| California chillout |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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Twinkling starry skies on the west coast. Laying low beside the pool. Becca's in the deep end. She's going deeper. Someone needs to save her. Someone strong, brave and a real good person but it's not me. The headphones keep me drifting. They whisper "nahnahnahnahnahnah" sweetly into my ears.
Me head plays over the day. Antique shopping malls, coffee at noon, we both wish we just had more time. Holding your hands, letting go, chasing you around the hotel. What's to come? "A lot of bad stuff," you once told me. But I'm not ready to open my eyes just yet. In dreams begin responsibilities. You diving off the diving board is a wonderful sight. Morning comes soon after. |
| 49 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
go at it
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| And so Rebecca begins. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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I was at Rebecca's house, but it's more of an apartment. She's got a cat, Damien or something, that likes to claw at me when I come over but I don't mind. We put him out on the windowsill when we crawl into the bedroom. Always at night, always making moves in the dark.
She will never fall in love with me. And I will never care.
And I stroke her hair, dark and wet, as she lays across the bed wrapped in a towel. Flies gather on the leftover plate of food I can’t stomach to finish as my lip twitches, then again, but she’s seen it happen before and cradles my face with her shriveled hands smiling at me dripping water down my cheek. She kisses me rather quickly and sits up on the bed dropping her towel and opening the drawer next to the bed. Laying back down, trying in vain to muster up some voice in my head, one of reason and clarity that will help me out of this mess but all I can come up with are careless whispers.
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| 52 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
go at it
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| I caught myself a bookworm |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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I wonder what she underlines in that book of hers? |
| 42 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
go at it
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| The colors are seeping in, soaking up and staying for good |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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The love blisters I make,they sure do glow underneath the light your bedroom lamp let's us borrow. I'm so sorry that I waited this long to kiss your neck, to kiss your head. Now everything is easy. Without effort or force. I can just wander around the room and I seem to always spin back to you. Grey sheets and your white pillows and your white dress. Your blonde hair. Your freckles at your feet. The shades parted, the time unknown, the sun looks right on your face. I'm scared you're going to underestimate yourself and never leave me behind. You must. You need to give to the world. And when you're done I'll be there, shades of pink, and feeling so wrapped up in your presence.
Fuck this if this is so stupid and what have you but it's right to me. It's all for me. It's all for you. Come on, let's you and me get out of here. Let's break those expectations and bury the opposition and move to Arizona.
I'll meet you in Arizona underneath the orange canopy on the patio outside of the The Pet Saddle. |
| 33 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
go at it
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| I only date fish |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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You flex your arms and spring to life as a group of women pass you by. They ignore you, intentionally, and laugh aloud at a joke you don't understand.
Time passes, you order another drink and continue to wait. Your eyeballs could use some time to soak but a girl, younger than you want her to be, steps into your sight. You smile, she flips out, you flinch, she grabs your arm and starts shaking you.
"Jesse! Jesse, you're him right? You must be Jesse!"
Your mouth snaps shut, your intentions change but you're not Jesse. Tonight, you reconsider, you are.
"It's so good to finally meet you. I so thought you were going to stand me up. I was so nervous."
Blah blah blah you think. She's got electric black hair and is wearing a giant oversized white and grey stripped t-shirt that blankets her like a dress. She'll work you say but she's too busy talking junk through her giggle to hear you.
"I'm excited as well" you say to keep the momentum going.
You put a hand on her knee and she shakes in her skin. You excuse yourself to the bathroom. Grinning as you walk, you like the way your luck has changed. You fantasize of how it's going to feel when she |
| 67 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
go at it
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| Daydream 1:15 PM |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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He turns to the thermostat and drops the temp; he's freezing our brains into a dream state. My eyes wander, like they always have, to the hole in the ceiling. It's massive in size, at least five feet across and I manufacture an image...it's coming to me...a giant hand reaches in through the hole and the class gasps and screams. Their bodies flail and deflate while the hand picks a group from the back and scoops them up. The rest of us cower in fear as we hear the crunching, the chewing, the churning, the chowing, the blood-curdling call of their voices as the giant thing changes them into pieces of food. I hear a gulp and an exhale of hunger satisfaction.
"It's cold in here." The blonde behind me burs and I'm back. The hole is just a hole. The mind is just the mind. The boy beside the blonde is whistling the theme to Gilligan's Island. The teacher continues, "Sodium is first bonded to the protein."
"What?"
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| 57 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
go at it
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| Pleasure is trivial. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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Her lips are so soft; I've got nothing to compare them to. I try to think of my own, I touch them and they're cracked. They're dry and unimportant. I catch that her lips glisten in the sun and this sends me backwards in ecstasy. She's making me hungry. Is it time to eat yet?
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| 80 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
go at it
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| I try. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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But the full moon is blocking my view of the sky and the fogged up windows that prevent me from driving clearly, at night on the road, the road home, aren't doing any good either. This is what I would call trouble in the night. I hurriedly try and muster up some energy to crank up the heat, the windshield wipers, something cause I care not to tempt fate. It works, briefly, as it always does, and I sit idly in the car waiting for the light to turn red so I can stop for a sec to think about you. Forget about it, you're not interested. No, I said you're not interested. |
| 70 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
go at it
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| 1:47 AM (Which house is yours?) |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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"I've had the taste of blood and I want more. This year's girl can give me all the satisfaction I need. But she's not pretty. She's filthy. She's a mess, a terrible whinny mess. But I'm so very eager to be stained. So very much."
He says with his eyes closed and his hand on my shoulder is startling me. How startling he is. |
| 91 hit(s) |
(3 comments) |
go at it
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| Attractive Words. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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Avec mon pere. De toute facan, L'Amerique est chiante. toi. "Mitch," I sigh. That someone had drawn a moustache and sunglasses on, and do anything. "I'm sorry too." Long have they been sitting on the couch like that? I look the dude turned into a bug and freaked..." Pizza boxes, the constant smell of incense, the yoga man- to fuck off. I will never erase graffiti about myself that I the possibility it could actually be Sean's. But I was very I knew that. "Does he?" I ask. Stale smell of beer and cigarettes everywhere, the empty stract minimalist sort of way), which always works as a de- eases?" she asks. "Nope," I say though I should just say as I finally wave down a cab.
The Rules of Attraction - Bret Easton Ellis
All errors are meant to be so. |
| 71 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
go at it
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| Nice Meeting You |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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Inside the house raining, outside…can’t believe I left her out there. Will she survive? Does it matter? I’m gonna smack you. I’ve got very bad feelings. The Rippers say don’t do drugs. Snuff. Cure this. Can I? You can’t. I’m on the brink of a spooky show. Sorry for the cut. Keep in touch. No time like the present. Everyone is evil. No way out. Out of time. No going back. Leave this liar alone with his money. You can’t. Softly out of time. The hand in the glove is a gruesome hand. Sorry about the cut. The outline of your body, total glowyness going on there, what’s up with that? A tall tale. You don’t say? Everyone has lice. Special sin for the spectacular boy. I’m tired of the pill. Sudden. Bite this. I’m gonna smack you. Finally in between the lines. Does it matter? Don’t make it worse. Keep in touch. |
| 73 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
go at it
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