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A Love Letter By Ludwig Van Beethoven |
June 3rd, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Sex And The City: The Movie Soundtrack - Sex And The City Theme
Feeling: lucky
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us -
I can live only wholly with you or not at all -
Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits -
Yes, unhappily it must be so -
You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never -
Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves.
And yet my life in V is now a wretched life -
Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men -
At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection?
My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once -
Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together -
Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell.
Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
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| 124 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Sex And The City Quote |
May 28th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Kate Nash - Skeleton Song
Feeling: content
This is one of my favorite quotes from my favorite T.V show, Sex And The City. This quote is from the season finale of Season One:
"And then I realized I do have faith, Faith in myself, Faith that I would one day meet someone who would be sure, That I was the one." - Carrie Bradshaw
I love this quote, It reminds to to always have faith in myself, no matter what I'm going through. Also, that I won't die alone, although I sometimes feel like I will. Deep down, I know I won't, And my Mr. Right will come along. Waiting for him makes it that much more worth it♥
Well, Until later,
Be Safe.
I'll keep dreaming of you darling |
| 40 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Hate Is A Strong Word, But I Really Really Really Don't Lik |
May 10th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Plain White T's - (Hate) I Really Don't Like You
Feeling: happy
Well. This weekend was a flop, up untill 10-15 minutes ago when my best friend made my day.
Today the boy I talked about in my last entry was soposed to come down and spend the weekend with me.
But I found out and hour or so ago that he couldn't get a lift to the station so he couldn't come down. So needless to say I was heartbroken.
Plain White T's - So Damn Clever
He said he was sorry and he felt bad and all, but it still doesn't change the fact that i was sad he wasn't comming down, or the fact that I'm pretty sure it's going to be another month before I can see him again, IF that. =( This situation totally sucks!
So anyways I was telling Danielle about it and she said I should just come up to her place and spend time with her, cause really she's pretty much the only person becides the boy who can cheer me up, So we made the plans that I'll take the train up to her and she'll drive me home so we can spend more time together=) I fucking miss that girl.
♥Wifey For Lifey♥
Ashlee Simpson - Murder
But anyways earlyer today my daddy took me out to do some errans and to deal with other "harassment" issues so that part was shit and I'm not happy with the out come, but my dad is right, it's for the best and I really dont have a choice. I have to protect myself..fucking dick, its your fault for this shit! BTW the pity party left the building 4weeks ago.
I love my Daddy, he's the best! For fathers day I'm getting a tattoo of a bear paw on my ankle for him♥ I love that I'm close to both my parents. I'm also getting a tattoo of my mom's favorite flower on my other ankle for her♥
Plain White T's - Let Me Take You There
So now I'm waiting on my ride to the station and then I'm off to spend time with my best friend=) I can't wait! She = Amazing!
ILY Ms. Blunt!!!♥
Until Later,
Be Safe |
| 34 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Make Me Feel Like I'm Desperate, I'm Not Desperate |
May 9th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Ashlee Simpson - Little Miss Obsessive
Feeling: used
Alright so I has yet again been forever since I've updated. But I have decided that I need to get this out somehow and noone is around to talk to about it.
So the major thing that's changed is that Alex and I are no longer together, and this is why I feel the need to talk.
It's been about six weeks since we broke up and to be honest, I'm glad we did. I don't care how bad that sounds. I don't think a relationship should be bitching at your partner every other fucking day.
So six weeks ago, alex got pissed at me for going to see Danielle and he said we were over.
Then I act like I'm fine, cause I was, and he starts saying he made a mistake and blah blah blah i love you blah blah. But I told him I didn't want to get back together, cause I was done with fighting and being put down.
Now I'm not saying that I didn't fight back or put him down. Cause you know, It's a two-way street. But I have a limit to what I can take, and I reached that limit.
So I started seeing a new boy. and he's so great, he's sweet, funny, and he like my best friend!
And to say the least, Alex wasn't happy about that. But I told him it was too bad cause I'm aloud to move on.
So for the past six weeks he kept calling and texting me and saying all this shit about how he loves me and wants me back and how he doesn't want to live without me.
Then tonight I'd had enough and I was tired of sparing my feelings for his and I layed everything out on the table and I said it'd be better if we didn't talk anymore.
After we got off the phone we got off the phone he called my cell back which i didn't answer cause it wasn't near me, he left a message and said he couldn't keep his promise to me.
So I told my mom and she told me to call his parents so I did, and once they talked to him about it, he texted me asking why I cared. So I didn't answer it cause I just couldn't get into round 2 with the state I was in at the time.
So now my parents are all worried about me and shit that they are taking some precautions with this kind of shit. Which sucks espically cause I don't know everything they have in mind.
So yea...I'm just having a fucking S-U-P-E-R night! I also had plans for tomorrow but I don't know whats going on. Noone is responding to me. I'm so fucking upset right now and the only person I've got to talk to is Adam.
And Adam, is just amazing. I love that boy to death. He always knows exactly what to say to cheer me up. I owe him alot.
Anyways my eyes are puffy and I'm tired so I'm off to go dream horrible nightmares no doubt.
Maybe Edward is in my room protecting me and watching me fight in my dreams.
[Twilight Fans Will Understand.]
Untill later,
Be Safe. |
| 13 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Is It Just To Much Too Ask From You? |
September 2nd, 2007 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Linkin Park - Crawling
Feeling: alone
Wow, so it's been over a year or somthing since I've written anything, so hey why not update?
Well confession time, I'm really only updating this because I know he won't read this and this is a place where I'm going to be able to finally get shit off my chest.
*sigh*
Okay so updates...ummm? alot really but i'll get into that later. this is my problem that has led me to the update:
Is it to much too ask that I want to be wanted?
Or that I want you to show that you care?
Or that I would love to be treated like a queen?
No, forget that I want to be treated like the way girls are in the movies.
I wish life were like the movie, I know I've said it about a thousand times and I'll keep saying it because the movies have one great thing that reailtly doesn't:
"Movie Magic"
It's true! No matter how bad the outcome good wins, the guy gets his girl and the girl gets her "Happily ever after"
Well, where's my "Happily ever after"?
Just once, I'd like him to do something romantic with out me droping the hints. Like just once I'd love to hear "Hey, get ready were going out" or for him to take me to the amusment park and win me a giant prize. Or one, just once him to see me after work. Or to come see me when I'm down.
Now I'm sure this sounds alot worse then it is, or maybe im just in a stae of denile whatever I don't know about anything anymore, I'm so confused about everything in my life right now. Just when I finally thought I had everything back in place, I find myslef back at the end of my rope, and sombodys kicked the chair out from underneath me.
I don't even know if I should make this public or private or just make this whole Diary only for people I have on my friends list. That way he coudn't see this, but maybe I want him to see it, maybe he'll wake up and relize that I'm not going to stay if I dont feel like I'm even worth your time. But then again....
Isn't that just yet another hint? |
| 27 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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Haven't You Heard That I'm The New Cancer? |
July 21st, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: The Pussycat Dolls - Buttons
*Sigh*
Hello my emo online public, Tis been awhile but I guess I've been busy... Sort of.
Well updates on my life..:
Dollarama NEVER called me=( So I'm still pathetic and jobless, which is crap-tastic [as usual]
Nickelback & Three Days Grace, was a hella kick ass concert. I had a ton of fun with Alex, he was amazing. I bought him a t-shirt for out 3 months =) He likes it =)
Panic! At The Disco was absolutly amazing It was the best concert I've ever been too, and that mean it toped Warped Tour & My Chemical Romance! It truely amazing, thye put on a superb show! With props, actors and actresses! It was just amazing, and to make it all more better I was with Alex[♥] ANDDDDD, he even bought me a concert shirt=) It was just great. Earlyer that day he even came to my faimly party with me. It was great, the family even seemed to like him=)
Umm so that was Friday, Saturday and....... um, Sunday: Nothing really spent the day with Alex [asusual] *lol*
nothing really happened this week, I guess.
Yesterday, was mine and Alex's 3 months and it was soo much fun just being with him=)[♥]
Today, I was up at 5:30am and was at Alex's house at freakin' 7:15-7:30 this morning, just so I could spend all day with him before I had to go babysit and he had to go to his job test thingy.
So I spent the day with him and when I left I missed him right away...yah I know, I'm a losar. *lol* So I got to my aunts to babysit, visited with my fam until they all left, watched movie with Lisa, had pizza and all that jazz, sat around, then Alex called me and told me that he got his job! I'm soo happy for him even tho this means I'm going to being seeing alot less of him =( which sucks ass =(
Anyways, now I'm sitting here, bored of my ass watching T.v and updating this and I'm about to go to check on the little one.
As for tomorrow, it's more resume handing out because I need a damn job!!!
Shit.
Kids are bored, I gotta go, I'll update tomorrow if I can.
So For Now...............♥
Stay Chemical!♥
~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~
P.s.: I Love You Alex ♥ |
| 98 hit(s) |
(23 comments) |
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What Do You Do, When You've Got Nowhere Left To Hide? |
July 14th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: AFI - Prelude 12/21
Well, It's been like over a week, I'm bored, so I figured, hey why not, lets update.
Well, let me just get something out there.
Does "God" or whomever controls fate, hate me? Or do they just like to watch me sqirm?
This like past month or 2, I've seem to have nothing but bad luck. The only thing that isn't fucked up, is Me & Alex [♥], And my friends [that I have left.]
I really mean this, I used to have alot or friends, and I like really trusted them. I told them everything.
AFI - Miss Murder
And the thanks I got was being called a "fake" or whatever. Sorry I decided to be my own person. Guess they didn't want a friend, they just wanted a sheep.
Now I'm down to the friends that have remaind true, through and through. And for that I say this to you guys, I love you. Thank-you for being here for me when I needed you. It's nice to see people actually like me for who I am and what I stand for. "I Am What I Am. I Change For Noone."
Three Days Grace - Gone Forever
The past 2 days [July 12 & 13] have been one of the worst days I've had in a long time, The 12th started out great, I spent the whole day with Alex, then when mum picked me up, it all went down hill. My sister and I got into a huge fight and I got to the point where I almost said fuck this and left the house and I wasn't coming back, at least not for that night. She completely went off on me, saying shit like "You're a failure" "A total fuck-up" "Grow the fuck up"
Panic! At The Disco - There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet
So after that little "tiff" we didn't speak. Then later when I was on my way to bed, I noticed that she went into my room and took something from me. I said thanks for going in my room and then she almost broke my mirrior and all this and went off and started saything the same shit. "Grow up! maybe then you can stop being such a fuck up." At the time of this fight, I was on the phone with Alex, and after I had to get out of the house. So I sat on my deck and cried. It was great, Crying on my deck with my cell in one hand all alone, except my amazing,
Dixi Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice
and I mean amazing boyfriend was talking to me, making me feel better, just cheering me up and stuff, He's the greatest. He knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.
The next day, I woke up to my mom saying that a possible job was on the phone and here I thought "Finally, some good new comes my way." So it was Dollarama, and she asked if I could come in for an interview at 9:00am [this was 7:00am] so I said yes and so I got ready. Mum dropped me off and I went to the interview,
Daniel Powter - You Had a Bad Day
And it seemed to be going great and she ever said that I'd definatily be getting a call within the next few hours with her answer. So I left in the best mood, I even went out with mum to get my SIN number. If you didn't know you need a birth certificate, and I went there thinking that mine was in my wallet like it's always been, so I get up to the desk, my form is filled out and everything, and the guy asks for my birth certificate. So I go into my wallet, and was it in there? OF CORSE NOT!!!! So I end up looking like an ass, going back home to get it, only to find it like within 5 mins of walking through the door, only to go right back out to do it again. So I got their, gave them everything, waited to be taken into the back room when the person fills out all your info. The only good part about it was a)I now offically exist to the government, and b) the guy that helped me was a metal head [kinda cute] and his last name was SKELTON!!!!
AFI - Prelude 12/21
So that made my day. So I went shopping, and I was tired as all hell, and I still am.
AFI - Miss Murder
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp Nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Can you tell I'm tired? lol.
Well today I'm going to see Nickelback & Three Days Grace!!!!!! I'm soo happy about it too. The best part is I'm going with Alex [♥]
ANDDDDD
Tomorrow I'm going to see PANIC! AT THE DISCO!!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooo happy about it eeeeeeeee [excited!!!!!] Also seeing that with Alex (=
Well, I'm extreamly tired so that's it for me and now I'm off to bed.
Good night everybody(=
So for now............
Stay Chremical!♥
~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut♥~*~
P.s.: I Love You Alex♥ |
| 64 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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Who's That Trip-Tropin' Over My Head? |
June 29th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Panic! At The Disco - But It's Better If You Do
Mmmmkay.
So I'm sitting here in my mum's grade 1 class and it's the finnal day, and let me just say this now.
I have a new found respect for my mum, like god damn, these little bastards are driving me nuts! Go mum go! *lol*
Anyways, so I got my hair cut and I'll try to post a pic when I take a pic of it. But I'm pissed because my hair dresser fucked my hair up! she made it a ton shorter and it doesn't look a thing like the picture. Needless to say I was not pleased. So when it grows out, I'll be taking the same picture to a different hair dresser. The only reason that I'm not hiding in a dark hole, is because Alex loves it, everyone who's seen it, loves it, I'm glad Alex liked it, He's really the only person who I really hoped liked it *lol*
Moving on kiddies.
Sooo tonight I think I'm gonig over to Alex's house, but I don't know.
Finnally the kids are gone!
So there is a few movies that I want to see in theaters, they would be: Click, The Lake House, The Devil Wears Prada, and a few others.
Also I really want to rent Rent[Again], The Hills Have Eyes, Hostel & Failure To Launch. I've all readdy seen Rent & Failure To Launch, but I wouildn't mind seeing them again.
Oh ya, Linds also came over on tuesday and spent the night, we took the bus up to Blockbuster and the dollar store, and we got helieum ballons that were sweet and BATMAN BALLONS!!! it was fun sucking on helieum (: oh and we bought SEX Glasses!. We rented The Wedding Crashers and it twas funny as all hell "DEATH IS MY BITCH LOVER!" *lol* Linds(: So ya I had a blast!
But anyways, I have to go, mum wants to get the hell outta her *lol*!
So For Now.............
Stay Chemical!♥
~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut♥~*~
P.s.: I Love You Alex♥ |
| 64 hit(s) |
(5 comments) |
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Tell Myself That I Don't Miss You At All |
June 27th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Three Days Grace - Gone Forever
Been awhile eh? oh well, it's not like anyone read this... Does anyone?
Let's move on.
Soooo, Updates???... Well school is over, thank the lord. The "goth babbies" still hate my life and "soposidly" one of them wants to fight me, fuck that noise. Umm Alex and I are great [♥]. Oh! I offically got my,
Sarah McLachlan - Angel
Panic! At The Disco concert tickets and Alex also bought the Nickleback & Three Days Grace tickets which rocks(: I'm really excited:D
Umm well today I was soposed to go to my mum's school to help with her class trip, but due to the rain it was cancled...It sucks I was kinda excited *lol* oh well, Shit happens *lol*.
So tonight or tomorrow night [If mum says okay,] Linds will be coming over and staying the night :D I'm soo looking forward to that, I miss that girl, she's like my best friend(: And if she comes over then she'll be coming with me to my hair oppointment:D I'm getting it cut and dyed and all that jazz!! *excited!*
Sean Paul - Temperature
So I have a picture of how I want my hair and I'll post it on here, I don't know if it will look good or anything... If you guys have an opinion PLEASE COMMENT!!!!! this is very important *lol*
Heres the picture of the hair followed by a pic of me:
Will it look good on me?
So it shows the hair all black but i think ill have like parts of it blonde but I donno lemmie know what you think please! :D
Pink - Cuz I Can
Well I think that's it for me please comment *lol*
So For Now........
Stay Chemical!♥
~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~
P.s: I Love You Alex♥ |
| 88 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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Tell Me The Truth. |
June 13th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
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"Shhh, let's hurry up before Heather comes in."
Perfect. Just bloody perfect.
That little statment at the top is what my soposed friends said about me today while I was in the bathromo stall and they hadn't seen me yet. I just fucking love how they say shit about me behind my fucking back, If you don't fucking like me then fucking tell me. Don't drag on with this fucking bullshit.
But you know what, It's fine, I've lost my will to give a fuck. I don't care what they do anymore, I have friends that fucking accept me for who I am, And what I've become.
The question I'm trying to figure out is, what have I become? What have I done to them that was so fucking terible!?
Whatever.
I don't care anymore.
I've lost my will to care about shit anymore
No more drama for heather.
That's it. |
| 50 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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| Entry List |
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A Love Letter By Ludwig Van...
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Sex And The City Quote
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Hate Is A Strong Word, But I...
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Make Me Feel Like I'm...
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Is It Just To Much Too Ask...
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Haven't You Heard That I'm...
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What Do You Do, When You've...
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Who's That Trip-Tropin' Over...
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Tell Myself That I Don't Miss...
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Tell Me The Truth.
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You Light Up My Life Like A...
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6-6-6 The Mark Of The Beast
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Roll Down The Hill, Hold My...
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I Love You More Then A Fish...
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Everytime We Touch, I Reach...
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When I'm With You, Time It's...
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You make me sing♥...In...
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Reach Out To Me Make My Heart...
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Help Me Please, I'm Falling
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I Don't Wanna Go Another Day...
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Show Me What It's Like To Be...
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New York, New York!!!!
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I Am Not Afraid Of Life, Nor...
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I'm Begging You To Be My...
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Lost In Your Eyes, Or Is That...
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Seems Like It's Been Forever...
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Walk On Down To The Dark Side...
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Cry Me A River, Cry Me A...
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And If I Told You I Loved...
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But If My Heart Says Im Sorry...
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Suffocation, No Breathing...
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Imagnary Girlfriend.
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The rooms have a hint of...
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Survey
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And When You Go, I Want To Go...
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Fuck This, Fuck You, Fuck...
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Can You Stake My Heart?
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Where'd You Go?, Please Come...
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Spare me just 3 last words,...
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Cut My Wrists And Black My...
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I Lost Apart Of Me, When You...
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Cut This World Out With Your...
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"Why Don't You Just Drop...
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I Said, I Said, I Said
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WHY DO I LOVE YOU?
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All I Wanted Was You...I'm...
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I know this hurts, it was...
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Stupid Cunt...
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He Was Singing A Differnet...
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Give Me All Your Poison And...
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I Was A Fool To Believe
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I Am Ghost
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Soon the rain will wash away...
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Would You Kill Me In Your...
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A Letter To Someone Like...
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Block Out This Pain I Feel
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The Broken Little Girl In The...
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BOYFRIEND APPLICATION
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Fucked With A Knife
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Walk Out Of The Door Walk Out...
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Survey (Just For Linds=p)
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Climb Down Into Shatered Hole...
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Death Has Come To Watch Me...
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Your Running After Something...
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Don't Say You Need Me If Your...
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All We Have Is Memories *Sigh*
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You Burnt My Trust
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Blood Shot Heartbreak
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Fuck The Noise Bring On The...
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Just Like A Match You Strike...
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I miss you, I kissed you,...
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Cut Out My Eyes And Wear Them...
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Drag On Your Hopeless Kiss
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Blood Shed Memories
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All I Got For Christmas Was...
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Nightmare Before Xmas
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These Lyrics Were Never Ment...
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Deak The Halls With Fuckers...
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Blood Drenched Tears
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Burn My Heart With Your Lies
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Bake My Heart With Your...
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Love Is Not Like Anything...
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Would You Kill Me In My Sleep?
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Drag The Knife Across My...
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Drain The Fluid From My...
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Stab Me With Scissors...
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Nothing Really...AGAIN>:(
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Fun Day
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| 88 post(s) |
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