Wow I remember when this website used to be the happanen thing in my day. How times does fly and things get older. Speaking of getting older it was my birthday this week! YAY! I'm 19 now, which is awesome! Today is going to be great! I can feeeeel it! I have mine and jills party and Daniel is coming up from salt lake to see me! Woot!!! I gots myself a puppy and he's amazingly cute! Jill gave it to me. His name is Juno. I love him! Anyway, have a great one everybody who still goes to this website!
So I'm pretty darn happy! I'm glad that Brady went back with his girlfriend. I didn't want him anyway. I like the fact that I'm not so dramatic anymore when it comes to crushes hurting me and choosing someone else. It's very nice! It's like I can handle it really well! It's about time! I think I'm growing up a little!!! YAY!!!! So I'm thinking about going down to SUU with Christa in August and going to school there. I think it will be fun! I'm all sorts of excited about it! We'll I just got done shoveling mine and my neighbors driveways so I'm not really in the mood to type right now, so I'll see ya'll later!
Just as I pradicted, He's back with his girlfriend. I'm not going to cry. Crying is stupid. I've cried over boys doing this to me way to much, so I don't feel like it's worth it to shed anymore. Oh well...
These are lyrics from a song. It's how I'm feeling right now.
Crossfade- Aleady gone
I will not leave a letter nothing at all I’m sure you wont notice that I’m even gone
I wont break this silence we’ve shared for so long
I will be strong....
I will not leave a letter nothing at all I’m sure you wont notice that I’m even gone
why did I stay here stay for so long when we’re so far gone
I feel so stupid taking this fall
I should have seen it known all along wont break the silence we’ve shared for so long
I will be strong
What could you possibly want from me cant you see I’m already gone
when everything we thought we’d be I still don’t feel sorry for this loss
I will not waste a moment thinking these thoughts forgetting comes easy I never cared at all
hurt became hate and now I’m feelin’ the strain
there’s just too much pain
fell into pieces got swept away
left all our pictures some to fade
wont break this silence we’ve shared for so long
I will be strong
What could you possibly want from me cant you see I’m already gone everything we thought we'd be I still don’t feel sorry for this loss
You don’t have to say anything at all
I wont stop you from walking away I’ll do nothing at all
Sitting here I waste a day while the memories fade away you know I expected so much more from you...
Crossfade- Broken like an angel
She was a queen
Lost within a dream
Misconceived that he was fit to reign
Lies take victims
Separate them at the seams
Cause them to fall apart
Then move along to better things now
She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that
He's
Satisfied to own her
No time permits to open up
When you've been hiding thoughts so strong
She's been holding out for an angel to come along
No reply from the sky
But she just keeps looking up
She just keeps looking up now
She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that he
He's
Satisfied to own her
She'll never know love's true potential
Lost in the open wind
To his impatience
Never feeling they would fall apart
She let her feelings grow
To tears she'll never show now
She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that he
He's
Satisfied to own her
You know he couldn't see
That she could be his everything
Bringing light to everything now
Oh
She just wants to
Fall in love again
She's broken like an angel
Well, that whole almost relationship thing didn't last long haha! We're already losing interest. Fun hu! Well, that's ok, there's a few guys I like and I'm not about to risk my awesome life time for someone who I just met! I went to brads farewell stuff this weekend! It was awesome! I saw lots of people whom I have missed like CRAZY! Brad, Emily, Landen, Moo, Josh, Jerry, and Nate!!! I haven't seen landen since...well...FOREVER! So It was awesome seeing him, I think he was the only one I hadn't seen in forever. So, we played games, ate food, hung out and laughed a ton! Man, I hope we don't lose touch! I love me friends! Anyway, I'm not with it right now. I'm....bleh. I think I got too much sleep this morning. Well, talk to you guys ha-later!
Britney Francis
Sigh, ok, so there is this guy I met about 3 weeks ago from this sunday and he is....in a word...AMAZING! Holy crap! I didn't know I could like someone so fast who I have just met! He is so sweet! We act like we're together, but we're not. I guess it's because both of us are bad at break ups and we don't want that haha! I have never met anyone like him! And he's actually NORMAL!!!!! All of the guys I've dated has had some seriouse issues, but this one is actually.....NORMAL!!!!! It's like, gah! I can't even explain it! WOOO! I'm sooo happy! He's pretty much perfect, how great is that! Anyway, I better stop before I start getting to the cheesy side of my feelings!
So I work night owls now and I LUB IT! I'm so hyper right now! I hope it stays wilth me throughout work! I need it! And I hope we get done early today! HOLY FREAKING CRAP MY LIFE IS AMAZING RIGHT NOW!!!! GAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! To tell you the honest to goodness truth, I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY!
Ok, so I should go and do stuff of no value what....so...ever! Like check my beloved myspace! Or my other beloved facebook! And check those at least 10 times for no good reason! :D It is great beyond words!
OOOO! OOOOOOOOOO! Then I'll go play X-Box! Woot!!! Anyway I'll write more later maybe....Course...I could be lying about that..... Bye bye friends!
~Britney Francis~
My eyes are closing slowly! This night owl shift is killing me!!! But I love it!!! so, life.... i'm supposed to marry bryan in 6 years but i dont want to and...... i dont want to!!! what do i do? i am talking on the phone and typing with one hand, its interesting!!!! anyway, i'm going to go and hang out wid my home dog lauren! loves to all!!!
britney francis
Ps. my hair is completely different. look for a photo on my facebook
Well, hello there. Wow! Life sucks, but it's good at the same time....I guess... Drama out of highschool! Man! Can you believe it! Just a note kids, the drama doesn't get left behind in highschool right away! Just to warn ya! So...... BRACE YOURSELVES!!!!!! I'm so tired! I didn't get much sleep last night. Bryan and I broke up. So yeah, interesting. Anyway, I'm going to eat sunday dinner with the fam-damily!
Britney Francis
My mom left us. She's not coming back. She got sick of us and moved to St. George with my grandma. She's getting a job there. It's my fault. It's always my fault! No matter what I do I always end up messing up! I have never done anything right worth showing for! My get away right now is caffeine. I've already chugged a starbucks double shot espresso and now I'm drinking a pomegranate rockstar in a champagne flute. My next drink of choice is a starbucks vanilla frappachino waiting for me in my upstairs fridge. And I'm not even a fan of coffee!!! I'm not a good person! I won't get what I want because I don't deserve it! My boyfriends worried about me lasting through the night. He wouldn't even hardily let me out of his car! I love Bryan to death, I wouldn't hurt him like that, but I'm afraid I'll break my promise. But I'll try not to. Why am I even here? Why do I matter? All I'm doing in my life is messing it up!!!! I'm no good! I don't even have that many friends anymore! I'm no good! So why should I stay here!?!?!? I see no point or reason! I don't make dents in the world! I just stand on it waiting for something to happen because I'm to damn lazy to pick up a hammer and start working my way through life! I'll never be anything! So what's the point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Britney
Ok, so this thing I'm going to tell you about doesn't really fit the title, but part of it does. I broke up with Landon on the lagoon trip and it actually went really well! I thought it would be horrible, but him and I are taking it really well! I am actually REALLY happy!!!!! It's kind of fun just being a player and not exclusive! I won't get into those details lol, but I am really really happy right now!!!! I love it!!! That's pretty much all I've got to say!
Britney Francis
wow! It's been a long time since i've written! Woo!!!!! Well, my life is to complicated to tell you what has been going on, but yeah, I'm gradg-i-tating! WOOOOT!!! I'm so excited!!!! Well, I love you all and I'll see you around! Cheers
Britney Fracis
Well, I haven't written in this in a while....no one has actually! So I guess I'm not that out of date...maybe.
Well I'm in Dig right now. I still need to take my pictures for "Old things". My favorite subject for photography!!!! YAY!
School is sucking, but I'm going to get all A's for the first time EVER!!
Landon and I have been arguing a lot lately. I figured out that the reason behind it is because we are both VERY argumentative and hard headed! We NEVER Give up! It sucks, but it's kind of funny.
I got a job at the Golden Corral! My first day was yesterday. I watched 4 hours of movies! It was great! *rolls eyes* But my first real day is on saturday/tomorrow. I'm excited!!!
Wow! It's been a LONG TIME!!!! I don't have time to do this often! Oh well........I don't have anything to say...I'm bord....I think I'll change my background and stuff...
It's one twenty six in the A M people! I know! I'm pretty tired as of this second right now. I kind of want to go to bed n' stuff, but ya know, sleep is for sucks! And I am not a suck!
Have you ever had those wigged out moments when you are so tired that you start to see hallucinations and crap. Well, right now, as I type, a small version of Michael Jackson is running up my computer screen looking for his car keys. It's kind of messed up and creepy, but hey! Who wouldn't want a small version of Michael Jackson running up there computer screen looking for his car keys?!?! I know I wouldn't!!!
So, I kind of want Landon right now. He's the shiz. He's pretty darm awesome! That's right! I just said darm! It's the new word that's going around these days. That and Shik! It's Fuzzen nutts!!!!
Well, my bed is calling to me and stuff, so I better answer its call and feed it me for the night.
Holy mother! The dance was AMAZING!!! I wore such a pretty dress and Landon looked HOTT!!! Wow! He's so good looking!
For the date we made pizzas. Landon and I made ours into a tent. Hehe, it was an "in-tents" pizza! *giggle giggle*
Then after that I took Landon home and then went to my house to do my hair. I did it all by myself and it was very painful, but SO worth it!!! Then I picked up Niki and Landon and then Peter. My car was COMPLETELY out of gas, so we went to fill it with 5 bucks worth of gas. Everyone was already at my house for dinner, so we had to book it!
We finally made it to my house and we were the last ones to show up. At MY house! Haha! But the dinner was awesome! The people in my group were, Emily, Jerry, Kory, Josh, Jessica, Taylor (From MC), Garrick, Breeann, Moo moo, Austin, Peter, Niki, Hal, Jason, Landon and I.
So after we ate, we went to the dance. We finally found the place and we took the carriage ride up to the door. It was cute. Landon was cold though. I tried to make him warm. I hope it worked.
We went inside and went to the ballroom. The first song Landon and I danced to was a slow song. Hehe! We touched our foreheads together and danced, staring into each others eyes without saying a word. The look between us was conversation enough.
When the song was over he kissed me. We did that a lot!!! Then we went to find the rest of our group and they were getting their pictures taken. We paid just in time to get in the group one with them. It was cute!
Then Landon and I went and sat down on the chairs cause my feet hurt. Throughout the WHOLE night he was saying such sweet things!!!! He is soooo adorable!!!!
They played a song at the dance that Chris Doriouse wrote. It was beautiful. I think it was called make it last forever. Landon and I danced really slowly to that song. The words were exactly what I needed to hear. In my head, as we danced, I asked the Lord, "Is this right?" Then the final words convinced me that it was right. I can't remember them, but I got a really good feeling when I heard them. I wanted to cry. At the end of the song, he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Forever". I wanted to melt!
Emily, Jerry, Landon and I wanted to go and get a drink. So when we went we found really comfy leather seat and a BIG screen TV!!!! We sat there for about 10 minutes and just watched TV! It was GREAT!!!!!
Then we danced the last song and I took Peter home. He said that he would take Niki home, so I let him.
I then took Landon home and walked him to his door. He was so sweet! He said, "Thank you for taking me. I couldn't ask for a better person to go with! You are so beautiful..." and stuff like that! I loved it!!! I kissed him goodnight and I went in my car and drove home. As I was leaving he was standing at his window with his hand on the pane and just smiled at me and watched me leave until I was out of sight! Sigh!!!
I almost fell asleep on the way home, but I'm still living! I almost slept in my dress!! Haha! But I had just enough energy to put on my PJ's, say my prayers and read one verse of scripture.
It was one of the best nights of my life!
Britney Francis
P.S. I'm having a BIG B-day party here at the Richmond City building ball room. I'm going to be 18 and my little sister is going to be 16. It's at 6:30-10:30 p.m.! It will be a semi formal dance and there is going to be free pictures that will be mailed to your homes, A DJ, and LOTS of food and stuff! So come if you want! It's this Friday on the 9th!
I don't even know why I started a new entry. I have nothing to write and I have a headache. I've been finding lately that whenever I start to write something, I just stop because I feel sick and I don't want to do it.
I love writing and it makes me sad that I'm never in the mood to do it anymore! I used to write all the time!!!! But now...I guess...I'm just to lazy!!!
Hopefully it stops though. I want to write again.
Life is amazing!!!! It's to the point where I'm like, "Ok, I'm happier than I have ever been in my entire life!!! So when is the really bad thing that's going to ruin it all going to come?" You know, cause whenever your completely happy, there always has to be something to ruin it! I don't know what, but there's got to be something!!!!
I wish nothing would ruin it, but it's how life goes, so I might as well just sit and wait for it to come and take it like a MAN.......woman.....
He holds me. He holds me like a little baby and just kisses me on my face and strokes my hair. I love it when he does that. I told him, "You act like you really love me." And he said, "It's because I do!" We laughed. I said, "I know that, but...ya know...you treat me like you love me. No other guy treats me like this. You cherish me! I've never had that." He smiled and kissed me. He said, "You deserve it." I love him!
I told Landon that I couldn't ask him to the dance. (Which is now changed! So I'm going to ask him soon) My mom said that I couldn't afford it, so she said I couldn't go. So I told Landon at the B-ball game on Thursday and he said that we'll find a way. I told him sorry that I couldn't take him. After the game I walked him to his car. He turned it on and a song came on. I think he had planned it.
So the song was Like I am from Rascal Flatts. Then he said, "Well, since you can't go to the dance, we'll have our own dance right here." So he took me in his arms and we danced to this beautiful song! He would kiss my face and my mouth and whisper in my ear how much he loved me! If I was made out of ice instead of flesh, I would have melted faster than you could say Britney Francis!
Right at the end of the song, he gave me a long kiss while picking me up and putting me down! It was sooooooooooooooooo cute!!!! He said that the song we danced to was his song to me!
After that I just wanted to cry because it was the best and most tender moment I have EVER had in my entire life!!!! But I didn't until I got home.
The song went like this,
Lying here with you
I watch you while you sleep
The dawn is closing in
With every breath you breathe
I can feel the change
The change you've made in me
But will I ever see
All the things you see in me
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am
When it comes to love
I may not know the rules
But there's one thing I know
My heart belongs to you, just you
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am
You show me you love me
With a fire that burns deep inside
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am
-- I am
I'll never understand
I don't think I'll ever understand
Why you love me
Why you love me just like I am
It was the most perfect song!!!
Sometimes when I'm with him, I just stare at him and think, "Will I be able to stay with him forever? Is this the right choice?" Then, at the perfect moment, he says things and holds me, letting me know that it is right! I don't know how to explain it, but I just can't imagine my life without him!
I was with him last night, and we were watching a movie at his house. We were eating food and I was really tired! So I just laid down and almost fell asleep, but I couldn't because I couldn't take my eyes off of him!
I asked him, "Landon, Will we be like this even when we're 40?" Then he smiled at me and laid next to me, hugging me and said, "Yes. And I when you wake up every morning while we're married, I'll watch you sleep until you wake up. Just like this. I would love to wake up like this."
Landon called me last night at around 11:00pm. I was texting him before he called and I was telling him that I want the spiritual side back. After I sent him that, he called me and we talked about what has been going on. He agrees with me and has been thinking a lot like I have. The kissing has become too much and we both agree that it needs to stop.
While we were talking, he started to get into his pains. It was really bad. It lasted about an hour or two. The whole time I was on the phone with him he was in pain and he couldn't breath. I started to cry because I was scared. He said, "Please don't cry" I told him that I wasn't, but he wouldn't buy it. I would just sit there and tell him how much I wanted to be there with him just to hold him and sing to him, to let the pain subside just a little. He said that he wished I was there too.
I had been praying for him to feel better the whole time, asking the Lord to take the pain away, to fill his lungs with air. I told Landon that I was praying for him, and he thanked me for it. I was still crying and he said, "Don't cry. You're going to make me cry." I told him that I was scared because he told me that the doctor told him that if he is in that kind of pain that he can't fall asleep or else he might not wake up. And he said that the last time he had this pain this much that he passed out and he woke up in a wheel chair the next day.
I told him that if I could I would take his pain away and make me feel it because that's how much I love him. And he said something that made me cry really hard, because in a strange way it was an answer to my prayers. He said, "If you took my pain away, I would just take it right back." And I just started to cry really hard. I don't know why, but the spirit was with me so strong. And I told Landon later on in the conversation what I had felt and why. And he said, "You know what. Just hearing that I felt really good. Like a good feeling inside me. And it helps with the pain."
He told me a lot in a breathless voice that I could barely understand that he loved me. He said, "I love you so much. I would do anything for you. You are everything to me and I couldn't ask for anything more." And he said a lot more. It made me cry and I told him that I would do anything for him and how much I loved him.
Then he had to go and he said, "Thank you for talking to me. I'm glad I called you or else I wouldn't be awake right now." I told him, "Anytime. I love you."
We hung up and I felt so much better about everything! It's just one of those moments where you KNOW for sure that everything will be all right no matter what.
Have we lost the spiritual side of the relationship? That was my favorite part. I miss it. I miss talking to him about it. I miss seeing the love for the savior in his eyes. It's still there, but it's not shinning bright like it used to. The Kissing has become too much. It's made the light in his eyes fade away a little. I don't want it to fade away. The Lord is more important than me. And I hope he still knows that.
He looks at me, wanting me, thinking things he shouldn't be thinking. He's a guy though. It's expected.
He looks at me with deep love in his eyes. The kind of look that makes me know that everything will be alright and that his love is pure. But it's just those thoughts. He's shared them with me. They flatter me, but at times, I don't want to hear it. I just want him to hold me tight. No lips touching, just him holding me. Holding me and whispering in my ear that he loves me like he does every once in a while. He doesn't do it as often anymore. He still looks at me with those eyes and tells me to my soul that he loves me. But then he kisses me with that passionate kiss that only married couples should share. I don't want that kiss sometimes. I want that kiss where it's soft and full of love. Not lust.
He gives me those kisses from time to time. But the lust is taking over.
I have to stop it. I have to tell him. I like the lust too much. I don't want to like it, but oh...I do! That's what's bad about it. I like it way to much, and so does he.
I want the spiritual love we had back. I want my Landon for eternity back. I want the Landon who looks at me straight in the eyes, with only pure love in them, who says, "I want to be with you for eternity. No matter what it takes. I love the Lord more than you, but you are my second. You will always be my second." I want that more than anything! I don't want him thinking things he shouldn't just because my lips and my touch are so desirable to him.
He says that I'm the best kisser he has ever kissed, and he meant it. And I have to say, I have never kissed anyone like I've kissed Landon Humpherys. I like it a lot. But I have to control myself. He has to be a worthy missionary! I will be worthy, and he WILL be worthy!
I GOT A CELL PHONE FOR CHRISTMAS!!! YAYAYAY!!!! It's a varizon Motorolla Razor phone! I can only text varizon users for free and call them for free though. So yeah. Landon got a cell phone too, but it's not varizon. So when he texts me it costs me texts. I have 500 text a month for non-varizon users and unlimited for varizon users. So if I give my number to anyone not on varizon, don't text me or call me! You can call me after 9pm on weekdays and all day sat. and sun. But that's it!
I got a lot of cool stuff!! I got cloths, a radio for my shower from my grandma, a candle, hot curlers, shoes, and lots of other things!
From Landon I got a big band swing Cd that I have wanted for forever, a shirt that says "I found my love in utah" that has pictures on it and a little green jeep! Hahaha! I got from him lotion, a car with santa and his raindeer in it that sings Low rider that me and him played with at wal-mart forever, a stuffed puppie that had a blanket in it's arms that I can use, the dave matthews band centeral park live concert cd and dvd, and his family got my family a board game! All I got his family was bread! How lame am I!!!!
Anyway! My christmas was awesome! I hope all of yours was too!! Love you all!!!
I'm in Cowleys class right now. Woot! Were having a cheese and crackers day and we're watching Wallace and Gromit. It was my idea! I love it!! I'm on the Lap Top! Sweet!!! Anyway, I want to finish eating cheese and crackers and watching the movie! MUCH LOVE!!!
Oh wow! Tonight was just...WOW! OH WOW! Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes!!!! Oh man! Oh yes! It was just wow! I can't describe it any better than that! It was fantastic, magnificent, sweet, breathtaking, mind blowing, splended....just....WOW!!!! Man! I'm so happy! I am good! WOOT!!!!!! I'm in love!
Gosh! I just want to dance! I think it would be SOO FREAKING COOL to be an Irish dancer! Or a pro. swing dancer! YEAH BOYEE!!!
I was watching home video's today instead of doing homework which I should do.
GOSH I'M SOOO HAPPY!!! WOOO!!!! I LOVE HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HECK YES!
Christmas is coming! Ain't that exciting! Yeah, you know it is!
I love being random! I just want to spin and run around and jump! I want to frolic in the lilies! PURPLE LILIES WITH BLUE SPECKALS!! YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Well, I need to go....no...I REALLY need to go! So I'll leave! *Zooms out of the room while the people reading this wonder how I was typing and leaving the room at the same time.*
Have you ever just wanted to be a puppy? I love puppies. I think it would be fun to just run around, bark, jump into peoples laps, lick their face, roll around on the floor, beg for attention, run around smiling and just going spastic!!!!........oh.....wait.....I already do that..........WEEE!!!!!!!! *Closes eyes tight and quickly makes arms go up and down really fast like while slightly sticking out toungue*!!!! GLOWING IN THE DARK, LIGHTING UP THE PARK!!!! *yawn*
According to scientists, a chicken can't officially be "fried", so to speak, because their inner Jubalentsy isn't balance to the proportions of the chicken's body. It is a proven fact that when they fly high in the air that they fall down really fast. It might look like they can't fly. But they are so fast that it might LOOK as if they are only jumping a foot or two, but if you look under a microscope, you will see that it fly's at LEAST 2000 feet in the air!
Oh my gosh!!! I had the funnest night on Thursday! I haven't been on in a while, and it was a while ago when Thursday night was present, but oh well.
So, Landon wanted me to go ice-skating with him, his sister, is niece and nephews, his mom and his dad on Thursday. Of course I said yes because I've always heard about his sister and his niece and nephews. So he picked me up and I went to his house and I ate dinner there. His Niece and sister already knew my name. I thought it was funny.
When we were eating his sister said, "Yeah, we've heard a lot about you. It's not like Landon doesn't talk about you all the time!" I laughed and looked at Landon. We smiled.
His niece would talk to me and we would laugh! She is SOOOO CUTE!! And his nephews are adorable! The youngest, Tanner, had the BIGGEST brown eyes! And Chase was just a goof ball! I absolutely loved them and his sister is awesome!!! She was so nice! So, Landons family and I just talked throughout dinner until it was time to go ice-skating.
I helped clean up after dinner, which Landon didn't want me to do, but I did anyways cause I didn't want him mom or just him cleaning up. So, after that I helped Hanna, his niece, put on her coat and we left. I road with Landon and his parents and Shanna, his sister, and her kids went in Shanna's van.
When we got to the ice-skating place, we started to...well...ice-skate of course!! Hehe! It was soooo much fun!!!! Shanna watched everyone on the bleachers while Tanner slept and the rest of us ice-skated. Landon and I helped Hanna around the rink! Man, that girl can talk! She's so cute! I miss them! Anyways. After an hour, Landon's mom said that it was mine and Landons turn to go ice-skating by ourselves. So, he took my hand and we ice-skated around for awhile, then Hanna wanted to go around one more time before we had to leave.
After we turned in our skates and got our shoes back, we went to Charlie's and got ice cream. Chase kept making funny faces and smiling, then he all of the sudden got a really serious face on...then he started to laugh again cause Landon and I started to laugh! He would do that the whole time we were there! Then he got ice cream on Shanna's coat!
We finally left and went back to Landon's house. His Mom wanted to show me her Carousel collection and to show her grandchildren as well. There was this one that she got out that played Christmas music! It was so cute! I asked Shanna if I could take Tanner out of his baby seat, and she said I could, so I took him out, put him on my knee and he bounced on my knee while watching the carousel. He would smile at me and just wiggle like none other! Then Landon would try to make him smile, but he mostly just stared at him. I laughed because it was funny that I could make his nephew smile and not him. But he did get a few smiles out of him. A lot actually. Just not as much at me. ;)
When I was holding Tanner and talking to his sister and his mom and playing with Hanna and Chase, Landon would sneakily graze his fingers over my knee and look at me as if to say, "I really love you." Without actually saying the words. But actions speak louder than words. It was cute!
Then he took me home and for awhile we had told each other that we haven't really had a good "make-out" kiss before. I mean, he has with Erin and I have with Landen H. But never with each other.
So he took me to my garage and he said, "Why are we going through your garage?" I said, "Well, the front door is broken, but I just want to kiss you before you leave." Then he leaned in and that's when we both found out how we REALLY kiss! HOLY MOTHER OF WOW! He is a freaking good kisser! GAH!!! It wasn't very long, but it was long enough to know that he really could kiss! Then he said, "Was that all you had?" I said, "Meh. You?" And he said, "I could have tried harder." Then I smiled slyly and motioned him to come closer and he said, "Oh boy!" And I gave him the best kiss I had in me! It was....wow! Oh wow!
So, that ended my night! It was so much fun!!!! Welp, have a good one everyone!
Why is it that the people you love most and the people who you think are your friends, are just your friends to butt into your business as if it were their own? People just need to learn to deal with their own lives instead of prying into everyone else's! Everything has changed, and the only good things in my life are The gospel, my family and Landon. And some of my friends, but I've lost a lot of them just because I made the choice to be with Landon, Knowing FULL well what I was getting myself into! I'm not stupid everyone! I know what I got myself into and I'm SOOO grateful that I did! Because he treats me better than any of my other friends.
My only good friends now are Niki, Peter, Moo moo, Nate, Christa, Brad, Lauren and Landon.
All I ever did was love someone, and look what Satan has done to the world. It has made everyone hate everyone JUST BECAUSE of one choice! I'm not saying that I haven't been affected by it. I have! But I'm working on it and so is Landon! We've talked a lot and we both want the gospel to be the major thing in our lives. And that's what we're doing!!!!
Anyway, this is the Last entry I'm writing about the subject, so if any of you say things that are mean or hurtful, I'm just going to ignore you and be happy, because I AM happy!!
To much to handle:
By Britney Francis,
I see them pass me by, without a word they speak,
they think they know my life, and how it's played out to be,
but they do not know the inside, the thoughts that I do hide,
they do not see the hurt, that is welling up inside,
they do not see the anger, that is welling inside of me,
they do not see the sorrow that they themselves bring to me, they do not see the pain that is welling in my eyes,
they do not see past back when, all they see is lies,
I walk down the path, knowing where I should go,
but these people that pass by me, try to slow me down as I go,
they think they know the truth, and what is going on in my life,
but the only thing they see, is what they want to see in their minds,
they see a man in shackles, bound to his mistakes,
they see a man who's hated, who cannot correct the wrongs he has made,
but what I see is what matters, for my blindfold is un bound,
for I see the man who brought me up instead of down, I see the man who lifted me,
who made me better than what I was, I see a man who saw me,
who never judged me once, I see a man whom I will love forever,
who will never leave me alone, I see a man who loves me back and who will never let me go,
so I walk this road still more, holding my lovers hand,
for if he didn't lift me up and save me, I would be lost and forever banned.
EVERYONE! SERIOUSELY! SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL TRUTH! IF I'M NOT SEEING THINGS THEN HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU SEE THEM!!!!!!! YOU'RE NEVER AROUND HIM AS MUCH AS I AM! PEOPLE SAY THAT OTHERS CAN CHANGE, WELL IF ALL OF YOU KEEP SAYING THAT HE'S THIS STUPID, CHEETING, HORRIBLE, IDIOT, THEN HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE IF YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IT YOURSELFS!!!! HE HAS CHANGED AND IF I COULD PROVE IT I WOULD, BUT EVEN IF I SHOWED YOU YOU WOULD ALL STILL HAVE THAT STUPID MIND SET OF HIM AND YOU WON'T CHANGE YOUR MINDS!! SO QUIT SAYING THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP ME WHEN ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PISSING ME OFF!!!!!! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!!!!!
Thank you Erin for understanding. You're the only one who does and I thought you out of all people you wouldn't understand. Funny how things go.
