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274 |
September 20th, 2008 @ 11:16pm |
I'm currently waiting for the new year, I want to start fully over.
I love my memories, but I don't want to partake in them any longer.
I need a fresh new start but I don't want to delete my old memories at all.
I'm going to make a new account, and I'll start writing in it next year. I promise. |
| 166 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
:comment:
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273 |
June 29th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: ed edd and eddy
Feeling: torn
I cried, in front of him.
he was in the vehicle laying down, and I walked up to him asking if he'd at least stay in touch with me if we broke up.
he said he couldn't promise that, and I broke down.
I told him I didn't want to break up with him and he pulled me into his arms and I cried.
I cried. Telling him how I had never cheated on him and that I wish he'd believe me because it was true.
he said he knew.
I cried all the way back to the house, the hold him he held me.
we laid down, I cried a little more. and finally stopped.
I'm not ready for a break up, as much as I thought I hated him, i just wanted some freedom. |
| 97 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
:comment:
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272 |
June 29th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: nothing
Feeling: screwed
I guess we broke up, I don't know what to think really.
I mean I thought this is what I wanted but he really made me feel like shit.
I don't feel guilty. but I feel like something I had is being taken away.
I know i had said a lot of stupid things, but I would probably take them back right now.
he doesn't trust me, I told him he didn't have to, i don't trust him either, especially after waking me up at three am to say, 'we need to talk or I'm heading back to Deland'.
he went through my myspace, he checked my xtube account. everything, he was having fits I was talking to other boys.
and arranging meets with them, meets that I knew would never actually be arranged, yet he won't believe me when I say, I have never cheated on him.
I was going to meet up with this guy named steven, I thought he was cute yes, and he liked me back, but we weren't going to do anything, he knew I was in a relationship, we were going to go to gainesville and see a movie, hopefully wall-e because i really wanted to see it.
but kyle blew up when I explained that to him, because I told him I was going with kady and barbra, because he wouldn't of been able to understand.
and now look what happened, I knew he wouldn't and our relationship has plummeted.
I thought we had it settled, we had talked it out and decided we could try and fix this and if it didn't work out, we'd go our separate ways.
but when kyle got back to the computer, I guess jealousy over took him yet again, and he said he couldn't do this, and left the room, off to go sleep some where else in the house.
I should probably find him, and lay down with him, but I don't want to end up looking like a fool.
after all this is what I wanted.
I will miss his company, he was the only one I had around, but it was just too much, he was ALWAYS there. and i just wanted alone time more than anything.
but even now, five minutes after he left, I don't want this alone time anymore.
I just don't want our relationship to end on a bad note, i want to be able to say that I still can talk to him, and that we're perfectly happy people just separated.
I probably should of never starting mass adding all those friends.. |
| 33 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
:comment:
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271 |
June 26th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Britney Spears- Piece of me
Feeling: bored
my friendblasterpro stopped working, I have to get that fixed.
today is my last day of class, and i have a test, wish me luck because I didn't study =S.
-------
I was talking to this boy I'm starting to like and kyle took the cpu from me when i went to the bathroom.
now he's offline and i'm upset.
=(
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| 34 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
:comment:
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270 |
June 24th, 2008 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: the oblongs
Feeling: torn
710 friends and still growing. the friend adder really is working.
and i'm always checking my messages and talking to people. Addicted? I think so as well.
but I feel happier knowing I always have something to return to.
kyle hates it that I'm always at the computer, but that's always been the case so I don't know what's any different, I guess it's because I'm talking to other boys as well.
Jennifer is upset because i haven't broken up with him, I decided to call her today, and then say, "I did it!" to see what she would think that 'it' was, turned out that she thought I broke up with kyle. so I guess that's what she really wants.
I would, but he's getting on my better side as of recently. so yeah.
I'm really tired, I want to go to bed, but I don't. I was suppose to be able to add more friends, yet apparently it says I can't ;_; oh well.
my last day of class is thursday, and then there's an end of semester party at Jennies on saturday.
I think I'll go lay down after checking my myspace once more.
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| 37 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
:comment:
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