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April 15th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
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if you only knew... |
| 462 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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You don't know me |
October 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted
I like this my sister wrote it so fuck you |
| 76 hit(s) |
(5 comments) |
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Dress to Kill |
September 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hey everyone.
If you don't know who I am, I am ISHMAILE!!
Yeah that is right. I am a lonely arabic brother. I am no terrorist. I am Not muslim. I am a hardcore christian...
Paranoia
i am a hypocritical paranoid Bastard.
I make up alias to hide my true identity.only on two of my diaries do they protray my true name.
Nervousness
nervousness is a way of saying nothing has made you feel the way this love has made you feel
Lightning
I am scared of lightning and other assorted objects. My fears often overwhelm my life
LIFE...
DEATH>>>
fat kids.................
............grapefruit.............
I've got a plan.
We will write to each other in X's and O's and we won't get caught....
XXXXOOOXXOOX OXXOOXOXOXO OXOXOOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXXOXO XOXO XOOXOO OOO XXOSOXOX OXOXO XOXO XOOXOX OXOXOOXO XOOXOXOXOXXOXXOXXO XOXOXO XOXOOXO XOOXOXOXO OOXOXOXO XOOOXOOOOX OX O O XXOXO XOOX OXOO XOOXOXXXOOOOOX OO OO X X X X XOOX XOOOX XOOOOXOOOX XXXXOO XXOOX OXXXOOXO XOXOXOX XOOX OXOX XOOX
WELL DID YOU GET IT.
My face hurts.
someone has to crack my back it hurts
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| 65 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Dress to Kill |
September 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hey everyone.
If you don't know who I am, I am ISHMAILE!!
Yeah that is right. I am a lonely arabic brother. I am no terrorist. I am Not muslim. I am a hardcore christian...
Paranoia
i am a hypocritical paranoid Bastard.
I make up alias to hide my true identity.only on two of my diaries do they protray my true name.
Nervousness
nervousness is a way of saying nothing has made you feel the way this love has made you feel
Lightning
I am scared of lightning and other assorted objects. My fears often overwhelm my life
LIFE...
DEATH>>>
fat kids.................
............grapefruit.............
I've got a plan.
We will write to each other in X's and O's and we won't get caught....
XXXXOOOXXOOX OXXOOXOXOXO OXOXOOXOXOXOXOX XOXOXXOXO XOXO XOOXOO OOO XXOSOXOX OXOXO XOXO XOOXOX OXOXOOXO XOOXOXOXOXXOXXOXXO XOXOXO XOXOOXO XOOXOXOXO OOXOXOXO XOOOXOOOOX OX O O XXOXO XOOX OXOO XOOXOXXXOOOOOX OO OO X X X X XOOX XOOOX XOOOOXOOOX XXXXOO XXOOX OXXXOOXO XOXOXOX XOOX OXOX XOOX
WELL DID YOU GET IT.
My face hurts.
someone has to crack my back it hurts
|
| 48 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Bull SHIT |
September 18th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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You all fucking make me sick>....
Fuck all of you shit heads
Bull shit |
| 40 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Totals are IN |
September 18th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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All of my diary consist of 585 different entries that all began Last september. this one has 255 entries. that is shit. I have five other ones so if you like what I write here check out some other ones. Rightfulwrong Nightsky Obseenbastard Warrior ineedadvice yeah bye
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| 47 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Hello again |
September 7th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Long time no see. Well I am going back on my words of not writing on here any more and i am quite glad i didn't. I hope that everyones summer was quite good |
| 61 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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The One Armed Kids |
June 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hello everyone i am saddened. The one person has stopped writing so I will too... At least on this on if you know my secret hidden special diarys then visit me. but if you don't then fucking ask me. If you want to know what all my secret entrys say I will be putting some of them on the other diarys so yeah. I love you people. all you people. |
| 58 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Carving |
May 19th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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You know what, people laugh at me when i wear my pumpkin shirt. But sometimes I feel like that pumpkin. Carved the way everyone else wants me to be. A funny smile and hollow eyes. Hollow everywhere else too. Hollow so that I can't feel the slam of the pumpkin body being slamed into a wall. Being pierced again and again by a blade.
Huh, maybe not... |
| 65 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Chewing my ears off |
May 9th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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My mom is freaking out at me all the time for nothing. I feel like chewing my ears off |
| 39 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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When YOU are around |
May 9th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause you don't fucking listen
When I'm around.
The least you could do is take it back
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
Cause I can't fucking stand it.
When You're Around.
Midwest aftermath, the rumors start to rise
Did I truly do the things that you've described?
They must hate me, every single one
It just sickens them, what I consider fun.
But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause you don't fucking listen
When I'm around.
The least you could do is take it back
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks,
Cause I can't fucking stand it.
When You're Around.
But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause you don't fucking listen
When I'm around.
The least you could do is take it back
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
Cause I can't fucking stand it.
When You're Around.
No I can't fucking stand it, when you're around.
No I can't fucking stand it, when you're around.
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| 55 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Souls |
April 25th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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You Are a Bright Star Soul
Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention
In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you
You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial
And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive
You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy
You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define
A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles.
Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!
Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet SoulWhat Kind of Soul Are You? |
| 48 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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VietCong |
April 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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All night long the Cong had been moving around killing the wounded. Every few minutes I heard some guy start screaming, "No no no please," and then a burst of bullets. When they found a guy who was wounded, they'd make an awful racket. They'd yell for their buddies and babble awhile, then turn the poor devil over and listen to him while they stuck a barrel in his face and squeezed.
The fire was still increasing. We were all crouched as low as possible, but still keeping up a steady trot, looking from to side. I glanced back at Richards, one of the company's radio operators. Just as I looked back, he moaned softly and fell to the ground. I knelt down and looked at him, and he shuddered and started to gurgle deep in his stomach. His eyes and tongue popped out, and he died. He had a hole straight through his heart.
It felt as if a white-hot sledge hammer had hit the right side of my face. Then something hot and stinging hit my left leg. I lost consciousness for a few seconds. I came out of it feeling intense pain in my leg and a numbness in my head. I didn't dare feel my face: I thought the whole side of it had gone. Blood was pouring down my forehead and filling the hollow of my eyeglasses. It was also pouring out of my mouth. I slapped a bandage on the side of my face and tied it around my head. I was numbed, but I suddenly felt better. It had happened, and I was still alive.
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| 56 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Funky Thursdays with Jeff |
April 17th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hey everybody, I am Jeff or am I? Oh well, I started this thing where every thursday I dress up funky-like. and Everyone should do it because it is fun. And if you don't I will pierce all three of your nipples. YES 3!! So this thursday do something funky. |
| 57 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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B.I.B.L.E. |
March 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth |
| 86 hit(s) |
(3 comments) |
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Skinny Dippage |
March 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I don't Skinny dip, I chunky dunk |
| 58 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Aaahhh Shit.... |
March 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Damn Knees
I hate them
So anyway I was running around my house, K?
then I slipped on a piece of cloth or something in the kitchen and went whoosh. Smack right on my ass. OOOwwww! then my sister laughed at me. Stupid B@tch!
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| 78 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Proud of The Her |
March 15th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I am proud of you. You stood up and said it. You didn't have your friends fight your battles for you. You said it. Even if you didn't say it to him you still said it. I am proud of you. If you don't know who I am talking about then ask me and I might tell you but I am talking to all of you. You who think I am talking about you should be smiling because I am proud of all of you. |
| 59 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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I am coming |
March 11th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Dear Terrorists,
I am a Navy Aviator. I was born and raised in a small town in New England. I come from a family of five. I was raised in a middle class home and taught my values by my mother and father.
My dad worked a series of jobs in finance and my mom took care of us kids. We were not an overly religious family but attended church most Sundays. It was a nice small Episcopal Church. I have a brother and
sister and I am the youngest in my family. I was the first in many generations to attend college.
I have flown Naval aircraft for 16 years. For me the flying was never a lifelong dream or a "calling," it just happened. I needed a job and I liked the challenge. I continue to do it today because I feel it is important to give back to a nation which has given so much to me. I do it because, although I will never be rich, my family will be comfortable.
I do it because many of my friends have left for the airlines and someone has to do it.
My government has spent millions to train me to fly these
multi-million dollar aircraft. I make about 70,000 dollars a year and after 20 years will be offered a pension.
I like baseball but think the players make too much money. I am in awe of firemen and policemen and what they do each day for my community, and like teachers, they just don't get paid enough.
I respect my elders and always use sir or ma'am when addressing a stranger. I'm not sure about kids these days but I think that's normal for every generation.
I tell you all this because when I come for you, I want you to know me. I won't be hiding behind a woman or a child. I won't be disguised or pretending to be something I am not. I will be in a U.S. issue flight suit. I will be wearing standard US issue flight gear, and I will be flying a navy aircraft clearly marked as a US warplane. I wish we could
meet up close in a small room where I could wrap my hands around your throat and slowly squeeze the life out of you, but unfortunately, you're hiding in a hole in the ground, so we will have to do this a different way.
I want you to know also that I am very good at what I do. I can put a 2,000 lb weapon through a window from 10,000 feet up. I generally only fly at night, so you may want to start sleeping during the day. I am not eager to die for my country but I am willing to sacrifice my life to protect it from animals like you.
I will do everything in my power to ensure no civilians are hurt as I take aim at you.
My countrymen are a forgiving bunch. Many are already forgetting what you did on Sept 11th. But I will not forget!!
I am coming. I hope you know me a little bit better, see you soon...sleep tight.
Signed
A U.S. Navy Pilot
Our Soldiers are one
of our greatest assets!
God Bless
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| 72 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Harsh Words |
March 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted |
| 63 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Here's to us |
March 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Thanks to Joe
If you could just close your eyes I'd help you pull the trigger, I have to see if you and I were made for something bigger, So take a breath and squeeze away lets find out what your made of, If I should fall into your arms then by your hand will death be done. |
| 46 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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If you don't die in glory... |
March 5th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Having being dead for so long, I finally got my chance to rise up against those beings. Put those bastards at rest. Soon they will realize that their world is not a perfect as it seems. My presence will soon be known to those intolerable people. Or maybe I will hit them with a truck. |
| 54 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Special?!? |
March 3rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Special thanks goes out to Calling all cars for this is a song she wrote:
i met a really sweet guy today
he was such a gentleman, he wouldn't even let me pay
but i had a little secret i forgot to mention
i sure hope this doesn't cause a lot of tension
but i have something that i really need to say
you may not want to hear it, but you should listen anyway
i like your sister
i really really really wanna kiss her
i think she's really fine
i just hope you don't mind
cuz i like your sister
i really really really really dig her
i hope she likes me to
but if not, i guess you'll do
now don't get me wrong, you're a really great guy
but i think i'm gonna give girls a try
i had a really great time on our date
but where are your manners, introduce me to your sister, kate.
i hope you don't take this the wrong way
but if it doesn't work out, i promise i'll call, okay?
i like your sister
i really really really wanna kiss her
i think she's really fly
is she a lez, or is she just bi?
you don't know? that's cool too
do i still get that second date with you?
thanks for introducing us, i appreciate it
no hard feelings, i know you hate this
you've really been super about this
really understanding about my feelings for your sis
i feel like i can tell you anything
hey, maybe you could help me pick out a ring?
cuz i like your sister
i really really really wanna kiss her
she even understands
why i picked you as my best man
cuz i like your sister
and i really think our love is true
and i owe it all to you |
| 79 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Nothing to do... |
February 26th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Ah yes. I have nothing to do. My life was so boring all weekend. I just sat in my basement. How will I do when she leaves for spring break? scary thought |
| 100 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
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Stop your Complaining |
February 23rd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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How to make a Jeff
Ingredients:
1 part success
3 parts arrogance
3 parts ego
Method:Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little caring if desired!
Username:
Personality cocktailFrom Go-Quiz.com
Up dated! |
| 65 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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GO, GO, GADGET! |
February 17th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I love that show and I am now at Jenna's having a Party.
Sam John is cool.
Brigitte will read this and wonder where her real non-french name is.
I am so mean
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| 88 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
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Slime of Decaying Snails |
February 15th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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this has nothing to do with anyone for i stole it from some kid. But it is the abc's.
All you are is against all I hope to be,
Been bleeding on the furnished world,
Can't you ever see how fucked up this is.
Damn all things that follow your breath,
Everywaking minute more and more deaths
occur.
Finished with this shit,
Going to sever these ropes that hold us down.
Heroes burn in firey depths.
Is this ever going to be over you death figure,
Jump down and see who you are facing,
Kiss me with you death lips so I may know.
Let me die in your hands so maybe you will see,
May you never see what creates me,
Needth not in to the denial of my soul,
Open my mind to your brainwashing.
Plant your ideas so I may become yours,
Quitting all that you have set before me.
Rid me of this you bitch,
So told haven't you been told how I am before.
Twisting and distorting my words.
Under this I hope you see me,
Vertisle and know who I be.
Where you are know I will find you,
Xtending my reach to pull you down like me.
You will be sought and killed you bitch
Z the END!!! |
| 60 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Corporate Something |
February 12th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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i kiss your neck
i feel you breathing on my shoulder
still i'm perfect
it must be you cause now it's over
i was so close
that was the most that i have ever been through
now old cassettes and cigarettes
will be the ones to save you
how can you ask for me to stay
when all you ever do is go?
just go
and so i fall
i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and so i fall
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as i stall
and wonder when i.. |
| 51 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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ahahahaha Beating the life from me |
February 7th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Take me to the pain,
and all the way back again.
Taking me to the pain,
and all the way back.
Life sums up in three words,
better than average.
It never comes easy.
It's a savage world.
With damage attached,
and doses of happiness,
in between if you can survive the rest.
The lies that consume you.
Pain.
The pain shows you the way.
The feeling kills inside you.
Pain.
But you stay knowing eventually,
the pain goes away.
You have to get through it somehow.
I'll tell you when,
the time isn't now!
I'm on the ground with 110 men,
beating the life from me.
I shake off most of them,
to reveal my shattered bones.
My stand my decision to,
my reasons for it all.
I take the way of the others...
Straight back to the pain,
and all the way back again.
Taking me to the pain,
and all the way back.
Forget about taking though,
seeing past, understanding,
letting it go, forgiving
and forgetting, when we know
everything we know and doing
nothing about it.
We're just puppets with the hand
of pain controlling form inside
us and it takes us to the pain.
Knowing that they hurt us when
they take us back around again.
Straight back to the pain,
and all the way back.
Could I put it down on paper for you?
Then you're forcing me to suffer you.
How alone we are till the pain comes along.
How alone we are till the pain comes along.
And when you think it's never going to pass,
it's feeling so good at last.
Just when you think it's never going to pass, it's feeling so good at last... |
| 60 hit(s) |
(3 comments) |
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it is the same but worth mentioning twice |
February 4th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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"I kiss you and i know
it is love
From the first time
I pressed my lips unto yours
Thinking oh, is this love?" |
| 69 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Turning the Tide |
February 4th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I love you
feeling you next to me was beautiful
feeling your breath upon my neck is beautiful. It feels right when I am with you.
I am happy when you are around. I know I may not have the best PDA instincts I am sorry. I may not be a good kisser or something, but I do know that I love you. and this song may or may not have the right words in it but I like it. so there...
i close my eyes
thought i was lost but i was stranded
i go outside
to my surprise the sky had landed
i thought it made more sense
if i could only keep you guessing
i was a fool to think
that i should stop you from undressing
now i'm believing all the words you say
that i can't say back to you
to you
i kiss your neck
i feel you breathing on my shoulder
still i'm perfect
it must be you cause now it's over
i was so close
that was the most that i have ever been through
now old cassettes and cigarettes
will be the ones to save you
how can you ask for me to stay
when all you ever do is go?
just go
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as i stall
and wonder when i..
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as i stall
and wonder when i.. |
| 43 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Me like you |
January 28th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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The life I live will never be the same without you here |
| 126 hit(s) |
(7 comments) |
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Blackness |
January 26th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I am falling faster and deeper into the blackness of space and it is painful.
I don't want them to separate in their relationship because of me. I want them to be happy with each other. But yet, I too want to be happy. So do I have to decide if I want to sacrifice my happiness to let them get along? Is it a double-egded blade that is being slammed into my life? Is it for something that I did? I swear I never meant to have anyone get hurt. I fell and I don't know what is going to happen. But, please is there anything I can do. I didn't mean to pull her away. I didn't mean to do anything. I don't know what I mean. I am so confused, I don't know what I should do. I think I will go pray and then call some people. I am sorry for whatever I did to hurt you. |
| 66 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Please |
January 25th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I am angry
Can't you see that I'm sick of this?
Chances are you're oblivious to how I feel, sitting on your throne and I'm sure that I'm not alone. I didn't think you'd sell me out. But now I know what you are all about. You might feel in control of things but you aren't holding all the strings. I've swallowed all my answers and I've swallowed my pride. You have used up all your chances, I CAN'T KEEP ALL THIS INSIDE!!!
Tell me please
Who the fuck did you want me to be?
Was it something that I couldn't see?
I never knew this would be so political and please, I'm still wearing this miserable skin. And it is starting to tear from within. But it is obvious that doesn't bother you, so please don't keep telling me that its ok. I don't buy all the shit you say, and quite honestly I am fucking sick of it. So please if I cut off this nose from my face, then I wouldn't feel so out of place. But it still wouldn't be quite enough for you...
SO PLEASE.... |
| 87 hit(s) |
(5 comments) |
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Held like Children |
January 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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We are held like children in God’s arms. He cradles us as a mother would cradle her baby. He nurchers us, and watches us grow. When we become emotionally hurt, and think that we can’t continue living, God comes and scoops us up. He then carries us with him, humming a sweet tune and tells us that he will always be there for us. But yet, when we feel healed again, we push him away so we can be “free” again. And He is sad when we leave again and again, but he knows that we will be back sooner or later. God is a parent with never-ending patience and love. All He wants from us is love back. He wants us to tell him everything and anything. He just wants us to be happy with him. |
| 73 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Abortion is Homicide |
January 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !!
I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it?
It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No . . . .
Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about
abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never
see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. |
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Nothing less |
January 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He
saw me, and He asked: "My child, what is your greatest wish for today?" I
responded: "Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this
message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I
love them very much "The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its
beginning, but not its end. This message works on the day you receive it.
Let us see if it is true. ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't
all have wings, we call them FRIENDS. Pass this on to your true friends.
> >>Something good will happen to you at 11:00 in the morning; something that
you have been waiting to hear. This is not a joke; someone will call you
by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to
hear. |
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Only if you want me too |
January 18th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I just want you to be happy. If you want me to show you all the private entrys I will. What ever you ask I can do my best to make it so. Just know that when I am with you I am happy. But, when I watch you walk away, sometimes I feel the urge to run after you. I feel this weird pain that I may never see you again. That is one of the reasons I scream when I walk home. Because I know that if something were to happen to you, I would never be able to tell you how I really feel. I wish I could just type it all here but you probably know that words can't some up all of our feelings.
So I ask myself, how do I tell her? Show her? Make her understand? So how is it that I can tell you everything else but this? |
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(Prolonged Agony) |
January 16th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Questions Not About You nor for you, only of me:
What will happen if I act as myself around you and my friends? Will they reject and leave me?
Today was cool and yesterday.
I had Adam over and it was fun. Yes, fun. He didn't leave for forever. And it was cool because all we did was watch interview with a vampire. Which was cool.
I didn;t go to sleep lastnight untill like 4 this morning. Then I woke up at 10. That was alright |
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And Yet more |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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The way to find out if you love someone or not, is by talking to them. The more you talk to them the more you either hate them or love them.
-- Brad Breitenstein
Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.
-- Source Unknown
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
-- Source Unknown
Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
-- David Grayson
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| 106 hit(s) |
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More for you |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.
-- Ann Landers
The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they?re still alive.
-- O.A. Battista
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| 67 hit(s) |
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This is also for you |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Yes these are for you. When you read them they will make you smile, Just wait....
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~George Moore |
| 90 hit(s) |
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Anberlin |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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When your only friends are hotel rooms
Hands are distant lullabies
If I could turn around I would tonight
These roads never seemed so long
Since your paper heart stopped beating leaving me suddenly alone
Will daybreak ever come?
Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands
I thought you said forever
Over and over
A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
Over and over
Complaints of violins become my only friends
August evenings
Bring solemn warnings
To remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight
You never know what temporal days may bring
Laugh, love, live free and sing
When life is in discord
Praise ye the lord
Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands
I thought you said forever
Over and over
The sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
Over and over
Complaints of violins become my only friends
I thought you said forever
over and over
The sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
over and over
Complaints of violins become my only friends
I thought you said forever
over and over
These thoughts run through my head
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| 57 hit(s) |
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Something |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Can you hear me
Can you see any part of me
Can you feel me
Can you bleed for me
Can't you see me walkin in your shoes
Can't you feel me steppin all over your soul
Can't you feel me reach into you
Can't you feel me walkin over your soul
Can't you feel me wait in pain
Can't you feel me reach into you
Can't you see me walkin in your shoes
Can't you feel me steppin all over your soul
Can't you feel me reach into you
Can't you feel me walkin over your soul
Can't you feel me wait in pain
Can't you feel me reach into you
Can't you feel me walkin over your soul
Can't you feel me wait in pain
Can't you feel me reach into you |
| 55 hit(s) |
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Why this again? |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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My sister is moving back home.
AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
Everytime she does this it means that something bad will happen.
Last time she left for college and home turned to hell.
but the first time she left
she just took a plastic bag and walked out.
went and lived at a fucking cabin all summer.
then she came back for two weeks then left again .
Just makes me wonder how long she will stay this time |
| 69 hit(s) |
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Dedication-200th |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hello everyone,
I am dedicating my 200th entry to two very special people.
One is Jesus, my savior. He has helped me more than I know, and I know alot. but he has helped me through some stuff that I don't ever want to talk about.
And last but certainly not least, Jenna.
Yes, about couple of months ago, I didn't think love was in existance. I didn't think that I was supposed to have love for someone. But I was wrong as usual.
So what I am saying is I love you both |
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I am a failure |
January 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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well so much for staying up for 36 hours..
When I got home I fell asleep watching TV for 2 hours then had to go to the eye doctor and then fell asleep until 3.
I feel weak
But I had such a good time at the lock-in because Brittany was there. W00t! And It was just real good time.
And this may sound weird but I wanted to know what your hair smelt like to. but I thought if I had asked it would be/sound weird. So I didn't |
| 75 hit(s) |
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YOU ARE... |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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YOU ARE A LITTLE MORE THAN WHAT I CALL AMAZING |
| 82 hit(s) |
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More Manly |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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yeah I think I will try this color scheme for awhile so tell me what you think If you think I will care
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| 54 hit(s) |
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Why do you hate me? |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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My writings
I have written a few things that I don't really want people to read.
But I am going to let a few trustworthy people read one that I have just written
Don't judge me.
I lost one of them
I think in school
and i think that i may get into trouble because it has my name on it and that could be bad |
| 78 hit(s) |
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24 Hours |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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In fifteen minutes I will have only 24 hours before I need to sleep again |
| 59 hit(s) |
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33 hours |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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three hours yes whaaa
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36Hours |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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36 hours before I get to sleep again
I need alot of coffee
wish me luck |
| 59 hit(s) |
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OH NO! SURVEY TIME |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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--FIRSTS--
:-: first best friend = Nick shore
:-: first job = I am a janitor
:-: first screen name = tweed696
:-: first self purchased cd = sadly simple plan
:-: first funeral = Grandpa don
:-: first piercing/tattoo = my arm stupid peel off tattoos
:-: first enemy = Makayla
:-: first big trip = Los angeles
--LASTS--
:-: last big car ride = Coahoma
:-: last good cry = Yesterday
:-: last library book checked out = Flipped
:-: last beverage drank = Caprisun
:-: last food consumed = DONUT
:-: last phone call = Jenna
:-: last time showered = This morning
:-: last shoes worn = Rainbow laced black
:-: last cd played = Crossfade
:-: last annoyance = Peter
:-: last shirt worn = Pumpkin shirt
:-: last website visited = this one :P
--DESCRIBE YOUR…--
:-: wallet = Brown and been through the wash like twenty times
:-: underwear = Green with badmitton rackets on it
:-: tattoos = don't have one yet
:-: hair = Brown that covers my eyes real well
:-: eyes = I think they are grey but others don't
:-: hands = They are hands.....
:-: feet = They are feet.....
:-: room = 808B whaa computer lab
:-: boyfriend/girlfriend = ...
:-: parents = I love my Dad
--THIS OR THAT--
:-: [boxers or briefs] = boxers
:-: [plaid or striped] = plaid
:-: [salt or pepper] = Salt
:-: [okay, ok, or o.k.] = ok
:-: [bright colors or dark colors] = dark
:-: [tic-tacs or certs] = mmm... tic tacs
:-: [sunshine or rain]= rain
:-: [rain or snow] = rain
:-: [sun or moon] = Moon
:-: [silver or gold] = Silver
:-: [silk, cotton, or flannel sheets] = Flannel
:-: [preps or freaks] = freaks! I am a freak
:-: [popcorn-with or w/out butter] = with butter
:-: [ketchup, mayo, mustard, or relish] = everything but mayo
:-: [shampoo + conditioner in one or separate] = Seperate
--IF YOU WERE_______, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?--
:-: an animal = Squirrel, super squirrel
:-: a fruit = Mango
:-: a vegetable = Asparagus
:-: a color = Grey
:-: a bug = Praying Mantis
--SHORT ANSWER--
:-: are you smart? = I think i am a little smart, but not really.
:-: do you like onions? = yup
:-: what instruments can you play? = Spoons
:-: what words do you overuse? = Poor and Bastard
:-: do you sleep with socks on? = no
:-: are you ticklish? = very...
:-: are you shy? = if i don't know you.
:-: do you talk to yourself? = All the time
:-: do you have a basement or an attic? = basement
:-: did you go to preschool? = yes
:-: are you a morning person? = sorta
--FRIENDS--
:-: who you are closest to = All my friends, yup, that means all of you.
:-: who makes you laugh the most = Pretty much anybody
:-: who is the most trustworthy = Eric, Jenna, Carlee, adam
:-: who has the best house = Jenna
:-: who is the most daring = Eric
:-: who cares more about their hair then anything else = Mariah
:-: who is most likely to become an actress/actor = Adam Fake crying is cool
:-: who makes you cry the most = I know she already knows the answer
:-: who is the craziest = Me or eric
:-: who is the most flirty = Jenna
:-: who is most likely not going to call = Adam or eric
LAYER TWO:
-- your heritage: Scandinvian
-- your fears: The deaths of the ones i love.
-- your perfect pizza: no sauce just peanut butter and oreos
-- goal you'd like to achieve: Find someone.
LAYER THREE:
-- your most overused phrase on MSN: Why
-- your thoughts first waking up: Is she going to be in school today? will I see her?
-- your thoughts at bedtime: Is she sleeping? should I call her?
-- your most missed memory: I have all my memories thank you very much....
LAYER FOUR:
-- pepsi or coke: Pepsi
-- mcdonald's or burger king: BK
-- single or group dates: Any klind would be great
-- adidas or nike: doesn't matter
-- lipton iced tea or nestea: nestea
-- chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino
LAYER FIVE:
-- smoke: no
-- curse: Fuck yeah
-- sing: sometimes
-- take a shower everyday: pretty much
-- have a crush: more than that
-- do you think you've been in love: Yes
-- want to go to college: yes
-- like(d) high school: its ok
-- want to get married: Some day
-- believe in yourself: not all the time
-- get motion sickness: yes
-- think you're a health freak: no
-- get along with your parent(s): My dad...
-- like thunderstorms: only the rain, not a fan of lightning or thunder
-- play an instrument: spoons
LAYER SIX:
in the past month...
-- drank alcohol: no
-- smoked: no
-- done a drug: Tylenol?
-- had sex: no
-- gone to the mall?: yeah
-- eaten an entire box of oreos: yes
-- eaten sushi: yes
-- been on stage: no
-- been dumped: no
-- gone skating: no
-- made homemade cookies: yes
-- gone skinny dipping: no
-- dyed your hair: no
-- stolen anything: maybe.....
LAYER SEVEN:
ever...
-- played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
-- if so, was it mixed company: yes
-- been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- been caught "doing something": no I don't think so
-- been called a tease: i don't think so
-- gotten beaten up: yeah but you should have seen the other guy
-- changed who you were to fit in: yes I am poor
LAYER EIGHT:
-- age you hope to be married: not soon, i know that for sure
-- numbers and names of children: Whatever she wants
-- describe your dream wedding: Whatever she wants
-- where you want to go to college: yes
-- what do you want to be when you grow up: FBI special agent or writer
-- what country would you most like to visit: France
LAYER NINE:
in a guy/girl..
-- best eye color: I like blue and green.
-- best hair color: Doesn't matter to me.
-- short or long hair: Depends on if it is shorter than mine
-- height: i don't care really
-- best articles of clothing: anything I don't care
-- best first date location: Doesn't matter
-- best first kiss location: Doesn't matter
LAYER TEN:
-- # of drugs taken illegally: none
-- # of people i could trust with my life: 4
-- # of pets you have, what kinds, names: 3, Two dogs one cat, Annie grace cookie
-- # of CDs that i own: More than I need
-- # of piercings: 0
-- # of tattoos: 0
-- # of scars on my body: to many to count |
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Friday The 13 |
January 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hello it is friday the thirteenth
I get to go to a lock in
I am choosing to not sleep until
6:00 pm tomorrow so wish me luck ok?
Thanks have a great party day |
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Good Night |
January 12th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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its is okay to die, lover,
because i do every time you hang up on me
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| 40 hit(s) |
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Please don't |
January 12th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Please don't be sad
Please don't be mad
Please just be happy
Please so I can be happy too.
You are like my mood swinger.
If you are depressed I am trying to make you feel better
If you are happy I am trying to make it last
If you are mad I am trying to sweeten your life.
There isn't anything except give you that one piece of paper, that I wouldn't do to make you happier
Just ask me.
If you need someone to listen
If you need someone to ask questions
If you need someone to yell at you
If you just need someone
I am here for you. |
| 46 hit(s) |
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Thursdays New Name |
January 12th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hey it was funky thursdays with Jeff today
and that is why my mother was pissed at me
I was wearing a tie with a nice button up.
Cut-off kaki cargo shorts
Red and black toe socks
and red converses
with one rainbow shoe lace
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| 96 hit(s) |
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This type of thinking could do us in |
January 12th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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There's close enough
And there's too far
It won't change an empty stare
But I can't seem to end
These images
Hauntingly looks like hell
Come, Enter the foreign.
Face, All that's shameful.
Cheat, May the past find
Out; Separating...
To end this catastrophic scene awake and breathe in |
| 48 hit(s) |
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Funky Uniforms |
January 11th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Ok I wrote this like super cool thingy
on notebook paper and it like is in a circle
but it is really gross
Like you don't want to read it.
At all.
You would probably be freaked out by it if you did
so Don't read it.
It is about cutting and about cutting different spots of your body
So don't read it I think I will get rid of it
before someone finds out where it is
I shouldn't have written this I should have even discussed it
I don't know what I was thinking |
| 70 hit(s) |
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Smoke stacks miles to my feet |
January 11th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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And I saw you today but again I felt awkward because those girls totally have their own thing and obviously they didn't want any intrusions by myself, so whatever. |
| 67 hit(s) |
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Hey everybody |
January 10th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I made it so that only my friends could leave me notes or comments so yeah
This one kid leaves me alot of comments and he makes me depressed so yeah |
| 121 hit(s) |
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NOTES |
January 8th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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bus 18 |
| 113 hit(s) |
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My Fault |
January 8th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Yesterday, was movie night as I am sure that you can remember. I don't know what I want. The only thing that I know is that I love you. It may not seem like much. But it is the truth. I don't want you to be hurt. I don't care if I am hurt as long as you are happy.
Yesterday was my mistake.
It was me who messed that up.
I know that.
But you must understand one thing.
There is one reason that stopped me.
I was going to kiss you but I couldn't.
I was afraid of what they would say.
I am sorry.
That is against everything I have stood for.
I have never before cared what they thought.
I don't know why I did then.
I am sorry.
Please Please forgive me.
I was going to hold your hand. Yes hold it.
But I didn't.
Because I thought for a moment that you may be freaked out.
Because for some reason my hands got really warm and sweaty.
And I didn't want you to be uncomfortable.
Please forgive me.
Not for only that but also
For well... I think you can figure it out.
For everything I haven't done.
I am sorry.
My feelings are for you.
My heart is for you.
I used to hide it in a lock box.
And hide it under my bed.
But since you found me.
Or I found you.
It has been on my sleeve everyday.
Everyday I am with you.
I burn inside like there is a raging fire.
I feel like you are burning my flame.
You are making it grow.
You are pushing it along.
A rare fire that is burning inside of me.
I don't know why
I have never fallen so hard for anyone.
When I am with you.
All my worries about everything disappear.
Everything but you.
I am constantly thinking about you.
You may never know that but I do.
Yesterday, just looking at you.
I felt sad.
Knowing that this just like all the others would have to end. |
| 88 hit(s) |
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All I want is a piece of your mind |
January 8th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Sail away, sail away with me
I don't have a ship
But we could get one easily
Drift away, drift away with me
On the raft we'll make of memories
On an ocean we can call forever more
I want to find
A piece of your mind
I want to see
Your make believe
I don't want to try so hard
I make it hard for you to breathe
Jump into the ocean
Living on a notion
If you're caught up in the motion
Back track and do it again
And if you make it up
I could never get enough
Me and you together
But you've gotta tell me where to begin
Break away, break away from me
No forget that, just sit here and look at me
Summer's day
Summer every day
And we watch the sunset come back up
And somehow know it never goes back down
I've been saving up to buy more time with you
And that's okay with me
Because I know it and you know it too |
| 52 hit(s) |
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What Am I doing to you? |
January 7th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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What am I doing to you?
Tonight I looked into your eyes and almost began to cry. What am I doing to you? I see it in your smile, I don't know what I am doing to you? Why are you waiting for me?
I have so many questions. What will happen to us? Are we just going to break up? How will our relationship end? Or will it? Are we high school sweethearts? How long will we be? I am questioning myself.
I haven't ever been in relationship where the other person had the same feelings for me back. I have never met anyone like you. You are beautiful, in every way. From you eyes to your lips, to your heart.
How is it that people say that nothing in life is perfect? But when I look at you, I second guess their assumptions. Even with all of your faults, you stand out in a crowd. You are out above all others.
so basically what I am trying to say is I love you
I don't care what happens but all I know is that I would love to spend my time with you. I would love to look at you and tell you how I feel. I would love to be with you. I want to be close to you even if it is only a dream. To spend forever with you is a long time and right now I have time to spend.
So all I am saying is I LOVE YOU! |
| 81 hit(s) |
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Hello again dear |
January 7th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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A thanks to eric...
But this is for someone else eric
yes someone else...
Jenna.
For the first time in my life I don't have to try to be happy, because when I am with you it just happens. |
| 71 hit(s) |
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Hints of a better day |
January 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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28 WAYS TO MAKE A GIRL SMILE.
[1] tell her she is BEAUTIFUL. not hott or fine.
[2] hold her hand at ANY moment even if it is just for a second.
[3] KISS her on the forehead
[4] leave her voice messages to wake up to.
[5] ALWAYS tell her you love her at any & and all times.
[6] when she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to u
[7] recognize the small thingsz ..they usually mean the most.
[8] call her SWEETIE. (not baby)
[9] SING to her no matter how horrible your voice is
[10] pick her over all the OTHER girls you hang out with
[11] write her NOTES. (she loves them)
[12] introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend
[13] play with her hair.
[14] pick her up, tickle her, & PLAY WRESTLE with her.
[15] sit in the park & just TALK to her.
[16] tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her JOKES
[17] throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because u missed her.
[18] let her fall asleep in your arms
[19] carve your names into a TREE.
[20] if she`s mad. KiSS her
[21] give her piggyback rides
[22] bring her FLOWERS just because
[23] treat her the same around your friends as you do when you`re alone
[24] look her in the eyes & SMILE
[25] let her take as many pictures as she wants
[26] SLOW DANCE with her, even if there isn’t any music playin
[27] KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
[28] if you`re in love with her.. Tell her! |
| 88 hit(s) |
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Humor to a sick sense |
January 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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If men had to use tampons,
They would brag about the size that they would need
You ladies are sick!
We don't brag about everything |
| 69 hit(s) |
(3 comments) |
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Taking its toll |
January 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I know you
You guys don't think
Think I'm depressed
But the truth is
Is that I am
I just don't really
Really show it
I laugh because I don't
Don't wanna cry
Cry infront off you
All you have to
Have to do is just
Is just look into
Into these eyes of
Eyes of mine they seem
Seem to tell the story
The story of my life |
| 44 hit(s) |
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Wishes upon stars |
January 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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All of these insurmountable tasks
That lay before me
All of the firsts
And the definite lasts
That lay in store for me
There was a time
When all on my mind was love
Now I find
That most of the time
Love's not enough
In itself
Consequently
I've a tendency
To be unhappy, you see
The thoughts in my head
All the words that were said
All the blues and the reds
Get to me
All of the absurdities
That lay before us
All of the doubts
And the uncertainties
That lay in store for us |
| 59 hit(s) |
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The world |
January 5th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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hey I wrote this a long time ago so the names have no meaning ok!
How is it that if someone punches you, you feel anger or hatred towards them. How is it that love someone at a young age is wrong. What if you know that the person you think you are in love with is the last person you ever see.
Thursday 12:47 pm--
Samuel and Jenn are coming home from a school dance. Jenn is fourteen and Sam is the same. They are in love. Their parents disappoved of their relationship because of their ages. On the walk to Jenn's house the couple crosses the street. Sam says wait for Jenn's house is two houses down. They stop and just stare into each others eyes... Time slows and the world is spinning. Bright Lights! They kiss. Sam opens his eyes and ears only to hear yelling and calls of distress. He tries to sit up but someone pushes him back down. His eyes search frantically to find Jenn but she is nowhere to be seen. He feels a needle prick his arm and his vision blurs... The doors to the light close and he is overcome by darkness. Now he lies in his hospital bed crying. Both of his legs are broken and his head is cracked. But that is not why he cries... He cries for Jenn...
A drunk driver. A senior at their school. A never knowing never wondering never concerning person killed Jenn that sad night... |
| 58 hit(s) |
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Hawk Nelson |
January 5th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I saw her yesterday
And I never felt a feeling like the one I felt today
And now she's taking over me
I've never met anyone like you
Cause I never could find the words to write you
She's been on my mind (she's working overtime)
She's got perfect reasons
Says she loves to talk to Jesus
I think I'll believe her when she says
Life can be so simple if we'd all just learn to pray
She's got every little thing I wanted
And it still feels just like the day it started
I'll say goodbye to the broken-hearted
And I could never express the way I felt before tonight
She sits there all alone
She's reading from a chapter that she sometimes calls her own
And now she's taken over me
This girl I once rejected
Has now become the girl of my dreams
She's got every little thing I wanted
And it still feels just like the day it started
I'll say goodbye to the broken-hearted
And I could never express the way I felt before tonight
She's not an ordinary girl
I see it in her eyes
I'm just an ordinary boy
God must have heard my prayers last night
She's been on my mind (she's working overtime)
She's got perfect reasons, says she loves to talk to Jesus
I think I believe her when she says
Life can be so simple if we'd all just learn to pray
Every little thing I wanted
And it still feels just like the day it started
So say goodbye to the broken-hearted
And I could never express the way I felt before tonight
She's not an ordinary girl
I can see it in her eyes
I'm just an ordinary boy
God must have heard my prayers last night |
| 74 hit(s) |
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Pretty Girls |
January 5th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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What are you gonna say when she picks up the phone?
Should you leave a message if she's not at home?
I wanted to know if you'd like to see a movie or get a drink.
It would be cool just to be in your company.
But if she says yes know what intentions might be.
If one thing leads to another and there's some chemistry.
You cannot lie, you have to tell the truth.
You have to explain why this could never be, because
There are things that cannot be undone.
There are mistakes that will never be forgiven.
Sometimes at night, I pray to wake a different person in a different place.
Maybe we could just be friends.
I'm being a bit presumptuous.
The stomach churns, the mind starts to race.
You nervously start to exaggerate.
I just want to be young, I want to live.
I want to be healthy,
I don't want this problem.
You wouldn't think something like irresponsibility,
would complicate something like asking for a girl's company.
But there are things you must accept as said and done.
There are truths you must learn to confront.
You can pray all night and day.
You'll always wake the same person in the same place.
Drunk mouth ruined it again.
Sometimes I say the dumbest things.
Baby it's not you specifically it could be anybody.
I gone and built this up in my head and now it's all already over.
It's all ready before it ever started. |
| 52 hit(s) |
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I want to save you... |
January 4th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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standing on the edge of morning
scent of sex and new found glory
playing as she's pulling back her hair
she drives away
she's feeling worthless
used again but nothing's different
she'd stay the night
but knows he doesn't care
home by three
deafening quiet
the porch light's off
yes they forgot it
she'd cry herself to sleep
but she don't dare
and she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful
i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you
dressed by dawn and out the door
no light
she memorized the floor
so she could leave without being detected
she works till three
it's uniform
she dreams that he'll come by the store
she prays for days
when boys mean she's protected
and she wants someone to see her
she needs to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful
i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you
and she won't sleep
she won't sleep
and she won't sleep
at all
i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
|
| 52 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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I dare you |
January 4th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Hello, let me introduce you to
The characters in the show
One says yes, one says no
Decide - which voice in your head you can keep alive
Even in madness, I know you still believe
Paint me your canvas so I become
What you could never be
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
Brand my soul and call me a liar
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to
Hello, are you still chasing
The memories in shadows
Some stay young, some grow old
Come alive, there are thoughts unclear
You can never hide
Even in madness, I know you still believe
Paint me your canvas so I become
What you could never be
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
Brand my soul and call me a liar
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to
Hello
Hello...
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
Brand my soul and call me a liar
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to
Hello...
Hello...
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to |
| 53 hit(s) |
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mhm... |
January 4th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Thought I was dreaming
My heart stopped beating
But I’ve got this feeling
That I was put here for you
I’ve got a secret
But you won’t believe it
But I’ve got this feeling
That I was put here for you |
| 46 hit(s) |
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Psycho |
January 4th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Yeah hey everybody
You all may not know me but that is fine
Yeah mhm....
This kid keeps leaving me comments and ummm...
He left me like 15 comments and I found that a little distrubing.
Yeah he supposedly he thinks that I am his friend and I have enough real friends and I don't need his shit right now
so when he reads this I hope he will find some one else to pester have a nice day
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| 68 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Fall of babylon |
January 2nd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Yes i stole this but it is cool so there
girls practically throw their panties at me when I tell them I know how to network computers. |
| 85 hit(s) |
(20 comments) |
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Warp |
January 2nd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
|
| 50 hit(s) |
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Intoralble Cruelty |
January 2nd, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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I am sorry Jenna
It is my fault I know.
It isn't that you aren't pretty enough
It is that you are so beautiful.
Some times I wonder what makes me worthy to be liked by you.
On friday, I was pretty sure that I didn't deserve you.
I am afraid that you may never understand how I feel about you.
Sure I can tell you but it isn't the same as telling you.
Today I sat there and stared at you and came up with really good ideas but as you can probably figure out I wasn't able to fulfill them
So after those moments when I should have kissed you. I feel like a failure. And I am I know it. I can't simply kiss the girl that I like. What is wrong with me? |
| 60 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Shitty 2006 |
January 1st, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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Oh wow!
This is what it feels like to be in 2006.
Just like yesterday.
I hope that everybody had a blast on New Years
Because that would make you better than me.
My New Years sucked
I hated it.
I say that I had a sweet time and that it was fun but I was lying.
I hated it.
I could see that my guests hated it as well. Which makes me feel worse.
So anyway,
I am upset to hear that Jenna didn't have a good new years either. Mostly because she said that she has never had a good new years before so hmm...
Right now I am doing the laundry but I am not trying very hard, only because I hate doing it.
I wish that everyone who I loved would be happy. They may not understand me, or feel the same way but I do want everyone to be happy. I bothers me when people are upset and I can't do anything to help them. I feel sometimes like it is my fault.
Today I had no fun what so ever
I had the worst time that I have had in a while. I was instructed to do my homework and study and shit. but I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing so I said FUCK IT!
Earlier this morning I was told that I couldn't see Jenna and I was pissed. I felt like shit the rest of the day. I still do, I haven't seen her in two days. I think that I am going crazy. I have talked to her so that helps but sometimes it isn't the same. I should have told her how I feel. I should have.
And so now I realize what my life will consist of. Should haves and have beens. My life will be filled with regret. Why didn't I just kiss her and show her how I feel?
Why do I have to fear that she won't like me anymore for knowing who I am.
Well, I am afraid pretty much all of the time.
I never really understand what is going on. I say stuff that sometimes doesn't make any sense because that is how I am feeling at that moment. I love to listen I love to hear explantions. I love to just listen in general.
However I hate when I can't help the people with the problems they have.
One more thing before I finish is I really don't like being at home. |
| 59 hit(s) |
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New Years |
December 31st, 2005 @ 12:00am |
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