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fuck you |
November 21st, 2008 @ 9:02am |
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fuck you. im sick of being like this. fuck you self. one day im gonna make you pay. fuck you for screwing up the only thing that mattered in my life. fuck you for making me destroy everything. did you hear me self? im gonna kill you someday. you're sick. you're fucked up in the head. you dont deserve to live. everyone tells you that, why don't you listen? you're worthless. you're a fucking worthless pile of shit. no one loves you. you are alone. always alone. what makes you think you're special? what makes you think that you are deserving of love? what makes you think that you deserve to live? you're fat, you're ugly, you're a liar. fuck you. just simply "fuck you". |
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sick |
October 27th, 2008 @ 1:14pm |
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we stayed up a good part of the night watching a movie and drinking beer. Like i said in my last entry, i ended up taking him out to dinner. which didnt really work because my card got denied buahahahaha. really fucking embarrassing. so i owe him 20 bucks lmao. oh well. but things worked out in the end so im not worried. We got home and got drunk, i was pretty wasted even tho he wasn't. he said he dint feel like drinking, but for some reason i did. overall it was a really good night. Boots slept on the bed until the movie was over and was really good all night long. i just hope barrett had fun, i think he felt sick or something. but i wuv him soo muchh.
well this morning i woke up, obviously hungover. as i drove his mom to work i started feeling worse and worse. i got home and just wanted to sleep away everything that hurt. barrett let me stay home from school today. its an abdominal pain that comes in waves along with nausea. iv had it before and i ended up having m period. i dont know if that was just a coincidence or it was something else entirely. i hope this is a symptom of my period because it would make everything better for me. it really hurts when its at its worse but when im just chillen, its also really uncomfortable. i dont know whats wrong with me. if i get my period, ill be so happy. |
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today |
October 25th, 2008 @ 12:57pm |
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Things are much better after our big fight. i just think there were things that needed to be said and now that everything is out in the open, we can move on and fix what needs to be fixed. I got a big ol bag of reeses peanut butter cups and im eating them all like a big pig. Barrett could have some if he wasn't at work all day long today. he had to work from 10-9 today because someone can't come in. this is cool because he will have a day where he just haves to work three hours or something, so its basically like a day off.
Today his mom's sister came to the house. she came right in and without pausing she says, "i might as well spill the beans, i have breast cancer." Barrett isn't here so he doesn't know yet. he takes those kinds of things really hard. its his aunt for gods sakes. i dont know what i should do. Sue says i should take him over to her house after he gets out of work but i dont think thats a good idea if she says she always tired all the time. i would think shes be asleep at 10:30 at night. i hope that she does well in her surgery. i hope they can get everything and not go through chemotherapy. i hope shes okay.
Boots is doing super as always. he shits in the room at night an pisses on the floor at night lmao. but hes usually really good about going to the door during the day. he doesnt get it right all the time but its all i can ask for if he at least does it some of the time. today he got his collar stuck on the kitchen table. hes pulling as hard as he can and squealing when it catches and yanks him back. when i first got down there and held him still i thought his head was caught but it was just his collar. it was too fucking funny. hes a good dog tho and he loves me =P
i hope everything works out in the end.
and im thinking about taking him out to applebees for out 6 months. they have that 2 for 20 shit going on. i figured it would be a sweet thing to do. we havent really gone out to dinner since our first date :] |
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