| I Am Nobody who are U? |
| Age: 20 |
| Sex: boy |
|
art is long, time is fleeting.......
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| once again |
May 16, 2008 |
like i having tired this path
but maybe rabites will be coming out of my hat ha ah yea
the whole week the whole..
trying to find it again
that madness
wait just wait till there can be no other but my mistakes
my fault just mine to wait till there the end
damn here again i waited
and put off
and ran for it and got at least 2 for sure Bs
ha
bullshit i just run it like an iron fisted champion
an irond willd fuck up
and 2 Bs
ha
like to think that 3 three bs
and mabe just mabe 4 bs cause that would be so much better and yea
but the story of my life but i did not shape up like i been complaining to myself
i created my own hell
nothing else is new? ha
and i have to take it as it is
the feeling of relief breaths
oh well im not there yet
1 more year
so many ideas
and yea
i got my letter and i am just a bit dissapoited
i guess
i couldnt really get on it
i couldnt really do like i said i could do
what is my problem?
me
thats it
oh well
i still feel like singin
i still feel like breathin
i still feel like fukin it up cause so so much more different and fucked up that i cant explaind
growin up happens and it shall be imbraced and when the time comes
it shall surely be seen
dont get me wrong
cause once again
i created my own hell... |
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| sing! |
May 2, 2008 |
happy day to all
hope all went well
besides me being late
i trip out on ok
three oks and the last was the best
really
wow
i cease to amaze myself
thats good i guess
i still have it in me
really thought i lost it
its coming back i guess
mabe when bare it all with no reget
random things keep showin up
and its there?
2 aa's
not the meetin's ahahahahahahhaha
philosophy and history
sounds like right path?
30units to go
3 semesters planed
shit
this much time
best be geting some damn worth!
need more info though
mabe monday i can get it
the fire been burnin and i need to burn |
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| ok |
April 26, 2008 |
I think i am so its all go i guess
waiting and waiting sucks cause its like the end of life and then its known and nothing more then thats
and
its the same cause if it wasnt then why am im typeing here and can proof read some of it only some of it and it goes
cause what else is there
today is my day tomarrow is my marrow the next is my next and i cant ask for more cause why would i wnat to i cant go on what was givin to me y should i should i repeat again and u are my friend get lost i never cared for most of this here danceing songs god i love to dance and song but it cant end and the beginninhg is here if one can find it and throw it away cause why shall it be this way when so many other chances can go an come and flow what it realy needs to be cause this is me
fr my soul it bleeds
fr the depts
fr the matter
fcuk everything else
cause
im not dead yet@@#!!!! |
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| One month |
April 13, 2008 |
then ill be 21
its kind of scary
shit im already a drunk fcuk
thinkin of leaving las vegas
good movie
is that what im suppose to do
21 go to vegas
yea
no i dont think so
getting old all down hill from here
who gets excited about getting any other age
yea
i really need to stop typing here drunk
shit ill be comin on here sometimes and see a new entry and be like wtf
i need to get this monkey undercontrol
its not goin anywhere and neither is i
school really stress me out
i dont know why
it comes easy
shit im smart
i have made bad decisions
we all do
time is my enemy and my friend
need to learn how to manage it better
sometimes it all be good and on it then it hits the fan
movtivation would help i think
whats my movtivation?
still waitin to hear bout that job openin
b so sick if i get it
everyweekend at the beach
oh my God!
movtivation hahah
i guess
this month i should know what happens
there was like 3 other people applyin
i know i got at least one q wrong
i like to think i got it but other people applying could very well have more qualifications
rebuilding my bike
something im excited about
the first bike i ever bought
its all black now
goin to redo it all
20 year old bike going to be as if it was brand new
i find this like a methophor for me
its crazy how life is
i mean its happenin
little by little
its all comin together
im workin for it
chasin it
slowin it will all happen
and i see that its good
crazy is as crazy does
fcuk it! |
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| one month |
April 13, 2008 |
till im 21
i dont really want to do anything
kind of scared
shit im already a drunk
now ill be 21
thinking of leaving lost vegas
its a good movie
the thing to do is suppose to go to vegas
but i dont c the point really
wow vegas 21 wow
naw fuck that shit
i really need to stop typing here drunk
shit
sometimes i come here and see an entry and be like what the fuck
i think this is it
21 next month need to get this monkey undercontrol
cause its not goin anywhere and either is me so yea i need that
school really stress me out
i dont know why
it comes so easy to me
shit im smart
i make bad decision
we all do
time is my enemy and best friend
fuckin time
i cant seem to manage it
it will go good for a while then it hits the fan
motivation is lackin
i think that is the problem
i still waiting bout that job openin
that be so sick if i could get it
at the beach everyweekend
direction ahahha
i guess
i rebuilding my bike
i hella excited to do that shit
at least something
its all black now
going repolished it all
make it all shiny
a 20 year old bike rebuilt to as if it was new
i think thats cool
yea
i find it like a methophor for me in a way
its crazy how life works out
really
im ready for it
i guess
im doin it
chasin it
looks like slowin its all comin together
and thats good
yea im crazy
crazy is as crazy does
fcuk it! |
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April 1, 2008 |
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| damned!!! |
April 4, 2008 |
i had so much to type but now its all left in the wind of forgotten time i guess yea
i type and type and it all flows ot... |
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| only time will tell..... |
February 22, 2008 |
some say that time heals all wounds
some say that time is on myside
some say that its all an illusion so dont worry
no worries just joy in all things
like in good and bad, one could suggest and find,or
experiences or life or thats it or whatever,
make what you can of it.
Its yours.
no-one could ever take that from you,
at least, one would think,
and its ok.
the first day of logic we were asked to write down 3 beliefs we had.
i came up with two:
!the sun will raise tomarrow
@that people are basically good
and then he ask to prove why one should believe in that
the first one i thought of that quote 'as the sun make it new, day by day make it new, yet again make it,'
like come on, always keep it new, always keep it changing cause who wants the same as it was, is, and going to be. why!
its not like it cant evolve, change or mabe thats how it is simply.
i could of easily said that
but what bout the second one>?
well thats the one that gets challenged all the time, i wanted to say, thats the one the hardest to prove, or thats the one i would never stop jumpin for,
the one beyond all explanation, i would keep jumpin for.
but i never raised my hand to say what i thought or felt or just for the hell of it to see what it could bring, then again i was ask to write 3 beliefs
and mabe i can see the third.
why cant i believe in myself?
of all the things or stuff one could believe, what should be the first the last the middle the infinite?
now that i think about it,
one should figure that out,
cause couldnt that make a differences?
only time will tell....
yea it is a good day....
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| my face hurts |
February 19, 2008 |
"I don't practice Santeria
I ain't got no crystal ball
Well I had a million dollars but I, I'd spend it all"
Is this goin to be the story of my life?
no i dont think so anymore really i dont
tonight i had my cards read to me
last time i did it, it was like 2 1/2 years ago
while the guy was laying them out i thought back to when i first got them read
we, a group of peps, were stayin in this motel for an action and this one girl who i never met before, sexy, like 6 years older than me, start hittin it off and whatnot and she ask me if i would like her to read me the card and i say why not jesus wouldnt mind this and WOW
i havent thought much about this card reading since i was really just intrested in her boobs but wow it all came true in a fucked up way........
shit my face hurts like every fuckin v-fuckin-day has always ended up the same in a way or at least these last two years
i went to a party and had fun
faded at 2 in the morning thinkin i could make it home after giant cup of sweet nectur of the gods on my bike wow was i wrong when i woked up and stumble out of a strangers gruage with the fuckin family staring at me through the kitchen window
i sick of it
i am sick of it
im sick of feeling like im losing my mind
i am my worse own enemy and i thought i was going to do better but this happens
half of my face was swollen shut
half my ribs are bruised
i cant go on like this forever
im not superman
oh yea the readin i had tonight was bad |
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| ok |
February 7, 2008 |
well im still here
i dont know
nothin i think
just nothing
so this new semester i been pretty good bout class
got one in 30 minutes
one i have to make up
so yea not too exciting
im tired i guess
its just hard to see the point of it all thats it i mean is school really the answer?
well at the place i work there is a job openin i applied and got letter back and they want my transcript so tomarrow ill fax it to them
we shall see how that goes
i just want to get away soo bad
feels as though ill never get the chance though.... |
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