you could say Even though i don't see from what i fell away It's not to say my faith is lost I may not know the final cost I still believe in things i cannot see and somehow i know feel free free from an eteranl fate free from an eternal wait I might be Godless as they have said Just know that i have faith in things I have said

life's journey seems to have come to a halt All of it's secrets lock within a vault The combination hidden and forgotten remembered then forgot again The key inside leads to a chest a chest that holds the all of life's best best intentions is all i have found as my searches have lead me around. the key is for a lock deep within and it for centuries was lost again when will we remember the combonation and find the key when will mankind finally look to see When will we hear to hear and when will we finally rid ourselves of fear so many things locked away for to long so many things lost, so many times wrong what is this life intended for? What do we get upon that final score? Is the key the goal, does that seal our fate will we ever find it or is it to late?

I'm sick of living in fear sick of feeling like I'm looking into a mirror I'm sick of being threatened on every turn sick of those people that never learn all I want is a moment of peace a moment when my fears I can release all I need is for my life, money, and job being on the block. sick of having to hide behind the rock I want to tear the flesh off of this pittiful man keep tearing away the frightened till I no longer can in the pool of blood maybe I can find my self take that courage off the shelf I want to fight but cannot find will cannot make my way up the slanted hill in fear I make my way through every day either i will change or I will waste away

I fought back the dogs of ravenous thieves And shuffled my feet in dried up leaves Alerting all that were left to fight That I was still alive in this frightful night I walked though valleys and climbed to mountains peaks All looking for what he seeks I took the bullets and fought back pain I stomped though snow and weathered the rain At the guards gate I pleaded my case You cannot pass said the man with the stone face I could not, would not be stopped, no not on this day And as I past the guards at my feet did lay I crossed the rickety bridge over the rapid stream And past the hills that spouted steam Finally I came to the doors of hell I pushed open the door determined not to fail The heat rushed out and burned my face And the flavor of sin consumed my taste I wandered for what seemed for years Passing the men with no innocent tears I followed a path blazed by fire Not knowing what evil would conspire My plan was simple, not to fail The one thing that wouldnt fall was the hammer on my coffins last nail Even though I had been broken I would not stop without the victors token I raised my sword and struck down my path And did not flinch at my enemies wrath Did not show my remorse or my fear Did not allow my true intentions to become clear The blazed path was bumpy and rocky in places The fire had scorched people along the path and burned their faces The faceless masses gathered to cheer me along Only to be struck down by demons for doing the wrong My face was burned and my hand had were bloodied I knew my path my journey well studied I knew not what the journey would bring And what horrible thing around the next corner would spring Still I cut down the enemy and forged my way And watched the night give way to the day When my journey seemed to come to an end I was told I failed and not to try again Thinking on this seemed disaster Wondering what I should do to quell the laughter Laughter of the demons inside Laughter of the ones that stole my pride I fought back the dogs of ravenous thieves And shuffled my feet in dried up leaves Alerting all that were left to fight That I was still alive in this frightful night...

everyone stands for a cause that's not ready to mow them over. everyone takes pride in them selves for standing in place everyone is brave when not facing the bulldozer everyone wins when you don't race when troubles come along everone scaters when obsticles rise nobodys stays The remainder are left to be tatered Only afew left for a flag to raise it's easy to say your there for a cause it's easy to stand when nobody's gone But when people start to get lost nobodys left at a bloody dawn.

Black and White nothing is right nothing is wrong everything is gone nothing is here living in fear showing no pain living in vain no one to see no one to be no senses to feel nothing is real no one has lived nothing has lived.

Teaching of other are to often ignored To quickly we are pick up our sword Injustice and war in a world of vain emotionless love and friends ship feighn rushed our thoughts and moved to swiftly moving to fast to truely see wandering in our own self pride leaving the others with a selfish stride never looking back to lend a hand only concerned with the wants of our land toting patriotism above all else but a patriot doesn't only think of himself a patriot sees the good for all a patriot knows when to take a fall a true patriot would not fight if the cause was not just a patriot would not follow their own lust a patriot shouts his love for is country a patriot dies each day for me to soldiers fighting in far off lands you are patriots in God's eyes and Hands Protecting freedom, though you may doubt the reason fighting for you loved ones and pushing back treason when will the world see the error of their ways how many more patriots must we lose in these days.

Altered Perception Eternal Rejection looking into a distorted mirror Being the only true seer seeing destructions seeing the end seeing what reality is like beyond the bend a curse and a gift is this sight being damned to have this light to forsee is an eternal pain struggling to stand to stay sane how would it be to know what is next to always now the complex how would you feel if only you knew And there was nothing in the world you could do would you hold it in and explode in pain would you yell it out in vain now you see my everyday strife living in pain for all of my life what will happen when i am no more what will the world get when there is no lore i continue every day, i see into the future past and Eternity

looking forwad to the changes that overwhelm looking at the mast and seeing no captain at the helm how will i lead a life im not prepared to live what will i do when i have no more to give what wil life hold when i'm old and dried up when i am thristy now who will fill my cup what will i do with a life tender and new will i mold it into someone worth being will i look at it without really seeing where will i go when i have finished my task wondering about her and if i should ask thinking about an unexpected child being a father while i am still so young a wild what will i become, will i be any good wondering if i should wondering why i can't leave now wondering how to get around around the world and find myself more prepared the burden on my sholders is squared. living with a the consequences of my actions living with the torment from diferent factions looking forward to the future and what i will become looking to prove some wrong and live up to some

I thought it might be time for a nother letter, i have come across many new changes in my life lately and i try to reflect those in my writings. I am slowly comming to the conclustion that although change is constant and maybe sometimes not what we expect, change on the outside changes us even more on the inside. I try as best as i can to effect that change myself through my writing, i also try to effect change in others through that same writing. I write bottom line because i love to write. Wheather or not that means...rather my writings mean anything to anyone means nothing to me. i would love to effect that change as much as i possibly can. i want to let everyone who enters a comment, good or bad is appreciated it helps me to grow as both a poet and a person. so i thank you all for you comments. For those of you who have never wandered into my page, please look around, it is a page of all of my collected works, well not all, but all since last november. Please if you like something,or if something effects you or maybe will someone you know let me know and forward the entry on to whomever. thank you ever thankfull ever vigilant DS (steele alloy)

Burned by love, lies a blackened rose left alone to face my foes wondering what i will not do again wondering what was my final sin blazing heat turned to flame i will never be the same burning every emotion in its path a chard heart is the aftermath burnt to the groud with smoldering ashes started by my own matches escaping the fire i ran away and now can't go back to stay a rose was grown out of love nurised from the sun up above the rose is now in my hand and time has droped the last grain of sand the bulbs of roses is what we'd sewn standing amidst a croud im still alone after the fire finaly goes all that's left is the blackened rose

found was a love i thought was pure i had not a doubt i was sure it went so well for a couple of weeks i felt the emotion i felt the heat but some where it fell apart and now i'm left holding the peices of my heart burned by love, lies a blackened rose left alone to face my foes standing amidst a croud im still allone after the fire is all gone all that's left is the blackened rose Im now left wondering if i fooled by emotion tossed and turned in a volient ocean seeking to make right a broken love offering an olive branch offering a dove not given the second chance i desire as the fire grows i begin to perspire burned by love, lies a blackened rose left alone to face my foes standing amidst a croud im still allone after the fire is all gone all that's left is the blackened rose it all over now as im looking back filling in the gaps that i lack always to remember a love lost to flame always to remember a rose lost the same burned by love, lies a blackened rose left alone to face my foes standing amidst a croud im still allone after the fire is all gone all that's left is the blackened rose

It Happened again i lost reality holding on to my apparent sanity thinking in side the box like always passing the weeks and days wondering what lies a head for the insane watching the drops of rain yes it's raining again in my world started from a lightning bolt Zeus hurled it always rains at this time of life it always rains at the relapse of strife what ever happened to being carefree what ever happened to change me as i look back i begin to realize it all prespective in anothers eyes while im sure ive gone and lost my mind eventually my spirit i believe i'll find belief is a funny thing sometimes it happens and sometimes it stings sinking into darkness once more lieing on my back on the cold cement floor

A young man stood in a doorway, a doorway leading to the rest of his life. He was not sure if he wanted to go through it yet, he was content living in between the past and the future. But the future has a way of catching up to people. His shadow is cast into the past, and nothing of him on the future side of the door. He has left his mark on the past, but is that enough. He continues to stand in the door way not moving. He is not in the doorway he had planned for in his youth, somewere he got off that path. A young woman stands on the future side of the doorway, beckoning for him to come, the future is blurred though and the young man is scared. he looks back and sees an endless path of his own footprints, only one set, his. In front of him he sees only one set of footprints, hers. He hears her calling, but the comfort of the known keeps his feet on the floor. He makes his decision, thinking of all the time he has spent in this doorway tring to decide. to much time in that doorway. The young man closes his eyes and takes a step into the future. and even though he does not know if is footing is steady or what lies ahead of him he braves the chances and moves along.

I stumble through the defening darkness watching my step, not wanting to fall in loneliness waiting for the beast to pounce and strike remember what innocence was like innocence was pure white like snow it was so white it seemed to glow but then it faded to an offwhite as i began to fade from the light at the point that it turned grey i should have had a second thought on that day spashed with black it soon became untill all of my soul was the same dark as night and twice as cold worth nothing to he that seeks souls sold so now i walk in darkness i walk in fear crying a meaningless tear the tear falls to be unheard the whole notion of innocence seems so upsurd but the beast, the beast is not seeking innocence lost gorging in hatered and fear the jagged teeth rip and tear he stalks me now running as fast as i can but ultamatly he is faster than any man leaping from darkness i see its face i am frozen and cannot move from this place i am still alive as it begins to feast i shall not be remembered in the least becoming flesh and blood on sharpened fangs because the innocence lost is what he claims

I live in a sence of perception perception such a wonderfully descriptive word perception is how you see, hear, feel, taste, incorparate the world around you my perception is grim without much hope for survival without much life or living other preceive the world as happy and carefree i don't know any one like that my perception is fighting to live fighting to see, hear and feel you live in the world you precieve i guess you wander in the life you see but at what point do we all mix at what axis does the world really exist whos perception is correct is perception correct do any of us see what is really there are trees really swaying in the breeze or is our mind filling in the gaps of our senses is anything really there some precieve God some do not the preception of God help some survive the perception of being alone helps others my perception is not either of these my perception is my own None of you will understand my ramblings because i live in my perception

Going back to the begining my mind starts thinking about the feelings and broken hearts a child born in loving arms that streched out for other charms the bottle controlled loving heart but that is not the important part taken from that loving one ripped away was her son. from family tring to do the right who lacked vision who lacked the sight for the just did not see what this small child could one day be taken from the home that had cared for him and asked to start life over again then settling in to misunderstanding the love that was there not withstanding loving and hating all at once made to feel like the family dunce loved no doubt, but misjudged by people with a standing grudge and no that child has grown to a man wondering the path wondering if he can and no he has sight now he can see and still does not know what he could be

i feel so dazed so distant and hazed softened by an outer substance not thinking or making sence what happened to the days of the young man's innocents where where those days spent why did i choose to give them away if i could meet my younger self what would i say would i say im sorry i threw in in the trash would i say im sorry i was so brash if given the chance what would i say to me what would i tell myself to be would i change anything if i could go back would i be rectified in things that i lack i would change things if given the chance i would get up when i was asked to dance so many times i turned away in fear and because of that i lost so many things dear and the fear came from within me how many time i wish i could be... i wish i could see... i wish i could go back and tell myself why i wish i could go back and tell myself to cry to show emotion and never hold back these are the things i would tell myself i lack but if what if i really could i would be faced with the question if i should

Living in an altered reality look in front and at the same time behind the future is now and it is tommorow and yesterday doesn't matter today is not what i wanted it to be where i wanted to be i altered my stance and gazed mindlessly and no i don't know where i am spinning in an abyss of realization realization that i have no direction my compass is gone and im left to mine own the darkness is gathering sight is no longer within my ability but can anyone really see where they are going i had my reality maped out, but i've lost the map lost the disire to follow that map what did i know when i created that did i even know who i was, do i now know who i am no, and i never will exept in that altered reality

I know i don't speak much with words with in the site, but i write to be heard to make a difference. I have noticed that the world at large is begining to get caught up in what they call life. It is important to express ones thoughts in times like this. When you think about the great thinkers of the world the ones who said the most, the ones who where right about what the said hundreds of years ago or maybe a couple of months ago. They all spoke out when maybe there oppinon was sometimes volently and savagely torn to shreds and sometimes so was the Thinker, but it did not stop them. They continued with brused minds as they slipped farther and farther from the world's way of thinking. I want to make that same impact, maybe with out the pain and heartache. But that is who change is begun through pain and heartache. Most of you are still in High school or JR HIGH shcool, but know it is never to late to effect change. It is also never to eartly. My poetry reflects my mood for the day or week. I try to effect my change and it is slow going, but i will never give up and neither should each of you, please effect the world in a positive way, any way you can. ever vigilant ever hopefull DS (steelalloy)