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thursday |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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college is fuckin amazing, that's all i have to say. |
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saturday |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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this shit just deleted on me, but it needs to be written.
i spent half of my day watching my boys getting the shit needled out of them, and i have to admit that i'm ready for it myself now. dan scratched my skin off to explain how it feels. anyway, i wouldn't normally like dan's tattoo but it fits him so perfectly and was done so perfectly. and mike's is just plain hot and sexy, and it defines who he is. i wouldn't doubt it if his heart beats to the rhythm of alkakine trio. i love hanging out with them, they do the most random stuff and even just chilling is a good time. they do so much shit, but they're amazing people and i pray to god nothing ever happens to them. i love them, plain and simply.
i move in to school tomorrow morning. it hasn't yet hit me though, but i cannot wait. i know it's going to be different than everything i've ever been used to, but that's the exciting part. lifelifelife |
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wednesday |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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i forgot mike's school has terrible service, so that was a little let down when i tried to call. especially after he came online and disappeared a minute later. i can't already miss him, and this can't already be hard; it has only been two days i think. what the fucking hell? this sucks. i miss him. and tomorrow alyssa and christina leave. i did get to see them both today, but i'll miss seeing them too. and then i leave sunday, so i'm leaving everyone who is going to occ home. pretty much only a few: nicole, jenni, courtney, and danielle. well i'm trying to make it an easy transition by not letting these thoughts consume my mind and so far it's going pretty well.
i bought a book today-a million little pieces. i've heard it's very good, and seen a lot of people reading it. i just need a good book instead of this silly internet giving me a constant headahce.
tomorrow is mine and my mom's day. somehow they let her off work, so we're going up to the jackson outlets. there's the cutest store there that i know she will love, it has salsa and other fun things like that. mike and i bought her a habanero salsa sunday and it is already cleaned out. i think it will be fun to take a day out of my life to spend with her because i know it's going to be really hard on her when both kim and i are gone, and with my dad gone a lot. i took her out to dinner tonight also, which was fun.
i couldn't imagine my life without mike.
it's my bestie's 18th birthday today! |
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tuesday |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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it's not wednesday, it's definately tuesday. i wrote wednesday first. sillysilly :)
i don't really remember what sparked me to write my last entry because i'm amazed by him. he has done little things that make me love him a hundred times more this summer. they make my heart skip ten beats every time i think about how many times he has pulled me close to him, and the romantic date he set up for us. he gets cranky sometimes, and i get emotional and bitchy but we learn to deal with it. i love him to death and always will.
i realized today that i have four days to get ready for school; sunday morning i move in. i haven't thought about it much obviously, and it's honeslty purposely. i don't know what to expect when i go there and i don't want to be scared. so i figure if i think about it i'll become more nervous but if i don't think about it than i won't worry. if i'm nervous about meeting people it will be harder for me to act myself, so i'm going in there pretending i've known these people my entire life. so i'm hoping that i will benefit and hopefully meet a few good people, i don't need many. i am excited about my classes because i honestly can't wait to truly start my life. i don't know where i'll be in five years, with what career, so i'm ready to have an idea. i won't allow myself to get distracted by silly things while i'm there, and i'm going to study until my brain hurts. i need an educational confidence before i go out into the real world and test my everything. my mind and heart are both set on a stable, good income, enjoyable career. and i won't let anything stop me, this is my only chance to make my life happen. i'm excited for the newness of this all, and hopefully my positivity won't be diminished. i guess it will just be weird not seeing my usual friends though, the few there are.
fucking hiccups.
also, it's quite possible i have poison ivy from the other night's outing. i almost scratched myself to death.
so i'm crying; not because i'm sad but because i'm happy. i don't think i could explain everything in words. just what he did for me this summer has made me so sure of things and the happiest i have been. i feel like this quote from life of pi kind of explains it pretty well, and it's come to be one of my favorite quotes:
"It wasn't sleep, but a state of semi-consciousness in which daydreams and reality were nearly indistinguishable." |
| 11 hit(s) |
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friday |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
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lately i feel like he doesn't want me around much. i'm scared i'm going to be left alone for school and that i'm going to lose everything again. i don't want my world to be repetative anymore, i need stability. and i had faith in him, but i feel like he's lost his passion from our last new begining. i'm just scared, and i need to cry. but i wish i could talk to him about it. online conversations never begin or end well, so i'll have to wait for tomorrow. i'm just sad right now. but he always sees that as a weakness, although i believe i'm a pretty strong girl. i don't really know.
sometimes i wish he read this. i can never put into words what is on my mind in a comprehendible way, except for in here. he read an entry once, but most likely nothing more. i feel like it would help him understand me a little more, or of how i feel about things. |
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