|
| |
| hm |
July 5, 2008 |
Well, here's a slightly less depressing update on my life in flames. Before I get to that though, I must bitch about how my car too has fucked me over. In the words of Chris, "if there was a god, he would be smiting you."
I've decided to turn to karma and figure I have an excellent few months coming up for me soon. Karma can be a bitch, but it also can be very rewarding.
Anywho, I'm starting to feel a bit more at peace with myself. My inner turmoil is slowly cooling off. Not boiling anymore, but maybe a heavy simmer. That's a big step for me. I still don't feel the same happiness I know I'm capable of feeling and I've taken to a new terrible hostility to everybody. Most of the time I'm just 'kidding'.
I'm going to see a shrink on Monday, maybe I can talk some of my shit out and get my head straight again. I've gone once before and I got really pissed off and didn't go back, but that was when I was incredibly angry at nothing. I have a lot of shit to be angry about now a days so maybe it'll work... Eh, I mostly think it's hyped up oversensitive bullshit, but maybe I can make it work for me. I'm trying to keep an open mind.
Chris just called me and managed to piss me off. Seriously, he pester pester pester pesters then when I get so fucking irritated because he doesn't ever shut the fuck up all he can say is, "ooh someones in a bad mood."
What the fuck would he do if I was like "ooh somebodys an extremely annoying pain in the ass." He'd get fucking pissed to.
Oh my god, I can't handle anything. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| My life in flames. |
June 28, 2008 |
Just got back in Ocean City. It was awesome. Great time, really.
Uhm, second night there... got arrested and spent the night in jail.
6 hour drive back in a month, awesome.
There's seriously something insanely fucked up with me. I can't deal with the shit that goes on in my head any longer because none of it makes any fucking sense and I can't work it out. It's a big jumbled 1000 piece puzzle. 1000 pieces is a whole fucking lot of puzzle.
I need to see somebody I think. I went once before and it was such total bullshit that I couldn't do it. Honestly though, I don't think I can get out of this one on my own. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Fucking bastard |
June 20, 2008 |
I'm really pissed and upset. I want to vent and I want to bitch and I know I have reason to. But when I think about the bad thing that happened to me that night I think of everything that led up to it. I'm embarassed by what an asshole I was.
I suck. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| The End |
May 28, 2008 |
I'm feeling laziness is creeping in.
It might be a while.
Ill leave things at this;
I'm going to be in Mexico in 13 days at an all enclusive resort with Chris, drinking age-18. Cost of alcohol, unlimited.
I will be spending a week in Ocean City a few days after I get back from Mexico. It's senior week then.
I love Chris with my entire heart
I'm happy
Hopefully I'll write again soon |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| prom, end of high school |
May 27, 2008 |
ahahahaha, prom was hands down the biggest fucking joke of my life. seriously, its nice though because it makes sense. what better way to cement my thoughts that high school is total bullshit, than a totally bullshit dance.
after party and bens was sick.
passed out around noon the next morning and got a really lame farmers tan. sweet.
uhmmmm, not in the mood for writing
i havent been able to breathe properly for a day or two |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
May 7, 2008 |
I was up very late last night. I kept myself awake with those forbidden thoughts that I can't even bare to hear in the privacy of my own head. |
| (3 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Easier said than done. |
May 4, 2008 |
Excess, over the top, too much is never enough and boundaries are rules. As the cliche goes, rules are meant to be broken.
Each night starts out the same. Me, a full bottle of Captain and and insatiable thirst for ridiculousness.
I know this is irresponsible. I even voice my intentions of responsibility for the first three shots. I pretend that I'm being responsible by saying, "I'm going to be a responsible drinker tonight." A lame attempt to make up for whichever way I made an ass out of myself the previous time I drank. Then, the second I lose track of how many drinks I've had... is the second I stop caring enough to keep track.
I think I've noticed I tend to get greedy with my alcohol around the time I should stop. I thought there was a trigger in my brain that was always saying "more more more" but I think it's really just craving "too much".
My problem isn't that I'm constantly drinking. It's not like I can't go a week without alcohol. If I went for a month without drinking it wouldn't even cross my mind once. But when I get my hands on a bottle and the rum hits my lips, it's done.
I don't know if these experiences I'm having lately is a reflection on my chronic drinking phase. I feel sometimes like I did have a small problem before. I'm reading the book Smashed by Koren Zailckas right now and it's more or less her reflection of become an alcoholic. My past relates to hers in so many different ways (on a much smaller scale). But the thoughts she has and the situations she got herself into feel like thoughts and stories from my past. Honestly it makes me wonder if Chris hadn't came along... if that would've been me. I know that's not me though and I know that I'm not bound to be fucked or anything... but was I a borderline alcoholic for a little bit? Do those tendencies creep back up on me when I put myself into those familiar situations? It's all rather confusing/ slightly disappointing.
Then there's the other half of me that thinks I just get to excited about drinking. When Chris and I got together we stopped drinking just because each others company was all we wanted. Now that we're starting to go out and party again, I might just be getting too excited to be drunk. Maybe drunk just doesn't feel as normal as it used to and I subconsciously choose to ignore my limits in the name of partying.
I just gotta work on my shit some. I don't want to get myself into a sticky situation everytime I go out and drink.
Responsibility is key!
Anyways! After a seriously boring rant like that... I'll have to continue with a seriously boring, yet more light-hearted rant.
Chris and I got to urge to buy remote control cars today. Yes, entirely childish... but giving into your inner kid cravings always feels good. Anyways, took the seven minute drive to target and decided there wasn't enough selection. So we got crazy and took the 20 minute drive to Toys R Us. Arrived at approximately 7:41; Sunday-closed at 7. So we swing down the hill to Best Buy, it was on the way but still failed to have any Remote control cars. We headed to Kmart (which was on the way back) and found an equally if not more shitty selection than Target. So we went back to Target and dropped 30 bucks each on toys. Like 4 year old boys on Christmas we opened our boxes and assembled the pieces and finally, we were driving our remote control cars. Then like watching a train wreck in slow motion our cars start breaking down. I opened the creatively named "Owners Manual" directions where it said the battery needed to be charged for 8 hours (contrary to the 'Ready to run' claim on the box). Dissapointment kicked in, I read on; full charge will last approximately 15 minutes. If I'm going to spend 30 fucking dollars on a stupid ass toy I want to play with it for more than half an episode of Scrubs. Bullshit.
Complete bullshit.
How pathetic is it that I am 18 years old and just got myself insanely worked up by a remote control car. Actually, how pathetic is it that I even wanted a remote control car. I ordered from the kids menu at dinner today.
When the hell am I gonna grow up? |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
April 15, 2008 |
I went to a shrink once because I thought I had some anger issues. I got real pissed off and left.
I think there might just be a lot of shit fucked up in my head. I don't think quite right. Sometimes yes, but there's no room for stupid mistakes anymore.
I was drinking a few weekends ago and got real pissed off. I told someone I had a good weekend and they asked, "weren't you real pissed off?" ... I think that's why I liked it so much.
I do stupid things and put myself in stupid situations. I wonder if, subconciously, I'm aware of the possible consequences to my idiotic actions. Sometimes I think bad things might turn me on (in a non-sexual way). See. My head is not quite right at all.
Maybe not bad things. Maybe just passionate and spontaneous things. The bad things I do are generally full of passion and unplanned/provoked.
I don't know.
Alicia's sisters getting herself kind of fucked up. It's real hard to see that especially knowing that Alicia can't be here for her. I'm trying to fill in as much as I can though, I feel like she can talk to me about shit more than anyone else in her family (other than Alicia). Alicia and I are basically the same person.
I miss her.
This is stupid. |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| The Real World |
April 2, 2008 |
I've officially decided I want to be on the fucking Real World.
Chris gives me shit for it because he says it'd be stupid for me to go away if we're still together. BUT I WANNA DO IT!
I'd be good at it. Hahaha.
I've been watching the Real World Reunion and decided to write about this craving of mine.
I really think the reason I'm writing in this is because I don't want to go to sleep because sleep means morning comes and morning means school. Lame.
Maybe that's why I can never sleep.
Summmmerrr where are you? |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| That Girl! |
April 2, 2008 |
I really honestly did think this girl was just a phase. That's really all it should've been and a large amount of people realize this, except for a few. I have no fucking clue why they hang out with this girl and I can't give a shit less about it...until they force me to hang out with that mother fucker.
Really, that's not cool at all to be forced to listen to that stupid bitch.
Really, she tells these "stories" that KIND OF apply to what we're talking about... BUT NOBODY WANTS TO FUCKING LISTEN TO HER TALK AND HER STUPID STORIES ARE FUCKING STUPID
fuck that bitch. |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Panic Attack. |
March 31, 2008 |
Hah. So last night I didn't talk to Chris for like an hour and a half after he should've been home. I don't mind not talking to him but I just always like to know he's home. Usually I call him when I get home and that's that or if he doesn't hear from me for a while he'll call me.
ANYWAYS, so I called him no shit at least 30 times. I was so worried. He started... dabbleing... in certain things. Nothing serious, but his parents wouldn't exactly agree with him. Well, considering the circumstances I thought maybe something happened and I was histerical about it. I don't like that he's doing the things he is doing... but it's not serious enough to ask him to stop. I just worry too much. I always worry when it comes to him.
I wish he didn't drive so fast.
I have a serious problem, Spider Solitaire needs to be deleted from my computer.
-I would kill somebody if they did. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
March 26, 2008 |
I have an intense craving to make bad choices and do fucked up things.
Consequenses aren't worth the satisfaction these days. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Waiting |
March 26, 2008 |
Well, I've been putting off writing in here in hopes that I would uncover something interesting or having a miniscule point. No such luck.
Oh a day in the life of Nikki; it could be compared to a day in the life of an ant.
Actually, I think ants may be more interesting. The whole colony deal they have going...
I climbed two whole walls in gym class today. Gym will forever be an academic joke to remind kids that obesity is not okay (it's worked well. ahem). Anyways, I'm kickin ass in it. I hate when I do good in gym. I feel like I'm recognizing a non-existent importance in it. Honestly, I just wanted to let those walls know they don't got shit on me.
In the words of Dana, "We just took those walls and made them our bitch."
My room is entirely decorated and designed for my enjoyment from when I was a pothead. I absolutely will not change it. I could never imagine taking down any element of my room. Especially my Harry Potter poster. Wawawa.
I'm terrible with money. I left my 10 dollars sitting on the table at Applebees today after we paid and tipped our bitch of a waitress. I wouldn't give a shit if the waitress was nice, but she sucked and didn't deserve the luck at my misfortune.
I love Duffy and his "sexy vibes". Hahaha
I want him and Dana to love each other and get married.
-They don't even know each other.
I can just feel it, I'm declaring myself a fabulous matchmaker. (Those are usually the worst ones.)
The weather was beautiful today. It felt so good to not dread the fact that I got the worst fucking parking spot 6 miles away from the building. The parking lot consists of Main and Ghetto. Ironic considering were white suburban kids. Anyways, then there's this little shit of a parking lot that I've been to once to skip class since sarge was in the parking lot. Why the hell did I have to park there? Nobody fucking parks there. The hicks used to but that was because they all had trucks. I think they felt a sense of belonging with their collection of trucks. Anyways. Chris and I played outside. It reminded me of when we started dating. He smelled the way he used to too. I stopped smelling that smell when it was cold. I thought I had just gotten use to it. It was a fresh feeling, and a tease.
Oh summer please be here sooner. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| I'm stupid |
March 19, 2008 |
I really am. The thoughts that go through my head sometimes are so unreasonable it's hard to bare.
They hardly ever visit anymore though so it's cool.
There's sounding like a crazy person for you!
I have to work tonight, I'd rather not. It's Wednesday but my spring break starts today so it's like a Friday for me. Whatever I get out at like 9 so I'll probably go out afterwards. Boop. I'm happy. |
| (2 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
March 18, 2008 |
I'm okay now.
:)
Everything makes sense again.
I love my Chris
I have a sick fucking obsession with spider solitaire. I haven't been able to wake up in the mornings for about 4 weeks. Managing to roll out of bed and get to school on time is a major feat.
Why is this?
Because I keep myself up until 3 oclock in the fucking morning writing nonsense in this diary and stacking cards in numerical order.
I just love those fireworks at the end. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| fucked |
March 17, 2008 |
The thoughts that are going through my head are fucked up.
They can't be true.
I just have a distorted sense of lust and reality.
I know what I want, I know what I need, I know what I have.
I think more importantly I don't know what I don't have.
|
| (2 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| What happened? |
March 14, 2008 |
In my head:
-Drugs are commonplace
-Addiction's normal
-Drugs/Alcohol are an explanation of fucking up
-People are fucking fantastic if they can get back on their feet
-As long as you just smoke pot, drink, the occassional coke binge and perhaps a few pills... you're straight.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Honestly, why has my mind been warped to have this point of view. The two fucked up things about this:
1.I don't do drugs anymore.
2.I truly honestly believe everything I listed
And I know, I know its fucked up. Like yeah, power to people who fucked up and got their shit together. I know it's hard and they should be incredibly proud of themselves. Why does overcoming a problem overpower the fact they were fucked up enough to get themselves in that situation.
Because of personal situations I have quite a grudge against heroin, but cokes cool man. "Nah I don't fuck with hard shit," I'll say. Coke doesn't fall into the hard shit catergory in my head. Does that add up?
Somebody says, "I cheated on my boyfriend." I ask, "Were you drunk." "Yes." "Well that makes sense." NO! It fucking shouldn't make sense. It does though, in my head it makes perfect sense.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm realistic or numb to this shit. In my head I'm realistic. I know what certain drugs do to people. Some shit makes people better people. Some shit fucks them up to a state of no repair. In my head and with my experiences, it's not always bad. I've always kept my shit in control, but that's me. I've met a lot of people and watched them fuck up real bad. What makes me different?
I worry about future generations. I don't like that theres ten year olds smoking pot already.
Is heroin going to be commonplace in 15 years?
I so badly want to say fuck drugs. I can't though. Sometimes they make a lot of fuckin sense. Some people just get confused I guess.
|
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| sensible, never. |
March 13, 2008 |
I love my life. I honestly have nothing to complain about. I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. My parents trust me again and we get along great. Work's great. I have friends. School is short and painless and almost over. Really, there's nothing to complain about.
Yet behold; I complain.
The adjective that comes to mind is bored. I'm not bored though. I enjoy spending my days laying in bed with Chris watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for hours on end. The most drastic change in my life is when we decide to mix it up with an episode of Friends.
I used to bitch about change a lot.
Change makes things interesting I suppose; keeps you on your toes. I am not bored. I am boring.
I don't believe I have a mediocre life or feel like I'm settleing. I'm just boring. I'm boring now. That's sad. I used to be a good time.
I tried to talk about this with Chris and I understand how he took it personally, considering it makes no fucking sense.
My thoughts tend to take the form of a 4 year olds jewelery box.
Yes, that does make incredible sense in my head.
Oh boy am I a mess.
I saw a little girl today walking through the mall with her mom. She was tippy toeing into every square refusing to step on a crack. I was walking through the mall with my mom shopping for a prom dress. I remember tippy toeing through the mall with my mom. Now I am big and have adult conversations and I don't care about stepping on those cracks anymore.
When did I grow up? I remember seniors seeming as old as my parents. I'm happy I'm going to be "diving into life" very soon, I just wish I knew when the fuck it happened. Oh where does time go?
I always think I miss being little. Big parts of me do, the ignorance and simplicity was great. At the same time, I like all of the experiences I have had and where they've brought me. I can't figure out which one is better. I suppose I should decide being older is better, considering I will never be five again.
Sane thoughts, why have you fled my head?
|
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Fuck. |
March 12, 2008 |
You know what. Maybe, I just want somebody to make me a nice fucking grilled cheese sandwich right now. Maybe I don't want to have to cook it and clean it myself. I just want a fucking grilled cheese sandwich with ketchup. Did something happen to set off this ridiculous and entirely unsensible rant? No. I'm just incredibly pissed that I can't have what I want. Why? Because I am a bitch. And I'm in a bitchy mood. And my boyfriend is in the fucking bahamas fishing for a week and I want somebody to fuckin spoil me and get me stupid shit I want for 15 fucking minutes.
OH FUCK. That felt incredible.
Who needs sex when you have sitD.
Anyways, this week has been quite the hormonal week for me. I cried histerically because my boyfriend and I don't have as much sex anymore so he told me he masturbates now. Oh yes, way too much information, I know. I just don't care about being a private person anymore. It's all fuckin comin out! I just don't think it's a healthy relationship if one person isn't satisfied in any aspect of it. Especially sex. A good sex life is key to a good relationship. Nobody can argue that. Except old married dried up couples I suppose.
I need to stop being gross.
I can't sleep for shit, which is what brings me here. I read on the main page a quick part of somebodys entry about how they've had sitD since 9th grade and lost touch.
Oh how I do love these little reunions though. I really do want to write more though.
I had to write a quick anicdote for comp the other day and I really enjoyed it. Not to sound cocky, but I think certain writing is a small talent of mine. I want to explore it more.
I remember about two years ago I had a sitD story; it got deleted. Maybe?
I remember having some faithful readers though, SitD is a lovely community.I dont remember much about it. It felt good though, I remember that much.
I've been told by a lot of people that I have my way with words. Two people told me I should be a professional Hallmark card writer. I swear on my life, they both used those words exactly. I made my mom cry on Mothers Day from the letter I wrote her. Good cry. I need more creativity in my life.
I've actually started getting back into my photography a bit though! It's about time. Well, I'm not taking photos again yet, but I am organizing my pictures and finally putting them in photo albums. I should probably get everything in order before I add more to my overflowing clutter.
Well, this was an incredibly boring entry. I appologize to anybody who may have actually sat through this.
Take care :)
-Remember how pissed off I was at the beginning of this entry?! I love sitD man! |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Drinking ruined my taste |
January 15, 2008 |
I'm really upset right now. Drinking ligitamately fucked up my taste in music. I used to smoke a lot pot and listen to a lot of good music then I started drinking and I still love drinking and listening to bullshit rap, I really do. But I've been listening to nothing but bullshit rap for the past couple of months. I don't know why! I really don't, I guess just out of laziness of not wanting to plug in my iPod to my iTrip or scrolling through and finding a band I want to listen to. fuck. Plus my iPod is all Chris' music so half the shit on there I don't even know. I don't even know what the fuck I like anymore. The only two bands I ever think to listen to are my few classics and I love them, but I need new shit. I don't know where to start though. I have no idea what pleases my ears anymore these days. It's quite depressing.
I need to find my niche again. 3 or 4 years ago I was into all that emo bullshit and I just listened to some of it, seriously WHAT THE FUCK. I can't deal with that shit. I can't help but picture a fuckin anorexic 35 year old boy with pink wristbands and pants made for my 5 year old cousin reading out of a 13 year old girls diary. It's insane. Is that really entertainment? Have the standards of musical accomplishment seriously lowered to that level? Can I bitch to a tune and call myself an artist too?
Fuck I was born in the wrong damn decade.
Another thing I hate, that screaming bullshit. Yeah, I might be able to break some shit to that if I'm in a bad mood for 5 minutes. But really, can somebody explain to me why that's good music? I don't know what the fuck they're saying and get a headache if it's louder than a whisper. Is there something wrong with me?
Why do I know every type of music I don't like... and can't figure out what I do like. Everythings either too fast, loud, slow, boring, busy or whatever adjective comes to mind to complain about a song.
I hate depressing shit. I hate happy-go-lucky shit. I hate in between shit because that's just fucking boring.
I don't know. Throw me some good bands or something that I might like.
I think I know my problem. I like a lot of different songs, but don't listen to other songs by the same artist. I just listen to the same song by them, then get tired of it. I should work on that. Yes, I'm going to broaden my musical horizon and maybe find some sort of stability in music. I miss music being a part of my life. It's just been something to entertain me while I'm driving, or typing this article. |
| (2 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Boop |
December 27, 2007 |
Welllll, Merry Christmas to everybody who doesn't read this! Or me in 10 years when I read this.
My parents got me and my sister both this really really nice laptop. Ahh I love it. When yahoo pictures closed down I moved them all to flickr, which then flickr after a couple of months decides to inform me I can only see 200 of my pictures unless I pay 25 bucks a year. SO now that I have a fast computer I'm beginning the process of individually saving and deleteing every fucking picture. Then I'm going to burn them to a disc and never use internet hosting ever ever again.
Anyways! Going through all my pictures and shit made me really miss being into photography. Photographys the only thing in my life that I was pretty good at. You know, I don't do one single thing that impresses myself(let alone other people). I just really miss it. I miss being passionate about it and having something light up inside of me when I saw certain things. I don't think like a photographer anymore. I don't see like a photographer anymore. It's really sad because when you see things that way they always look so much more beautiful. But my cameras all sorts of fucked up so even thought I want to get back into it I can't. Hmpf. Okay I'm done with this for now. Later |
| (2 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| I love him |
December 3, 2007 |
Welp, I guess this week has basically been a long string of shitty events. Surprisingly enough, I'm going to be an optimist today and just pretend like the string is behind me and has ended.
Funny the things love do to you. hahaha. Man, have I changed. A year ago I'd be absolutely livid about the conspiracy theory you could call my life.
Anyways, I haven't written in here in a while and I kind of wanted to. I hate to write more about Chris, but I've been having some interesting thoughts and feelings about him lately.
It's kind of funny how after only 7 or 8 months he's become such a normal part of my life. Like the phrase "my other half" doesn't seem quite as ridiculous. He's always on my mind, or right next to me, or on his way over. There's really never a waking moment that he's not one way or another a part of my life. Anyways, when we first started falling in love it was every second that I was shocked how much I care about this kid. Now it's when he's not around that I realize like, holy shit I am head over heels in love with this boy. It's a really nice feeling to have.
You know, I honestly don't really remember where I was going with this thought of mine. It was in there somewhere but it seems I've lost a lot of my writing skills since I stopped smoking pot. Ironic? or maybe not.
He's leaving for 3 weeks. I can't imagine 3 days without him. 3 weeks what the fuck?
OKAY so to sum up what I just wrote a ton of bullshit about for about 20 minutes:
Chris is my everything. I doubt I could live without him but I wouldn't have the slightest clue because he's with me all the time. My guess though is emotional breakdown after emotional breakdown. Sometimes I seemingly forget how much he means to me but when I think of it it's just a dandy burst of fresh air!
Moving on to something other than my lovely boy.
I got in a kind of catty fight today. It's been hard. There's this kid who just makes up a bunch of bullshit. Now I had 2 choices. One, I could call him out and embarass him and make him feel like an idiot. Or two, I could ignore him and try to keep my bitchy feelings to myself. I tried for one of the first times in my life to just shut my fucking mouth and protect somebody from the truth about themselves. This lead to me completely ignoring him and cringing or running away everytime I saw him, heard him, thought of him or anticipated that he would be around. Now my initial thought was it would be worse to call him out. I think it turned out to be worse the other way. I just couldn't help hating him! I know how catty it is but I seriously did not have enough bullshit in me to suck it up and pretend. Anywho, I ended up puking up the truth today when he asked me if I didn't like him, and told me I could say it. Honestly, I think that's an incredibly hard situation to avoid when I've been so bottled up with irritation towards this particular character. Well anyways I kind of feel like I dick because not only did I shun him for a week trying to do him a favor, I ended up stamping his heart out anyways.
Oh well, the truth hurts I guess. Next time I'll try to avoid bottling anything up to keep the explosion a little less harsh.
OH WAIT! That's what I've always done and it came off as bitchy. Which method is bitchier? I'll let you be the judge.
yep. This has been nice.
OH P.S. Michele is the most unreasonable person I've ever met. Yes I punched her but she strangled me first. Violence is not the answer but it is the only fucking way to get through that girls head. |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| I'm one of those people, and Im incredibly happy. |
September 4, 2007 |
You know "those people the ones who I used to look at and see them bumbling around all chipper and laugh because they had their heads shoved so far up their ass they didn't realize the shithole they were in. Yeah,"those people" the happy-go-lucky fuckers. Well I've had quite the turn around, I'm kind of one of them now. I'm not sure if my heads far up my ass, or if things like Chris are enough to make this world actually a better place. I think he just makes my world a better place, the best place, but being this happy gives me a newfound confidence in the rest of the world.
I've lost a lot of bitterness over the past few months. I've been to happy to really waste too much time on hating the world.
I've said a million times I was happy, or content which was close enough for me. I had no complaints(exaggeration of course since I always have complaints) but generally speaking it was all good. I was wrong though. That's not happiness, thats not fulfilling, that's not what life is supposed to be. I never wanna settle with content as happiness ever again. Not after having this feeling.
I never realized how fucking wonderful life could be. My life at least.
Moving on the the more Nikki side of my thoughts, I still have a relentless hate for the morons of society. Rangeing from asshole drivers to virgin make-out sluts.
-seriously, let's try really hard to flirt with my boyfriend while I'm standing right next to him.
Now really, I'm not a huge jealous-type. We all have a little jealousy in us, but I know if I have nothing to worry about it's not worth getting my panties in a bunch. But fuckin A how god damn thick can you be! Like has this girl really gotten so much confidence shoved down her throat that she actually believes people give a fuck what she's saying? I know I know, virgin sluts think the more people that use their mouth as a spitoon, the cuter they get. But come on wake the fuck up, at least during pottery while you're breathing in my air.
Fuck, frusteration.
I hate juniors. I hate waiting in line to walk up and down the stairs because apparently they were too busy with their virgin orgies to learn how to walk a flight of stairs.
Mmm, feels good to get that out.
K! back to the happy-go-lucky bastard!
|
| (3 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| I'm one of those people, and Im incredibly happy. |
September 4, 2007 |
You know "those people the ones who I used to look at and see them bumbling around all chipper and laugh because they had their heads shoved so far up their ass they didn't realize the shithole they were in. Yeah,"those people" the happy-go-lucky fuckers. Well I've had quite the turn around, I'm kind of one of them now. I'm not sure if my heads far up my ass, or if things like Chris are enough to make this world actually a better place. I think he just makes my world a better place, the best place, but being this happy gives me a newfound confidence in the rest of the world.
I've lost a lot of bitterness over the past few months. I've been to happy to really waste too much time on hating the world.
I've said a million times I was happy, or content which was close enough for me. I had no complaints(exaggeration of course since I always have complaints) but generally speaking it was all good. I was wrong though. That's not happiness, thats not fulfilling, that's not what life is supposed to be. I never wanna settle with content as happiness ever again. Not after having this feeling.
I never realized how fucking wonderful life could be. My life at least.
Moving on the the more Nikki side of my thoughts, I still have a relentless hate for the morons of society. Rangeing from asshole drivers to virgin make-out sluts.
-seriously, let's try really hard to flirt with my boyfriend while I'm standing right next to him.
Now really, I'm not a huge jealous-type. We all have a little jealousy in us, but I know if I have nothing to worry about it's not worth getting my panties in a bunch. But fuckin A how god damn thick can you be! Like has this girl really gotten so much confidence shoved down her throat that she actually believes people give a fuck what she's saying? I know I know, virgin sluts think the more people that use their mouth as a spitoon, the cuter they get. But come on wake the fuck up, at least during pottery while you're breathing in my air.
Fuck, frusteration.
I hate juniors. I hate waiting in line to walk up and down the stairs because apparently they were too busy with their virgin orgies to learn how to walk a flight of stairs.
Mmm, feels good to get that out.
K! back to the happy-go-lucky bastard!
|
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| trickling down quite a bit ol sitdiary! |
August 16, 2007 |
Damn, the updates seem to be slowly dying down! I'm trying to keep it alive. I don't know whether my obsessive "sitDing" phase has died out or if it's my social life. Hah. No, I've been busy-ish. I guess for the first time I've had a steady calm normal reliable life and haven't needed to pour it out! Hm, that's a revalation if I've ever had one.
Anyways, I like these things. I like writing and going back and reading so god damnit I'm going to do it.
Well Chris (boyfriend) has been the greatest thing ever for me. My last entry was me when I was still in my anti relationship phase fighting it as much as I could. Reluctantly I gave in. Were going on 4 months tomorrow and haven't experienced any fights slamming a door or great sex couldn't fix! I know it hasn't been that long but for being kids I think we're doing real damn good.
It's weird to know what love is so young. So many people say you're too young to know what love is. I used to hate people who said it. But I don't know this isn't the kind of feeling you can fake or mistake it for something else. I think the puppy love phase faded after about a month. And what's left is just wonderful! It's weird... when I look at him and when he kisses me I can't help but think that there is nobody else in this world who could feel the same way.
Mmm cheese award goes to! |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| giddy slash pissed. hmmm |
April 9, 2007 |
healthy or not?
ive always been a firmly established believer in 'fuck and forget' or 'relationships are for retards'.
it seems ive landed myself in a relationship and I love/hate it. He makes me so happy, but I don't want him to. I hate fucking relying on people. And all fucking break I've been sick over this other shit thats going on right now and all I want is for him to be with me cause I feel better. It's so cheesy, so girly, so not me.
Everybody says it's healthy. And maybe it is. Maybe I've been avoiding something I had no reason to be scared of it.
I'm really going to miss waking up and being like "what the fuckkk did i do last night". ahahaha like really, I was hilarious.
In a disgusting dirty slutty kind of way. No not really, in a deuch bag asshole guy kind of way. And I fucking loved it. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| right down the shitter |
March 31, 2007 |
Honestly, I've never had my life flipped so horrible upside down.
This is been the most terrible terrible week of my life. And its so fucking unfair. Lifes unfair, and I can't handle it.
This week I've had three fucking car wrecks. THREE ACCIDENTS IN ONE WEEK. The last one killed my captain. Probably totaled. I'm the only one who's gotten my fucking shit together and worked hard to save up for this car. I finally get it then this shit happens. I don't understand why it sucks so much. Like I had that car for probably 2 months. TWO FUCKING MONTHS. Now insurance is going to be so insane high for me I'm not going to even be able to fucking afford to drive.
It's not fucking fair. I can't deal with this.
I've also lost a 'best friend'. Well, I guess I just learned he was no best friend. It's hard. But I've gotten used to the feeling so I don't know why I'm struggling with this situation.
Whats happened has happened and hopefully life will fall back into its oh so fucked up, but inevitable content position |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Beautiful weather, lovely day |
March 9, 2007 |
It was so nice out today, I loved it. It just made me so much happier than I've been lately.
I don't know what to blame for my bad mood the past few months.
I don't know if its weather, friends or not doing drugs.
Today the weather was nice, I hung out with Alicia and dipped into some fun stuff.
So it really doesn't help solve my problem much.
I guess it's just a combonation of all three, but either way it was fantastic.
Uhm, I don't know what the point of this is. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| i refuse! |
February 26, 2007 |
...to make another entry title be "grounded" for two reasons.
1. I'm grounded every other entry
2. I'm not sure if im legitimately grounded or not.
My mom found a picture with a bottle of booze in it. She said she was going to tell my dad and I'd be grounded. Well we haven't told my dad, and I suppose I've kind of self-grounded myself. I didn't go out saturday night with regards to the fact that I don't like anybody.
I guess more or less, I don't really give a shit if I'm grounded. I spent saturday sleeping and watching pulp fiction. It was the most fulfilling saturday I've had since, well, I'm not sure actually. I think I've declared next weekend a scarface marathon. And I'm excited for it.
I'm sure I'll end up getting dragged out of my house with the temptation of a bottle of rum. But I'll get drunk then I'm coming straight home!
I'm boycotting everyone. Nobody will notice.
Well that's nice and depressing for you! High school, it's all a big fucking sob story man.
p.s.
its kind of making me sick how half of my previous entries begin with 'im just so happy right now'. And how having that as a constant feelings just another memory now. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Merpinnn... |
February 13, 2007 |
Listening to: matisyahu -
Ehhh so you know, in my previous entry I wrote about how I smoked again for the first time in a few months on new years and I hated it. I really did hate it that particular time, just because it's been so long.
But I've been thinking about a lot lately. It used to be such a solid part of my life. Not in the "I dont know what to do with myself if I dont smoke weed" kind of way. It was just what we did. Like eating dinner or brushing your teeth. I just miss the relationships I had with people. It was nice to sit down with a person and get stoned. It created a bond you don't get normally. I'm also not saying I need to be stoned to have a relationship with a person. It was just different.
I've drifted apart from Alicia a lot also. I personally wouldn't blame it on me not being about to smoke, but I think Alicia has a hard time ignoring that barrier. She even said the other night that pot was a big part in her life. And I don't think thats weird at all, because that's how I was before I got myself into trouble. Its just hard because the way she looks at it is that it's so weird that we arent in it together anymore. I remember a long time ago she said drugs are what our friendship was. I was infuriated. I never thought of it that way. I still dont. She does. It's hard. I can't explain it. My feelings are hurt now. Hahaha. I'm pissed now. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Mt acne! (part2) |
December 18, 2006 |
hahaha alright man, the bitch is NUTS.
No, like really. She's driving herself insane over this. She wants to leave NA cause of me. I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING. This is the shit that crack does to you. Like shes all paranoid and tweakin out. Ive heard so many people tell me how she mentioned me to them, and i honestly couldnt give any less of a shit... but then she will IM me and freak out cause I "talk about her". She threatens to kick my ass, and so you know I call her up friday. Politely let her know like, hey... we both wanna beat the shit out of each other so you should just come over here and we should just get it over with. She calls me back... at first she got her friend on the phone and I had Gregg give them directions over. Then they just started calling back and talkin shit. Whatever. She's obviously not gonna do anything about it so I'll deal.
Oh, but the relief I'd get from punching that bitch.
whatever.
Friday night was nuts. I went to daves with shan and andy. Nic chris kc billy and billy came over for a little and got me drunk which was cute. Then we headed over to andrews with lots of people which was fun. Andrews such a cutie. Hes just a little baby! I love him... We had to leave there so we went to pats around 1030. I talked to chris about the whole "practice girl" situation. It was all dane. That still sucks, but at least I know it wasn't chris. We hooked up again. This is a disaster. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me! Whatever. I had to be home at 1230, then I snuck out again once my parents were asleep. I didn't get home til like 530 6. I was talkin to this kid then I looked at the time and I was just like oh fuck, my dads gonna be getting up for work. It was all cool though. I dunnnnnno
I didn't go to school. I'm ridiculously bored. I hope NA calls soon so i dont get in trouble later. hmm hm hm |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Mt acne! |
December 5, 2006 |
I don't like a lot of people. But when there's somebody that I hate, it's a big deal.
Jay. Back when all of our shit happened, it all boiled down to, shes a lying dramatic bullshit bitch (with a massive amount of acne taking over her entire body. ew). I forgot about her for a while, didn't have to deal with her -except when I couldnt go out one saturday night because everyone was going to her friends house and 'she didnt want nikki coming' Tacky bitch, I didn't realize we were in 3rd grade?!
Anyways, shes starting shit with shannon. I HATE how she lies about shit that she says. She does it EVERY time and I think she's honestly so insane that she might actually believe it. Fuck her. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| everybodys merpin |
December 5, 2006 |
Everybodys been so down lately. I'm pretty good though, but it still sucks. George especiallys been a huge merp cause he's grounded. I feel bad for him, but come on, I've done it a million times... it's not the end of the world.
My work schedule this week is fantastic. I only work sunday, today, wednesday then saturday 10:30 to 4:30. This is gonna be the first saturday in forever that I can actually do something.
ye yeeee.
I want a new job. I got 'recruited' to work at American Eagle, I was actually offended since American Eagle only hires ugly ass people. They don't pay enough so whatever.
Uhmmm kay. end.
this is gay. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
July 4, 2006 |
July 4th
It’s practically impossible to be able to sit outside and really enjoy a cigarette. There’s always something wrong. It’s either too hot, too cold, too loud, to wet… Leave it to the 4th of july to make me feel like I’m in the middle of fucking world war II. I really don’t know whos idea it was to make fireworks legal. Whoever it was, is an idiot.
I went shopping today. It was lovely. I bought the absolute cutest shorts from pac sun. I hate that store, because they always have cute shit that I can’t afford. These shorts were one of these products… but I couldn’t pass them up. Love love love love. I also bought 3 shirts a pair of shorts, a pair of capris and a pair of… short capris? I don’t know, but they are cute.
I got home from the mall around 5:30. I’ve been watching sex and the city and going through all of my clothes since then. I really need a closet. I think I’m going to try and buy a ‘wardrobe’. My parents might possibly kill me when I tell them I need this, since I knocked out my closet to put my desk there… BUT whatever. I’ll tell them it’ll help me keep my room clean. I’ve used that for every new thing I’ve wanted. It’s starting to stop working. Hmpf.
I miss dane, I wish he didn’t have to go to rehab… but it’s all for the better. The good really does way out the bad. Kinda bitter-sweet sorta thing.
|
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| rest in peace lil shit |
September 16, 2006 |
i broke my piece last night. shit dude i took care of that thing for over a year.
im just upset. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| are we fucking 12?! |
August 23, 2006 |
WELL, tonight I got fucked in the face with a boat load of the biggest bullshit drama.
I don't understand what sick kind of fucking amusement people get from telling people the shit other people say. EVEN WORSE, telling people shit that people 'said' when it was never even said(that was ridiculously confusing). but seriously, if somebody has enough trust in you to tell you how they really feel about a situation, show some fucking respect and keep your god damn mouth shut.
I will admit, I talk shit on people. I say bad things about people that I'd rather not say to their face. But I only say it to people I can trust(obviously, it's not always rightful trusting) so I can vent about shit and calm myself down. Otherwise, I'll take it out on the person I'm irriated with and it gets bad. Like, when I'm pissed... I am PISSED. I don't give a fuck what you have to say when I'm mad, it gets unreasonable. So yeah, I try to avoid situations like that... and I get fucked.
You've gotta watch out for your own back because there's very few people thatll have you covered. Alicias seriously the only person I trust anymore...
I hate everybody.
if you took every stupid mother fucker on this earth
and stranded me on an island with them,
that would describe how i feel right now. |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Good? |
August 18, 2006 |
I think I'm happy. Or at least content. I know I don't sound enthusiastic about it, but I'm for real. I took a, uhm, test... today. Adn I passed. It was weird, kind of a reality slap. I'm growing up and worrying about things I didn't even think about a year ago. Its all good though. I'm good. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| CONSPIRACY |
August 5, 2006 |
There's a conspiracy against me, it's really got to stop. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Oh no |
August 3, 2006 |
Feeling: sad
everybody hates me.
oh no, this is so sad. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Im an idiot. |
July 28, 2006 |
Why can't I just type in my mood? I'm so sick of starting off my entries by saying that. But every fuckin time i get all caught up in what mood I am. Cause i look at the 'current mood' and i sit here and i think about it. Finally I'll come up with the perfect Word to fit my mood, and its not even there.
Fuck, I don't even think my mood shows up on my page. I'll probably never be able to recover what I was thinking about when I read these.
I'm an idiot.
The last time I was thinking that, I was walking back to Jens house from fucking warrendale-after a night of passing out in a cemetary. Yeah, weird.
so yeah, I just checked... All my music and mood settings just erase themselves apparently.I'm glad I've wasted so much time. Sweet, I'm an idiot.
I left my phone at ryans house. I'm an idiot.
Anyways, I was looking at myself and what a mess I am. My outfits kinda scream, hey its summer, im doin drugs again. Did I forget how to dress myself? Actually, I think I just forgot to care.
Today in the car we were talking about how summer flew by. I have no clue what the fuck I've been doing the past 2 months. It's cool though, as far as I'm concerned its been good. I just wish my parents weren't as gay about me staying out on weekdays. That's fucking up a lot of shit. BUT, fuck the bad things. All they'll do is bring you down.
Free meal at eat n park today because my chicken was not cooked at all. Seriously, the benefits of that situation weigh out the disgustingness of it. I'm always up for free food.
Tonights been nice though, I've been rambling on long enough. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
July 24, 2006 |
fuck junk fuck junk fuck junk! |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| krannnnn! |
July 21, 2006 |
so i hung out with karen and alicia today. yayayay good times! i love it.
i woke up at 6 in the morning to go meet alicias friend down at the pittsburgh project.
6 oclock is a very early time to be awake at.
i do not like it.
im beat |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| summers good |
July 19, 2006 |
Ive been happy lately. Busy too. But the kind of busy I like. You know, hanging out and lots of plans. Well, actually I never have plans, lots of things have just been working out.
Last night I went over to krohs house and it was probably the nicest night I've had in a while. His moms out of town so we get over there and his neighbor was watching him or whatever. BUT his neighbor is cool as hell. Hes probably like 45? and hes from pakistan? afghanistan? one of those places. We all just kinda sat around and talked then when I was in the kitchen KC came in and was like 'dude were smoking a bowl with al'
WHAT?!
so we smoked a few bowls and a few bongs with this neighbor/babysitter and had fun. It was so good though because if it was an open house with no adults there... those kids get so retarded. Al just being there kept everything chill and under control. Kroh ate about 8 grams of mushrooms. He was talking to Al about it and shit and then like real late in the night krohs like 'al... you dont care that im tripping do you?' ahahaha, i love him
oh yeah! so ive been wanting to gage my ears for a long long time... and ive bought about 10 different gages, but i can never get them in. then some guy at the stand in the mall did them for me :). yayay |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| I guess I'm not too good at this |
July 16, 2006 |
yeah so, I really do not update this thing that much. There hasn't been too much going on I guess though.
Last night, me and Jay broke into pats house. We needed some substances so we woke him up. He got very pissed and yelled at me. So we got some food and left. It was a fruitless walk, but we tried.
I have to work today at 6 til 10. Only 4 hours, but it really sucks. I hate staying til close. Cause then you have to wait for everyone left in the store to pay... at the same fucking time. They should close the registers at 10 no matter what. That'd be nice.
Last night pat had an open house-ish. Kids are so fucking obnoxious. I hate big groups of things. hate hate hate it. Billy oconner is annoying as fuck. I'm not going to rant about this shit now.
I love ryan kroh!
ahaha who woulda thought |
| (1 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
|
July 12, 2006 |
I don't like people, I really don't. |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| Conneaut tomorrow |
July 7, 2006 |
SOOO conneauts tomorrow!! yayay im very very excited
julie came over last night. Phone sex with rob. Well, rob having phone sex to us, us putting him on mute, and laughing our asses off.
truely, the funniest thing ever |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| They're your fucking parents, but whos not doing shit cause |
July 2, 2006 |
Yeah so I'm in a pretty fucking bad mood right now.
I made plans with kirsten last night and today and I've been set on that. But then alicia wont have a ride home so now kirstens going there and I'm not doing shit. Alicia said 'its not my fault my parents are going crazy on me' then puts up an away message that says 'what ev'.
Seriously though, its not my fucking fault either that her parents are crazy... But yet, she expects me to be okay with the fact that I'm not doing anything tonight because of it? No, thats bullshit. That just really fucking bothers me. If it were my parents being bitches, I'd just say 'whatever, my parents are assholes... I can't do anything tonight.' but with Alicia. She thinks its right to rearrange plans because of them. That's just fucking dumb.
Bad mood bad mood bad mood.
|
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| boo for bored |
June 30, 2006 |
Hm hm hm. I'm sick of work. It really fucks up my days. I never go out after work because of rides. I could get a ride somewhere, but no rides home. And I can't sleep over anywhere because I have to work again in the morning.
I need to be able to fucking drive. Gah.
So Tom said something to me the other day about me wanting to get on george. I'm thinking that he discussed this with george because george has been acting weird lately. Seriously, these situations are soo fucking awkward. There's no way you can just be like 'i dont like you'. Because even if you did, that's what you would say. Awkward awkward awkward. Fuckin A, I don't get why everybody finds it so hard to believe that girls and guys CAN just be friends.
I lost so much weight since last summer. Karli just sent me a picture and fuck was I fat. It's so nice though because I haven't done anything to lose weight. It was just like, 'hey, the worlds fucked with you enough... heres a present'
...what?!
Chris is a dick. He's making karli and alicia pay him 40 dollars to pick them up from conneaut. Note to self: he truly is a dick, don't EVER let yourself be fooled.
YAY FOR CONNEAUT
shit am i excited.
7 days!
shit shit shit im so fuckin pumped!
It's sweet that I'm out of my awkward stage. Like the past few years when I took friends up with me, I didn't like meeting guys because I thought theyd think I was really ugly and shit. But now I don't even fucking care. God were gonna get so fucking retarded!
eeeeeek! |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| zombie rant |
June 28, 2006 |
Listening to: the hives - because i wanna
Well I'm pretty fucking annoyed. For multiple reasons. I also feel like a zombie.
I took a sleeping pill around 9 because I wasn't going to be doing anything tonight so I just wanted to sleep. I didn't take it into consideration that I am not ready to sleep because my sleeping schedule is non-existant. Basically, a bad idea.
Conneaut is pissing me off. Me kirsten and alicia were talking about plans for if karli couldn't get a ride home. Note the IF. Alicia took matters into her own hands to inform karli of these plans. These plans go against her favor. Also, these plans require talking to the already pissed off parents. It just really fucking annoyed me that she took it as her responsibilty when I'm the one who needs to deal with shit. She has no right to fucking control who goes and when because it's my fucking trip.
fuck fuck fuck.
I know I'll get over it in a little bit, if Alicia can take my point that she's fucking dumb.
I resent that statement.
but I still don't take it back.
When I get pissed, I have reason to be pissed. For the most part. I'm a very realistic person... so it's kinda fucked up that I get pissed a lot. It just so happens that there's a lot of shit to get pissed off when it comes to people. They're all fucking idiots.
Including myself, but I can deal with that... since I'm me and all. There's no avoiding it.
Either I'm driving myself insane, or it really is other people.
That's the problem with being insane. Insane people never think they're insane, so there really is no way to tell if you're being unreasonable if you're insane.
That's daves problem. But there's not enough room on the website for THAT story. Shit, theres not enough room on the internet for it either.
(crrrraaaazzzyyy)
Gangsters freak me out. In an okay kind of way.
Hah. hahah.
Oh no.
My mother decided to have an episode today about me saying fuck. "The f word will not be used in this house." That's the creepy kind of statement that typical, weird, conservative moms make. It was very awkward to deal with. It made me feel like a dog being scolded. And that's just unacceptable to be expected to feel that way. Completely unreasonable. How the fuck are you supposed to react to a situation like that? |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| I'm not good with people, I'm really not |
June 27, 2006 |
I have a problem. I can't be around a person for more than 2 days without getting all fucking moody. I've always been that way. Conneauts' coming up in about a weekish. Karli and Alicia are coming. I've taken both of them other years and I got so god damn irritated every year. Hopefully since there's 3 of us everything will be straight, but I'm kind of worried. Especially since I haven't seen Karli for a while... her being in Buffalo and all... it'll just be good to get to hang out with her again.
I really need a car. And a license. It's really becoming a downer on my social and work life.
First real Kmart paycheck- 184 dollars. Exciting, since my idea of a high paycheck was 50 dollars at dollar wave.
Erikas in town, I really want to hang out with her. She's leaving friday and I have to work thursday and friday... so tomorrows really the last day we can chill. It's all very iffy.
I hate everyone.
Not really, but why not? |
| (0 comments) | TRIP TO THE MOON |
|
| When I think summer, I think warmth |
June 24, 2006 |
Listening to: mc5 - ramblin rose
BUT YET, its summer. and I am very fucking cold. Explain this shit to me, really... I don't understand.
So, I've got a job at Kmart. I figure this is an important thing. I take that back, that was the most pointless statement. Truly, it had no point what so ever.
Jamie Kennedy is a funny man.
Ryan Kroh on the other hand is a fucking idiot. | | | |
