yeah the title pretty much tells it all... im alone on new years eve with nothing to do... really there is nothing to do and no one is around... theres only one person here.. shes the one who runs the house... theres nothing on tv and no one online.. and another thing they wouldnt let me go shopping for food this week so there is nothing to eat... i wouldnt care if i wasent pregnant but i am... its like im starving my baby... but yeah anyways... im so bored i wish i could have hung out with sean or at least talked to him today for new years but no he went to a party to get high and do who knows what else... if that was me doing that he would flip out and never talk to me again... whats up with that? err im pretty pissed, sad, and lonely right now... i cant even hang out with any of my friends cus sean wont let me... i mean i would but i dont want to lose the only thing ive got right now... and thats sean... thats all ive got to say...

yeah im so happy... me and sean were talking and he said that he wants to get back together... so i guess we're gonna get back together... im so happy.... i really want to talk to him right now but i cant cus its after 10 and my cell phone got disconnected... but im gonna get it back in service tomarrow... err i got a cold... i hope it goes away... but yeah thats all ive got to say for today...

this christmas was ok... i was hoping that i would get back with sean for christmas but no... so that really sucks... i thought everything was going good... i mean we had sex we cuddled together... he told me he loved me a lot... i thought for sure he was gonna ask me out... but he didnt... i hope he does soon... well im filling out my birth plan and sean told me to put him down as his partner and as the father... thats so sweet... i did do it... im kinda scared cus it looks like i dropped a bit... i thought that only happens at the end of the pregnancy... umm that about all ive got to say...

im 7 months pregnant now... i cant believe it... time is going so fast... pretty soon im gonna have a little baby girl in my arms... im really excited... ive gotten a lot of things for her... lots of clothes... i mean lots... more than i have... well im working out things with sean and i think we're gonna get back together next weekend... hopefully... but i dont know if im gonna be all that happy cus hes changed... hes doing drugs now and hes been drinking... hes also planning on dropping out... and hes back to smoking... i really dont want to be around that cus im pregnant but i love sean a lot... i need him in my life... i feel complete when hes a part of my life... but i dont know... maybe when we get back together he will change his mind about how he feels... hopefully... if anyone wants to read a really great book its called too soon for jeff by marilyn reynolds... i cant stop reading it except for now... but thats because i need to take a break... another good book to read is what about me by marilyn reynolds... there both about relationships in a way... well too soon for jeff is about this teen boy who becomes a father too soon... and the other... what about me is about this good girl who becomes too destracted when she gets involved with this other boy and starts worrying about him... there 2 really good books... umm i got a job today... im working at wendy's but im not sure about it cus i have to take my noes peircing out... thats gonna suck and its gonna hurt a lot... plus im pregnant... well yeah thats about it...

so this morning i wake up at like 10:30 cus sean said he was gonna call me at around 11 something... i come downstairs and the whole entire living room is full of christmas presents... it was too much... i couldnt believe it... i probably have like 30 gifts... but some of it was for my baby probably... there was a lot of presents... i sat down and 2 people come in and start bringing in more presents... they filled 2 rooms of presents... there is so much i dont know how im gonna have the energy to open all them presents and then im gonna have to go over by my g-mas house and open all the presents my family got for me... im not gonna have any room for anything in my room... i have a really tiny room... i couldnt believe it tho all them presents... i wish i knew who got me them all cus i wanna give them a big hug... that was really sweet to whomever got us that stuff... i cant wait until next christmas... then i wont be alone opening up the presents... ill have my baby to help me with it... im pretty happy today...

im so sad right now cus ive lost everything... the only thing ive gained is a baby... which i am very thankful for... but i am pretty sad right now cus i have no one to talk to... i really have no friends cus i dropped all of them cus my ex boyfriend the last boy i was with didnt want me to hang out with them anymore... so yeah no ive lost everything... the only thing im happy about right now is that im about to have a baby... i only have 3 months left but im scared that im gonna push myself into having the baby early cus ive been really stressed out lately.. i dont know what to do... i need some help...

my boyfriend just broke up with me a while ago and i think this journal thing will help me get over him hopefully cus i have no one to talk to... im pregnant and i really want him to be there in the delivery room with me but i dont think hes gonna show up... but hopefully... we're still friends but it dont really feel like it cus before when we started dating we were bestfriends and he was always there for me and now its like i need him but he isent there for me... i feel really lonely now cus he was and is my only bestfriend and i have no one to talk to but him and he isent there... thats about it...