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| April 15, 1990 - July 14, 2008 |
July 17, 2008 |
Chad,
You were one of the most amazing guys I've ever met. You constantly made us all happy and carefree. You could put a smile on anyone's face. Everybody loved you, but most importantly you loved everybody else.
I loved you like a second brother [along with Anthony, TJ, Matt, and Tom.] And Silvana was my little sister even though her and I drifted once I went off to high school and she was still in a younger grade.
Why did it have to be you?! Of all people? Man, God sucks. [sorry if that offends anybody] But honestly, he keeps killing the ones that mean everything to everybody. He doesn't kill the arseholes. Only the good die young. I'm fully seeing how that quote works out so well. You were the best.
And I'm going to miss all the times you've flashed me. You're moon was consistent in the majority of my memories, probably like 75%.
Rest in peace, Chad. We love you. And I'll see you in heaven. ♥
April 15, 1990 to July 14, 2008.
C.B.S. Forever In Our Hearts.
******
I went to his house last night with my mum. It was absolutely dreadful seeing his mum break down in my arms. Silvana, Melissa, and Katie were making a scrapbook of pictures of Chad for the viewing. It was depressing. I couldn't even help them with it. I was just still in shock. The fact that he died hadn't reached me yet.
Then we went downstairs and into his room to work on a poster for his viewing && funeral. And Melissa put some music on and we all ended up crying. TJ came down and played one of Chad's guitars and then he too started to cry. It was....I finally realized that Chad wasn't coming back. Before this moment in his room, I was expecting him to come through the door, say something silly, and grab some food and shove it in his mouth.
But that never happened. =[ I suck at comforting people. And I hate crying, because well, I think it looks weak. But I couldn't hold myself together. TJ, Silvana, Melissa, and I were all on Chad's bed letting completely loose. && then Silvana, Melissa, and Katie left Chad's room. And I didn't want to leave TJ in there all by himself just crying, so I stayed with him. Attempted to comfort him.
We got working on the poster again. And then Anthony and Sara showed up. Thank gosh. And Anthony took over the position of comforting TJ.
It was completely stressful. Everywhere I looked I saw Chad's cheerful face looking up at me. And this is in his room. There are guitars and snowboards and skateboards, a vert ramp that he made in wood-tech at school, and amplifier.
I'm going to miss this kid so much. And I'm no longer in denial.
I know it happened. I know it's real.
*******
On Tuesday mum and I went to where it happened. And we put some flowers there. I found some pieces of what look to be his motorcycle. He loved that thing. I don't want to believe that he was speeding when he died. But if he was, that's Chad, more than the average risk-taker.
*******
It's like 3:20 am. I have to pick my brother up at the airport at like 3:40 pm. My brother is coming back from Wisconsin for Chad. It means a lot to TJ, and to his mum. And to basically everybody here.
The viewing is today. There's two "showings." Since I have to pick up Jeremy during the first one, I'm going to go for the second one.
The funeral is Friday. It starts at noon.
******
Chad, wherever you are, in that place called heaven or whatever, I hope you're having a blast. I hope you're either skateboarding or snowboarding. And I hope you're making the angels smile as much as we did while you were still here. We'll never forget all the memories you gave us.
We love you. |
| (0 comments) | cmnts |
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| Twenty-Five |
July 13, 2008 |
I've me a new pair of Converse.
I had a "boy toy" but I got bored of him.
I think he's just now realizing it.
*shrugs* Oh well.
I have a good friend.
I'm quite interested.
He's quite interested back.
We'll see how that one goes. =D
I'm going shopping tomorrow.
Probably buying more shoes.
♥
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| (0 comments) | cmnts |
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| Twenty-Four |
July 6, 2008 |
Woahh. I've seriously forgotten about this thing. For almost a month. That's pretty damn good. Let's see, what can I say...
On June 20 & 21 or something I went to orientation for LHU. Twas awesome. Met some extremely rad people.
On June 27 I went to a Dave Matthews Band concert with my friend Tom. We missed the opening act [The Black Crowes] because like ten-thousand other people were also fucking extremely late. But Dave played such a wonderful, terrific show. =]
July 4th, the family came from all parts of the eastern states. Had ourselves a BIG fucking party. Twas awesome. Then the after party with my cousin Andrew, his cousin Samantha, and Little Andrew [cousin Amy's boyfriend] was a good time.
July 5th, I hung out with the family and then at like 9 something, I went and hung out with friends. Matthew, Irene, Ricky, Alan, and Jon at Jon's house. He lives close to me! Yay! Like a ten-fifteen minute drive. tis fucking awesome, man.
Dude, i can feel myself changing and i'm not sure if I like it or not. Not like politically. Well, except I'm really fucking going nuts as to why I picked political science as my fecking major. Fucking stupid, really. But seriously, I'm becoming...idk...different.
I had a good talk with my brother on the 4th on the phone. He's in Wisconsin so he couldn't make it to the big family bash o fun. And we talked at like 8 or 9 pm and he told me he had been drinking since like 1 or 2 pm. Yes, he was definitely somewhat wasted. But we had such a wonderful talk and he made me realize and think about some stuff. And he says he's never been a bad influence on me, but that can not be true. He has had a bad influence on me. We both hate living with regrets, and I've been making plans with this guy Zac lately about going to meet him halfway between where I live and where he lives and having us some good ol fun. Cos like hell, if we do anything he's not gonna go telling everybody I know because we don't know the same people. So it'd be good but in a way it's not. we're both just fucking using each other.
I'm not going to continue this.
I'll go on a rant about everything in my life, even though I fucking love my life.
But I fucking wish to all hell I could go to a fucking toga party.
[Oh, and see, i'm swearing wayy too much right now.]
i need to go buy some Converse or something... |
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