|
|
January 29th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
|
goodbye... |
| 135 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
I'm better off alone then i would be in your arms... |
January 26th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Your memories will always haunt me like a ghost
To put it nicely I hope you choke
A poet of sorts but I'm not enough to give you an eyesore
It's hard to swallow with your hands around my throat
I'm sick and tired of, I told you so
You can call me at home but I know better than to answer the phone
When people ask about the last time that we spoke
I let the stitches do the talking for the most part
And I leave out how you threw a lamp through my front window
Just burn the photographs and bury all the pages that we knew
In short this is a long goodbye to unexpecting you
Even if I spend 2004 listening to Morrisey in my car
I'm better off alone than I would be in your arms
In your arms
I'm better off alone
(In your arms)
Just burn the photographs and bury all the pages that we knew
In short this is a long goodbye to unexpecting you
Just burn the photographs and bury all the pages that we knew
In short this is a long goodbye to unexpecting you
To unexpecting you
To unexpecting you
(Just burn the photographs) To unexpecting you
(Bury your memories) To unexpecting you
good bye.
The.End. |
| 38 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
am I the reason you breathe, or am I the reason you cry? |
January 25th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Always - Saliva
Feeling: intrigued
this is to someone...you know who you are.
this song is for you, every fuckin word of it.
...not that they'll listen to the message this song is sending them...
but i tried, no one can say any less of me than that, right?
i fucking tried.
it just wasn't enough.
Always
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...
it's telling me all these things...
that you would probably hide...
am I... your one and only desire...
am I the reason you breathe...
or am I the reason you cry...
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...
I feel... like you don't want me around...
I guess i'll pack all my things...
I guess i'll see you around...
Its all... been bottled up until now...
as I walk out your door...
all I hear is the sound...
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I left my head around your heart...
Why would you tear my world apart...
Always... always... always... always...
I see... the blood all over your hands...
does it make you feel... more like a man...
was it all... just a part of your plan...
the pistol's shakin' in my hands...
and all I hear is the sound...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I pick myself off the floor...
and now i'm done with you...
Always...
Always...
Always...
 |
| 34 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
i love you i hate you i just cant live without you... |
January 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Saliva - Always
Feeling: apathetic
today was okay i guess...we got our schedules for the new semester and startd classes.
im changing my C block class, hopefully i get into pottery with Stan andor ali...i ♥ those two ♥♥♥
im not sure what to think of my a block...i mean, i love the teacher and the class seems pretty cool, but...it makes me think too much for the most obvious of reasons...
its A block shakespeare...
but anyway
my friend brought whiskeyt to school today...we shared it, haha. it wasn't enough to get me staggering or anything, it was just...enough.
and my lindsey got her license today...so we consumated her getting her license by breaking the law, lmao. she drove me home even though shes on restriction.
i ♥ that girl...
i used to sort of like her...well, i thought i did anyway. now that i think of it i realize it was more of a pathetic attempt to make the *other* person jealous then anything...but of course, how can you make someone jealous if they don't care in the first place?
but anyway...she has a boyfriend now and i freaking love that kid, and shes happy, so yeah...i guess i'm happy too. shes an awesome friend to have, i wouldn't trade her for anything...now if she'd FRIGGIN SWITCH INTO ONE OF MY CLASSES...*eyetwitch*
haha, just kidding, not her fault, all of my classes that she could come into are full right now...im hoping they'll empty out a bit...
hmm...i need to think about this one for a bit...o_O
wow, and i'm ramboling...haha, this is what happens when things happen...lol
eh well, whatcha gonna do?
anyway...Sanna is now my new hero...we went snowboarding today (me, her, and sara) and on the way home we stopped at mcdonalds for food...and sara went to the bathroom, so me and sanna snuck in after and sanna hid under the sink and i was by the door, and sanna grabbed sara's leg when she went to wash her hands...lmao, sara screamed, it was fucking priceless.
which reminds me, i must go put sanna under my heroes section of myspace now... |
| 46 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
|
January 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
|
yeah, because you know, everyone goes to the ones they care about most and say "hey, lets date...but lets have an open relationship, so i can fuck around with anyone i want and you won't be able to consider it cheating."
yeah, i'm definetely feeling the love on that one. |
| 39 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
everthing's my fault... |
January 21st, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Unwritten Law - Save Me
Feeling: abandoned
you can't save me
(everthing's my fault)
ok, i'm going to go through this
ONE.
MORE.
TIME.
and THATS IT.
...i hate him because he used you. i know you don't see it, but of course you'd refuse to see it...
but he fucking did.
i hate him because he is for you what i'll never be... what you are for me...
i hate that he had fucking everything with you, and he could've had fucking anything he ever wanted...an opportunity i would've killed for...and he fucking threw it away.
i hate him because all it would take is just a few simple words, and you'd go back to him instantly.
and then its "hey, fuck you, i dont want you anymore...you were just my rebounder... you were there, and i took it because i couldn't be with him."
i hate him because you love him... |
| 90 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
it's over now... |
January 18th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Finch - Without You Here
Feeling: regretful
so...
today.
*deep breath*
today...sucked.
majorly.
not that i expected anything else, considering...
still, i wouldn't have minded being wrong this time.
it rained alllllll day today. actually, we lost power and got sent home early from school.
i don't normally like the rain...but today it was okay...
i walked in the rain...and no one knew i was crying.
i don't know why i let everything get to me today, i just...can't help it...
when i was in 7th grade, i met this girl...her name was april...she was my best friend.
around november-december...some bad things happened...she did something really stupid, and she got suspended from school because of it. she was crying, so i hugged her and told her everything ould be okay...
she told me she was afraid to go home because her parents abused her...
after that, everything changed. she became less of a best friend to me and more like a...well, like a kid i guess. i looked out for her, i protected her, i took care of her...
i loved her...
i dunno, when i look bck on it...i probly did have a crush on her. i might have even been able to love her eventually, if i wasn't so damn homophobic...but that was back in the time when it wasn't okay to be gay, when if you weren't straight you were shunned by everyone you knew...
but i did care about her...i did everything in my power to make her as happy as possible, and to help her, and when that didn't work i tried to help in ways that were really beyond my power...but i still tried.
anyway...eventually she moved out of her dads house and moved in with her mom who lived a few hours away.
and eventually, i found out she'd been lying to me the entire time...to use me...
her being abused, and afraid to go home, and all that shit about how bad her life was...it was all a lie.
and i haven't really talked to her since then...
i dont know why im bringing all this up. i guess i just feel like my friends deserve an explaination for why i was so...out of it today. and i don't feel like telling them in person, because i hate doing that. then i get the whole "oh you poor thing how could someone do that to you thats so horrible blah blah blah..."
don't get me wrong, its good to know they care...but i don't want pity. especially when shes the reason behind it. it's in my past, i'd rather just deal with it on my own, i don't need anyones help, because this isn't something that my friends can make go away, and it isn't something i like to talk about much. so...yeah.
shes in my past...let the memory of her die there.
so yeah, thats why my day sucked...and it didn't help that when i wasn't thinking about that, i was thinking about her...and the song that was stuck in my head all day didn't help much either...
but what can you do but push past it and hope for the best?
The storm is bad tonight,
so how could I awake without you here?
Your picture's on the wall.
You haven't called.
But I'll wait for you.
To her own reflection,
she says, "I will hold on"
To her own reflection,
she says, "I will be strong"
The storm is letting up,
but it won't die.
If you weren't wrong, was I?
Your picture still remains,
but I wonder are you still the same?
To her own reflection,
she says, "I will hold on"
To her own reflection,
she says, "I will be strong"
Am I losing you?
Am I losing you?!
I've waited, I've waited til it's over
It's over now...
To her own reflection,
she says, "I will hold on"
To her own reflection,
she says, "I will be strong"
|
| 74 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
I'm not your star
|
|
| Entry List |
|
blank
|
|
I'm better off alone then i...
|
|
am I the reason you breathe,...
|
|
i love you i hate you...
|
|
blank
|
|
everthing's my fault...
|
|
it's over now...
|
|
its times like these when...
|
|
darling you give love a...
|
|
"home" again
|
|
Why did I ever let you inside...
|
|
you ripped my heart out...
|
|
you would kill for...
|
|
i just want you for my own,...
|
|
OMG IM LEAVING THE DAY AFTER...
|
|
blank
|
it's not you, its...
|
|
blank
|
|
Still counting the days since...
|
|
=/ =(
|
|
dearly beloved, we're gather...
|
|
check this kick ass song out
|
|
And all the perfect words...
|
|
you almost made me cry again...
|
|
Shock rock Rob!
|
|
please don't walk away...i...
|
|
why dont you care at all?
|
|
blehhhhhhh people suck
|
|
:D
|
|
just another regret...
|
|
yay!
|
|
hahaha...
|
|
never coming home, never...
|
|
this helps me to think all...
|
|
conversations with fate...
|
|
It's not me, so who am I now?
|
|
frustrated,...
|
|
blah boys :(
|
|
and i almost had you...
|
|
oh my beautiful one...
|
|
trials and tribulations
|
|
last night i saw my world...
|
|
nightmare of you...
|
|
im so far gone now, ive been...
|
|
survey-ness...and bored-ness
|
|
if i should die, don't let...
|
|
shoulda done something but...
|
|
loversssssssss
|
|
Dance dance...we're falling...
|
|
nightly emo session...
|
|
i'm weak. admit it. i...
|
|
...what a beautiful...
|
fuck love, its nothing...
|
|
blank
|
|
step one...slit my throat
|
|
you'll never know...
|
|
*ouch*...lol
|
|
things swiftly come and go,...
|
|
i can't...do this...anymore...
|
|
i think i've changed my...
|
|
blank
|
|
if i fall...down
|
|
blank
|
|
the little things make me...
|
|
you'll never know, all that i...
|
|
and i dont know why, cant...
|
|
and we'll all dance around,...
|
|
why am i so pathetic?
|
|
tell me that you're...
|
|
if love is a labor, i'll...
|
|
wow im pathetic, lol
|
|
hmm...apparently cool...
|
|
i wish you would step back...
|
|
I'd do anything to have her...
|
|
ness :(
|
|
aloha...?
|
|
grr people
|
|
in the arms of the...
|
|
sarah wont let ,e type! lol
|
|
*mad face*
|
|
dooo ittt if you ♥ me
|
|
...i miss yo.U...
|
|
They dot love you like I love...
|
|
blehhh
|
|
and all my love...i did devote
|
|
Letters to yo.U...
|
|
well i miss you...well i miss...
|
|
|
|
i didn't want it to mean that...
|
|
blank
|
|
well you'll never find...
|
|
i actually learned something...
|
|
real love is forever
|
|
dude
|
|
hell yes
|
|
COME ON PEOPLE!!!
|
|
do you care at all?
|
|
haha i ♥ barry
|
|
so long, and good night...
|
|
hey look, pictures
|
|
ehhhh im lazy
|
|
love and all that great...
|
|
!!!!!!!DUDE!!!!!!!
|
|
argh
|
|
whee!
|
|
I'll keep you my dirty little...
|
|
blank
|
|
im not an...
|
|
eat drink and be merry,for...
|
|
bloooooooooood
|
|
heyyy
|
| 111 post(s) |
|
