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August 25th, 2008 @ 9:15pm |
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I checked my phone to make sure it wasn't going to rain tonight so i didn't have to roll my windows up and cover the roof of my car. it leaks when it rains. so i checked it and it said that there was a zero percent chance of precipitation. it's storming outside. when i go to work in the morning, i'm going to have to wear a hat and a jacket so that my work clothes don't get wet. i'm so unbelievably angry right now. i checked the weather on my phone again and it just now updated and said theres a thunderstorm watch for my area. fuck you. fucking liar. i was suppose to go see Byron's new apartment tonight but now i can't because it's raining. something so natural and so trivial can so easily make me this angry. i don't even feel like going to get my xanex right now. they're in my glove compartment. fuck! i'm becoming more and more crazy by the day. not a day goes by where i don't think of this disorder. it's more accurately comparable to a flesh-eating disease. it feels like an unavoidable plague and i seems like everyone around you knows you have it, like it's so blantantly obvious, and there's just no escaping it. not to mention i feel like my body is doing the things that some other brain is telling it to do. like i'm outside looking in. then i'll finally come to and realise that i have no idea what my body was doing in my absence. it's one of the worst things that i've ever had to put up with. Borderline Personality Disorder. i highly don't recommend it. |
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resent me
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