I never thought that my parents splitting would affect me as much as it has. It's not that I wish they were back together, because I don't. It's all the stuff that comes with it. The court dates, the fighting, the tears, the suffering, the expectation that we'll pick sides, the propaganda, the brain washing...the list goes on. It's so hard to be in the middle of this. I feel like a rag doll being pulled at both ends.

Everyone in this house shuns me. They don't understand me at all. None of them know what University is like. They don't know what it can do to you. None of them know what the divorce has done to me mentally, albeit I don't know what it's done to them, how they're coping. I'm expected to pay for everything. Dad's to bitter to help out with mothers day, to broke to help with birthdays, and mom has three children to care for with out any help from my dad. She can't afford to put food in our mouths half the time. I have to pay for Mothers day, Fathers day, Birthdays, and the transportation. I'm a full time student with a dead end minimum wage job. I'm lucky to have any money. I can't afford an expensive dinner for my dad but my brother and sister almost had my head when I told them no. I've been close to being kicked out of my house over this issue.

Why am I the only one who has to do this? My sister has a job. She can spare twenty fucking dollars. Besides I'm a twenty year old University student. My biggest worry should be who I'm going out with tonight, or what shoes match that dress...

I feel isolated. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Just now I was trying to hold back tears talking to my sister. She scoffed and told my brother i was doing it for attention. All I wanted was for some one to listen. I'm tired of listening to others I just want to be heard.

I'm not happy, I'm not optimistic, I'm not calm or collected. I'm sad, my world is falling apart at the seams and I'm so stressed out I'm starting to have serious heath issues.

But no one cares right? I'm stuck having to do this on my own.

Ahhhhh Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben. What a tangled web we weave my friend.

You've now had the pleasure of meeting my acquaintance. This was two, maybe three weeks ago, tops. Since then you've managed to stomp, spit on, and maim my best friends heart. AGAIN. Once again, you lead her into trusting you. SHE TRUSTED YOU. You understand what that means Ben? Trust? Hm?

You then asked her out. Smooth move my friend. You had us all stumped with that one. No one knew what your true motives were, but we didn't trust it.

Few days later you called it off, oh yes ass hole. You. Called. It. Off. Said you missed her. Your ugly fat fucking troll. The one who 'dumped you' the one who 'had another man'. Great fucking job Fuck Wad. Theres strike Two. You reached in grabbed her heart and then tossed it like garbage. Then, as if that wasn't enough, you kept calling her. You gave her cell number your troll. Troll started harassing her via text message. Telling her everything you fuckwads were doing. And then you denied it. You fucking DENIED it. GUESS WHAT FUCK WAD SHE DIDN'T FORWARD YOU THE LAST MESSAGE. Caught red handed ass hole. Fucking red handed. YOU ALLOWED THE TROLL TO HARASS SOME ONE. GUESS WHAT. THATS ILLEGAL. You're goddamned lucky she didn't call the cops. I would have. Harassment is a serious offense. ESPECIALLY when the victim is innocent. Theres strike Three, you're out Fuck Wad.

Heres my question to you Fuck Wad, you don't mind if I call you Fuck Wad do you? Here's my question; What the fuck did she do to you? Hm? What, horrible god forasken thing did she do to you for you to torture her this way? What you just bully people for fun? Well guess what Fuck wad, I hate bullies, and I hate baseball caps even more.

Watch your back Ben the Fuck Wad Harrison. Because if I ever see your ugly goddamned mug again, I'm going to introduce it to the pavement.

I hope you have a nice life with Fat Ugly Troll Face. I hope she's a man beater.

Love always, your new worst nightmere,

-Kim

P.S. I'm not a singer ass hole, I'm a fucking actor.

Dear Ben,

YOU SUCK.

But on top of that, I think you're a self centred controlling ass hole, who likes to toy with the hearts and lives of others for your own gain and here is why:

You're dating an ugly troll who likes to have sex with you. You claim shes controlling and bitchy, but yet you stay with her. Why?

Then you go behind Troll face the Crazies back, and toy with the heart of a woman who happens to be my best friend.

TWICE.

And both times you turned around after leading her on, and smash her heart into the ground with your big fat ugly foot (this is how I imagine your feet look.)

MISTAKE PAL. BIG MISTAKE.

You can't do that, jerkwad. You cannot continually ask some one if you should cheat on your troll (while she continually says no) and then pretty well force yourself on her. You can't keep trying to talk to her when she tells you to fuck off, and then string her along knowing full well, she is totally and completely into you, and then turn around the next day and tell her that its wrong and that she shouldn't wait around for you anymore.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

That  is not fair, to her, or to you, or to that troll no one likes.

Ben, you ain't even going to read this, but mark my words, Next time I see you in the street, Sam, Christine Wilson and I are going to beat the shit out of you and your crappy baseball hat, and your stupid fucking side burns. We're going to beat you to a pulp. Why? Because no one breaks Julia's heart TWICE and fucking gets away with it.

You're a stupid piece of shit and I wish you an eternity with your troll.

Have a nice day 

Love, Kim.

Today is 12 of 12. Again. The first of the year!

Come along on a boreing day in the life of a university student.

English 1b taking notes, or at least, attempting to.

TIM HORTONS. Breakfast of champions.

Waiting to go to my Academic Writing class, waiting for a Wheezy Waiter video to finish loading.

I'm waiting, while I'm waiting.

Mind fuck I know.

This is some graffitti I found in the bathroom stall I was in. In case you can't read it it says "Suck my Vegina" after which some one drew an arrow and corrected the incorrect spelling od "Vagina". I lol'd.

I was alone in the washroom so it was okay that I laughed out loud. And I definately did.

Going home. Good bye University of Winnipeg...untill Thursday that is.

I bought my mom a purple hoodie, becasue they had none of the shirt she wanted. She was pretty stoked.

Washin' the dishes.

I got myself a new hoodie, because the blue one fits funny.

The contents of my purse all over my bed.

I was looking for my iPod.

I got some sweat pants. They're uber comfy.

I remembered that I slept in today and spilled all my makeup out on the floor in a rush to get ready...so I had to clean it up.

Thats the rad refelction of my super cool Olympic slippers. That guys name is Miga. He's fucking adoreable.

And now I am back in my bed, all comfy and warm and ready to go to sleep.

G' night I guess.

-- Suck my vegina.

I dislike when computers freak out.

Of course I want to restore. If I don't my computer will keep crashing.

Stupid.

At least its not a virus I guess.

I had a relaxing day today, I sorted out some of my loan stuff, and it was rather quick and painless which was nice. The book my grandma's boyfriend Tony said he would mail to me came in the mail today also. Its an art guide from the Amsterdam museum. Its pretty rad.

My grandma told me to not rush in mailing it back, so she probably wont get it back for at least a few years.

At least.

School start tomorrow again, and I'm not really looking forward to it, but this loan stuff is all dealt with so its not like I'm frekaing out about anything. School is just a drag. What else is new?

--Cool, Calm, Collected.