thats right =] and i am the happiest person in the world. its funny how things work, i never ever thought in my life i would be happy agian after everything thats happened.
its great. i love it so much. i just want to scream and tell the whole wide world. i dont want anything to ruin this feeling ever.
hey yeah the last entry was sadd and if you read it well amber is doin much better now. shes not completly over it but shes gettin there.
here is a pic of me and my b/f timmy♥
he is such a sweetheart today was our 1 month.
things have been so better lately. everything i just lookin up and i am the happiest ive ever been. it feels so great. i love it.
so yeah i havent been on this thing in forever. im never home or online so its sorta hard to keep this updated so-yeah
this past week has been a really hard week for everyone. i missed school today to go to a funeral. =[ my good friend out here, Amber was 7 months pregnant, but she went into labor early because the baby died. it was 1 pound 3 ounces and 12 inches long, they named it Madeline. idk what to do, i feel so bad for her. she was so excited about having this baby. she would pass the daycare at school and be like "my baby will be in there soon!" me and her n everybody would kid around saying that we all had an affair with her and that the baby was all of ours. We all said that the baby was going to have Ambers nose and Amber got to hold it and it did. =[
im fuckin heartbroken and fuckin depressed and pissed off.
but for once i dont care.
im tired of it.
i havent written in this thing in like almost a month its crazy. but i probably will be writing in it more often now because thats right i am grounded. meaning no going anywhere except school and the bitch took my phone away.
i cant wait to move back to my moms. i have been calling her everynight, she has been like my savior. i never thought the day would come where i would rather live with the asshole then my dad. but damn, my dad aint mean or anything he is just straight up ANNOYING. and he stresses me out so bad, sometimes it feels like he wants me to fail because thats all he ever talks about is me not succeeding and blah blah blah. everytime he tells me that i just call up my mom.
and i dont know what to do about mikey anymore he is so confusing. i hate how i love that boy so much
and then DANNY was flirting with me really badly today and i want that kids body so bad. everytime i see him, i just want to bang him more and more. damn.
...His lips are like vodka
&& i want to get wasted
i dont know how to put how i am feeling in words. and i woud normally put it into a song but i cant seem to find one that fits.
this is like partly what i am feeling..
Did I ever tell you that I really love you and I think about you all day? I really miss you and wish I could kiss you, but why are you so far away? Since you've been gone, I've thought over and over about you inside my head and where I went wrong, where I went wrong. Every day, I've been thinking a lot about all of the things you'd say since I went away, since I went away... I guess I could call you and ask you "How are you?" but I really don't have much to say... I sit all alone and I stare at the phone and I hope that you're doing ok.
The Ataris Alone in Santa Cruz.
this one also kinda,idk partly..
I'm falling down
And you're not here to break my fall
I shut my eyes when you're around
I hold my breath to kill the sound of your voice
I'm falling down.
And you're not here to break my fall
Thursday-How Long is the Night
i wish i could like express myself in my own words but everytime i try it doesnt come out right.
xxJ a dexG e mxx: aww i feel special
Demoboy315: knowing that i made u feel special just makes my day
sometimes i really miss him
so yea THIS BOY...
he isnt my mikey
but he still owns my heart
he has been there for me, no matter what
he knows how to make me smile and i miss that
he just got out of JDC and he wants to come and see me but he has no way of getting here and uggh i need him right now
What time is it? 9:44
Do you have a name? no .. hehe its jade
Any nicknames? honda (dont ask) jadeypoohh, jadeakisss and some other ones i forget
Do you honestly like any of them? i guess...
How about your birthday? nov 28
And that would make you how old? 16
How old do you wish you were? 21
How old do you act? 2
Names of the people who gave you said life (your parents)? Scott and Heidi
How much do they suck? a lot
how bout your pets? oooh i miss them =[
Got any siblings? 1 bro and another on the way and 2 sisters plus a stepbro + sis
Bet you'd rather just have the pets, huh? no, id be lost without my siblings
Where were you born? southbridge,mass
Place you currently bless with your presence? goshen indiana
Who do you live there with? my dad
What color is your bedroom? some color
Describe your bed to me (for...you know...future reference...*wink*): lmao, idk its a mattress
How do you sleep (on your side, back, stomach, standing up, etc)? however i passout
Do you snore? sometimes
Do you talk in your sleep? no not really
How do YOU know? because im cool like that
What's your school called? goshen high school
What the hell kind of name is that? a name?
What grade are you in? im a junior
Do you actually like any of the subjects taught there? eh, there not bad
There must be a whole lot more that you don't like though: ughhh i HATE math and social studies
Hows the school food taste? pretty fuckin good, thats y i go to school. i love there food
How bout your teachers? don't you just HATE them? blah mr bennett sucks
What's your eye color? blue sometimes green
Glasses/contacts/laser correction? glasses
Current hair color? red sorta
Natural hair color? blonde
Hair texture (curly, straight, wavy, afro)straight
Height? 5'4"
Weight(ish)? idk ive gained i know that
Build (skinny/fat/in-between/body builder/anorexic/bulimic)? i am pleasently plump!
Skin tone (tan, pale, black, ahh shit wheres my sunglasses)? tanish
Who do you look like (mom, dad, grandparents, the dog)? def. my mom. everyone says we look like twins
Ever paint your nails? sometimes
What is your greatest vanity? my hair
Do you like yourself? on occasion
Why/why not? cuz im stupid
Jewelery you wear most/all the time? bracelets
Do you have any piercings? yes
If yes, where are they? ears and soon to be tounge and nose and eyebrow
i think you need more.
Pick a random scar, what'd you do and was it stupid? umm i have a scar on my hand because i went to go stick a fork in the brownies and didnt realize my hand was touching the top of the stove until i felt it lol
Righty or lefty? righty
How about tattoos? got any of those hidden up your sleeve (or, you know, anywhere else)? soon
you disappoint me.
Ever broken any bones? no
How'd you manage that? i didnt
What's your heritage (scottish, italian, german, eunuch, etc)? fuck if i know
Play any instruments? no,not enough of an attention spand to learn
Hey so whats your screenname? BANG x BANG 0,xxjadexgemxx and skittlesnbeerx69
Huh, weird... whats that mean? idk i made them up
Do you like the color black? yep
How about light pink? sure
Now that we've distinguished the goths and the preps...how about the rest of you, whats your favorite color? green
Favorite number? 14
Favorite game? pong all the way
favorite cellphone game? Blackjack
Favorite "haunt" (place to hang out) ambers house, or bobs house.
Favorite store? um the ones you shop in..?
Favorite animal? elephant
Favorite month? november
Favorite season? summer and spring
Favorite holiday? halloween
Favorite food? everything
Favorite non-alcoholic drink? mountain dew
Are you a vegitarian? sorta i dont eat red meat
Vegan? no
Ever tried to be one and had it not work? no not really
What kind of clothes you wear? ummmm the ones in the closet
What are you wearing right now? a shirt and some comfy pants
WHOO! TAKE IT OFF!!!
What's your favorite brand? whatever i buy idc
Favorite clothing store? um wherever i happen to shop
Clothing store(s) that should be burned to the ground and its creators rounded up and shot? abercrombie or american eagle
Do you like going to the mall? hell yea
What size shoe do you wear? 8-9 1/2,
What shoes did you wear today? my flip flops
Which one do you put on first? w/e one i happen to pick up first
Ever had the urge to just rip one of those shoes off and beat someone with it? fuck yea ::cough erica cough cough::
Ever actually done it? yes but not to erica
Whats your favorite kind of movie? comedy or horror
Favorite actor? johnny depp
How bout actress? natalie portman,rachel mcadams
Whats your all-time favorite movie (difficult i know)? idk
Ever had a movie make you cry? the notebook
wuss.
What was the last movie you saw in a theatre? willy wonka
Was it any good? it was effin hilarious
How bout t.v.? what do you like to watch? or are you one of those people that lives under a rock and doesn't watch t.v.? that 70s show and family guy and futurama
Favorite music style? watever i feel like
Favorite band(s)? shinedown
Favorite singer? um idk
Favorite song at the moment? black eyed peas..my humps
Do you have an all-time favorite song? i have a lot
Last song you listened to? photograph
Do you have a job? no...but i put in an application at tonys
How much money is in your wallet/piggy bank/sock drawer/wherever? 5 bucks
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? buy i huge house and lots of things idk
Well now that we know who the stoners are (hint: theyre the ones who would buy drugs with that million dollars) just how many drugs HAVE you done? some
How great were they? pretty sweet
Have you ever smoked? yep
Drank? yeah
Have you ever actually been drunk? yeah
If you have, did you get a hangover? yea dude i totally had one on sunday going to church, it sucks
How much did that suck? very much
Whats your favorite alcoholic drink? vodka
Do you swear? fuck no ima fuckin angel 0=]
Have you ever wanted to die? at times
Why didn't you? because of my sisters and my brother and my friends
Ever hurt yourself? yeah...
Why? because i did
What's your greatest fear(s)? fuckin clowns, i fuckin hate them, and being alone
Why? clowns because ugghh, childhood thing long story
alone because its just aloneness
lets take a look into your love life (not that you have one)
Marital status?single and living it up
What's your boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wifes/fuck buddys name? sarah is my wife
Like anyone? sure
Orientation? straight
Homophobe? HOMOPHOBE-insecurity about being heterosexual... i am not a homophobe. i love gays bis and lesbians !!
Who is the hottest person EVER? me
wow...you have bad taste.
Love or lust? both of them, there both great.sometimes. im kinda leaning more towards lust
Ever been in a relationship? yeah
Ever been dumped? yeah..
cant say i blame them.
Ever had your heart broken? pshh my whole life is on big broken heart but its high school what do u expect
Who broke it? people..mikey,danny,steven...to name a few
Ever been called a tease? lol all the time
If yes, was it justified (did you deserve it?) - lol maybe ..
First kiss you ever got? dont really want to remember
Last person you kissed? chris
EWW, you kissed them? what the hell were you thinking?! idk!
Ever made out with a stranger? yes lol it was great
Ever made out with anyone? yeah...
Ever made out with a member of the same sex? yeah
Virgin? no
yeah, right.
You ever want to get married? eh, maybe
To who? someone
HA, like you'd ever have a chance with them.
Ever wanna have kids? ..blah kids. of course i want them
How many? 2
Got their names picked out yet? idk yet
Ok, so in a love interest, whats your favorite...
Hair Color? brown
Eye Color? blue/hazel
(Their)Music Genre Preference? dont matter
Height(estimate)? tall
Age? no older then 18 no younger then 15
Personality Type? funny, they have to make me laugh
Older or Younger then you? older
Romantic or Horndog? a little of both
Smart or Stupid? smart
Fat or Skinny? not too fat, but not too skinny
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular? thin and muscular
Punk or Preppy? punk
The Big Picture or the Little Things? little things
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present? flowers/candy
Mixtape or Burned CD? burned cd
Emotional or Just Not? in between
Sincere or Jokester? jokester, with a side of sincere
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet? ugly and sweet
Sexy or Just "cute"? i like cute
Ass or Abs? abs
Hair or Hands? hair
Dimples or Eyes? eyes
(on guys) Clean Shaven or Scruffy? i like scruffyneesss
Rugged or Prim and Proper? rugged
Countryboy/girl or Cityboy/girl? country boy
Date alone or With Friends? dont matter
Have you ever liked hanging out with your boyfriends/girlfriends friends more than them? eh. not really
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better? umm..once
Do looks matter? not really.
Are you honestly scared of being dumped? yes
Does size matter? its not the size of the wand its the magic in the stick
ok, enough about you, you egotistical jerk. lets move on.
How are your friends? theyre fuckin awesome
Who's your best friend(s) ever? jessica,heather,kaykay,sarah
Describe them to me please: jessica is fuckin hilarious, no matter what we are always cracking up. heather is my sex partner and kaykay is my campbuddy lol (when the four of us get together, omg i laugh until i cry) and sarah is my wife
Who would you trust with your life? any of my friends
Who would you not trust with a pencap? lol idk
Would you die for any of your friends? yes
Which ones? any of them, i love my friends
Which of your friends is the shiest? none of them
Loudest? heather
Weirdest? kaykay
Meanest? HAHA that would be sammy Erica: Sammy can i have a hit of your cig? Sammy: NO erica: why? Sammy: because i dont like you
Most annoying? Larie, i love her, but she gets on my nerves sometimes
Most caring? they all care
Who do you talk to the most on the phone? umm danny or jess
Who always seems to get you in trouble? fuckin jessimaca!!! lol history class
Who has seen you cry? all of them i think
Who is your most attractive friend (come on, everyone has that friend that they can't stand to be around sometimes, but they hang out with them anyway cuz theyre hot)? Jasmine, she is soo effin pretty even being pregnant she is still so god dan gorgeous, i love her though
If you had to choose just 3 people to be with you when you died, who would it be? hard one.. but it would be heather jess and kaykay because i just love them
Who have you known the longest? geez i dont know tisha i think
Who of your friends do you fight with the most? erica, in fact were not speakin at the moment
Do you have any friends that you haven't ever gotten in a fight with? i dont think i have ever been in a fight with sarah or kaykay or jess..or idk a lot of them
Do you even have any friends? yes!
Are you lying to me? no !
yeah ok, keep telling yourself that.
Which of your friends do you have the most in common with?idk
Which of your friends is the least like you? idk
Which of your friends has bad taste in guys/girls? jessica..omg jason! EWWWW
pssh, you're just saying that cuz they won't date you.
Ok, i know you love them...but which of your friends is a total idiot? lol were all idiots
Alright, how bout enemies? anyone you just cant STAND? lots of people
Bet that shoe would be handy right about now eh? definetely
If murder was legal...who would be dead? erica
Ever had one of those annoying people you barely know who hang all over you and won't leave you alone and refuses to take the hints you drop? yes!
who are they? what are their names? what do they look like? ...i'd like to congratulate them.
ok, let's have some fun now.
1). your porn star name (name of your first pet + street you live on): i dont remember the name of my first pet!!
2). your movie star name (grandfathers first name + favorite snack food): Jackson Kudos
3). your fashion designer name (first word you see on your left + your favorite resturant): Travel Tonys
4). your foreign name (favorite spice girl + last foreign vacation spot): sporty canada
5). your socialite name (silliest nickname + first town where you partied): honda holland
6). your fly guy/girl name (first initial + first three letters of your last name): J.Fra
7). your dectitive name (name of favorite animal + name of your high school): Elephant Goshen
8). your barfly name (last snack food you ate + your favorite alcoholic beverage): cheetos smirnoff
9). your soap opera name (middle name + first street you lived on): not telling
10). your rockstar name (favorite candy + favorite musicians last name): im drawing blanks
11). your "Popular" name (favorite celebrity's first name + best friend's street name): i dont know my best friends street name!
12). Your opposite sex name (name of opposite sex friend + cell phone company you use): mikey verizon
so...how was it? did you enjoy it? umm...sure?
what do you think of me? eh annoyin kinda
liar. you love me. NO
what time is it now? 10:39
and im done with that
im tired and sick
and i ABSOLUTLY hate people who talk shit
