So I just posted 10 entries of things I have written in the past few months. They aren't in any particular order. I don't have much to update about. 6 Days until our 1 year. 36 days until our trip to Niagara. Other than that I got nothing. Later.

What makes people believe that they are above the law? Everyone is human, So that means that Everyone is the same. And should be treated the same. Stupid Sports, movie and music stars. They can get away with just about everything. But more on that later.

Written a few months ago. I have a question, now it might seem vain, But please answer it honestly. Why do people like me? (In all senses of the word ‘like’) No I do not need an ego boost about how wonderful and amazing you think I am, I just want to know why I have a few guys chasing after me at any given time and other girls have none. It doesn’t seem fair to them. Is it something the other girls are doing wrong? Am I leading guys on? Am I doing something wrong (given I have a boyfriend)? Or is there really something different about me than all the rest? Help me out?! And the rest too of course. Thanks.

Another poem thinger in progress. It’s like with that one look your heart is going to STOP. When you can’t help but smile, While in their presence, Or when they are mentioned. When with a single kiss, Your breath is taken away. When you forget your words,. When a simple touch of their hand, Makes you feel undone.

I’m sorry I’m not one of those hideously gorgeous girls. I think I look pretty good, then I go out somewhere and feel as ugly as fuck. Am I am ugly as fuck? I’m sorry I’m skinny, but my body isn’t anorexic. I’m sorry my face isn’t as perfect as the movie stars. Let me know if you think I’m as ugly as fuck. So that I can become some superficial blonde, who spends all her money on her beauty, and caring only about how she looks for the rest of her life. I hate those people with perfect complexions and then one day they have ONE pimple and it’s as if it’s the end of the world! I have been suffering from a face full since grade 7, so shut the hell up. The media and society put so much pressure on beauty. Well mostly outer beauty, They don’t care about inner beauty.

Fuck! They can block off the parking lot, and speed around it, but if I honk I get the dirty looks? What the fuck?! I should be used to the dirty looks by now; I’ve been getting them ever since I can remember. Why don’t the teachers care about that? I’m tired of it. They aren’t following the rules. If they don’t have to, then why should I??? That’s easy. My moral code. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Plus I don’t want to be like them. But sometimes I wonder if by trying so hard not to be like them, if I truly am just like them? And that freaks me out, because I never want to be considered to be like them.

Ever remember when there was a new kid in your elementary class, and everyone was trying to size them up to determine what “group” they belonged to? It was as if it was a competition to see what group was better, because the group that won would have one more person, proving that they are better than the rest. WTF was with that?? It still happens in High School, but not as much as I noticed it in Elementary School.

Things I want to learn more about. ♥ Philosophy Psychology Improving IQ Improving memory Mythology Criminal Investigating Private investigating Screen writing Biology Ancient Greece Ancient Egypt Lost Civilizations Understanding your brain.

Here’s a poem I started to write a while ago but haven’t finished; here’s the work in progress. I wonder Sometimes I wonder, What it’s like to be perfect, For no one to be quite like you. What it’s like to be spoiled, To have everything you want, And everything you don’t. ………… But then I realize it wouldn’t be as much fun as just being me. You learn a lot more by not getting it your way all the time. That’s one of life’s lessons. I know it’s one of mine.

In our parents relationships, Was the love ever there? Or did it just disappear? Fall into the background, so that they forget why, they came together in the first place?

I’m sick and tired of this school. “Our School’s so Ghetto!” Well it wouldn’t be if the students respected school property. • Lighting a garbage can on fire. • Vandalizing the bathrooms • Breaking windows. • Vandalizing the lockers. • Stealing either school stuff, or other students’ items. • Disrespecting teachers and other students. • Complaining about the school’s Sports teams when it’s their choice to have them, also that the student activities are “stupid” when they are pretty fun if you give them the chance. (But you’re too cool for that aren’t you??) When will the students be happy? After their attempts to close down the school succeeds? Will they be happy when we have to stay in school for a few weeks in the summer? Do they really understand why there’s a strike? Do they understand the world around them? And the facts that their actions have consequences? Even after the strike, about 4 weeks now. The janitors haven’t cleaned the school well. There’s still toothpaste and concealer all over some lockers. My locker still has some icing on it that was put there back in October, it is now April! Students refuse to clean their lockers leaving gross stenches in the halls. The office and janitors do nothing about it. There’s always: • Food littering the halls. • Locks broken in the bathroom. • Vandalizing of just about everything. (I’m surprised the vehicles haven’t been tagged or anything) *********Take Pictures of the items mentioned and insert them here********** Does no one respect the school? Does no one care that this generation is a slob? ------- I might as well stay silent for the rest of my life. Apparently that’s what everyone wants. They ask a question. I know the answer, and I tell them it, but they ignore me because apparently I’m the wrong person to be talking. Well sooorrrrrrry Assholes. I just won’t answer you until, I’m driven crazy by your repeatitively by your stupid questions. And then when I pipe up and tell you off with the answer, do not get mad. Because it was you who is the ignorant annoying asshole, so shut up! ----- The images in the media make it difficult for a teenager to decide what kind of person they want to be, or how they want to act, or even how they think. The media implies that to be sexy, or an independent woman you need to be dancing like a stripper and revealing 60-80% of your body. To be gorgeous or hot you must be leggy and skinny, and usually blonde. To be successful you need to be covered in jewelry and fur and have big expensive vehicles. To be cool you need to have a gun, do drugs and drink.

So as you can see I've been busy writting up some of my notes from within my purse, along with the previous one that was just created. I hope it makes up for my lack of posting. I posted a total of 12 today. Enjoy. There still is a lot more. That was only 1/4 of them. Yepp.. Leave me comments with your thoughts. :) &hearts If if I don't know you. I'd still like to read them :)

I was listening to my Rasmus CD and this song goes on about: “One day I'll come back if the door's still open Just promise to keep your heart broken Forever and after my love Just promise to keep your heart broken” -Keep your heart broken Basically he signs about how he wants her to long for him forever while he goes off and has fun. Well I think that’s bull! Why should she be the one to sit around and cry for him, and hoping that one day he’ll come back, while he goes off having fun with other girls. Please! What a fucking dog! He expects her to wait for him, while he fools around with others and then realizes what he should have realized long ago, that she is the one for him!?!? He had his chance, he decided he didn’t want it, he blew it. Sure sometimes there are second changes but they don’t happen that often. He had his chance, he blew it, forget him, move on, then when he realizes that she was the one he is the one who’s hurt. That’s the way it should be. I’ll be damned if I sit around for years hoping “he’ll” come back and realize his mistake. I deserve to go have fun too. Even if my heart believes otherwise, this is a time the head should rule the heart, but it doesn’t, if it did there would be less heartache. This was written last January. Clearly you know who “he” was. It was written shortly after we broke up. It may or not apply to my life now. But I’ll wait. You are worth the wait. He wasn’t.

What the Fuck!! Just because some celebrities suffer from mental illness we have to honour them by posting them all over a bulletin board??!!! It doesn’t make sense. Don’t they already have enough publicity? Why must we be informed of everything they do, or eat or go? Who cares?!?! They are only human, just like you and me. Only they are in front of a camera for most of their lives, having the whole world watching them. Most of them already have way too big egos. They don’t need to be talked about more! Yes I understand that a way to bring light to issues like that and poverty and such is to get a celebrity to do commercials and posters. But our world is already filled past the brim with advertisements and such. Everywhere you go you can’t help but find slogans and ads, about nothing in particular, so of it good, some of it bad. Society is all about money and how to get more. But it shouldn’t be, we are all equal. It should be more focused on the earth and health, on research and science. But instead it’s spent on sports and advertisements, and other pointless things. They don’t accomplish anything! Watching sports doesn’t help global warming, or poverty, or war. It helps with nothing.

Guys are pussies. Well at least 2 that I know. Well.. One is and the other is a HUGE fucking Asshole! If you haven¡¦t heard already, he is going around telling anyone who¡¦ll listen that ¡§we had sex ALL THE FUCKING TIME¡¨. That¡¦s a lie right there, when we did it was forced upon, which he did want it all the time, so then it¡¦s not totally incorrect just the way he is making it sound. Then there¡¦s the other part about me that I ¡§BEGGED him to give it to me in the ass.¡¨ Which is also a huge fucking lie!!! I BEGGED HIM NOT TO! But it didn¡¦t work. He did what he wanted anyway. So I cried into my pillow. As usual. What fun memories. Oh and the other one, is going around saying that I am Ugly and shit like that. Look in the fucking mirror dumbass! Oh and I ran into him at his work yesterday that was fun. I didn¡¦t know where he worked. Now I do. Adam and I were looking for sharks, then went looking at the fish in the back of the store, and Adam said ¡§I bet you don¡¦t know who¡¦s behind you¡¨ I turn and there he is, talking to some co-workers. lol. He told his old co-worker with the long hair something about me, I couldn¡¦t make it out that well. But then the man came up to us and started talking. Lol¡K Oh well. I don¡¦t care. ƒº It doesn¡¦t bother me. I like knowing that it pisses you off to know I¡¦m alive and breathing and happy without you.

After being in Intro to Sociology, Anthropology, and Psychology I¡¯ve come to the conclusion that I may want to continue my education and either because a writer or a social scientist =D Like Freud! ¢¾ Research further..

Why the fuck is school so stupid?! Why are my parents such pains in the ass? Why must I always be angry? Am I high and mighty?? Or do I just see the world around me differently then everyone else? Am I truly years beyond my age or just crazked out? Why do I feel it necessary to question everything? Even my own thoughts. I'm stubborn because I'd rather come up with my own ideas, thoughts, and opinions, rather then following mindlessly with all the rest.

Is it a nightmare to have me sit near you? Do you fear for your life? Is it horrible to be sitting near a “whore”? Do you feel bad about all the pain you have caused me? Are you worried about me finding out about the stories you tell about me? And what I’ll do after I find out? Do you regret it? Do you ever think your life isn’t worth living? Are you afraid of me because you know I can get you in more trouble then you ever thought? I hate the sound of your voice. I hate your hands and how they have no knuckles. I hate the way your lips move when you talk. It is as if you are eating and talking at the same time. I’m GLAD I didn’t end up having your kid. It would have been a fucked up little thing with arms and legs coming out of who knows where, maybe missing some limbs and not having knuckles, with a really annoying voice, and a gross mouth. But that’s only the things that you would have contributed. The only way I would really enjoy seeing you would be if I had beaten you up severely. And your body was covered in bruises, your teeth were knocked out, all your body hair had been waxed off, and you were then tied to a .... I forgot the name of it..(thing that stretches out your body). Where I then proceed to fry up your penis while it is still attached to your body. Then I take a hammer to your arms and legs, and break every bone in your body, cut out your tongue with a rusty nail. And leave you until the animals take you away. My wish for you! I hope you are trapped on an island filled with gay men, and all you have to eat is Cool Ranch Doritos and Milk. And that you get lots and lots of STD’s from the REAL whore! :)

Wtf this is math, not let’s talk about tennis! I don’t care about tennis. Is it going to be on the exam? I doubt that! Cramped up from tennis? No I can’t say I have. But I do suffer from sever cramps. Hahahaha, Oh No! Mention of “girly” problems :O ! Is he purposely sounding dumb as though he doesn’t know what he is teaching, because he doesn’t know or is it just his teaching method? Should he really be teaching this if he doesn’t understand it himself? I understand it now. He is doing it all purposely, he wants us to teach ourselves, so we truly are prepared for University.

I wish my pills would stop fucking with my emotions. Or maybe it’s me. I wish I would stop being angry one second and then happy and then sad. It’s fucked up. I wish I could stop thinking. I wish I could be me all the time, without having my head go crazy. Maybe that is me… I hope it isn’t. I can’t accomplish much that way. I write and write and write, and the thoughts keep coming at me, and I have no time to type them up or anything. Gah! Well since today is a snow day, for me at least, I don’t know about the rest of you. I’ll try and see how many I can type up, and how many more I can make up. Enjoy.