2:33 Thursday afternoon   My Pretend Ideal Ending Whatever. Everyone reckons their love is special. That their love will last. "Oh no, this time it's different." It's always different. It's always fucking different. But what if it's real, what if this is true? I can only picture it in my head. I've gotten myself involved somehow in another couple of relationships as time goes by, just for fun, just because. Because I can't go even a month or two without a boy friend. I get attached, sort of, but things happen, we break up, every time. One day, I get an e-mail from him, saying he's scraped up some cash and has enough for a ticket to LAX and from LAX to SLCIA. I'm just barely 18, I've just graduated high school, and I've been accepted to USU with plans to major in Industrial Hygeine. I got a job and moved out and bought a scummy two-bedroom apartment in the "city" which is about a 15 minute drive from mum and dad's, and I still do my laundry at home and have weekend meals there. I e-mail him back saying I have an extra bedroom and I'd be glad to put him up for a few nights but be warned of the culture shock--as there isn't any here. Two weeks later, I'm hanging out at SLCIA with a bouquet of daisies in my hand, boredly glancing at my watch every, oh say...three seconds, and the flight board every second after that, his flight says it's on time but I got here 45 minutes too early. I look disapprovingly at the excited crowd of people in the same vicinity, all chattering excitedly and excitedly holding up a "Welcome Home Elder So-and-So!" banner, excitedly holding their breaths, excitedly drinking sprite (or rootbeer). I don't know what to think. I don't know if I should be excited or if I should be scared or if I should even care. Finally the flight board says his plane is landed, but I know I have to wait for ages for him get off and down to me. And then it's another wait for him to get his checked luggage. I'm beginning to wish I'd dragged along a girlfriend. Then... After what seems like EONS, the excitedly everything WELCOME HOME ELDER SO AND SO! mob is still there, excitedly picking at their nails (haha! their Elder So and So's flight was delayed due to bad weather in Hiati or Columbia or Chicago, who knows. I'm so horrible for delighting in this), but I finally see a familiar nose, and a familiar pair of glasses, and a familiar grey-blue polo, and familiar white shorts. I know he won't recognise me just by glancing as I've chopped my hair off into a cropped 'do (and also I've dyed my hair brown) so I get up off the floor (for a 45 minute wait, I'm gonna sit on the floor) and run (yes, I actually run) to greet him. I hug you as tight as I can and he finds my mouth with his and I realise I've dropped my bouquet of daisies when one of the excited yahoo's from Orem or something taps me on my shoulder and hands it to me. I take the bouquet and thank the excited do-gooder with a genuine smile and hug my boy even tighter. I wore the heels just for him. God knows how I ran in them. They make me about four and a half inches taller than him but I don't care. My stomach is doing flipflops as I feel waaay more self-conscious than I thought I would, fingering my newly-brunette locks and saying, "haha, don't worry, it's only temporary." He kisses me again, takes my hand, and say, "I need to get my luggage" in his beautiful accent and I say, "of course!" in my stupid american one and lead him to the baggage pick up. We hang out in SLC a wee while, it's dark and it's night and he's completely awake (he took a nap on the plane and it's only 6 p.m. Kiwi time) but the city is beautiful so we have dinner and I drive us to my teeny scummed up apartment and it's after midnight. Almost one a.m. I'm knackered but at least i've cleaned up. I even changed the sheets, borrowing a set from Mum and Dad. I don't have another bed but I say he can sleep in mine, I'll take the couch. He says nonsense, he'll take the couch, and I say "you silly boy, trying to be the gentleman." I get the only nightie i own and change in the bathroom and ask if he wants to shower, he says he'll wait til morning. I kiss him. and then he kisses me back. And I say "lets sleep in my bed," and shockingly he agrees. And nothing NAUGHTY happens (you preverts), but it sure is nice to wake up to his face in the morning. In the year and a few months that we've been apart, we kept e-mailing flirtatiously and seriously, keeping in touch, and if he's changed at all except maybe he's a teeny bit taller and a teeny more grown-up looking, I can't tell. At the end of his visit, the night before he's told me he's got to go, I confess to him that I will hardly be able to stand him leaving, It was hard enough to leave him the first time, I donno what I'll do! Then he whips out a bouquet of roses from no where (hey, it's my fantasy), and a ring, gets down on one knee and says he wouldn't be able to stand it either. And he will stay here and marry me, but he has to finish uni at home. And so he'll come visit me in a few months ..... Oh i have no idea. Maybe we'll just like, iunno. get over it. I kind of hope not though.