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i dont even know anymore |
May 10th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Little Yellow Box
Feeling: depressed
I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE
I don't know where my life is going now.
Same thing every day
I dont know what is what and who is who
I'm soo scared about where i'm going to be down the road..
I wish i was a kid
no worries
no worries
So life? what is it
thats what i wonder
thats what i wonder
thats what i wonder about
i wonder about life
life life life life life
i needed to get some things off my chest
every day
same day
same old day
same old day over and over
I have to get this out
Give me empathy
I don't know
I DON'T know
but honestly my past makes me sad
my future makes me worried
and now, now I am just content I guess
alive and well
more so alive than well
MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC
music
thats all i can think about without going crazy
but even music
makes me a bit crazy
certain music triggers memories
memories = past
past = sadness
so what did i accomplish in this post
nothing
but I wonder about wondering about wondering
I wonder
whats left to wonder
too many thoughts for such a weak mind
WHERE IS LOVE NOW?? |
| 85 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Cut Away
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you know |
May 8th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: MeWithoutYou
Feeling: awful
just might write in here later |
| 26 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
Cut Away
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its been awhile |
February 20th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: sufjan stevens
Feeling: sane
so it's been quite some time sence i'v written in here. Quite awhile if you will. I noticed nobody uses these anymore including myself and i forgot about it until just now. I don't even know what made me remember. But this is all my past all who I was and what I didn't know. If anybody reads this leave me a message. I figure everybody has a sweet myspace these days so they just use those, but this was trendy back in the day too.. haha. You know lately, i'v just been doing good in school, chillen with people, and of course, music, the first priority in my life. I feel like I could write so much right now, so much about what's been going on. But what's the point? Although I do wish I had some memories written down to look back on them and have a good laugh. But, at the same time I'm glad that I don't have some memories written down here, because they would tear me up. But I guess each entry tells a little storie, although it was of a past and I'm not sure if it was better or worse. Right now I'm thinking worse because of certain things that make it seem gruesome. But I have also changed alot since then so maybe I just wouldn't handle those situation in such an extreme way. But life has just been bleek and absolete lately. It's ok though, because life is what you make of it. I don't know I wonder about too much man, it's just i think about everything and I consider things too much I just over analize, you just gota go with the flow and relax. But anyway enough rambling, I don't know where I will go from here. Maybe another brilliant, uplifting, poetic entry is on the way.. hahah..
You've got a lure I can't deny. |
| 45 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
Cut Away
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who the fuck are you |
October 30th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Thursday
Feeling: patriotic
I do have some stuff I want to write about but now is not the time.. i sort of miss writing in here seeing as iv just spent the last half hour reading about my past.. maybe i just try to hard to live in my past.. The more i think about it, the more i realize that my life revolves around music and i know now that if my job is not in some kind of music in the future i wont be happy.. and i realize that the time to take action and to aspire to be great and fullfill my goals is now.. and really what are we all except just masses of bones and other tissues? you know what i'm saying? THE TIME IS NOW!!!!!! fucking philosophy shit.. allright i'll try to write in here tomorrow if i remember.. maybe this can help clear my minds of all the ridicules that i face.. all the obstacles and all of the truths i face everyday.. all the realizations i come to and all the nirvanas i strive for...
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP IN ORDER TO DREAM |
| 61 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
Cut Away
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you dont even know |
September 14th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Trophy Scars
Feeling: confused
havn't written in a bit.. school started.. yeah i dunno i think sitdiary is kind of dying if not dead.. some people still use it but its not the same.. i dont know.. mad lazy to update this alot .. but basically its just been going to school.. and chillen.. thats my life for ya.. maybe if something cool happens ill write about it |
| 78 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
Cut Away
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sweet |
September 3rd, 2005 @ 12:00am |
humm so today is uhh saturday.. ill start from thursday.. well ok so i woke up earlyyy like 9 something.. crazy then i just sat around all day waiting and waiting then finally around 6:30 nique and tt came and picked me up and then we got sheridan and drove a couple of hours to poughkeepsi!!!! sooo what were we doing in poughkeepsi? seeing bands play of course.. so first off we got there a little bit late so when we got there 30 seconds to mars was playing.. they were allright.. then next was H2O they were pretty good.. then after that was... THE USED whohoo.. they were amazing.. anyway so yeah just listened to all that music screamed my lungs out and had an awesome fucking time.. then afterwards got out of there and drove around poughkeepsi looking for some stupid bridge for mad long.. haha asking random people where it was at.. then finally we found it and then stopped at a gas station and got some drinks cause we were dyingg.. then we went to a diner..hahah... listened to some sweet tunes on a jukebox thing on our table.. then we were trying to put spoons on our noses.. then we were trying to put then anyother possible place on our face.. good times... then we bounced out of there and drove homeee.. I had a fucking awesome night.. some some awesome bands with some awesome people!! it was glorius.. then i got home and passed outttt... then Friday.. or yesterday however you want to look at it.. lucci same and JO picked me up and we went and smoked an L then we picked up jut and smoked another one.. then i went to chris' to see what he was up to then went to my house and chowed down on some munchies.. then nate came over.. but then had to leave.. then around 7:30 i went to the rams game and just walked around looking for people but i dont know.. then just chilled with everyone that was there.. watched some of the game .. ya know.. then afterwards walked home and went inside for a little bit then chilled outside with my bro and a few of his friends.. then we went to jasons house for a party.. mad people showed up.. smoked a nice fat L of some good shit .. had a few beers.. played some flip cup.. i was feeling good..it was a goood night..then i dunno his mom got mad or something so they started kicking people out.. so we left and i went home and passed out on my couch.. and today i havn't done anything just been sitting around...
I'm not fucked, not quite |
| 67 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Cut Away
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werd |
September 1st, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: G-unit on Tv
Feeling: excited
Havn't written lately but.. nothing really has been going on.. I can't remember for the life of me what has happened lately but I do remember one day.. because it was the best night I had in a long while.. so it was just a regular day of me sitting around doing nothing then I went down to chris' house and chilled there then bob and some kids picked me up and I ate a hallucinogen.. hahahh.. but hallucinate, I did not.. but anyway so I went home and chilled there for a bit then some people called me telling me to go to the 4diamonds.. so as soon as i get outside.. I just start running.. full speed, no idea why. so i get to 4diamonds and that shit is just buggin me out.. yeah so then alyysa and mike picked me and chris up and we went to her house.. and then bren came.. and nikki.. so smoked 3's and just felt awesome the whole time and had a great night... then we went to taco bell and mike forgot to give them money so we go into the drive through and realize that nobody had money so we go in reverse out of the drive through hahah hillarious.. so then i went home and was up for probally 3 hours just thinking about life and everything.. it was fucking rediculous i couldnt sleep i just kept thinking about everything.. that was the only bad part of it.. so yeahy thats about all i remember from what i'v been doing anyway yeah mayube ill write in here more.. if i'm not too busy.. |
| 50 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Cut Away
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jeahhh |
August 19th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Damian "Junior Gong" Marley
Feeling: hateful
so I havn't written in here in about a week.. I don't really remember what I'v been doing.. I'll try though.. Ok so saturday.. I went over to luccis around 1:30 and then we picked up moe and bob and someone else and went back to luccis and I didn't smoke weed the whole day.. but somehow i ended up spending 25 bucks ? so anyway chilled there for awhile.. then JO and Amanda came.. and then joe and gappy came.. and then moe brought me home.. then i just sat around all night.. then sunday i made some money con mi madre.. then i went to the racetrack with her and mi abuela to get those saratoga blankets or whatever.. then i went home and chilled there for a bit and then.. Nate and Bren picked me up and we were on our way to Saratoga Winners to see Finch, A static Lulluby, Rx bandits, and the exits.. so anyway rolled 5 nice J's on the way.. haha what else is new.. so we got there and we waiting outside for a little bit and Rx bandits started playing so we got in and caught like their last song.. then we went outside and smoked 3 of the j's and some guy wanted to match with us.. but we just had those so we couldnt and then when we got down to the roaches we put them in his bowl and smoked that.. then we went inside and watched a static lulluby .. and they were allright.. i dont really know any of their songs though.. but anyway then the exits were playing next and nate wanted to smoke but i was like i wana see if their good first.. so we listened to them and they were awesome.. so we like run outside and are about to spark the other 2 j's when a guy that works there yelled at 2 other guys.. so we went up to him and asked them what they got yelled at for and i guess drinking or something.. so then the guy was like do you have any papers? we're like naa and he pulled out a nice bag of some good dro.. so hes like if you guys smoke me up ill give you a nug.. so of course we do.. and get a nice nug.. so then we just go back in and listen to the rest of the exits.. mad chill..then we just waited around and shit for finch to start.. and this one girl comes up to me and nate and is fucking blasted and is just like.. "ARE YOU READY TO TEAR THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN" and she was acting like she knew me and shit it was funny though.. and then i didnt see here for a few songs and then i saw her agian and she acted like we used to be mad good friends and we just met up agian.. haha.. so anyway finch was pretty sick.. although their new album.. ehh i'm not feeling it too much.. but anyway i was sweaty as hell.. some gross shit.. so anyway left there and then went and got mcdonalds.. yeahh.. then we dropped nate off at his house and he left the nug .. muahaha.. so i took that home and refrained from smoking it.. so then i just went home and went to sleep cause i was beatttt...
so monday.. i sat around most of the day and then i went to luccis house a little bit later bit nobody else had bud to throw down only me.. soo it was just me, bob, lucci, JO, ozug, and pete just sitting around so then my mom brought me and bob to my house and we hung out there for a bit and then went down to middle school and smoked that nug of dro.. that was some pretty good shit.. props to whoever the kids name was that gave it to us..
So now we're at tuesday? ok well i sat around my hosue for a good while.. then lucci, JO, and sam came and picked me up and we drove and got a phillie and then we parked somewhere and smoked an L.. then we went back to lucciland and jut, and nick were making food and moe was upstairs or something .. so we just chilled there for a bit and ate and stuff.. then they all got in one car and me, Jo, and sam took her car and we got some dutches.. then we rolled up at vets.. then we went and smoked in the price chopper parking lot.. haha. so then we dropped of JO.. and then went back up to luccis.. then same brought me home and i just chilled and whatever..
so then wednesday.. I picked up chris around 2 or something like that.. we went up to luccis but nobody was there so we went down to the southside and on the way i almost crashed the car.. i was going into a turn and i was going like 40 or something and i didnt feel like stopping so i just turned going at that speed and i slid across the road onto the grass and was about a foot from a roadsign.. that would have sucked balls if i hit it.. then i swerved out of the way of it and went across the road and then steadied out.. then we talked to mex for a minute.. then we went to lynch and met up with some kids and scored some bud.. went back up to my house and rolled an l and smoked on my porch. then chris went home and i dont even know what happened the rest of the day..
So then thursday.. picked up wren agian and we drove up to luccis but he was there this time but we woke him up so he was still laying in bed.. then sheridan and nick called so i went and picked them up and went back to luccis and then me and wren went to barkly because there was supposedly people playing basketball there but there wasnt anyone there.. or so we thought.. so then we went back over to my side of the river and were up by my house and he calls mex and mex is at barkly.. so i drive back over there.. then a little bit later lucci, moe, nick, and sheridan come and everyone except me nick and lucci played basketball .. so me nick and lucci go up to his aunts work and he gets money from her and she gives us a pizza and a 2 liter of pepsi.. haha.. then we go back to the courts and they all leave and me and chris go back to our houses.. then a little bit later bob comes over and we play some thug.. then we went down to chris' and nikki is there and adan and billy come too.. ohh and nate..then chris gets a bag on the front.. then we get "dexter's lab" and chill at the 4 diamonds.. then they all bounce and me and bob go up to my house.. then we walk to mcdonalds get some food and then we go to fastrack and get honey buns and lolipops and jolly ranchers.. then we call chris back up and him and nate come back to the 4 diamonds and we use dexters lab aagian and then i go home and just chilled there and fell asleep..
then today i was in trouble or something so i have just been sitting around all day doing nothing... mad boringggg |
| 70 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
Cut Away
|
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Ohh Dag |
August 12th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: The Mars Volta
Feeling: vain
Right so just to freshen my memory.. Sunday I went to another swim meet but agian wasn't too bad just chilled with everybody. Then lets see.. after that Adrian came over and we went to the 4 diamonds and played some lax and him and chris rolled a couple L's but i retained myself and only took a few hits.. then then went somewheres and i went home cause my parents are lame like that.. so.. wow i cant keep track of days. but ill say monday nate came over and we went down to chris' house and whatever.. then i dont really know what else went on.. tuesday i think i sat around for awhile then went to some more swim shit.. played some football with little kids.. then afterwards... ok so i went over to adrians around 9:30 and I show up and in his chill room is Jut, Ozug, willega, wren, and nikki. then jut smoked an L and me adrian and ozug smoked 3 L's i think and wren nikki and ryan went somewheres.. then they came back and sheridan, lucci, moe, and nick came and we rolled up about a half.. like 10 more L's .. so by then I was fruckkkeddd up.. so yeah I couldnt even sit down and shit i was buggin.. then sheridan, lucci, moe, nick, and jut went to TT's and ozug went home so it was just the rest of us and then greg, and mike A came .. and well i was feeling like shit so i got out of the hot boxed fucking room and went outside of there and was just sitting agianst his wall and i start feeling sick so i hustle outside and throw up outside.. fucked uppp you know.. so im done with that and of course i still feel like shit so i go to adrians bathroom and im just laying on the floor there for a good while.. damn i always end up sleeping on someones bathroom floor.. hhahah.. so anyway im in the there right and "abraham" aka Julio comes in and is asking me all these questions and then i guess they were all in adrians little room and smoking and drinking and shit and adrians mom walked in there.. sooo they kicked everybody out.. so we are waiting outside for mad long and they are waiting to get inside to get a backpack or some shit.. so i have lucci pick me up cause i wanted to see what was going on at TT's so he picks me up and by now its like 1 o clock.. so he tells me everyone is leaving tts.. so we drive up there and pick up moe, nick, sheridan, and jut.. dropped off jut then went and dropped off sheridan and an undercover was following us the whole time so we were bugging out.. but we lost him around the corners .. ha. so then i had nowhere to go since i was planning on crashing at mexicans.. sooo i was fucked so i call up chris and his drunk ass doesnt know whats going on and he's telling me that they are in saratoga going to a strip club or some shit and greg tells me they will be back in a half hour and to wait on his neighbors porch right.. so his neighbor has a couple wooden chairs and a wooden bench out there so i was sitting in the chairs for probally 20 minutes or something and then i lay in the bench and i think i passed out for awhile so probally like an hour later or something i wake up and hear voices coming from gregs and they are all chillen in the camper so i pop up in there and they think im someone else or some shit like that shining a flashlight on me and shit.. so then they are just chillen in there drinking 40's and rum and shit but i didn't even drink really and by then it was like 3:30 or some shit thats the only time i remember and the high wore off.. so nikki, greg, chris, and mike went skinny dipping or something but i didnt want to go because i was fucking freezing so i just chilled in the camper with ryan for awhile and fuckking laid there wrapped in a sleeping bag.. so i dunno the night rolls on and on and then mike leaves and greg goes inside to go to sleep since hes got summer school and shit.. so we are just chillen in the camper for awhile then they think they hear shit so we decide to leave.. and nikki was fucking drunk so i had to drive.. ya know.. so we were going to go to price chopper for some reason i dont know why but i forgot to turn and i turned into the high school so we go out onto the soccer feilds and its just getting light out since its like 5am and we are all running on no sleep but mad hyper.. so we are just running around the field and shit and then we find a soccer ball so we are fucking around with that some.. and then wren is a fucking idiot and kicks down the door to the snack bar.. hahha though funny shit.. so there was nothing even in there so we bounce out of there and i drive down to romayne and park the car in an idea that we were gana sleep cause its now like 6 o clock or suttin around there.. so me and willega were like fuck that and we take a hike to mcdonalds cause we are hungry as fuck.. so i got some hotcakes and he got something.. and then awhile later nikki and chris drive down and chris passes out in the car and nikki ate some food too.. then we go up to chris' house and nikki and ryan pass out in chris' room cause they are tired.. and nobody feels good at this point.. so me and chris are bored so i go to my house and grab the whip and then head back to chris' and he takes out nikkis car and we drive over to mcdonalds.. and get some more food then we ride to my house eat there then we went back out cause he wanted me to follow him somewhere or something.. so i get stuck at a light and then i cant find him so i head home.. then he comes back and picks me up and we go to his house.. and then i go back home grab all my change and shit and then i go back down there and mother fucker is sleeping so i'm like you wana go to price chopper and he doesnt want to so i drive up there, cash in my change, and then went back to chris' and he just wants to sleep now doesnt even want to do anything anymore.. so i have lucci and moe and pete pick me up and we go get a dutch and shit and then we went and picked up jut and then went to luccis, hotboxed, then we went and picked up ozug, and rolled another L then smoked at barkley.. dropped off ozug.. then i went home and did nothing i dont think.. then umm i think that takes me to thursday.. so i sat around for most of the day and then lucci, moe, roman, and amanda picked me up and we went up to luccis.. and then they picked up sherdian and we used the chikita stick, and uhh the "mean green roach killing machine?" since it cant be called "the green goblin" anymore because word is there is already A "Goblin".. so anyway then chilled there then dropped off sheridan, then they dropped me off..then later that night i met up with bob and chilled with him for awhile and smoked some bowls out of the infamous "MICHAEL ANGELO"..haha.. o man.. then Today around 1, lucci, moe, jut, and ozug picked me up and we went to barkley agian and chilled on the picnic tables.. then dropped off ozug, and jut and then we went up to lucciland.. and chilled there for awhile then went down to jons to meet carl.. then back up to luccis.. then woj came over for a bit.. then he bounced.. then opalka came.. then we went and picked up amanda.. then back to luccis and rolled up an L.. then chilled there then i dont know went home around 7 or something... and havn't done nothing since..and that was my week.. sorry for the redundantness and the lack of excitment but thats my life for you..
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE |
| 65 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
Cut Away
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fuck, not agian |
August 5th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
Listening to: Radiohead
Feeling: sore
Well let me tell you what I'v been up to.. or what I can remember.. Well Monday uhh I think.. Brandon, Bob, and Moe picked me up and we went to someones house and hung out with these people for awhile.. then left there and drove around and shit and then went to brandons.. ohh yeah we picked up adrian some time before.. so rolled a few L's at luccis.. then went home later and chilled with wren and roman for a bit then went home.. Tuesday?? ohh yeah.. I think I went to Adrians.. yeah.. rode around there for a bit chilled and such then went back to the castle aka adrians house.. ate some food adrian passed out i watched tv .. left later.. and i dont think i did anything else that night.. Wednesday.. Didn't do much.. then Brandon, moe, bob, and gappy picked me up and we rolled a fat L and then drove around and shit.. then we went to KFC.. and bob and moe went to mercatos then gappy and brandon went to mcdonalds.. then i went home and saw chris and nate on the way.. went home grabbed my lacrosse stick.. went back out chilled at the 4 diamonds then went to lynch and played some lax cause there were lights there.. then friday i went to chris' and chilled there then i went to my house with chris and yeah.. then nate came over and my parents came home so we bounced and played some lax at 4 diamonds and then my mom found me and brought me home and i guess they knew we were smoking in my room.. so I got in trouble for smoking... yet agian.. so today i couldnt do anything so sat around all day and thne went to a uber boring swim meet but it wasn't too bad.. then had some subway after.. word..
|
| 54 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
Cut Away
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| Entry List |
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i dont even know anymore
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you know
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its been awhile
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who the fuck are you
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you dont even know
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sweet
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werd
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jeahhh
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Ohh Dag
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fuck, not agian
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change of pace
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good idea
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Tears in my eyes burn
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I got a broken heart, and...
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...
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blank
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2113
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more money, more problems
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I blush at your request to...
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k
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same shit, different day
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Oh, what happened?
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its making me dissy.. i like...
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i fucking hate you
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shut the fuck up
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i think im dying
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fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,...
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everybody is a joke
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All I know is I feel better...
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what the...
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you know i dont speak spanish
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you know something?
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tired
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This isn't how I planned it
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A single spark can start a...
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Cause I'll never, never sleep...
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cool man
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fuck everything
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times change
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You're just sombody that I...
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!`12
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Whoahhhh
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AH!
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makes you think
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Come on, What !
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you know something...
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WHat
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zyx
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Boston Adventure
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yo
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Wasting away..
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Thats an idea
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Same stuff..
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I'm staying alive.. kicking...
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Just the Usual
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Same old..
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Change
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Who knows
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Trick-Or-Treat
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fucking awsome
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Hahah whohoo
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hmmmm
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Good times...
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Hello
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Whohooo #50
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Live It Up
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I'm not wasting anymore
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I'm a waste
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Just another week
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Entry #45
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We finally hit bottom..
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Last day of my summer..
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So long sweet summer
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Let's pretend that our hearts...
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I'm not ok
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Escape Artists Never Die
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DAMNIT!
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Fuck
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Late Nights
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Canadia ehh?
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Thats Awsome
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FUCK !
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Time to update
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I know exactly what goes on
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I'm wasting energy
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Chill Out!
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Theres no more use for me
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Must be over 4 feet to read..
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WHOOOOOOOOO
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FUCK YOU
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So this is summer....
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Not agian...
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Another knife in my hands...
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Just another boring entry
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Like A Bullet Through A Flock...
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So Long Sweet Summer
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Long Night
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Give Up
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I'm fucking nuts!
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Everythings falling apart
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So sick of being tired
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I miss you more than I did...
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SWEETNESS
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Happy fathers day
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Almost Summer...
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Something more like a feeling
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*Case of the Mondays*
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Just another Sunday
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What a coincidence.....
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Some days go on too long
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Someone told me to do this..
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BORINGG
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Recap
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First Entry
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| 114 post(s) |
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