its sad, I always feel mopy and longing. I always seem to need an oversised teddy bear. I always seem to want someone to dote over. yet never seem to have one. I met a girl I hadn't seen in two years on tuesday. I used to think she was hott. It was strange, because I had labled her as hott, she kept that reputation whether she was or not. now I look back and wish I had somehow been more impressive. she sounded interested but I havent heard from her since. cest la vie. or however its spelled. I feel so left out. ALWAYS, it sux. I wish so badly I could simply have what I want. but thinking about it I may only want what I want because I have never had it. I hate living. but who knows I might be pesimistic enough to hate dieing too. have I changed so much that even my freinds seem different, or is it them that have changed. scott why are you hanging out with mike. in what way does he enrich your life.anyway enough rambling