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Been awhile |
March 3rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: nada
Feeling: humbled
well its been a while since i was last on here...mostly cuz mi hermano took my computer 2 go get fixed..an so yea im in da library again.....this is carnegie weekend im kinda bummed cuz i really wanted 2 go..i hope sam is havin a good tyme w/o me tho..an i realli do hope everybody does great on sunday....but anyway....2 no ones surprise me an cris are back 2 gether an 4 sum reason everyones is liek all happy about it....liek we're sum ideal couple or sumthin...tee hee jus thinkin bout him brings a smile 2 my face...
man i love tht kid.lol
also my madre is thinking about moving 2 HOUSTON,TEXAS!!! i think this time its serious cuz she wants 2 go over there during spring break and check out da houses wit my aunt....beckster an her familia mite be comin 2..tht shud b interestin....speakin of da beckster she wants me 2 go wit her 2 da movies 2 nite..cuz her parents r makin her take her siblings,an i guess she wants me 2 help out cuz they can b a handful..not sayin mi hermanas arnt...so yea shes probably gonna bring her boi...its funny how me an her r both goin out wit sumwun named cris...an yea
o yea! mi madre has FINALLY agreed 2 let me take the dance classes i wanted 2 take i am so stoked!!!....wait did i jus say stoked??
i mean excited...ALEGRE! PUMPED!
o great time 4 7th..ciao!
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| 114 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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ANOTHER MESS |
January 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
well it looks liek iv gotten my self in2 another mess...well not realli..well its not bad compared 2 evelins mess...i cant believe im worrying about my lil pity problems whn evelin and oscar cant jus b together w/out people interferring...her cousins hav friends in south side an her bf's friends kno ppl from ms...an cuz of thm goin out the 2 side r threating 2 jump each other...its reaali bad ....too many kunfuzing details 2 ryte so thts jus the basics....her bf practically got jumped the other day...man o man o man....y r people sooo stupid???
an now im not sure y but we were suposed 2 go 2 the movies 2gether liek a last get 2get her between us but this morning she told me she couldnt...didnt say y..well ill talk 2 her next period....life is not at its best ryte now.....an these stupid chents nex 2 me r fuckin annoying!!!!
aighty thnPEACE OUT |
| 45 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Jus Another Day |
January 11th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: ppl talkin in da library
Feeling: wonderful
well i jus realized tht the font of my diary is realli small so i apologize if u guys have a hard time reading this...
i jus found out last period that i hav an after skool rehersal...damn i 4got...*sigh*now i hav 2 call my mom an listen 2 her not believe me an threatening 2 come 2 the skool...2 me its not even a threat ne more....jus paranoia...
i wonder who else is stayin after...
well i found out monday that my grandpa in mexico died...tht realli sux an makes me doubt my belief in god cuz i had been praying for him 2 get better...
i feel liek iv already written this down sumwhere...if i hav an its in here thn ill kno 4 sure im really outa it..
i stayed up late monday workin on my project...onli thing tht kept me awake was a frapachino..(i could use one rite now)but i finished 1st period an it looks liek a B 2 me so...ill find out next week....
LOVE....RELATIONSHIPS...FEELINGS...URGES
all so Confuzing and hard to control...at times i feel liek doing this i shouldnt...and sometimes i wonder wat i hav gotten into and y....and sometimes old feelings come rushing back and i try 2 push them away b/c im involved in something else...i kno its nobodys fault but my own..an yet i feel liek my emotions are being pulled in diferent directions and scattered about....
an i feel liek i kno wat i want..but at the same time i dont...wats wrong with me...i shouldnt be worrying about this...but it plauges me so...
i really need 2 get my grades up...last interim
4 A's a D an 2 F's...my 4th period teacher gave me n F 4 NO REASON iv done everything...an missed one test...but tht cant b it..cuz i had a B+....i seriously think he's racist...
an yea...i think thats it for today
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| 40 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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so kunfuzed its not even funni |
January 9th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: ppl in da library
Feeling: distraught
why is it tht whn life suddenly seems 2 b lookin up it last 4 lyke a day an thn it plunges back down under....well my dads all better now...but now his dad is sick..really sick...to the point where doctors r sayin they cant do ne thing for him ne more....he wont eat an hes stoped takin his medicine..im praying for him..and evelin who has officialy had the worst weekend of her life..its not fair she doesnt even deserve all tht bullshit she's getting from her parents....an my parents totally pissed me off this weekend..lyke 4 wun my dad thought i was pregnant cuz i was complain bout cramps..w/e i kno im not tht stupid so w/e screw thm...i feel so weird 2day..im liek distracted from everything and i feel so distant from everyone...instead of havin lunch wit brian an adrieana i came 2 thelibrary...now i gtg..
peace&love |
| 53 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Things r lookin Up! |
December 22nd, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: anh an c.j talking
Feeling: bubbly
okai so im in the library 2nd period..im suposed 2 b researching current events for russia but i dont feel liek it..plus im 2 hyped up..2dai is the last dai of skool b4 the holidays!!!an i hav already gotton sum gifts an a card.so i feel loved.aha but yea
also i am no longer single:)
i am estatic!!liek 4 ex i was singing these cheesy random songs yesterdai an liek smiling all dai....yea..
an alotta pl hav noticed..so im guessin tht means im doin better thn i was last month...thts good...i hope things stay good 4 awhile tho
YYYYYYYYAAYYYYYYYYYYY im SOOO happy! i liek Love life rite now..an ima live it 2 da extent
bein strong does pay off....
hmm the bells gonna ring soon..tht means i hav 4th period next!!YES!! LOL
but yea i hope evryone has a very good break |
| 45 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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its official im an emo kid |
November 29th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: nothing
Feeling: beat
i wish i could stop crying so much,i wish i could take something that would make me stop crying...its liek every little thing sets me off....ok heres wat happened i was arguing wit my stupid spoiled brat of a sister an she kept tellin me 2 shut up so i LIGHTLY splashed her with water an she slapped me really hard so i kinda half pushed half hit her face an cuz of her stupid glasses she started screaming i mean literally screraming liek she was on fire or something.so my mom comes doesnt ask wat happened ,as usual an immediatly get blamed.wthf!!!!!jus typing this makes me burn up.im typin this as both of them are out fixing her glasses i swear i didnt even hit her hard she ALWAYS ALWAYS exaggerates everything an im not exagerating when i say she is the biggest drama quees iv ever known
im in hell
i hate them both
especially my mom ..shes not my mom the way shes been actin lately
she never tries 2 understand and she loves rubbin all tthis shyt in my face and yellin at me...no wonder im practically deaf.
i thought getting all this out wud help me feel better cuz i tried splashiong cold water on my face liek 3 times but all it does is make me feel numb b4 i start tearing up agian
and now im jus bawlin an i can barely c wat im typing....all this time im wondering who can i talk 2 ?no one .. i hav never felt so alone than i do now....i wish sumone had jus killed me instead of some innocent person cuz i at least hav a reason..nothing to keep me going...and everyday i wonder....wud things b different if my padrino was still alive?i wish i had known him....
god i hate living liek this,i hate feeling liek this..
somehow my moms form of punishment is makin me cook dinner(liek i dont do that every freakin day) and by telling me i cant go 2 chris's party...(jenny,mi sister thinks thats y im crying,cuz i cant go...if onli she knew)thats wat gets me even more she acts liek im some shallow person with no feelings..I DONT CARE ABOUT THE STUPID PARTY AND I COULD CARE LESS IF I WENT OR NOT.ITS HOW SHE TREATS ME THAT GETS ME
actually theres is somthin she did that really blows she took away my stereo
isnt that a little extreme???if i cant hav my music im basically empty..it kills me i cant listen 2 anything but her stupid rants about how im acting immature wit no respect
IM IMATURE??? I HAVE NO RESPECT???/
hmm well lets talk about her precious little favorite who is always extra touchy an has no respect for anyone but her self not even 4 our dog
all my mom seriously cares about is:
her plants(stupid)
my sister cindy
keeping the house spotless
and not lookin bad in front of people
could she b any more shawlow
o wait i guess i cant really blame her..its all that crazy shit shes been througt thats made her physco
i really not only things shes either crazy or right on the edge but she seriously needs help
maybe so do i.....or maybe i jus need 2 get out |
| 70 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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my feelings |
November 11th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: mixed cd rafael made me
Feeling: confused
well iv noticed i havnt realli been updating an i shud more often cuz i thinks it s liek sum sort of therepy 4 me which is good....
well today is veterns day so theres no skool 2day an im at home stuck wit all these stupid chores my mom left me an as usuall i got more cuz im the oldest but w/e
life has been pretty rocky 4 liek da past month or so...or maybe jus since skool started...or whn i broke up wit cris...i dont even kno...how sad is that?...well i guess tht was the 1st thing but basically everything started 2 go downhill after my dad had his heart attack.
u wud think that after sumthin liek tht life wud start 2 look up..jus the opposite...
on the brightside i went 2 the dentist yesterday,NO CAVITIES!!!
but besides that i seem 2 b experiencing a lot of emotions rushing 2 me an clinging 2 me at the same time an it makes me feel liek i dont have control over my emotions anymore..or maybe even myself
and it jus sux cuz it makes everything more complicated then ever...i think i might even have clinical depression or something..
cuz i tend 2 feel sleepy alot
i tend 2 cry over small thing
i can get upset easily
an at times i feel liek my whole existance is worthless and meaning less
and thn i think about it take a deep breath an hope that there is a way i can get through this....
urgh!and im sick of dealing wit all dis guy bullshit
first that whole chris thing where we pissed each other off and didnt talk 4 2 weeks and we only jus started talkin onli b/c of melva an vanne...jerk shudnt hav needed sumone 2 tell him 2 talk 2 me if he really did want 2...(if u read this idc cuz its my diary an im pissed off)
steven...sometimes idk...he told me he lieked me but u wud think sumthin wud hav happened by now...idk...i feel liek i really liek him but at times im liek screw this i dont need guys...cuz even rite now i dont want a boyfriend,i jus got out of a loong one and dont wana go rushing in2 another wun....i dont want the commitment or the responsibility....but if he does ask me or w/e as sum ppl claim he will(which i doubt)..idk...c?i cant even make up my mind about all this!omg!argh!
well i guess ill go start on my slavework now....i hope i kin go out an do sumthin fun...hope sumone calls me or sumthin...mayb ill go over 2 patricias..
dunno
Peace out Bitches |
| 65 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
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coming back for more |
November 11th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: i am me
Feeling: confuzzled
Sunday morning blues always about you
I wake up alone in a big room
Got myself to blame for all my bad moods
And I really wish that I didn't feel this way
I want to break the circle but the circle won't break
I don't wanna spend another night
Trying to figure why you are always on my mind woah
All I know you keep me coming back for more
Even when I think I've had enough
When I tell you that it's over now we're done
Don't let go, just keep coming back for more
You keep me coming coming coming coming back for more
I'm coming coming coming coming back
Two weeks and three whole days and I give in
I was doing so good but you always win
And I really wish sometimes that we would just move on
But what would I be doing if you were gone?
You always find a way to make me want to stay
You'll never get away from me
I don't wanna spend another night
Trying to figure why you are always on my mind woah
All I know you keep me coming back for more
Even when I think I've had enough
When I tell you that it's over now we're done, ooh
Don't let go just keep coming back for more
You keep me coming back for more
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| 43 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Coming back 4more |
November 10th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: ashlee simpson
Feeling: hyperactive
well it looks liek me an chris r bak on talking terms but tht idiot has gone off an ticked da other Evelin off so mayb ill join in wit her an not talk 2 him agin....this shud be an intrestin week....
an o yea Steven said he Lieks me!!!!!! |
| 47 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Private emotions |
October 28th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Linkin Park
Feeling: emotional
its private emotions that fill me up tonight as the silence falls between myself and the rest of the world,and the shadows steal the light....
i jus feel liek jotting random things down..
i jus came back from a long run an now my mind has gone from blank an steady 2 slammed wit thoughts from every whichever directions
i hate whn u say u dont understand,i wana b wit the energy not wit the enemy i need a place 4 my head...u tried 2 take the best of me,GO AWAY!
i had an intrestin convo wit chris....still makes me feel bad tho.. i wish he could get over me an i wish i cud get over these stupid guys...but yea...
RemorsefulDeadx: well yea.:-) happy joy joy.
xxSweetstxxSinxx: ren an stimpy
RemorsefulDeadx: yea i know you should go watch them itll make you happy
xxSweetstxxSinxx: 2bad they got cancelled
xxSweetstxxSinxx: ima watch longest yard
RemorsefulDeadx: ok thats nice im off now. feel better gimme a call this weekend if you can
xxSweetstxxSinxx: sure
xxSweetstxxSinxx: later thn
xxSweetstxxSinxx: hav fun 2morow
RemorsefulDeadx: NO your seriously not goin?
xxSweetstxxSinxx: prob not
RemorsefulDeadx: :-( no fun w/o evy
xxSweetstxxSinxx: ha yea ryte
xxSweetstxxSinxx: its better
xxSweetstxxSinxx: no drama
RemorsefulDeadx: nah to you see your smile makes my day even if there is drama
xxSweetstxxSinxx: if thats tru thn mayb there is a reason behind my existance
RemorsefulDeadx: yea there is ..oh well i really gotta go. ill ttyl
xxSweetstxxSinxx: okai
xxSweetstxxSinxx: bai
RemorsefulDeadx: bye chula
*sigh* i cant belive my mom goes nuts ova a c...an f i understand..dont even hav an f...lowest grades r d an c....
damn |
| 49 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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