It's dry and crusted over, but that's all right because it doesn't hurt. I wear contacts, and I forget to take them off at night, so I'm sure that's fucking up my eyesight even more. I can't find my sanity, I lost it somewhere in 10th grade. She handed me the composition book and until then I wasn't quite sure what it was. I smiled at the blank pages and the writing she scracthed out on the front. It's for you Amanda. Well thank you. Since then there has been 4 complete, and with each one it's worse and worse and worse. Dense with pictures and rotten memories that make you teary-eyed every time you start to read it. I can skim through the pages now because I always know what's next. And he's never talked to me about it. He's never asked me what exactly I was thinking. He never asked me to explain. He probably thought I didn't want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. -Amanda