nothing like i want to be nothing like i am i can't keep doing this keep pushing him away because i don't think it's bad and i dont tease because i'm mean i think its for the better because i miss him when he's not around but i think no i know that i'm afraid and i know that i should trust him and i guess i do i just have trouble with that because i cant not remember i have to completely forgive but i won't bother trying to forget because i know i can't and won't but i do think this is really good i think i'm really happy i know i am actually i know i'm really happy shit this sounds like a crappy song or poem but whatever i do what i want and it's not