nightshade - I was raised Asian in America

You are In Control at all times. When you cry - You're gorgeous. Not because of your looks but because you are in control of your emotion and everything you think and feel. You aren't afraid.

In Control.

83%

Believer.

75%

Dirty, Black, Free

67%

Confused.

17%

Cold as Steel

17%

Trapped.

NEW SITDAIRY!!!!	October 29th, 2008 @ 5:57pm
It is listed under sorian sorian thats it just sorian ok ^_^
61 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

What I sent to him...	October 23rd, 2008 @ 12:59am
Listening to: The humming of my laptop fans Feeling: amazing I wrote this to my boyfriend today and I have no idea what he is going to say or do. Its either going to end really well or make him nervous and run... but either way.... I just need to let him know. And I hope it all turns out for the best. _______________________________________________ I have come to an epiphany while painting... that night we were talking about the cities we loved, and the places that we would love to live in... I said something stupid and rather selfish it was... "I don't know why, but a part of me is starting to love Richmond too...." and you said "Maybe I could with your help, I could learn to love Richmond too...." and it was soooo sweet of you and I can't believe I didn't realize that you said it till now... I'm actually quite mad at myself for not realizing you said that then. But at this moment now, I'm not afraid of letting you in, I'm not afraid of what may or may not happen. I'm just so happy and grateful to have found someone like you. And please don't be mad at me, but I was so worried about what could be, that I was over looking everything, but, not anymore. You have totally quelled all fears inside of me and given me sooo much more to look forward to. In the span of a few months there has been this dramatic change in me. I've never been able to just be out there, and be happy, but you've some how managed that before. Every day you amaze me and just keep me in awe about everything. You over look all the flaws I have seen in myself and I don't know how you do it... but... you're just... I don't even have the words to describe how amazing and beautiful you are. I don't want to scare you away when I say I love you. I'm so afraid that something is going to happen or someone better might come by and take you away, and I know that there are probably better people out there than me... but some how out of all of this... you chose me... and I feel soooo alive because of you. I feel so scared telling you how I feel because, well, A: I have never felt like this before about anyone, B: I don't want to scare you away by telling you how I feel, and C: I don't want to put any pressure on you. I've never been great at expressing emotion towards anyone and I have never been at the forefront of the line to fight for someone, but you make me feel that, and I know its safe to say that not matter what, I will always be by your side, no matter where you are in this world, my heart, body, mind, and soul are yours to keep. Again, if its a bit much, let me know... but I just felt like I had to tell you for some reason. But I just wanted to get this off my chest because I want you to know how amazing YOU are and how important YOU mean to me. Nothing and no one is going to change that, and nothing is going to stand in my way of caring about you, not distance, not time, nothing. Its just you and me Matteo. Love, 李翰昇 PS- I really would give anything in the world to see you right now, and to just hold you in my arms, even if it were for a moment. And I really hope this doesn't make you too uncomfortable, but if it does, talk to me, I've found that you're the easiest person to talk to out of everyone... even some people that I have known for years. And I hope that I can be that person for you, and so much more because you deserve the best person out there in this world. Goodnight my everything, my love, my Ritsuka, my Suai Ge. And pleasant dreams.... PPS-Yeah... I did actually force myself to punctuate this... as best as I could. Qin Wen, Yong Bao
22 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

Its been years... now leave me alone	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Water Falling on my pillows- The veronicas- leave me alone Feeling: alone I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round Dragging me down Making a sound because you wanna I guess that's why I like messing with you Putting you through A lesson or two, because I'm gonna Before I go my own way I just gotta say Leave me alone Get out of my face I'm tired of love Feeling so misplaced Time for you to go 'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh Leave me alone This isn't gonna work Don't call me on the phone Because I'm all out of words I'll face the unknown Thinking about all the ways that I've grown Oh, Leave me alone There was the time I thought you were the one Having some fun Getting it done What an illusion 'Cause you were trying to take control of me That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it Leave me alone Get out of my face I'm tired of love Feeling so misplaced Time for you to go 'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh Leave me alone This isn't gonna work Don't call me on the phone Because I'm all out of words I'll face the unknown Thinking about all the ways that I've grown Oh, leave me alone Don't turn around and don't look back I see right through all your selfless acts Oh Leave me alone Get out of my face I'm tired of love Feeling so misplaced Time for you to go 'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh Leave me alone This isn't gonna work Don't call me on the phone Because I'm all out of words I'll face the unknown Thinking about all the ways that I've grown Oh, leave me alone If you win your love I'll feel better on my own Leave me alone
192 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

Good Song	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Tomoko Tane- My Broken Wings Feeling: distracted I know this will not remain forever However it's beautiful Your eyes,hands and you warm smile They're my treasure It's hard to forget I wish there was a solution Don't spend your time in confusion I will turn back now and spread My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wings How far should i go drifting in the wind Higher and higher in the light My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wings How far should i go drifting in the wind Across the sky,just keep on flying keisoku no dekinai itami to keisoku no dekinai jikan no narega subete wo umete shimaou toshitemo soredemo watashi ni wa kanjirareru sora kara ochitekuru no wa sora kara ochitekuru no wa ame de wa nakute Did i ever chain you down to my heart 'Cause i was never afraid of you ? No,I couldn't hold you any longer Love is not a toy Let go of me now The time we spend is perpetual Our future is not real I'll leap into the air My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wings How far should i go drifting in the wind Higher and higher in the light My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wings How far should i go drifting in the wind Across the sky,just keep on flying sora kara ochitekuru no wa are wa ame de wa nakute
78 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

This yet again..	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Feeling: bleh This is a roller coaster life this is, you know up and down, up and down. Damn. All well, still trying to find out who i am. Found out another teacher acctually cares about students. Eh, we will see how much happens from here on out tho. This depressional rut... is much deeper than the others have been. ALOT deeper. But i will find a way out because! I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG Kahshan. I WILL.
103 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

as promised	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
yeah hey i am back as fucking promised. of corse none of you would know then would you?
91 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

WHAT?	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: NONE OF UR DAMN BUISNESS Feeling: placid look DONT fUCKING LIE TO ME. I WILL FIND OUT! DONT MAKE PROMISES YOU CANT KEEP. DONT GIVE ME UR WORD IF IT HAS NO WORTH. I LOVED YOU BUT NOW. I REALISE I LOVED THE OLD YOU. BEFORE EVERYTHING CHANGED. AND THERE ISNT ANYTHING ANYONE CAN SO FOR YOU. PROVE TO ME WHY I SHOULD BEILIVE YOU EVERYTIME YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME. I AM WILLING TO GIVE UP THE REST OF MY LIFE FOR YOU BUT YOU..... YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND??????????? LET ME ANSWER FOR YOU NO YOU DONT. RIGHT GUY WRONG TIME.... IDK MAY BE ITS JUST ALL WRONG PERIOD WELL I AM THROUGH IF YOU WANT ME PROVE IT TO ME. OTHER WISE ITS OVER. I CANT BE WITH YOU OR NEAR YOU. I DONT WANT TO BE UR FRIEND. YOU CANT BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ASPHAULT FOR SHOWING ME THE WAY. AND ALICE FOR SUPPORTING ME. I LOVE YOU LIKE THE SISTER I NEVER HAD.
92 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

As Of Yet (to be discovered...)	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Feeling: enlightened I spin this disk on my finger Reluctant to let go I was trying to runaway from my sorrow It seems the wall comes closer In the dresser of my dressing closet room door I feel so emoted, is it cause i've been demoted again? SPIRALING! waiting to see LIGHT OF ME! hoping to breath Raptured in the lift of my blood I am drowning, the only one who is closet to me Please save me i am not this ready yet And i am not so devout to tis prep Pondering where i met you, i met you in my class I was hoping that this evil bliss could last But it didnt, To bad it didnt SPIRALING! waiting to see LIGHT OF ME! hoping to breath Raptured in the lift of my blood ^These emotions start to run high on now With this sound i will start to cry Absolutly when one wants to die As you see, when you say, that i love you in every way I dont care, you get scared, then you run away Just run away.... *Spiraling just waiting to see The light of me, hoping to breath Rapturing the lift of my blood (crescendo) SMILING! I WALK AWAY FROM THIS A STRONGER MAN TO BE MISSED I WILL WALK, I WILL RUN I AM BETTER AT LAST, and i cant be fired for this, FOR THIS CAUSE I AM EMANCIPATED FROM... my love... (This is about me saying good bye to my ex-fiance and that i am finaly over you. I love you and everything but all the SHE HIT that we've been through, and everything i have done for you. Well it just went down the drain. I am better than this, and i have more things to do then just to cry about it. I am sick of waiting and i am not going to live forever.If i make it to 25 i will be lucky to have survied and you kno i will always love you. But the thing is THIS WAS YOUR LOSS AND YOUR MISTAKE. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LET ME GO FREE. Thank you for pulling me in circles for months on end. For letting me see that your an ass. For wasting my time, love, life, and tears on you. For helping me to realise i can do better and you kno what. GOOD BYE, i walk out of this one alive. PS- All the times that we have been together as friends or lovers, was just spent in you saying things that werent true. If you love me you can try but other wise this is good bye.)
97 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

Teetering on the Brink	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: L'Arc~En~Ciel-Lost Heaven Feeling: moodless Back and forth up and down. He claims he still loves me, he claims that i am the only one meant for him... then how come we arent together? Irony
98 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

This of all times....	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Dir En Grey - Kodou Feeling: dark Bad day today, work was a killer... i had to wear a fucking mask all day and and act happy infront of the coustomers.you know. 4 bottles of asprin should do the trick of easing the pain. and i dont care anymore... yet again i am back to my old self. dark and dreary. not so much weak tho... odd how things can change in an instant. well what ever it goes the only thing is. there isnt time to look back now. there is no use for it. regret can bring nothing back. SCREAM AT ME ALL YOU WANT ABOUT HOW EMO I AM, IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO NOT CUT MORE! PROMISES WiLL BE BROKEN THERE IS NO POINT IN KEEPING THEM. And like i care. No one can do shit about it. go to guidance i wont shead a word. i will lie my way out of it and nothing more to be told. i can act better than you all think. in this world acting is what every one relies on. go ahead take your time to blink. but in that instant i will dissapear.
93 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

Lost while walking the line of heaven and hell...	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Dir En Grey - Kodou Feeling: alone The serpents hiss and a fouls call Screams unreaching and forbiden halls Relms that may not be entered Millions that lead to humanities fall The many creepers that follow This shell of mine so hollow Sabatosh and remorce Sentancing the issues i hide and swallow Many march onward toward the indifference I stay here and wander in the lonelyness Heart ach is just anothery way of torture The knives shoved in my back are useless Take this off of me My mask that you all see Remove the light inside Take my life away Seek eternity and make me whole again Make me whole again You know the lies that fall of of you A million times you never told the truth Passers by wave my way Thinking i have been subdued Return one day to me you see The eternity that fell on me Ravage in the evapouration Death is the one thing that i will forever be Ravage through my bones (x4) Take this off of me My mask that you all see Remove the light inside Take away my life Seek eternity and make me whole again Make me whole again Revise the draft of time Take what you want of mine and walk...off...this line........
109 hit(s)	(1 comments) \| this life

To who ever this may concern	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Memoirs of a Geisha Soundtrack Feeling: alone "there is a poem carved into stone at a moutain temple. it is so easy to read because three letters are scrateched out... it read - you do not read loss... you feel it..." I feel that loss now. and i promise from this point on as this statement and anyone who reads this as my witness: The one that i loved will just be a past from now on. The love i had for him was lost. And the peices that are left of me and him will only be held in terms as a friend. That is all that is written. The emotions i will now hide forever in the hopes of one day we might be together again will be locked here. Here untill the day that we may be together again. Untill then let this be the one thing that keeps me going, and holds me behind.
103 hit(s)	(2 comments) \| this life

EDITED Eternity Chapter One: The After Math EDITED!!!!!	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: FMA- OTS Feeling: horrible Eternity -Salem Lee- Chapter One: The after math. The golden sun, The silver moon, The spot you shot today, A solar part, A lunar tear, The thoughts that fade away Adverting from his attention he realized it was late and time to drift into the realm of sleep. Ryan walked away and went up to his room, the fireplace was still lit and Chase still sat there in shock of what he heard. "I LOVE YOU" those words reverberated through his head like an explosion within. The luminosity of the light still beamed through the room despite the fact that the fire was perishing into the darkness leaving nothing but embers. There Chase lay from the previous night where he was "shot," still stunned from the words, and fast asleep. Ryan walked out of his room noticing the fire was out. He walked over and covered Chase up with a blanket woven out of satins and silks; it was thin but kept in the heat like and oven. He looked at the clock "2:13 hmm" he said as he sighed. Chase awoke and looked up at Ryan for a moment; just enough for a glimpse of his face, and then passed back into the dimension of slumber. But before he passed out he mumbled something "I love you too" Ryan smiled and picked Chase up and took him back into his room and situated him on his bed toward the heated corner of the room. "Still 3" Ryan spoke, he walked towards the window. Frost had collaborated on the glass panes of the old rustic casement, though old, it still did its job. It kept whatever temperature in and the other out. Ryan walked out of the plaster styled hall and into his bed room, and there lay Chase wide awake and watching the television, drinking his usual cup of tea before bed stirring away like there was nothing else to do. “Hey come look at this…” he stated in a sparked tone, “ there was an accident on route 88. Two tractors collided and killed a woman, cut he clear in two.” “That’s sad and repulsive Chase. Don’t you have anything better to do than mock the way people died? What if that was me? Would you be doing the same thing?” Ryan spoke with the intention of making a point. He limped a little as he walked way. “Ryan, are you all right?” Chase swiftly made his way towards Ryan maneuvering past the labyrinth of furniture they had acquired during the past year.
114 hit(s)	(2 comments) \| this life

SO CONFUSED!	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: TAAR(The All American Rejects)- Top of the World (falls on you) Feeling: touchy My ex: Tho he hurt me. I still love him. and i still want to be with him. And i know i wont ever get over him. Yes move on but never forget. And the thing is i dont want to move on. Sami: I like him ALOT! but i am afraid it wont work out and i am afraid i am going to hurt him. He seems like the greatest guy. Like HE ISNT LOOKING FOR SEX! and thats what i want. A relationship that isnt based on sex. And yeah i want to see if it would work out. But i am so afraid that my heart will still be lapsed on my ex. and i dont want that cause i dont want to hurt him. He is suck a sweet guy and just SOOOOOOOO OVERLY AWSOME. and yeah EX: He still likes me and now he is single. And after everything i have gone through i just dont kno. I want to move on but i dont at the same time. And he is still there in my heart. Sami: like i said i dont want to hurt him. And i really want to see. And if i do i dont want to hurt him, and thats the last thing i want to do to such a sweet guy. He is soooo Beautiful. No not cute, not hot, not hott, not i want that ass..., but Beautiful. I mean there is no other word for it. Because he is beautiful. AND he is into the same thing i am into. Music and all. He loves writing and i do too. I just dont kno. HELP SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I am so mad that i feal like this... i wana kno what to do... I love one and i really like the other... Tho i dont kno Sami that well. Sheesh am i gonna be hated.
132 hit(s)	(2 comments) \| this life

Today is a new day	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: this song here Feeling: happy Before when I was younger I needed you to stay alive And I wanted you at my side There were so many issues I had with you Like when you used to lie Or when I would cry You said you cared You lied you spared My life, of yours, You cleared the air I can breathe now with out you I can see now with out you I can look past my nose and say Everything was your fault And I can look back there with no regrets today Today is a new day No more throwing my life away Seeing you kiss her in front of my eyes Made me realize That you were a love but I have to move on And my friends they all whispered Today is a new day No more throwing my life away And I can see the out side And no more putting from my line Because I don’t need you to live I gave you all I had to give See there it is I have moved on You’re mad because you cant hold on I hope you see you did this to youself And I had nothing to do (say) with it And I wont die I wont even cry No I’m not gonna die! BECAUSE: Chorus See you were the first but not the only I can move on because you were wrong I have no regrets your fault will last for you But not for me, and I can walk past you And I can move faster, I can fly higher Your old desires (JUST FLEW OUT THOSE DOORS) YOU DITCHED ME ON DECEMBER EE THAT’S ONE IN CHINESE AND I GAVE IT TO YOU THAT TIME GOES ON MY DREAMS ROLL ON AND I WONT GIVE UP CAUSE YOU FUCKED IT UP! ~OH OH~ Chorus You did this to your self your fear Of loosing me and now I am gone you see To day is my day Today I do things my way!!!!!!!!! ____________________________________________ Yeah its about my ex-fiance fucking up, and how i can move on.i mean come on, he dumped me after 1year 3months and 29 days. and now he is sorry for it i guess. but in the end we will be there for eachother thick and thin. and mabe some day when he is ready for a real relationship then we will get back together.
122 hit(s)	(2 comments) \| this life

Sweet Misery – Salem Lee	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: the song i wrote here (dumbass) Feeling: moodless Sweet Misery – Salem Lee Oh sweet misery The dear and heartfelt beloved The resentment of the line of fire Amiably is the sent of tears And passionately lies the woes Nothing can deny the infinite lies Beyond the grave in the time Take my soul and use it well My weakness in the fallen Ship wrecked by the ocean side. Noon tide reawakens me to bitter sweet misery The night life is the mornings after glow And then I I speak it well Here I dwell in the light of the moon light In the eternal sunshine After the falling sunrise Here it remains twilight Upon the ebony blue. Speak to me I am too weak to see The resenting love life And the fallen rainbows In the shattered flowers glow And upon the earth will see the tears I feel As if in the field of dreams I wield Your yerning heart set feel-ings Is brought to the healing And in the right time you will pass on And eventually move on. Oh sweet misery I have found thee And woes the sweet misery in the castaway Bye the moon light Shunt about me is the heart nets And OH SWEET MISERY Is there a forgotten mind The forbidden soul And the tortured simile is the metaphor And the undying love Of mine………. Ponder this me divine right To be the damned sent child In the hearsay world Oh sweet misery I have found thee Hiding in the clouds Worry my time In the mess of things I have lost everything I have found. Stagger these pieces of me Shaken this eternal moon lit ground And beckon these into the star-shaped mound Reawakened the quivering is this the open tide Am I in the final battle Over the stunning starlit moonlight? Oh sweet misery I have found thee And woes the sweet misery in the castaway Bye the moon light Shunt about me is the heart nets And OH SWEET MISERY Is there a forgotten mind The forbidden soul And the tortured simile is the metaphor And the undying love Of mine………. Oh sweet misery My sweet misery My only memory of the spot lights Taken from the afterglow Of the war Of the moon Of my life Of the living lie It is the empty moon Lies………..
142 hit(s)	(12 comments) \| this life

Problems	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Ohio is for lovers - Hawthorne Hieghts Feeling: pathetic Too many people at my school are finding about my fiane and boyfriend. so we are havoing huge problems. we might end up breaking up because of it. i dont want to and neither does he. but for now it might be the best thing to do. And obviously there is someone out there who is spreading it to other people that me and him have something. And who ever that is that is trying to break our love for each other is going to die. No matter what it takes Eclipse and i are going to get married. Its done. We have each other now. and though we may get into fights but we will work through them. I PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY LOVE.
140 hit(s)	(6 comments) \| this life

Missing You	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: The honorary Title- Everything i once had Feeling: loopy I am missing every single fiber in his body. I just wish that we could see each other more often. Not seeing him really hurts. And even though we go to school together. It doesnt meen a thing because we dont have any classes next to each other. And the closest class he has to me is next door. but i still cant see or hang out with him. I hate this soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much oi i need help. Eclipse2: I LOVE YOU, i want to hold you in my arms... Navybrat08: hey, my day sucked.
144 hit(s)	(6 comments) \| this life

Bordom in The clASS room	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: The Honorary Title- Everything I Once Had Feeling: bored Ok CAD:SLEEP WH2: TEST PE: NOTHING BUT TALK TO BYRON AND SHAN ENG:Not much LUNCH:Talked with friends and Liz got her phone taken away. Math: Right now. I am so bored. like into hell kind of bored. adopt your own virtual pet! Eclipse2: I love you. I hope you are ok. Navybrat08: You should call me later to talk about the project thingys ok :) and dont worry i dont think anything is up with him.
118 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

Anti Polarity	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: The Cranberries- Zombie Feeling: sane Opposite ends of the earth. They and me Separation. Me and you. Tossed away. GoNe....... Boom, explosions. Drama, drama, drama Bombs, dumbasses. Guilt trips Secrets, lies Tormentations Smoking, drugs, drinking. My head hurts Heartach, happieness pains Nothing, no its not me. Its them. Them to me. THEM AND ME North and South. SHIT SHIT SHIT. AWAY. NOTHNG. Me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ______________________________________ Everytime i am happy most of my other friends are hurting. ______________________________________ This could be...
121 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

SCHOOL CONUNDRUM	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Miss Independant- Kelly Clarkson Feeling: conflicted WH2: Boring MY WHOLE DAY WAS BORING. I want to be with Eclipse. I am having a slumber party although none of us are going to sleep. Jusst hang out, and stuff.
141 hit(s)	(11 comments) \| this life

Pain

August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm

Listening to: Nothing

Feeling: tense

If not seeing you for two minutes is painful
Than whats to say that two days is the same?
What about two weeks or two months.
Life stands still hen i am not in your will.
See the eyes of bayou blue keep me going,
And your smile is all too calming.
The voice you have is the silent bell.
It rings a crystilic chime of memories.
And as the tears roll down my face
I am hoping i can see you soon,
If not today, mabe the next.
Your my life.
Your my love.

And the answer to your qustion...
Is yes, i do.

You scored as Stabbed. You will die from being stabbed. Yay.

Suicide

100%

Posion

100%

Disappear

100%

Stabbed

100%

Disease

100%

Accident

80%

Gunshot

67%

Suffocated

67%

Eaten

67%

Cut Throat

67%

Drowning

47%

Bomb

33%

Natural Causes

0%How Will You Die??created with QuizFarm.com

131 hit(s)

(2 comments) | this life

Agoraphobia	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Agoraphobia- Incubus Feeling: alone Some one help me People hey get to me. My mind is driving me crazy They're all around me. Alienating my space My life, my property. I want to be alone. I feel it. I want to see it. The hesitant gates of folley. But the only thing i see Is the emptyness Of what is me.
106 hit(s)	(2 comments) \| this life

Rum Bum Bum	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: cordalio- shekikami Feeling: hyperactive Taska in the meadow i am really bord I wanna kick the negroid's fucking turd. The i will shove his head up his ass. And then some more cuz he stole my best friends ass. Now she is crying away from everyone else. I really want to help her. But she wont let anyone in. This is not the time for morons to play in. Bordom is with spoken to help the fall within. BORDEDEDEDED Eclipse: read your comment Navybrat: Hey, bordeded, but not mad at anyone. -----------------------------===================------------- on another note aperently my ex bf found this site and wrote a nasty comment on my last entry. he is the third comment down in case any one is interested.
168 hit(s)	(14 comments) \| this life

Publishing Day	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Opium Kadavers Feeling: psychotic TODAYS THE DAY I START LOOKING FOR A PUBLISHING COMPANY!!!!! I am so excited. ok due to the fact that i have had so many requests ti publish my poetry and stuff i am actually going to do it. well i hope i make it. On another not. I am sorry everybody but i my past poems now have to be closed into private entries due to some fucker trying to steal my stuff. oh well. its hhis luck if he cant write. ************************************************************ well any ways it is about 1:58 here so goodnight all. I need to take a shower. Sheesh, damn gym class.
168 hit(s)	(12 comments) \| this life

In Return	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Sum41-Chuck Feeling: moodless Balforus into the sunlight Return to the moon light In the distance The stars start to cry I wake every moment I sing every evening And wish that i could die In return how do i run How do i hide I wish that That this would go away And in return teach me how to cry Bleeding back into the sea Its just not you or me. Its the wrong time. In your life Why cant you see Me for me And the fact that i run Run to your side chorus And the diffrence is not clear The Hazyness in your eyes And for that i want to cry. The tears begin to build Tears begin to Tears begin to Tears begin to build. chorus ============================================== This song is about some one really dear to me. But i still cant see anything. But the feelings are there on my end. Just friends on the other. Oh well. what can i do. It strikes me as easy but it seems that is just inside my mind. Oh well. What ever happens, happens.
120 hit(s)	(7 comments) \| this life

Sadistic Inferno	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Action Action & System of a Down- this years fasion & toxicity Feeling: secretive Is this boy so sullen and silent Meant to be the next hero? Why does it seem he helps others With out a second thought But down to bone He is sick and minggled Its happiness but pain within And the hands around his throught Are squeezing in harder Colapsing the spuratic apple of adam. Low key and out of tune The dropings of a nuclear melt down Are attaking the people He never should have kissed you This is his trouble His head's thought In the opium filled tank And the extensive bottle of wisky and wine An addiction to what he cant have But now he is in trouble He cant break free It is a hole in the net His thought is to go but he is caught Like a fly on the paper. The toxic substance drowns his lungs Love, it is his weakness Yet his strength Fire is flashing over head creeping forward Malnutrision in the world disruption, Quieted and calmed to lies. He cannot think any more He cant help it. He is not fading any more. Not back into the darkness He must break free. He is me.
150 hit(s)	(13 comments) \| this life

Finaly

August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm

Listening to: Crossfade-Cold

Feeling: happy

I finaly got my certifiacates for sam goodie it was 30$ and i gots 3 cds wits it.

Crossfade-" "
Sum41- Chuck
System of A Down-Toxcicity

"What i really meant to say is that im sorry for the way i am. i never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold."

Eventualy And Hopefuly

There maybe a chance
In the future for a new person to move in
But for now it is still on him.
Can i help it, no not really.
And i like it this way.
Master and friend.
Discovery is in the making
And time is of the escence
And out of side
Is not out of mind.
Like a poster in my head
A constant reminder
The reliable crutch.
I am there for you too.

FUNNY IT SOULD SAY THIS BECAUSE I TAKE KENDO, KUNG FU, TAI CHI.

Samurai

You are a Samurai.You are full of honour and value respect. Youare not really the stereotypical hero, but youdo fight for good. Just in your own way. Foryou, it is most certainly okay to kill an evilperson, if it is for justice and peace. Youalso don't belive in mourning all the time andthink that once you've hit a bad stage in lifeyou just have to get up again. It's pointlessto concentrate on emotional pain and better tojust get on with everything. You also are adown to earth type of person and think beforeyou act. Impulsive people may annoy you sometimessomewhat.Main weapon: SwordQuote: "Do what one thinks, as long as one follows the heart, one is never wrong."Facial expression:Cold Heartless Eyes w. a slight Flare to them.

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures] brought to you by Quizilla

eien?

the sad teen. Everything in life is f*ckin'miserable. You constantly look over yourshoulder and wonder who is judging you...evenwhen you are alone. So naturally, you havebecome a little paranoid and pessamistic. Yourpersonality can be one demensional butconfusing. You are constantly bored with lifeand wish that something could spice it up. Youhave a unique view on life and have identifiedthe problems with school society (Ex...whatmakes popular people, how the student mindworks...) You would rather be alone because youhate being hurt. You tend to think that no oneunderstands you, not even your parents /guardians / friends. But that is just theopposite! The people who love you want tohelp, but they don't know how because they havea feeling that they will say something wrongand turn you away. You have to let them knowthat you are willing to hear what they have tosay...and it might do some good to listen tothem.

Some fields you might consider goingin when you are older...Judge, author,songwriter, producer, therapist, psychologist,philosopher, or forensic scientist. You need ajob where you can express yourself and yourviews on life. Or you need a field where youcan judge others and predict what is going onin others life. Either way... you have thepersonality to get you a good job that willsupport you throughout life.
What type of teenager are you? brought to you by Quizilla

Reality Your wise quote is: "Reality bites with avariety of sizes of teeth"(-Tony Follari)As a person, you think life is just plainpainful, horrible and everything else you don'tlike. Happy people confuse you. Alot. I mean,why are they so happy anyway? You are depressedand perhaps utterly alone and live life rathermontone. You feel there is no reason to reallybe here and feel helpless.
What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED brought to you by Quizilla

110 hit(s)

(1 comments) | this life

No	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Alot of crap playing Feeling: shocked Will i ever be happy?No Will i ever love again?No Will i ever trust again? NOOOOO Will i ever learn? No Will i ever stop being self centered? No Does that concern me? NO Should it concern me? NO I am truly not sorry for being the way i am and i'm proud to say it. I am sorry that i cant: 1. trust 2. love 3.be happy 4. be joyous 5. rejoice 6. dance 7. care I am sorry that i (am): 1.selfcentered 2.in bad moods all the time 3.suicidal 4.an individualist 5. dont care a flying fuck 6.like who i am 7. a cold hearted bitch It is hard not to be self centered when: 1. I havent had friends for 4 years. 2. I havent talked much for 4 years 3. My boyfriend (6 months ago) broke up with me on the phone saying " hey i am in Georgia right now and well, its not working out and i have found some one else. 4. Most people that i trust have stabbed me in the back at lest once. But i am not sorry for: 1. being me 2. being mean 3. being the way i am 4. dressing how i wanna dress 5. complaining about my life 6. not caring for alot of people 7. hating people 8. not trusting people 9. being who i wanna be 10. likeing who i like. My weaknessess are: 1. I care either too little or too much. 2. Love 3. Trust
142 hit(s)	(13 comments) \| this life

Annoyed	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: nothing Feeling: annoyed Bordom over takes this body I need sleep. Good day for now I will write back For all to see Later...
125 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

WOW	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: my happy ending- avril lavinge Feeling: saucy Brain Lateralization Test ResultsRight Brain (74%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (26%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain Are You Right or Left Brained?(word test) personality tests by similarminds.com
113 hit(s)	(6 comments) \| this life

It isnt gonna work...	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: My Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne Feeling: upbeat Oh well Still love him. Currently these two songs are my feelings right as of now: We were ment to be sposed to be but we lost it, all this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending. its nice to know that you were there thanks for acting like you cared and makin me feel like i was the only one.its nice to know we had it all thanks for watching us fall and letting me know we were tall. He was everything everything that i wanted.... We were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it. all this time you were pretending well so much for my happy ending. oh oh, so much for my happy ending................. Well i couldnt tell you Why she felt that way but she felt it everyday And i couldnt help her. i just watched her make the same mistakes again. whats wronge whats wrong now? to many too many problems. dont know where she belongs, where she belongs. she wants to go home. but nobody's home. thats where she lies. broken inside. with noplace to go. no place to go to dry her eyes. broken inside. oh oh Open your eyes and look out side. find the reasons why. you've been rejected. and now you cant find what youve left behind. be strong be strong now. to many to many problems. dont know where she belongs. where she belongs. she wants to go home. but nobodys home. thats where she lies broken inside. shes lost inside, lost inside oh oh, Her feeling she hides Her dreams she cant find Shes losing her mind Shes fallin behind She cant find her place Shes loosing her faith Shes fallin form grace Shes all over the place Yeah She wants to go home but nobodys home Thats were she lies broken inside with noplace to go. no place to go. to dry her eyes. then inside. shes lost inside lost inside. oh oh. oh.......
110 hit(s)	(4 comments) \| this life

My Mother	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Take A Look At Me Now Feeling: helpless My mother My creator An illness So sleek Could kill her Might take her Why me? What happens When she leaves Will i cry Will i die Will i fade My escapade....
137 hit(s)	(1 comments) \| this life

Bored	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Nobody's Home Feeling: sane You Are 55% Normal (Somewhat Normal) While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself How Normal Are You? You Are 21 Years Old 21 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. What Age Do You Act?
117 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

Back to Prison	August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm
Listening to: Noboy's Home- Avril Lavigne Feeling: upbeat This prison the school The pit of hell For an intant A moment i think i feel happy Time has haulted and the vial hearts run Pure through the woods fast done hark. I pleade to you PLease be true or Go away your nothing new.............
120 hit(s)	(2 comments) \| this life

Everything I Have	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: nothing Feeling: distant You are everything i have I hold in my hand. You are the only thig inside. Keeping me alive. Last year i met you in my class, You were tall and sleek and you kept looking at me. A week later you were at my house we got along. And we never fought. Well now i am standing here and it is clearly a year. So tell me how i got through with you. Your everything i hold Your everything i have Keeping me alive. You're the only thing in side. Last month you asked to marry me. And i just couldnt beilive. This past weekend was our big 1 year annaversary. And your still here with me. Some one tell me how that could be? Your everything i hold Your everything i have Keeping me alive. You're the only thing in side. You saved me more than once. And i wondered how it was possible. Cause it seemed impossible. But you made it possible. Yeah you made it possible. *Your everything i hold Your everything i have Keeping me alive. You're the only thing inside. ________________________________________ TILL THE END OF TIME I LOVE YOU!!!!! You know who you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
134 hit(s)	(6 comments) \| this life

MEN	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: my FUCKING TEARS THATS WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feeling: placid OK so he promises me that he would wake me up if i fell asleep. Did he? NOPE Instead he goes off and goes over to McDonald's, 2 other people's houses, and doesnt bother to call. He ignores me just to watch a damn movie about weed. And it seems like he doent care at all for me. And when he goes to leave all he has to say is. "I'm sorry but i am in a hurry." WHAT EVER! I dont need this shit. But i still Love him thats the thing. and i dont mean to be conseded but he hinks about himself. my mistake for getting in your way and bothering you wile your watching a movie about WEED. You know the thing you promised you wouldnt do... WHATEVER WORDS ARE WORDS, NOW LETS SEE YOUR ACTIONS THAT FOLLOW IT UP.
128 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

numbr8 is me	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Feeling: lovely 1(if your) single 2(if your ) taken 3(if your) single and luvin it 4(if you) want to tell someone u like them 5(if you) have a crush 6(if you) like someone you can't have 7(if your) heartbroken 8(if your) taken and in love 9(if you) like someone but to afraid to tell them 10(if you ) just want to have FUN 11(if you) like someone but they dont like you 12(if you) are in love with someone but they dont feel the same 13(if you) arnt sure about things
129 hit(s)	(1 comments) \| this life

OK OK	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: ReVAMP and reBirth Feeling: numb Working on shit for my band. not a good day but not bad either, just a boring day.
117 hit(s)	(1 comments) \| this life

YEAH YEah yeah..... drained	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Avril Lavigne- Nobody's Home Feeling: tense Dont let him know you are crying. He will ask whts wronge. Dont think i didnt see you kiss her. what ever. its the works of it all. Gists and my fist. I wonder. How much and to what e......x...t...e...n...t you will go. but yeah as of now. what do you want? Tears burn my eyes....... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I got a mySpace. www.myspace.com/nightshade8869 (what else) www.xanga.com/nightshade8869 (uh huh) www.vampirefreaks.com/nightshade8869 (and again) email: nightshade8869@yahoo.com (yuppo its that name again) Aim: nightshade8869 (what can i say) Yahoo: nightshade8869 (like i said) MSN:sonnylee49 )fooled you(
137 hit(s)	(5 comments) \| this life

STRESS KILLS ME	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: my delusions- Immoratilcized Feeling: stubborn I cant take this any more my hesitation. The stress is getting to me, my dedication. These illusions are pounding me. And my brian is rushing and breaking in pain. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++MORE LATER++++++++ Eclipse please tell me that you are coming over today. or torrow.
151 hit(s)	(10 comments) \| this life

many

August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am

Listening to: the sickness of infection- Coping the Pain

Feeling: sinful

I AM IN A NEW BAND

ReVAMP and reBIRTH:

new band name.....

YAY.

Our Album :::::

Communication A.D.D. Bitch....
______________________________________

I am sick. I went to the clinic. And my dad wont pick up the god forsaken phone. I have been up there 4 times now. Oh my god when i get home i am gonna kill him.
_______________________________________
I HOPE I CAN SEE HIM TONIGHT.......
________________________________________
I dont think i am gonna go to the musium listings. If i fail bio so be it. Its a colledge class anyways and i am in High School and not colledge so it doent matter to me now. But i do want to be a Biologist when i am older. I am sick and there is no way for me to get there.

You scored as independant goth. Your independant !! this is a great kind of person to be. You often find ur self living ur life n nobodies elses..u like to do wat u want,how u want ,and when ever you want... Alot of people wish they could speak their mind like you speak yours.

Cutter goth

100%

sexxi goth

100%

shy goth

100%

independant goth

100%

trifty goth

83%

punk goth

67%

angel/dreamer goth

0%Wat kind of gothic girl r u ?created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Spirit. This shows that Spirit is the predominating force in your life. You are probably one of the most balanced individuals, fairly close to enlightenment. Go be a yogi or something!

Spirit

100%

Earth

100%

Air

100%

Water

100%

Fire

100%Which of the Five Elements are you?created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Cyclops. Codename: Cyclops
Full Name: Scott Summers
Mutant Powers: Optic blasts of intense light-beams.

Scott Summers was an early follower of Xavier's dream and a mutant that suffered all his life.As a young boy, Scott and his brother, Alex Summers, were with his parents on a plane of his dad. But then, a SHIAR ship destroyed the plane, capturing both Scott´s mother and father. Just before being kidnapped, Scott´s father, Major Christopher Summers, gave a parachute to his sons and dropped them out of the plane. The ´chute didn´t open, and Scott first manifested his mutant powers, as he used his optic blasts to slow down the fall. The boys were found in a forest, sleeping. Alex was adopted by a family, but Scott was sent to an orphanage, that was owned by Nathaniel Essex, a.k.a. Mr. Sinister. Sinister discovered the genetical potencial that lied within Scott, and began to make experiments on him. Many years later, Charles Xavier found Scott by using Cerebro, and took him away from the orphanage. Before he left, Sinister took away Scott's memories of his time there.

Cyclops was a member of the original five X-men, and there he fell in love with another teammate, Marvel Girl, or Jean Grey. Eventually, he met his brother, Alex, who now went by the name of Havok, and later his father, who now called himself Cosair and was leader of an alien vessel that fought in space.

Cyclops

100%

Beast

95%

Professor X

95%

Storm

80%

Shadowcat

70%

Jean Grey

60%

Rogue

60%

Wolverine

50%

Banshee

50%

Iceman

40%

Archangel

40%

Nightcrawler

30%

Colossus

20%Which X-Men member are You?created with QuizFarm.com

130 hit(s)

(8 comments) | this life

Fine Again	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Fine Again- Seether Feeling: fine I am ok again. I am happy again. AND me and Eclipse are going to be together forever. i hope anyways but i dont have ny doubts. so how are yall?
143 hit(s)	(14 comments) \| this life

Vamps to Dead	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Swing Swing- The All American Rejects Feeling: numb Attack me, Change me, My ways. Pornos and photos. Mold, rot, and someone has soiled himself. I hate this. Bordom Blood Bras Boobs. Dicks Cocks Blood Chicks.
130 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

All about him?	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Zombie-The Cranberies Feeling: wonderful
123 hit(s)	(5 comments) \| this life

Dead And Alive	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: brett complaining Feeling: secretive borded as fucking hell right now and Salem's ex lover type person is being a bitch. and annoying me . hi its been a while but i am stealing internet at home now muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. so i can get on more often now. yay (T.T) welll i guess i willl up date latererererer kays byes. adue for now. siyonara bitches and a happy new year.
121 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

YIPPIE	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: MY HAPPINESS Feeling: perplexed I CAN LEAVE HERE HAPPY. THE PERSON I LOVE IS STILL THERE IN A SENCE AND STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR ME. YEAH. I AM SOOOOOO HAPPY. THE THING IS THE PHSYCHIC WAS RIGHT!!!! AND THING IS THAT I AM HAPPY. AND I CAN LEAVE HERE FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS AND COME BACK HAPPY. YEAH. I AM HAPPY. PERFECT. I LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES ME. THERE I AM HAPPY I AM SATISFIYED. AND THERE IS NOTHING I WANT MORE. EXCEPT TO KEEP MY IBOOK SO I COULD STAY ON SITDIARY FOREVER. BUT WE CANT BE TOGETHER FOR HE IS GOING OUT WITH MY FRIEND BUT WELL. SHES CHEATING ON HIM AND HE KNOWS IT AND SO HE WAS LIKE YEAH. WELL I MAY GO TO THE LIBRARY TO FILL YOU IN THIS WEEKEND IF I GO TO THE LIBRARY. OK, I WILL MISS YOU ALL. SEE YOU IN 3 MONTHS. SOMETIME IN SEPTEMBER. I WILL MISS YOU. ALL OF YOU. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++================ ECLIPSE2; I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART, BODY, SOUL AND MIND. NAVYBRAT08; HEY, LIFE SEEMS TO BE PERFECT. I HOPE IT GOES WELL FOR YOU TOO.
129 hit(s)	(12 comments) \| this life

Crash	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: silence Feeling: alone Its official. I cant live with him, and i cant live with out him. He is my soul mate and i cant deniy it any more. I wish i could let him know though.It is going to be really tough but in the end i think it will come out ok. And i still love him. And in the end isnt that all that matters? Well it is to me. And just to see his smiling face is enough to make my day. I LOVE YOU I really really do. So for your sake if you want me to i will move on. And The Psychic i went to in Jersey said something to me. And i wanted to know if it is true. GOOD BYE FOR NOW SIT DIARY!! BE BACK IN 3 MONTHS I PROMISE AND THE THING IS I DONT WANNA GO!!. I LOSE MY IBOOK TOMMORROW FROM SCHOOL AND IT REALLY SUCKS. LOVE YOU ALL AND I WILL MISS YOU ALL. I WILL WRITE LOTS WHEN I GET BACKS OK. BYE FOR NOWS. NAVYBRAT08: I WILL SEE YOU IN SCHOOL OK. BYE I LUV YA. ECLIPSE2: I LOVE YOU AND ITS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME. SORROWANGEL: 3 MONTHS WILL PASS IN NO TIME. TRUST ME.SEE YOU THEN SEE YOU ALL THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY..... DURING THE SUMMER WITHOUT YOUR SMILE, WHO WILL BRIGHTENN MY SUMMER'S DAY? I LOVE YOU. AND FOREVER ADUE. NO NOT I AUDE, I DO. I AM MOVING ON ONLY FOR YOU. JUST TELL ME TO. AND IF IT HOW YOU REALLY FEEL TELL ME WHAT WE HAD WAS REAL. GOODBYE IN THAT WAY. I'LL SE YOU THIS SUMMER WONT I AT LEAST ONE DAY? SIYONARA I SHITIRU ECLIPSE (good bye i love you eclipse) REACH ME AT nightshade8869@yahoo.com ok try to and mabe i can call some of you. i dont mind the long distance charge. i hope. well later for now guys. PS- WHOEVER LEFT ME THAT COMMENT TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. IT WOULD BE NICE TO KNOW SO I DIDNT HAVE TO WONDER ALL SUMMER. PLEASE?
146 hit(s)	(7 comments) \| this life

After the End	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: nothing Feeling: infuriated After this ends will you still be there? Will you still care? This brotherhood a bond of misfortune. A love abound the insesed wound so crune. When our love stops and we grow apart Will we still run away in the dark? Eventually youmay stop loving me or mabe It is me who will stop loving you, you'll see. But if this relation lasts between us. Will our brotherhood be something more? I want to know i really do implore. Tell me after collegate affairs That the person i love still cares And after your marrage is sought The kindness and love we had wont be lost. Or tell me this brotherhood is a mask of glue. So that mabe one day i can say i do Because the fact that i love you. Eclipse2: I love you, you are probably getting annoiyed at me for this but i cant help my feelings anymore. i have never felt like this before. but i am borded so can you do anything this weekend? Call me or something. PS -good luck on your game tomorrow. I hope you feel better so you can play today ok. I know that ulser will go away. Navybrat08: Hey i cant be on for long mr. oneal said so, but i am ok. i guess just really crummy yet happy. Well later for now if i can call you i will ok later.
160 hit(s)	(11 comments) \| this life

Dreams Of Mutalation	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: chop suey-system of a down Feeling: secretive Tapping and rapping The scratching of glass Dressing deprssing Blood that spilt past My dream Decives me Percived thee And killed him It drowned him. I couldnt make it. I couldnt save it The one i cared The one who was there. I wont crie over this. But tonight i hope it will Be better. For..... The both of us.,,,,
157 hit(s)	(20 comments) \| this life

Hey	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Evanescence Feeling: excellent Hey whats up with every one else? Right now nothing is going on with me. and my parents havent found out about the charges. but they will soon. oh well. i will write more later. Eclipse2: Call me later. Navybrat08: dont feel bad. but any ways how are you?
123 hit(s)	(4 comments) \| this life

STOP	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Dylan Playing Music OK THAT IS IT. STOP REVOLVING THIS FIGHT AROUND ME. I AM SICK OF BEING IN THE CENTER OF IT. NO I AM NOT MAD AT YOU TWO BUT I AM SICK OF ONE TO THE OTHER THING. IT IS REALLY ANNOYING. NAVYBRAT: STOP THREATENING HIM AND SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT ECLIPSE: STOP SAYING YOU DONT CARE CUZ I KNOW U DO. BOTH : I REALLY COULD CARELESS IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET MAD AT ME FOR THIS BUT GROW THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU. Navybrat08: any ways things change, times change and so do people. Eclipse2: Your welcome for the gift this morning, it was nothing ^-^ LATER- For - NOW
154 hit(s)	(11 comments) \| this life

Mourning The Lost	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Nobody's Home-Avril Lavigne Feeling: secretive It is the pain we all feel inside The only thing that keeps us alive. So why is what helps us live What also help us die. Is no clue to me. Just that things go And thats just how they will be. Sorrow is morned fot only so long. Sullen is left behind And the erratic memories of people Will linger like the cold hard touch of DEATH.
139 hit(s)	(6 comments) \| this life

Hey There	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Action Action & Avril Lavigne Feeling: stylish Hey there You seem familiar. Hey there, You voice lifts me up like air I drift away into your arms Can i be by your side forever? Or can i just sit and stare? Why do you torment me? I just want to be there for you Can i be the one who pick you up, When you are down A friend of fun Laughs and a person of care. I dont want to be a shadow on your wall Or a speck in the corner of your eye The gleem is too strong for me and I only want for us to be. So please stop this madness And what happens let it be.
193 hit(s)	(35 comments) \| this life

Tuesday Is The Lonly Day	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: sum41-pieces Feeling: secretive Hey, today is a good day. a wonderful day. a good day for moving on and changing. But how are yall on SitD? < Fishie Hehe. well i will right later tonight bye for now.
126 hit(s)	(5 comments) \| this life

Still Happy	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: I'm With You- Avril Lavigne Feeling: happy Its amazing how happy i am STILL and it is nothing like before. No More: Empty Smiles Fake Happiness Groggy Self I am happy now and i hopw it lasts for now. I wonder hhow long it will last. My weekend was sheer bliss and it was awsome. i had fun with friends, and had a leizurly monday at home without any distruption. It is awsome. i am happy and i still can write poems about me. AND MOST OF ALL I CAN TRUST AGAIN!!!!! I KNOW IT ISNT LIKE ME BUT IT IS THE NEW ME. WELL SORT OF. I am still me just happier and i like it sort of. And i like the fact that i know how it feels to be down, and that i have an awsome life at this point. And people who are being bitches, DONT BOTHER ME. What so ever. and it is awsome. Well Adue for now.
134 hit(s)	(1 comments) \| this life

Um, what happened?	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Anything But Ordinary- Avril Lavigne & Brett Breathing Feeling: spent Hey, happiness is now me. All over last night was magickal and i had so much fun to. We were watching movies and have in fun. Played some vidio games and some other stuff. But any ways how are yall doing? Well as you can see i am fine. but it is amazing, ME HAPPY! Well i hope this feeling stays for a while.
117 hit(s)	(4 comments) \| this life

My One	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Brett Talk Feeling: happy Hey people i have found myself to be really happy with ou tsome people. but any ways. Today was great. I had alot of fun with brett. We hung out all day and went shopping w/ my mom of corse. Nut he is so awsome and i think he is really cute. Still like him tho but DAMN MAN IS FUCKING STRIGHT...... FOR NOW. Muhahahaha but i am not the type to turn someone. ether they are or they arent. but any who. i am fine how is everybody else?
115 hit(s)	(3 comments) \| this life

Bord	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Brett Chewing gum if that counts? Feeling: normal Hi people. i am in electronics class borded out of my mind watching people play Halo. OMFG this is sooooo boring. but any ways. Yeah today is really non chalaunt. not caring and yeah. dont mind to live or not. but any ways. I wonder if tasha is ok. she seems to have been having problems with ronnie so i wonder if she is ok? Brett cursing in the background pokes him but oh wait i am supposed to be a not caring basturd who only thinks of himself so later for now. PS- how stupid cane a person get? When he/ she thinks that words effect a person who has learned to fend for themself. but oh well. yeah i can still trust people surprizingly just people i have known for a wile. @ least 1 1/2 year. but later for now.
115 hit(s)	(6 comments) \| this life

OK	August 13th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Mr. O'Neal's Belly Aching Feeling: hated Ok for all you people who are mad at me because i put you on my friends list. I only put people on my friend's list if i can relate to them or if i like their poetry OR i know them. So back the fuck off to those of you. PS- I am ok again with him.....
139 hit(s)	(11 comments) \| this life

Hi	July 24th, 2008 @ 12:00am
Listening to: Christine Singing... except not really cause shes not alone Feeling: aloof Its been like almost 1 years so i am updating as to not get this diary deleted. so yeah... be back next year.
72 hit(s)	(0 comments) \| this life

meh

March 3rd, 2008 @ 12:00am

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// -OkCupid Testmaster
//
// OkCupid - www.okcupid.com
//
// bug reports, hatemail, etc., to testmaster at ok cupid com
//
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

OK_SHOW_LINK_TO_MY_PROFILE_1560463537033988519 = true;
OK_TEST_FONT_SIZE_1560463537033988519 = "9pt";
OK_TEST_FONT_1560463537033988519 = "verdana, arial";
OK_TEST_BG_COLOR_15