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more riting! |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
Listening to: Mariah Carey - Against all odds
Feeling: bleh
god this music is depressing, and horribly meaningful dammit. westlife hav ruined it bugger them.
english was ok actually, we got 2 play wiv laptops hehe. and then we just watched a video of someone hu wanted it 2 rain (?) in geography.
iv finished all my belgian chocolate :(
i was thinking erlia, as u do @ bus stops, how much of my opinions of things depend on addiction. 4 example, i wouldnt b pissed off if i found that my friend had smoked a fag, but i would b if i found out they wer addicted, and the same with drugs, SH/SI. hmmm, not very interesting thought processes, cos they kinda stopped there, cept i thought of examples n stuff. maybe im just tryin 2 get myself out of being hypocritical, but hey, twas just a thought.
:s my mother just came in n sed she was gettin worried bout the fact that i always minimize t screen wen she comes in :s o wel.
oh yeh, iv just discovered that none of u can c my diary like i can, cos im using a different font that ive downloaded from t net. tis called evanescent n is t evanescence font if ur remotely interested. just 2 let u no, tis alot cooler wiv t rite font.
i dont no wot 2 say tumtetumtetum.
please comment cos im bored n tisnt nice ewn no1 comments cos u havent ritten nefin interestin
l8rz
susie
xHUGx
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| 247 hit(s) |
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I've moved |
August 11th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
|
thank you sitdiary, you have served me well for over two years.
unfortunately, you're a bit of a pain in the arse in terms of actually loading pages. and theres stuff on here i'd rather leave behind.
susieis.blogspot.com
visit me sometime.
bye. |
| 79 hit(s) |
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Lovely |
March 11th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
Life is good right now.
Tech is over.
Drama was fantastic.
Ditto english results.
And today, i can sit and relax, happy in the knowledge that i'm not supposed to be doing anything else.
I#m going out for a walk with Ami and Georgia this afternoon. I love walking. I was going to go out by myself, then they called me. It'l be cool :)
Too much has happened since my last entry. Its been over a month. Its quite apalling. Quite a few times i've written half an entry, then just not bohtered finishing or posting it.
I just get so much more done when theres nothing i have to do.
Smile people.
The stress always ends at some point.
xxx |
| 67 hit(s) |
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Jack all |
January 20th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
I have done absolutely nothing today.
I feel like i should care about that or make some effort to not do nothing in the future.
But i know thats not going to happen.
Today, i lay on the sofa. My sister bought me lunch. I put it in the microwave. I watched television. I realised that i had 5 hours til cafe 42 and i should really bother to have a bath and get out of my pyjamas.
As a result, i havent worn my sling for the last 5 hours. Or taken any pain killers for the last 24. Would you look at that. They do help.
I'm going to go straighten my hair and stop boring myself with pointless entreis. |
| 78 hit(s) |
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Upside down |
January 12th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Jack Johnson
Feeling: lustful
Yesterday i had my first experience of a hospital. I guess I've just had an oddly lucky and healthy little life. I've never broken anything, never thought iI'd broken anything. In fact, the most serious thing that i've had is tonsilitis. And lets face it, thats hardly an A&E situation.
But yesterday, i dislocated my shoulder. Its quite amusing, since i saw a thing on TV where a guy dislocated his shoulder and had to have it put back in, i've always thought about dislocations way more than breaking something. If i broke my arm, i think i'd be quite surprised, but for some reason, i wasnt partiularly surprised about my shoulder.
In terms of the injury iself, that too was fairly amusing. The experience of being able to feel the gap between your shoulder and your arm is one which i think everyone should have. Cos it's just so gross and so interesting and just a very odd but very cool reminder of how the human body is made up, and how easy it is for something to just pop out. I was also amusingly lopsided for a fair few hours, but only I noticed it, cos i know what i'm supposed to look like, and i know when my arm is hanging down 3 inches lower than it should be.
One thing i keep getting asked: Was it painful. In short - yes. A horrible consistent aching pain all the way down my arm, kinda like a cramp actually in my shoulder, occasional twinges of bloody agony, and then just insane discomfort. Knowing that your arm is not where it's supposed to be = not fun. Thats another thing you wouldnt think you'd notice; all the time, you actually feel how close your limbs are in relation to the rest of your body. The thing that frustrated me most was feeling my arm much closer to my body than its supposed to be, and not being able to move it back to where it's supposed to be. After a few hours, i got used to the pain, and it was just annoying.
People don't give enough credit to the NHS. The hospital was actually great. I had to wait about an hour in A&E, but thats just because right before i was about to be called in, an ambulance came in with a little person. Which is fair enough. After that, i went to see the pediatric assessment nurse, she was lovely. I told her i thought it was dislocated, she said, 'you know, i think you might be right' and called in a proper doctor man who took one poke at me and agreed. Normally, after seeing the assessment lady, i would have had to go back out and sit in A&E waiting to be seen by the doctor. But he came straight in to the assessment room, and prescribed me some Oromorph. Lots of it. Which almost completely took away the pain. Then i went through to Xray, waited about half an hour, it lasted about 2 minutes. When i got back to A&E, nice doctor man had already seen my Xray and was on the phone to an orthapedic surgeon to come sort me out. And we got our own little room to sit in with a dolphin on the wall. It was a cool place.
My orthapedic consult was called Andy. I liked Andy. He was veery sweet. And rather yummy. And he told me that they were going to put me under a general anesthetic to pop my shoulder back in. Cos it's easier and less painfull that way. They sorted me out a bed in the pediatric ward, in a room all of my own again, with an awesome TV internet phone thing going on. Then they took me pretty much straight up to theatre. I got my general, which was veery amusing, wouldnt mind another one of those. You go aaall tingly and woozy, then the next thing you know, you're being woken up, and youre all fixed :)
I then had to lie around in the ward for 4 hours, just in case. I had some mushroom and leek pasta which was very yummy, and even more yummy in the knowledge that my new friend martin the nurse-I-think wanted it, and i'd just taken the last portion. Hehe.
Anyway. So yes, the hospital was really good. I saw the assesment nurse at about 2.15, and i was in theatre by 4.15. And everyone was so lovely. We're so bloody lucky to have an NHS, and people should stop complaining about it.
Granted, it probably wouldnt have been such a great experience if i wasnt still technically a child. Primarily because they wouldnt have given me a general, they would have just popped it back in then and there. Also because there was a 4 hour wait for the adult triage nurse. And the pediatric ward was immense, it was all colourful and awesome, and all the people were really cool. I liked them alot. So yes, if you're ever planning to dislocate your shoulder, do it before you're 16.
As for now, i have to 'rest' for a few days. Basically, although my shoulder is back where it should be, all the muscles and ligaments around it have been streched and bruised and weakened. So the slightest thing could easily pop it back out again, which is a litte disconcerting. In fact, now i've done it once, the cances of me doing it again in general are significantly increased. Basically i just have to be careful for the rest of my life. For now, i'm in a sling for 3 weeks, and getting some phsyio soon to sort it out. No PE for 3 weeks, and i just have to be uber careful. Its not painful unless i move it, but that could be somthing to do with the regular painkillers i'm taking.
And i've just realised that i've been holding my shoulder in the wrong position for the last hour that ive been on this computer. So i should end this uber long rather boring entry here. |
| 79 hit(s) |
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Cuddle |
December 31st, 2006 @ 12:00am |
'You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone'
Tracy Chapman - Fast Car. Class song. Thanks to Shmami and Georgia, my jamming buddies (NOT band members :P) for introducing it to me.
As the 'Current Mood' so pleasingly states, I'm feeling oddly comfortable at the moment. Comfortable, not in a physical sense, because, to be honest, i hate this chair. But comfortable in a general all round 'emotional' way. Using the term emotional very loosely there, because i couldnt really think of a better word to fit in. And to be honest, i'm not entirely sure what i'm trying to say by it either.
Comfortable in my life, and the way its going. Comfortable in the way relationships with different people are changing. All i'm hoping is that while i'm sitting here, taking it as it comes, allowing life to live tiself for me, that these changing relationships are changing for the better, and chaning in a way that will keep me sitting so comfortably for as long as i know them.
'It is a well known and popular fact that things are not always as they seem'
Sadly, no revelations about the true intelligence of human beings, and certainly no singing dolphins are going to follow that statement this time. Instead, i am going to get off the computer and go to church. Not because i am super dedicated and spend all my time at church, but because it is sunday and i am late. Oops.
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You've got me sewn |
December 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: The Feeling - Sewn
Feeling: groggy
I hardly got any sleep last night. I got back from the party and of course grandpa was staying in my room, and when i got into lizzies room, there was crap all over the bed. So i slept on the floor.
In terms of the party itself, parts of it were great. Others were terrible. To start off with, itwas great fun, everyone was dancing, having a good time. About an hour into the party, Twiggy came over to me, already smashed. And i didnt want to be pissed off about it, but i guess it just made me realise what the rest of the night was going to be like.
Gradually more and more people got pretty much pissed out of their heads. And i still felt nothing from the 5 drinks and 3 shots i'd had. So basically the rest of the night consisted of hearing Rosie apologise at me. Constantly. Trying to keep a paralytic Rudi conscious. Being scared shitless by Gemma and Zoe. Comforting those who were also scared shitless and incapabe of doing anything. And generally having a go at keeping everyone happy.
By the end of the night, a lot of people had sobered up, at least a bit. Which fortunately meant there were a couple more people to keep me sane and help out with the drunk people.
I think i'm going to make sure i'm never around that lot and alcohol again. I dont see why my night should have to be ruined, just because i'm apparently the only one who can handle their drink.
Before the party, i was talking with zoe. She was worried that people were going to get smashed. I told her that that wouldnt happen. Cos of course we're all sensible people who arent out to get pissed, but just to have a good time. And i said that if one person looked like they had had too much, other people around them would stop them drinking more. And i really belived myself. I trusted my friends not to be so fucking stupid. I trusted that if they knew they were a lightweight, they would pace themselves; that if they knew they cant hold their drink, they would ask someone to watch out for them; that if they hadnt eaten the entire fucking day, they wouldnt immediately run to the shots.
I just thought that maybe my friends wouldnt be the typical example of everything i hate about teenagers. With people not having a clue what theyr doing, people thinking its cool, the hostesses being more out of it than anyone else, people helping themselves to more drinks than they can handle, and nobody batting an eyelid, people throwing up all over the place.
Mike was incredible. Truly. And people had better bloody be grateful to him. There i was, desperate to even remotely feel the slightest bit tipsy, just to make it all seem a bit easier; and he didnt drink all night. I honestly dont know what i would have done without him there. I think we both kinda kept each other going.
Being around him seems like a bit of a self-destructive cycle. Its all great when i'm there, and it makes me happy just knowing he's there. But all these stupid feelings which i thought i'd got rid of dont seem so stupid anymore. And i'm relentlessly reminded of how much i still like him. Which then means that i can't get him out of my head, and i want to see him more.
And stupidly, however crap everything going on at the party was. I would give anything to be back there with him now... |
| 227 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
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We be jammin' |
December 10th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
I have a tech deadline tomorrow, and theres not even any point me trying to make it, i should just welcome the 5 detentions and be done with it.
This weekend's been nice. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, just lay on the sofa, literally, all day. it was great. 1st time i'd done that in ages. today was good too. church in the morning, as per ususal. then a bit of church orchestra, always a giggle. Then me ami n georgia had a lil jamming session thang. it was fun. and seeing as i havent touched a bass in about a year, and even when i did, it was just me messing around on my sisters, i think i did surprisingly well. its probably helpful that almost all the songs we played consisted of G E A and D basslines, which would be the 4 strings of the bass...
I'm so uber tired recently, its not even funny. I spend too much time talking to people online, when i really should just go to bed. But sometimes, people are worth it, dont ya think?
I made my A level choices the other day. Biology Chemistry Theatre studies and German. I also made a decision that my father is never coming to an options evening type event with me ever again. I also feel guilty for not taking english after mr pattrick gave me a very sad look when i told him i wasnt planning on it.
I feel like i should go and do something productive. Maybe i will. Or maybe i'l sleep...
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| 89 hit(s) |
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Butterflies |
December 2nd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Spin Doctors - Two Princes
Feeling: bashful
I just got back from cafe42. i Swear that place is bad for me. But i know i'm gonne be down there every other week. I tell myself that i'm not bothered about luke, and that whatever happens happens and i'm not gonna go making a prat of myself to try and change that. But then i see him and hes so fit and so sweet and so funny. and i just forget all about that. And then he plays the bass and i just forget about the rest of the world. i cant believe someone can be that insanely talented. he's amazing.
he's not gonna be at dyd tomorrow, which is sad. but oh well. I'l see him in two weeks i guess. by which time i'l have forgotten about him again and stopped caring and be back too saying 'nah, i'm really not that bothered'. I see a vicious circle looming nearby.
it was the lighting up brentwood thing today. i got to look like a bit of a prat and do a drama. dressed as mary. truly lovely. ah well. it was fun i guess.
last night was the 1st full nights sleep ive had in weeks. for once i didnt get woken up by an alarm. i swear hell is full of alarms, and you never sleep but are just constantly being woken up as if you havent had enough sleep. eurgh.
I've got silly amounts of tech work going on atm. or more accurately not going on, which is the problem really.
I dont know what else i have to talk about. my head is too fuzzy. i need sleep. or maybe luke. |
| 89 hit(s) |
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They'll never understand |
November 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: The Killers - Hey Charlie
Feeling: unhappy
Well, mocks are over.
Yay.
I guess.
I did kinda enjoy the freedom and the lie-ins. somehow made the hideous exams and lack of revision worth it to some extent.
So many people have access to this site nowadays. Makes me think back to the old days when i could write anything, and not be worried about who was reading it. The thing is, they're not even people i wouldnt want reading it. Its just a bit weird.
Its funny how you find yourself caring about those people in your life who you thought would never be very significant.
And eventually, you find yourself wanting to see them more and more. They're not just in the background anymore, they are the front of your mind, all the bloody time.
And you dont necessarily 'like them like that', but you do love them, more than you would ever have thought you would. And it starts to hurt when you see them in the arms of someone they dont love even half as much as you love them...
Maybe thats the point where you're supposed to back out. Stop it before it gets out of hand. Or something.
But it's not that easy. Cos just talking to them makes you happier than youve been in a long time. And they have that odd ability to make you feel special, in a way that others have to try bloody hard to acheive.
And its pretty blindingly obvious that i'm talking about one particular person. And its pretty blindingly obvious that he's gonna end up reading this, and i'm going to look like a complete twazzock.
But i think, on some level, he already knows...
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| Entry List |
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more riting!
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I've moved
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Long Time No See
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Lovely
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Jack all
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Upside down
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Cuddle
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Hands Open
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You've got me sewn
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We be jammin'
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One name
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Butterflies
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They'll never understand
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The beginning and the end
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Cyclic quad
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Get me a life
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Watch the pixies dance
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It's all coming back to me now
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Maybe
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Not bad enough to be bad, not...
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'No one could ever replace...
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Oooh, Something to talk about
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Too hard to find words for
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Year 10
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I am Jacks inflamed sense of...
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And we sing
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Pride and Prejudice
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Teach myself some disregard
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Jealousy
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Shooting stars
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The shadow proves the sunshine
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Sometimes I give myself the...
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Take your daughter to work day
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It scares me how much i miss...
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Ohne Dich ist alles doof
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Miss Deutschland 06
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Tornado in a bottle
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Never mind the bollocks
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Above and beyond understanding
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Good times
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Made to be broken
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Shame
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It was only a kiss
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First kisses
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Sickness is all around me
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Bricks of sand
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Could be better, could be...
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Spontaneous Combustion
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Feelin' Groovy
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Joy and happiness on toast
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Smile like you mean it
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Shimmy and a shake
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Bum the world
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Rake it all up
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Self and Society
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Acoustic love
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Moving on up
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Get over it
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All I want for Christmas is...
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Sucking on safety pins
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Get me through
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When you think you've had too...
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Let me out
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Bourbon biscuits
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All the luck in the world
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Do you have a problem with...
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Rollercoaster
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Step by step
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All caught up
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Journey Thoughts
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A sacrifice of a broken heart
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Just another teen entry
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Light the shadows
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Pull down your sleeves and...
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If only
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One week over
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I love phone calls
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I'll become even more...
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i'm bored with lyric titles
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It just won't fade away
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Whats the point now?
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Nobody left in this world
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A love that will carry them
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Written by the hands of God
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Here comes the rain again
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Never said a word
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I bleed
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Who will be there to take my...
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Drain the pressure from the...
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Is this real enough for you?
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Can you forget the world that...
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Not real life
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In the shadows
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Fall into your abounding grace
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Isnt something missing?
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I've been looking in the...
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Unti my skin is ripped to...
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I run to you, call out your...
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Run away with my heart
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All i want to do is be more...
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No, I must be dreaming
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I no the difference
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My only hope, my only peace,...
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Too small to matter
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Could you make it on your own?
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They'l never see, i'll never...
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Still Trying
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Hard as I try
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'FUCKING HELL THIS RIDE IS...
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Jump
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Time of your life
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complainging prophets....and...
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42
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ow
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meh
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poemy woemy
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anniversary
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BIRTHDAY!!!
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song
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hehehehe rooooom!
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yay decorating *sarcastic...
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where the fucks my fucking...
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bonketybonk
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hahaha
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Back in my head
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siy
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yay
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wibble
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darn air conditioning
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take my tears...
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no internet :(
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an entry cos gemma wanted 1
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life sux
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Why?
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lyrics
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weve never been so alone...
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essays bah
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flibbertygibbert
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NO BRACE :D
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2nd day back
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resolutions
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fucking hell
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pissed
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CHRISTMAS!!!
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shit
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Christmas yay
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HOLIDAY!!!
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English, with becky...then...
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tumtetum
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COLD!
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Happy Bday Chris
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grrr
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Cold
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school, woohoo
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Still bloody ill
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ill agen :(
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ill :(
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Scary
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Fuck him
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Hi there!
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| 160 post(s) |
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