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August 11th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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So I had an interesting conversation going through nine mile tonight.
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you had made different choices? of course you have, we all do.
I wish that I had the wisdom I do now back then, oh the mistakes I would avoid, but at the same time how many new mistakes would I make? The mistakes I've made are a major part of who I am today, so if I chose a different path would I even turn out like myself?
So if you could change one thing about your life, one choice you made, what it be, think carefully, the domino effect counts here. So if you chose not to date the guy you lost your v-card to, remember that it could effect everything up to the relationship you're in now, or if you say that you never would have pick up the bottle or the bong you might end up in a completely different place than you are right now. But seriously, just sit back and think of the choice you made that most effected your life and basically put you in the place you are in now, made you who you are today, if given the chance, would you make the same choice, or go down the path of the unknown and see where it leads, knowing that you could end up in the same place, better or even worse off than you are now. |
| 63 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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and out come the wolves |
July 28th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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So work sucks,
but I got donuts from one of my managers and I'm back on my normal team, no longer banished to fcr camp with the newbies and slackers,
it's funny, they put me over there have having low stats (which they weren't to begin with) and when I come back I get treats for having the best stats on the team.
Our mco (maintenance dept for those of you who are not inside verizon) is going on strike some time between friday and monday (I can't blame them, verizon is trying to take away their pension), which means the rest of us are going to have hell to pay. I know we are going to be backed up with calls and those customers will not be happy sons of bitches. No ones getting a tech on time any time soon and I'll have to hear about it. Maybe this is what is going to put me over the edge, make me either A)quite or B)Shoot the place up myself just to get out of there.
Other than that life's alright, LuLu is doing good, she eats a lot, but then most babies do don't they. I'm getting a raise in about two weeks which means I'll reap the rewards of it in a month, but boy will I enjoy that extra 50 cents each hour, that's 4 dollars a day bitches. |
| 16 hit(s) |
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July 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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I don't mine the sound of plastic breaking,
or the distant drone of a babies cry,
keys pounding away at some game,
it's all life,
and I don't mind life,
after all breakfast is the most important meal of the day,
and we all like to eat,
just ask the statistics,
there's one for everything,
and no matter how much you try,
you're always on one side or the other,
there are no cracks to slip through there,
and I don't mind that every other person out there who's taken a high school writing class calls them self a poet,
and slamming is my goal in this art,
to stand in front of a crowd and belt out my words like a speech to angry mob,
sick of the sounds of life,
sick of the way they have to live their lives,
but do they understand the words that are coming out of my fingertips?
Their cheers bring me nothing,
just another empty room,
my thoughts and I,
and I've done a good job again,
such a GOOD job,
but it could have been better,
should have done better,
paid more attention in school,
should have gone to college,
could have been a doctor,
but that's not what I want to do in life,
and this is my life,
this is life? |
| 27 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
poke me
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July 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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it's an ok day, I'm not to tired, my kidney's don't hurt too bad and I woke up before noon.
I'm thinking of leaving PRC, if I can get a better job I'll take it in a heart beat. They're killing me there. I've gotten to the point that almost on a daily basis I'm tempted to just throw my headset off and walk out the door without so much as a goodbye, just slip away unnoticed (I managed to do that once, I went to lunch and didn't come back, called to let them know I wasn't coming back for the day and my Manager didn't even know that I was gone, I had been gone for almost an hour!)
But they are hiring at at&t, better pay, benefits, and more opportunities to move up in the company. |
| 25 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
poke me
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May 18th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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The moon is what you are,
pulling me in with everything you have,
just to push me back out,
always taking small pieces of who I am,
to remind yourself that I will come back.
Like the line that poem,
that is what you are to me.
I've crossed the line of madness,
repeating the same experiment
and expecting new results,
If I keep this up
there won't be anything left of me to take.
I'm sliding backwards, I was getting better, but you and I, we know that doesn't happen, we're not allowed to get better, only to have the illusion of a healthy life. We can be happy only so may days out of the year. Depression of this magnitude is like hold a job inside your own head and you get a day or two off here and there, but n the end you know you have to go back to it. It doesn't seem so bad at first, but it quickly gets worse and you know your back in the same old pitfall as before, digging yourself out of holes with dynamite. I pray to a God I find myself doubting just to let it end, either rid me of this horrible demon which he has thrown upon me or let it end. I'm tired, I'm just so tired all the time, and I try to show the world that I can be better, that I'm not so bad off, but I'm rotting from the inside and it's only a matter of time before they can all see it. Time I'm always counting time, 9 days until my next paycheck, that I can make last 12 days but I need to stretch it 14 and there is no way that I will ever get it all done in the time alloted. Why do I get this way? with more grief than one body should carry It's crushing me, no wonder I'm always so tired, with all of this weight I'm carrying around it's a wonder I can get out of bed on the days that I do.
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| 37 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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May 11th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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awesome-sprog's baby shower went pretty well, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and things went over pretty well. Got some amusing footage, the cake taht Thomas' mom made was awesomely beautiful, as was the diaper cake, and the games were very amusing, esp the baby pacifiers game. |
| 17 hit(s) |
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May 4th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
what have I done?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I just cut off all of my hari after trying to grow it out for so long, and it doesn't look very good ); |
| 26 hit(s) |
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May 1st, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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So I've lost control,
I can't stop the panic attacks, I have 4 dollars to last me a week and a half, I feel like I've lost any originality I once had. I'm just plain old Mac, who shops at thrift stores, works tech support while drawing pictures of herself killing her cx (customers), I live with my sister, her fiance, my boyfriend and soon a god baby. I have two tats, though most people only ever notice the one. I've taken out my piercings, I've gained 20-30lbs, and I'm going no where.
I want to cut my hair, but I know that if I start I wont stop until it's all gone, I want to go for a walk, but I know that if I take one step out that door I'll never stop, I want change, change for the better |
| 28 hit(s) |
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poke me
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just a reminder |
April 27th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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I'm like a line from an Indie movie at the back of the store that only stoners and geeks dare to watch and rarely understand.
I am bent but not broken,
bruised but not beaten,
I can love and I have hated,
but in the end I've been there,
done that,
and you'll have to scrap the bottom of the barrel to get to me buddy,
I've changed myself a 1000 times and I still don't know who I am,
So how could you?
Don't give me that glittery eye,
and those butterflies in my stomache are from too many drink,
not your manly grip on my throat as I get off yet again,
I've seen your kind before,
and he's laying in the graveyard now,
can't take back my mistakes now,
no use in preventing them from happening again,
because today will aways turn into yesterday,
and I can look you in the eyes and say I'm sorry,
with big brown eyes all watered up and a push up bra to remind you of what you'll leave behind,
I've got no intention of changing any time soon,
but it's later now and I'm bald with eye patch on today and my nails are covered with green paint,
I'll leave chips all across your back,
king me,
I've doubled my bet and I'll not walk out of this bar an empty woman,
sunrise is going to come too soon and all I want is the darkness so you can't see the bruises on my thighs.
Wow! I have no idea where that came from, but I read it to James and his only remark was "You're a freak."
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| 42 hit(s) |
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February 24th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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does anyone remember the pink medicine, from when you were a kid, that stuff that tasted like strawberries and you waited all day just to get to take it, begged your parents to give it to you, those were the god old days when medicine came preflavored, but that stuff was like nothing else, I can' remember what it was for the life of me though. |
| 37 hit(s) |
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poke me
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