|
i would kill....but not for this |
April 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Video Killed the Radio Star
Feeling: reluctant
I'm almost out of High School. It's incredible. This has been such a strange journey I just can't believe it will end soon.
Where am I going from here? |
| 92 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
it's good to be alive |
January 2nd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Jack's Mannequin-Lights and Buzz
Feeling: ambitious
Okay. I'm gonna cut back on the shitty emo posts.
I just got back from Winter Camp. It was amazing.
I have re-evaluated my situation many many times. And I think I've got it pretty well down, which makes me feel better about everything.
I made some silly mistakes in the past couple months, silly mistakes involving the people I date and the friends I chose to bare my soul to. But it's in the past, I'm over it.
Right now is right now. And right now I want some In & Out really bad, damnit Nina.
It's been raining. It was raining when I got here, and it was really nice, to just cuddle up in the living room and watch Godzilla and be home. I slept till 1pm today. Haven't had such a good sleep in a long time.
And I keep listening to Fix You by Coldplay, damn Kevin and Hannah for that.
|
| 67 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
i need you
|
|
will you still feel? |
October 24th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
No one will ever bring me down the same way I can bring myself down....
I almost feel regret. Regret that I ruin my life, knowing fully well what I'm doing.
It's begun to sink in, that I inhibit myself from loving people the way they deserve. But at the same time, I give chances to all the people who don't deserve them.
I ruined it. ruined ruined ruined ruined. and He doesn't even know it yet. It's ruined in my mind.
....and I thought I could change. But I can't. I feel sick. |
| 77 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
screaming |
October 2nd, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Gwen Stefani-What Are You Waiting For?
Feeling: angsty
I don't know.
It's harsh how you think you know what you want, like boys for instance, then out of nowhere comes a guy who just sweeps you away and in the span of a week everything is changed.
I admit nothing.
But I'm going to Oakland next weekend. I'm excited. I leave Thursday for Lancaster so Rosi, Jammy, Keena and I can head up there friday together. |
| 71 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
i need you
|
|
let's give this malady a melody |
September 10th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: TV
Feeling: angry
I hate how my dad get pissed and throws things, but I hate it even more that I do it too.
Why did I have to grow into this? I hate it.
I think I want you because you're the only one who ever gave a shit. |
| 90 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
i need you
|
|
let's give this malady a melody |
September 10th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: TV
Feeling: angry
I hate how my dad get pissed and throws things, but I hate it even more that I do it too.
Why did I have to grow into this? I hate it.
I think I want you because you're the only one who ever gave a shit. |
| 70 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
remember that when you can't sleep at night |
September 1st, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Lucky Boys Confusion-Atari
Feeling: wet
JJ and Laura lost thier house to Hurricane Katrina. Now they're living at her parents house with like 25 other people, no food no electricity.
I am majorly bummed about this Hurricane business. I'm already starting to go through my closet for clothes to give to the relief fund and I suggest everybody do something of the same nature.
I miss the boy. A lot. why does trying to be happy have to be soo painful in the beginning? |
| 67 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
please don't get me rescued |
August 25th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Jack's Mannequin-Made For Eachother
Feeling: blah
God why are people stupid.
Honestly. I think there are people on this earth who were only put here as punishment to the rest of us.
Andrew McMahon will never cease to rock my world |
| 61 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
i need you
|
|
this is a story about a girl and a boy |
August 24th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Jack's Mannequin-La La Lie
Feeling: burned-out
I am the girl, and he's the boy.
I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done
We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away
And we spent four days on an
Island at your family's old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect...
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised
I lace my Chucks, I walk the aisle
I take my pills, the babies cry
All I hear is what's playing through
The in-flight radio
Now every word of every song
I ever heard that made me wanna stay
Is what's playing through
The in-flight radio, and I
And I am, finally waking up
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
Don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, yeah
So read your books, but stay out late
Some nights, some nights, and don't think
That you can't stop by the bar
You haven't shown your face here since the bad news
Well I'm here till close, with fingers crossed
Each night cause your place isn't far
And hours pass, and hours pass, yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah, she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, bruised, bruised
I'm still counting the minutes.
|
| 68 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
i need you
|
|
see the face of nothing change |
August 20th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Hot Hot Heat-Middle of Nowhere
Feeling: powerful
Today was a mildly good day.
But I have to say that dear lord some people are soo gullible.
I think I should take a shower right now. So I can sleep in and stuff. Ya know? But then my hair won't be straight. But whatever. Why do I care, honestly?
come quick
I am losing feeling
I am a sucker, for pretty things and pretty words. Bah. Who needs them? Except me?
all I need from you
could be the thing
that leaves us both up here
forever
|
| 64 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
don't panic, there simply is no need |
August 19th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Jack's Mannequin-I'm Ready fitting isn't it?
Feeling: beautiful
I am tired. But generally content with my last day of freedom for a while.
It's 11:30. I just got home. There's a fire on the hillside.
And I'm thoroughly convinced that things are going my way.
and it's all that I can do to stay
with all the things I didn't say to you
before you moved across the country
and from the burning building where I lay
as I watch the stars become the day
the LA girls are lacing up their sneakers
they run the boardwalks and the beach
this fishbowl is all they need
it's everything I needed too
until I heard the news....... |
| 82 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
I'm just tired of you |
August 18th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Tommy Lee-Tired
Feeling: torn
Oh Sick-B, you are a douche, but I still lurve you.
Now that I got that out of the way.
Paycheck tomorrow. Movies with Ben and Levi I guess? Fuck this not having a license thing.
Day off. Hell yes. So I'm gonna go to bed and try to get a nice nights sleep.
School starts soon.
The peen princess might not be coming to VTA for the show, I hope she does, I really want her to come even if she IS going to be mooching off of us all night long. I miss her and her "pimp goes out like a Bert"-yness. God Warped was fun. Tiring, but fun.
So I still have to find a girl to make out with me at the show, I guess? and I must remind myself to talk to Brian about FM and make sure to make the point that the show would be the difference between me getting laid and me not getting laid (I think that's a language he'd understand, even if it isn't completely true, right)
I called Dan the dark, bitter, spawn of Satan today and he didn't bitch me out. He really must be in a good mood, being back home and all. Which is always nice.
High heels at work for 4 hours is a no-no.
tonight tonight
he's gonna get it right
even losers can get lucky sometimes
all the freaks go on a winning streak
in a perfect world all the geeks get the girls
I want the geek :o( |
| 67 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
i need you
|
|
a place in the stars like a constellation |
August 18th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Army of Freshmen-We Don't Hear a Single
Feeling: lovestruck
Today was by-far the worst of my summer. Today should be erased from the books completely.
I just want somebody who I can call after a bad day, and go hang out with. But nobodies like that. Which is quite harsh. But I think I'll live. I hope so at least.
Lately I can't seem to get enough sleep, ever. No matter if I sleep 4 hours or 12 hours. It's really lame and I don't like feeling tired all the time. Plus I look like shit 24/7 (normally I don't feel and look like shit at the same time so...)
The show is in 10 fuckin' days. I am soo amped and ready for this. Apparently the boys are back in town, which is nice, can't wait to randomly run into one of them. But if Dan almost runs me over with his damn truck one more time I'm going to kill him, personally. I was telling Nina, it's been soo long I am actually missing the way Kai flips his hair when he talks. It cracks me up, and when I see him I'm just gonna bust up. Ahh, love those guys.
I don't even want to talk about work right now. I am very very stressed about it. VERY FUCKING STRESSED. I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack. But I just need to relax and remember that even if I lose this job *knock on wood* I now have experience and it might be easier to get a new one. But let's hope that doesn't have to happen.
you want nothing to do with me
I don't know what to do with you
'cos you don't know what you do to me
I want this to be RIGHT. I want this to WORK. I want him and that's all I think about sometimes.
baby is this love for real?
let me in your arms to feel
the beating of your heart
baby |
| 71 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
so much in this world's make-believe |
August 18th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Andrew McMahon-I Need You (off Tommy Lee's new Album)
Feeling: alive
I'm really fucking hungry. But the thought of eating food just disgusts me right now. I can never tell if it's the former Anorexic in me, or just my mind trying to be a rebel.
I need to clean my room. Really bad. And I have this new layout for my room to. I'm gonna need to clean, and pack it all up, and get some people over here to takes my shelves out, disassemble my bed....all that good stuff. I'm gonna paint the walls green and yellow, and the bed green, and probably paint the shelves, desk and dresser yellow. All I need to find is a couch (preferably a black one), and a smaller desk. I'm gonna keep my computer on the new desk, and put the tv/dvd/satbox on the dresser across from the couch. Should be wonderful. We'll see :o)
First, before everything, I have to clean my fucking room. haha. and I promised cookies at work. So I gotta do that too |
| 75 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
i need you
|
|
god fearing world I'm soo afraid to enter |
August 17th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Lucky Boys Confusion-Something to Believe
Feeling: alright
45 steps to the liquor store
just another breakdown
that I can't afford
but I can't worry about tomorrow's pain
tonight
I am really tired of people who feel sorry for themselves.
and I am EXTRA tired of people who automatically assume that I am going to feel sorry for them.
All I want is my friends, and the boy that I've been thinking about all summer. Every time I see him, it's different, it's better. It's getting there, but not fast enough.
Too bad we don't believe in love, ya know?
some times I don't know why we'd rather live than die |
| 58 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
i need you
|
|
| Entry List |
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i would kill....but not for...
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it's good to be alive
|
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will you still feel?
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screaming
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let's give this malady a...
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let's give this malady a...
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remember that when you can't...
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please don't get me rescued
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this is a story about a girl...
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see the face of nothing change
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don't panic, there simply is...
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a place in the stars like a...
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I'm just tired of you
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so much in this world's...
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god fearing world I'm soo...
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god fearing world I'm soo...
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I've got vicodin, do you...
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still kicking
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if i wanted to understand you...
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she needs someone, she needs...
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all the voices in my head are...
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if you listen close you'll...
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don't really know what I was...
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you hang me out to dry
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she's a rebel, she's a saint
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on my tombstone i write the...
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the fact of the matter is it...
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until then I walk alone
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god only knows
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i can tell you why people go...
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its the last thing I need...
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its raining all the time
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coward
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in my heart I wanna undo all...
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your solitude
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i swear i still want to hear...
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what lies the like to give
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I'm not the carefulest girl
|
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wouldn't it be perfect?
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I love the people that you...
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war is not the answer
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nothing will change
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it sucks to be under 21
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its a lie
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its a small world after all
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I was on your porch
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let it go
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no one safe around here
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give mankind a beating
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you hate him
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places where we used to go
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akward ways we meet
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I wanna scream with you
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wish I was famous
|
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rock & roll come and save me
|
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does he know that place?
|
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i made up my mind this time
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no more looking I am found
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drinking jack and cola
|
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letting go of what I once...
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do you like to hurt?
|
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how do you know how you feel
|
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hey beautiful
|
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what was she looking at?
|
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plastic time-share
|
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so maybe you loved me
|
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trying to put the blame on me
|
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lord knows we don't need you
|
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all my life
|
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this isn't what I wanted to be
|
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Screeching Weasel playing on...
|
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where the angels fly
|
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i'd be an angel
|
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maybe not
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its.....ok.....its great
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you do it soo carelessly
|
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i try hard
|
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I may be a loser
|
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barfights
|
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believe in....what
|
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I love the way you laugh
|
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I'm not a perfect person
|
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how was I to know
|
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you insist to pull me down
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she should have been a son
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I've got a real complaint
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please die Ana
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just sitting here by myself
|
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he kisses his wife with...
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1..2..3 blame it all on me
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i like to play it tough
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say fuck that
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trying to be so perfect
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40oz intoxicated dreams
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find out where she got her...
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I breath, does it make me the...
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always ready to back you up
|
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I fell in love with people...
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I've got the mic and you've...
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taught me how to stand
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someone must stand up for...
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i cannot try
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i'm a sick one with a smile
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I'm never giving up on you
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a beautiful somewhere
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still killing me
|
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all potential towards the wall
|
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what makes you stay we'll...
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I'm all I wanna be
|
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this may never start
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on my knees for you
|
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heart bruised blue and black
|
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and she holds on
|
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you can't make them want you
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they're going to cut you
|
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a bullet that I can't keep
|
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your no jesus
|
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use me
|
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nowhere
|
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your not worth the paper your...
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if it means anything it just...
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the beauty of horror
|
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last good thing about this...
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lets play doctor babe
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it won't be so easy to sell...
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i don't think you like me,...
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can't wait to fuck this up
|
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hate is overrated
|
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smoke goes in your eyes
|
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he's better now
|
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we were meant to live for so...
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oh god goddammit I think I've...
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when all is said and done and...
|
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to be forgiven we must first...
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automatic guns for automatic...
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dying eyes wide open
|
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judge me fuck you
|
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always acting like a beauty...
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reminders of the youth we lost
|
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gentleman our faith is wounded
|
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everybodies hooking up
|
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everythings fine,I feel like...
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too much excitement for me
|
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a beautiful baby blue
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Woah, I'm in love with yet...
|
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Your Breaking Me
|
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It's 2004 on the West Coast
|
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so my choice is Or Death?
|
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Backbones and Imaginary...
|
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and it's not what it seems
|
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ckuF kooL tA tahT
|
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Run Away
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DTR
|
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how do you gauge lonliness
|
|
After X-mas
|
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X-mas (come again?)
|
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Pictures......soon
|
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Concert
|
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quake
|
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X-mas Shopping II
|
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X-mas shopping
|
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Thingy
|
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yuor nmae hree
|
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anti-american?
|
|
Concert!
|
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Ew
|
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you want apologies
|
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wingless
|
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Happy now
|
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weekend over
|
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dance dance dance
|
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survey says...
|
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fucking whore
|
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yuck
|
|
lame
|
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i am heaven-sent...
|
|
Guitar (again)
|
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Oi
|
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Fuck Being Sick
|
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Shaking
|
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forget me
|
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Ghosts
|
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Sick
|
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Brand New
|
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Layout
|
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Nighttime
|
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don't wave your rights with...
|
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ugh
|
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Pixie Stix fun
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Kill Hannah
|
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taking it all back
|
|
on to morning stars
|
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Fate Falls Short
|
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Dumb Bitch
|
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stuff
|
|
me=stunned
|
|
*phew*
|
|
Guys
|
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Ataris Concert
|
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Grrr
|
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Tomorrow
|
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Anything
|
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Syrillic
|
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don't forget your name...
|
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CA Fires
|
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Asshole, can we say?
|
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Yawn
|
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Lip Ring
|
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Guitar #4
|
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Ataris
|
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urgh
|
|
Shit
|
|
sweepy
|
|
Birthday
|
|
You open your mouth again..
|
|
Conversing
|
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Unforgotten
|
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Almost Friday
|
|
Metallica, Distillers, and...
|
|
Issues
|
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Boycott
|
|
Anti-Gay
|
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Friend..not
|
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Ow Shit
|
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Work It Out
|
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Bitten
|
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Potatoooo
|
|
Fuck Computers
|
|
Thrift Store
|
|
Reunion
|
|
Guitar Lesson #1
|
|
How lame am I?
|
|
PRC
|
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LOOK!!!
|
|
Concert!
|
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Blah
|
|
Stupid Stupid People!!!
|
|
Spit on....Again
|
|
Bum Bum Bum
|
|
WEEEEEEEE
|
|
Guitar II
|
|
*tear*
|
|
AHhh
|
|
DISTILLERS!!!
|
|
Guitar
|
|
grrrrr
|
|
ok guess not
|
|
think twice
|
|
shattered faith
|
|
yesterday died
|
|
Parents!!
|
|
Just Leave
|
|
Wierdo
|
|
Fiend
|
|
if they don't kill you, I will
|
|
united we stand, united we...
|
|
no antidote for irony
|
|
Chem
|
|
Friends :(
|
|
Nirvana
|
|
B.E.T.T.E.R
|
|
Confliction
|
|
Confliction
|
|
Bitch Bitch Bitch
|
|
i'd rather die
|
|
Beyond dying
|
|
Dying
|
|
Fuck This
|
|
everybodies doin' it
|
|
Arm Whore
|
|
No Mas
|
|
Layouttttt
|
|
bitch....that was not cool
|
|
crack and hoes
|
|
Stupid Question
|
|
YAY
|
|
15 with tats? o gasp
|
|
t-r-a-g-e-d-y
|
|
all i ever wanted was to get...
|
|
Happy Birthday...not
|
|
STUPID GIRL
|
|
fucking sad
|
|
Plaid and Cds
|
|
Sing-a-long
|
|
Hate You
|
|
So0o0o
|
|
First day was....
|
|
School....
|
|
Guitar?
|
|
Quinn!! good for me, no?
|
|
This Fucking World
|
|
Burning....really
|
|
been here before
|
|
Blah
|
|
Sung Reminders
|
|
Shoppin
|
|
Blah
|
|
The Starting Line
|
|
movies
|
|
Losing Streak
|
|
My day was good
|
|
BeTtEr BuTtEr BeTtEr BuTtEr
|
|
Quote Unquote
|
|
It's The Fair!
|
|
Kill Her
|
|
Lalalalala
|
|
Ow
|
|
Hrmmm
|
|
Made It
|
|
Au Revoir
|
|
AFI
|
|
The Used
|
|
My Mom, the 6 year old
|
|
Grrrr
|
|
Warped Tour
|
|
More Warped
|
|
Not So Good Vacation
|
|
Bye
|
|
Fuck the Industry
|
|
LTJ!!!
|
|
Leaving
|
|
Here to Kill..
|
|
Dancin'
|
|
WEEE!
|
|
EXPENSIVE!!
|
|
12:35 and still going!
|
|
Thrift Store
|
|
Mest
|
|
he's gone
|
|
Crackers
|
|
Boo
|
|
epitome of pathetic
|
|
WEBSITE
|
|
Civic Tour
|
|
Distillers!
|
|
SnoRe!
|
|
Blah
|
|
Oh Shit
|
|
why me?fuck
|
|
Woop
|
|
O Boy
|
|
Skool
|
|
Civic Tour
|
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Boys & Girls
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Concert
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My Mother
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très bon
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Once More
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SoLo
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FIGHT
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Sortof gay day
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Loner, Again
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ThRiFt StOrE!!!
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My End
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Survery I stole
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Going to Die
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Anyhow
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Rock Freaking On
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The Ataris
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School?
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Why
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Uggh
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Good Charlotte
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Like they cared
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Killers
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All-Nighter
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My City Sucks
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Freak Show
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come as you are....
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People Suck
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now that you all don't like me
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FREAK
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Screw School
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809 scam.....
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been a day
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only cuz they can't be
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I'm Such a Cracker
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Not Today
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You people hate me
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Friday?
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Haha
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| 381 post(s) |
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