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July 4, 2008 |
Feeling: wishful
1:00am - I'm staring at the stars while lying on the trampoline and I have time to get lost in my thoughts...
In general I realize that I chose the hard way.
But now, currently in life, I realize that I have chosen the easy way.
I think about the past and how I got this far.
The good times and the bad.
I think about where I am and how it makes me feel.
I think about my future and where I'm going to be and where I want to be.
I think about the events that happen on this day.
I think about the people that are involved in this holiday and in my life on this day.
But above all, I think about love.
My love.
Where is he?
What is he doing right now?
"Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt that I love." -Shakespeare
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| (0 comments) | Love, me |
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| 554 |
July 1, 2008 |
Listening to: Secondhand Serenade - Vulnerable
Feeling: apprehensive
On the way home from Brigham City, Billy Hill called me and basically wanted to go to the fireworks with me this week.
It was then I realized I wanted to be with so many people all at the same time for the Fourth of July. Sigh. So many decisions.
I didn't really wanna be with Billy...
Nate seems like a jerk and acts like he doesn't care if he ever sees me.
Natalie and I haven't made so many plans...
Kellie & Matt are stayin in SLC...
I don't even know if Kirri is coming down...
I'm usually with family eating pizza on the hill....
But...if you ask me...what I want....
I want to be with Dallin and his friends.
Let me be blunt.
I want to be...near Caleb. Approxiatmately within 50 feet distance of Caleb that night.
I know it's crazy, something that -I- want.
But good things happen on July 3-4.
Ssshhhh, don't tell anyone.
I'll be harassed forever.
Hey, I've been single for like 9 months now!
And I don't go after things that I want very often. Usually I just take what comes... No offense boys.
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5:17pm July 4th
So now....everyone knows I'm in like with Caleb.
Everyone being my bro and his wife.
They know because I wanted to hang out with 'him and his friends' too much and his wife thought I got all giggly around him.
So I think....
I'll back off...
And pretend it never happened.
Yeah. Okay.
Awkward.
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| (1 comments) | Love, me |
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