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Its hard to be a saint in the city |
August 3rd, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: David Bowie
Feeling: annoyed
Can that hold true to Boise? I suppose...beings as everyone AND their dog does meth. Its so bad, there are a million commercials on that are way disturbing and kinda ruin the TV for anyone who doesn't do it.
So Im slightly drunk...but not really, but kinda sorta. I havent had a good Sam Adams in a while, and Ive gobbled down a few...
I suppose Im mad at Chuck at the moment. I keep trying to get ahold of him, and he just ignores me. Not to mention my whole entire family does not want to see me, old friend wont answer my calls. It kinda sucks. I havent had any ganj since thursday, and its killer. All I wanr ro so is relax and be mellow. Pish. Yeah right.
I keep seeing a commerical for girls gone wild, and its irritating.
I might go to a b=day party of someone who has mutual friends as myself, and I just want to get all gussied up and do to Chuck as he has done to me. I prolly cant, but whatever. Hes not here, and other...kinder people are. He wont talk to me, and I really need someone to communicate with, and no ones wants to. Am I that bad? I know Im kinda bad...but to be ignored by my own family? When I call all those godforsaken fuckers they ignore me. So my family hates me to.
I swear there is a ghost in this house. I keep glancing stuff out of the corner of my eye...and no I am not THAT drunk. Just buzzed, and I saw it before I started drinking.
EWWWWWWWWWWW. Pulp Fiction is on, and its the sick part with the two guys and that black guy.
Who knows where my life is going.
I must be bi-polar, if my last entry was all sunshine ands giggles. |
| 8 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Lets Dance
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Woah |
August 2nd, 2008 @ 12:00am |
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When do you really know that an era has died? Is is at the downward slope, the revolution, or maybe when the next era is almost over?
Wow, ma filles! Over a year and I find myself a changed person. I feel like shit for everything I have done, and no matter what, those bridges can never be rebuilt. If only my darling Charlie could read and believe this. The fact that I stomped on everybody does not leave my mind, but I have found a peace, so to speak, and her name is Beatrice Lynn. My daughter.
She is over a year now, her birthday being May 29. Surprisingly, I am in California at the moment, but Im visiting with Bea. I have my own house in Boise, Idaho with my husband and our roommate(I kid you not) named Jesus. Life is great. I got off the pills after I went back to Boise, when Bea was 6 months old, and havent touched them since. Drinking, however, has slightly replaced that. But beings as I only have a beer here and there, I think its alright.
I wish someone would respond to this, though I doubt it. I am so out of touch with everybody here, and yes...it was my own doing and now I hate myself for it. I find myself wandering, remembering happy times, but there is no one to share those memories with, and they end up weighing me down so far, that I am almost depressed/nostalgic.
I hope whoever should read this finds that I am not the same person I used to be. To be perfectly frank, I have grown up.
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| 11 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Lets Dance
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Whisper words of wisdom |
May 11th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: The Beatles - Let It Be
I was watching Chuck play Halo2, and this chick on there sounded so much like Livvy that it reminded me of this old thing.
1. Im in Idaho.
2. Baby is due next month
3. Greg, Chucks brother is the hospital for trying suicide by tylenol, and prolly needs a liver transplant
4. I got a cat named Chaos. She likes to lick then lay on my face in the middle of the night, then jump on the curtains when Im sweeping.
5. I hate it here.
6. Im going back to Barstow in a week
7. Chuck is joing the Navy after Beatrice is born
8. I have an overdue library book. I intend on keeping it, beings as Im leaving.
9. I have cold or cough or something that wont go away.
10. I think Im going to Boise to see Greg today, but the suicide watch guy is creepy, and Chuck doesn't really want to go because he thinks his brother is stupid.
I think thats about it. |
| 44 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Lets Dance
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This aint Hitler's master plan |
February 20th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Sublime - Same in the End
1. When is the last time you held hands with someone?
yesterday
2. What should you be doing right now?
looking up whats wrong with my computer
3. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yeah, when we locked the keys in the house
4.Where is your mom?
laying on her bed, pissed because I want to wait until Chuck is home to watch the Prestige
5. Morning or night person?
night, or maybe afternoon
6. Last movie you saw in theaters?
Actually, I think it was Pirates of the Caribbean
7. Do you have a crush on anybody now?
No
8. Any cool scars?
I dont think they are cool
9. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
same sex: Maybe their figure. Opposite sex, their eyes and hair
10. What is the first thing you do when no one is looking?
take a drag from a cigarette
11. Ever been in love?
I am in love.
12. What's one thing your friends make fun of you for?
Well, my tendency to be bossy and controlling. In fact, they have started calling me Hitler, and hailing me.
13. What is your curfew?
depends on how psycho my mother is feeling.
14. Would you ever dye your hair red?
I have. Bright Ariel red
15. You + alcohol =
Tipsy after a while, and giggly. But I dont drink anymore
16. What's your worst personality flaw?
Controlling, probably.
17. What career do you wish to take in?
WRITING
19. Do you want a well paying job or one you enjoy?
Both
20. Do you wish to have the same best friends when you're older?
The only friend I have that isnt Chuck's friend 100% too is Codi, and I suppose yeah.
21. do u believe in needing a religion?
I think people need religion to fulfull their mundane lives and to comfort their insecurities when dealing with things they dont understand or cant handle.
22. What did you wear today?
jeans and shirt that will accomodate my stomach
25. Do you like math?
no.
26. What about history?
Best subject
27. Have you ever seen 5 squirrels at one time?
No, just the old granddaddy squirrel that antagonizes my dogs and eats all my plants
28. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Tcha. No.
30. Did your grandpa fight in a war?
Yeah, WWII and Korea.
31. Who's your favorite person to talk to online?
I cant talk to anyone online anymore, because of my stupid computer, but I guess Frank.
32. Have you ever used photo bucket?
Yeah
33. Do you like hugs?
Not really. I feel like Im going to suffocate.
34. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:
I have a husband
35. Do you want to be a doctor?
I actually do not like doctors. Maybe because of their God-like complex
36. Have you ever fallen asleep with gum in your mouth?
No, I dont really like gum
37. What do you do right before you go to bed?
Read
38. What do you do right when you get out of bed?
Eat
39. Do you love your parent(s)?
Sometimes
40. What music are you listening to right now?
Sublime, again
41. Do you want to be famous?
Maybe for my writing, or my eccentricities.
42. Do you spend a lot of time contemplating life's unanswerable questions?
Only dealing with death
44. What do you do on the weekends?
Hang out with Austin or Codi
45. How are your grades?
Not in school anymore.
46. Do you hate anyone?
I have it narrowed down to 4558725 people. Just kidding. Only two.
47. Name 3 things you love to do on the weekends?
Watch Chuck and Austin bowl.
Watch Chuck and Austin play dominoes
Hang out with Codi, while watching Chuck and Austin bowl and/or play dominoes
48. Name 3 things you hate that people do:
1. Trash talk with no reason
2. Trash talk my music
3. Complain about all their petty problems
49. Who would you like to meet?
DAVID BOWIE
50. Do you like surveys?
sometimes.
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| 8 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Lets Dance
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