Why does everyone expect me to be perfect? I'm good at school related stuff and everyone would think me the perfect child but i'm not...i mess up all the time and nobody expects it...i am normal ya know! I'm sitting here in my room crying because i've been fighting with my parents. They're always going on about how i look and how i look after myself. They moan about the slightest thing. I can't help the way i am! They always boast about how great i am at school but it's Kara who gets all the attention, she's perfect at home and doing okay at school. She's stable but nobody's helping me at home. Nobody understands that i need help... At school i'm expected to stay near the top of every class and if i start going down everyone says i can do better but i can't! They put pressure on me to do better and then they teach us about peer pressure and stuff... I even get all the pressure from Guides. I go to girl guides and if they ask me to bring something in the next week and i forget they say that they expect more from me.....as if my life isn't hell already. I can't cope with any more of this...i hate disappointing people and i seem to do it all the time. I need some time to think but i never get any. My room is my place but mum and dad can always get in there. The only other place i can hide away is in music...i know that i won't have as much time to listen to it when my responsibilities grow and that terrifies me. The lyrics and the rhythm flowing through me are all that keep me going every day... Every day i have the same things going through my mind. 'Do they really care about me?', 'How can i do better?', 'What would their lives be like without me?', 'I wish i was dead...', 'What's the best way to kill yourself?' and tons more... I can't cope anymore! I'm drowning under pressure and nobody knows it. The rains pouring down hard even when the sun's shining. I hate my life and i wish it were over... 'And I feel like I'm living the worst day Over and over again ……… ......... And every day is the worst day ever Yesterday was the worst day ever And tomorrow won't be better It's history repeating (on and on)'- Simple Plan ~ Worst Day Ever 'I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair Nobody cares, cause I'm alone'- Simple Plan ~ I'm Just A Kid ‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect’- Simple Plan ~ Perfect ‘To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life’- Simple Plan ~ Welcome To My Life ‘And I can’t stand the pain And I can’t make it go away No I can’t stand the pain How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I’ve got no where to run The night goes on As I’m fading away I’m sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me Everybody’s screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I’m slipping off the edge I’m hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can’t explain what happened And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done No I can’t’- Simple Plan ~ Untitled ^^^ i wrote most of that last night. When i went to bed mum and dad were moaning at me again and there was a big storm. Thunder and lightning... *edit* Thomas, if they care so much why do they put so much pressure on me.....they never even notice me anyways. I can shut myself in my room and cry and they don't even notice...They don't care...