this is probably all a mistake.

i'm finally starting to not feel bad for myself and realizing that all i'm doing is just wasting time, which is quite possibly the most precious thing i have.

they make a card for everything and every word so sincere full of hallmark sympathy so sorry, you're grieving but here, take this simple haiku it'll explain how i feel so you don't have to wonder why i didn't call or why we didn't talk so sorry, we never had a chance to catch up before life caught up with you

whiskey makes headaches and everything go away. symptoms of self-loathing. what a fine feeling to have. i had a taste of happiness once it was hard to chew so i spit it out. lol

haven't seen the sun in days on this the dullest of vacations riding busses in the rain painting a picture with words but the words decay

been while since i've fallen in or out of love.

over time, everything that you've ever wanted to be will come crashing down in front of you. it is at this time that you must reconsider everything that you've ever done and why, and how you will play the rest of your cards. for me, one of the greater joys in my life was playing guitar and making music with my friends, and as a result of a stupid injury at work, that will never be possible again. fuck my life. fuck it. i think it might be the result of karma. all that i've ever done wrong has somehow came back to me in the form of personal injury. but why? i've never REALLY done anything wrong. i guess i am a liar, but not a thief. i'm not manipulative. i don't purposely fuck anything up for anyone. i have never caused harm to anyone unless they deserved it. i've taken every form of abuse and pain that has ever been thrown my way and i've dealt with it. i'm not that guy that you hate, but i'm not that guy that you love either. i'm that guy that you can't stand because he's not afraid to say what the fuck is on his mind. and maybe sometimes i'm that guy you feel sorry for because he can't quite figure out how to live life. if i had to write my life story, it'd be anything but ordinary. but the past is over, and what i took for granted then i long for now. i guess that's just it. life's no storybook.

geese don't like meat

it's so lucious, this scenery behind the curtains hides the greenery that we won't see till the sun goes down cause the night brings new promises and laughter from all our friends they all look better with a drink in their hands

all i wanted was just another drink from your perfume a little memory of you you're drunk enough to fuck i'm not sober enough to refuse should have put the bottle down before this body was exhumed

i wanted to create this little piece of art but all i coughed up was a little bit of hair that i choked on when you caught me tying it in knots (get it?)

my tongue like scarabs each word spreads the disease like too young lovers in picture perfect syncronicity hidden between soiled sheets you were the cure for a blind man chasing a blind dream

i found out yesterday you're too pretty for mirrors so we'll break them cause there's no luck that's worse luck than her love maybe we can take this as a test of fate and finish it off this time

there's no sense calling out the shots you should take when you know you won't take them knowing they're the ones who make or break you forgetting that there's two of you left or right if there was a way to choose between me and we paradoxically we couldn't make it

dead celibrities line the floors smelling like the latest trends and whatever happens when maggots form we don't even care any more

let's not play this game of chance and for a second just forget that this is all going to end with or without our regrets you can't help but feel a little sick walking down whyte ave, our bodies hand in hand calling out for some more shit you'll never get fucking just to forgive lying to make you feel like you're not done yet who's gonna be there when you've finally lost your head and your misery's on a killing spree piling bodies around your bed you're no god damn man you're no god, damn man.

we're oh so special oh so unpredictable so foolish in our conversation but it's laughter i need and common ground to stand on between two human beings alive now in our sense of feeling oh so out of control

met you under the moon smoking cigarettes at the picnic table your teeth like elephant tusks think i swallowed you whole

you've got to take care of things when you're on the edge of something beautiful and thoughtful coming from your tongue to crucify the loss of control you lost years ago don't be afraid to say what you couldn't before because so they say time changes everything but do we even know who they are any more

in the grand sceme of things, we're all chasing the same dream and i've never been known for my impeccable timing but if i haven't said i'm sorry then i guess i should for the person i used to be, not me i'm broken down and bleeding ink like a box full of broken things you kept beside your bed for when you needed me but i miss you now more than i ever did cause we've both seen what worse can be and best has been lately it seems i'm torn between and empty heart or an empty bed so please if you can, put this thing to rest or tell me something that i can use to rest my head