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April 18, 2008 |
I think I’m in need for another refill for Prozac.I haven’t felt this way in awhile and I’m starting to
remember how much I hated.
I always tell people I don’t regret anything in life, which I really don’t.
But I’m starting to wish those
things I don’t regret were done a little differently.
I need to stop pretending my life
has glamour and candelabra
and stop ignoring real issues.
No, I don’t have a drinking
problem nor a drug problem.
Its only a problem when I’m
sneaking into these clubs ritually
and can’t have a good time unless
I do a couple lines with 15 shots of vodka .
Then that is when I become a problem.
But am I addicted to alcohol/drugs or the loud
music and lights that bring along those things?
I’m so fucking confused.
But there I go again. Bragging about these issues
like I have something to be proud of.
And thinking these issues make my life
better than most 18 year-olds.
And then I have all these people all around me
wishing they could have my life.. But in reality,
I’m wishing I could have theirs.
But this is just a minor issue in the big-black-book
of issues I’ve been writing since birth.
Be careful of what you do wish for, I’m learning it
the hard way now.
But of course as soon I walk
to the front of the line, flaunt my fake ID, get
into the club, do my lines, have some shots...
All this fucking confusion goes away..
And that’s why I keep doing it...But the next
morning the confusion rushes back, along with
the vomit and bile rushing through my throat.
I guess this is classified as a fucking addiction. |
| (1 comments) | Pleasure Me |
