Well... Um... Reading through this was all kinda pretty depressing. So I decided to update, cos life is awesome!

Okay... For those who've read my entries, you'll understand this babble a lot more, for others, its probably not gona make as much sense...

I don't miss Benjy anymore. My eyes have been well and truly opened and I know why my family and a lot of my friends didn't like him. Basicly he's a complete prick.

I've moved on a lot quicker than I thought I would... Could be considered a bad thing, but I'm finally happy. Within 2 weeks of us splitting up I was dating again, and now, months later, I'm engaged to that guy. He makes life the best thing ever. At last I feel appreciated, and he doesn'y complain that our relationship is a "look after lou-lou show". Well it wouldn't have to be because we look after each other, presumably thats what couples do ya know, so its no chore, as it seemed to be for certain people before.

I'm gona go now, got stuff to do an' all.

Bye people!

xox

Try not to talk, when there's nothing to say.

Kept bottled up, we get carried away.

Then I fall, then I fall down.

Then we fall down.

And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous.

A pocket full of posies..

We fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside.

Turn it around, can we turn it around?

Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.

But it's looking up.

A second chance, a much better day.

A sunset that just won't go away.

Then I fall, then I fall down.

We all fall down.

And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous.

A pocket full of posies..

We fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside.

Turn it around, can we turn it around?

Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.

But it's looking up.

And you know you said you'd never end up this way.

Close the door behind you, i just wanna stay for a while.

We all fall down, we all fall down, we all fall down.

Down on the inside; pretty on the outside.

Turn it around, can we turn it around?

Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.

Down on the inside; pretty on the outside.

Turn it around, can we turn it around?

Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now.

But it's looking up, its looking up, its looking up, its looking up, its looking up.

-- Hello.

I'm bored shitless.

Will someone make something interesting happen?

Else I'm just gona go off-riding on my bike in the pouring rain at 3:30 in the morning.

If it's raining at 3:30 in the morning that is.

Why do emo-kids complain so much? It's kinda annoying. Especially when they always come to you for advice. Well... Here it is...

"Stop whining because if you don't I'll make sure you have something to whine about. Wash your face cause its covered in run mascara and you kinda look like you haven't had a bath for three months. And take a sidestep to the left of the door so I can walk out of it and close it behind me so I can't hear you complain."

Ah... I feel so much better now.

Rock out Baaybay.

xox

-- Argh!

*sings* I'm addicted to you!!!

I think I actually am lol. Been with him every day this week... and I miss him already. So much so I have a headache and I feel quite sick. It's well weird. Kinda feel empty and my heart really hurts. The necklace he gave me today smells like him. You'd think that'd be comforting? It makes me feel worse!! >.<

He was gonna try phone me tonight... but he hasn't... I hope he's okay... Maybe he'll phone me tomorrow? I hope so...

OMG! I worry soooo much! It's annoying actually.

Okay Cupid. You got me. You got me good. I hate you. Why are you such a smartass?! I promised myself I'd never fall in love. That wasn't an invitation to hit me with everything you had!!... Thing is... It's not that bad really. But I'm terrified of getting hurt. It's been over a year now. So far so good. Been a few hiccups. But we got through them.

Ilove you so much Ben.

And theres nothing I can do to stop me thinking about you.

I'm crazy, I'm crazy about you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Fuscia lipstick,

And heels that could kill,

You wonder why she tries,

It’s her escape,

It’s the only way,

She can face the world,

To be someone else.

Is it really you they see?

Is it you or fantasy?

Hide away,

Behind the lace,

You’ll be someone else,

The real yous traceless.

Build a dream,

And just a play a role,

Make up the words,

As you go along.

Hope for the best,

And keep on smiling,

No one will know who you are,

No one will know.

Such confidence is,

Coming from you,

They take you for a fool,

They have no idea,

This image ain’t sincere,

And it’s all made up,

Right there on the spot.

Is it really you they see?

Is it you or fantasy?

Hide away,

Behind the lace,

You’ll be someone else,

The real yous traceless.

Build a dream,

And just a play a role,

Make up the words,

As you go along.

Hope for the best,

And keep on smiling,

No one will know who you are,

No one will know.

wowaaaaa... long time no typy here!

i miss blogging... but i have nothing to blog abaout really. not that i can be bothered to type anyway lolz.

i think luke likes me. oh god thats a scary thought. owch.

anyway... im gna go eat toast.

CRAZY!!!

xoxooxoooxooxox

-- Well today was alright.

Tonnes of revison, n' I'm still goin'. ((Haha)) Those who know me knows what that means. xD

Anyway. I'm bored, fed up, achey, lost and lonely. So someone give me something to distract me from this 'orrible pain in my back??

Loves! xXx

CARRY ON.

So they've locked you up,

Standing so silently in the cold.

You feel like letting go,

Every second you're growing old.

They told you its too late now,

They kicked you to the ground,

They tried to tame your soul now,

And you think you're going down.

Like anything we were born to die,

Like fire put out by rain,

But the storm caused the city to burn,

Yet the waters kept it tame.

When their whispers break you down,

Don't let them control your mind,

Get back up and take to flight,

And leave the suckers behind.

You're out on the edge,

Has your last minutes just begun?

You could end it all now,

But it wouldn't be much fun.

It's colder than before,

But there's fire in your heart,

You can hear your soul screaming,

You'll refuse to fall apart.

They told you its too late now,

But you know its not over yet,

They try to tame your soul now,

But how wilder can you get?

Like anything we were born to die,

Like fire put out by rain,

But the storm caused the city to burn,

Yet the waters kept it tame.

When their whispers break you down,

Don't let them control your mind,

Get back up and take to flight,

And leave the suckers behind.

Like anything we were born to die,

Like fire put out by rain,

But the storm caused the city to burn,

Yet the waters kept it tame.

When their whispers break you down,

Don't let them control your mind,

Get back up and take to flight,

And leave the suckers behind.

Like anything we were born to die,

Like anything we were born to die,

We were born to die,

Born to die. xXx

GIVE UP AND LET GO

Have you ever wondered why?

Have you ever asked for another reason?

Have you considered why I left so soon?

I left so I stopped hurting you.

It seemed like we took forever,

But it was only a matter of years,

For something we thought was solid,

To break down and end in tears.

Friendships are over rated,

The close ones end up far away,

And when the others are by you,

The best ones dissolve and decay.

All the pain and hate I’m feelin’,

All the lies and anger I got used to,

I thought I ought to let you know,

I fuckin’ hate you, fuckin’ hate you.

In the dark I’m all alone,

But it’s better than being with you,

It’s so quiet without your crying,

Don’t stop trying: to give up and let go.

Got fed up with constant failin’,

Got annoyed with avoiding questions,

I don’t care if you try to

Give up and let go.

Through all the lies you told me,

I saw the truth in your eyes,

No point trying to justify your case,

Not a chance of compromise.

Friendships are over rated,

The close ones end up far away,

And when the others are by you,

The best ones dissolve and decay.

All the pain and hate I’m feelin’,

All the lies and anger I got used to,

I thought I ought to let you know,

I fuckin’ hate you, fuckin’ hate you.

In the dark I’m all alone,

But it’s better than being with you,

It’s so quiet without your crying,

Don’t stop trying: to give up and let go.

"Bai is out to get you. ((you dont say))

I'm so sorry. ((liar))

I love you. ((liar))

Can you ever forgive me? ((can you go away?))

If I could get it back I'd return your soul.((haha))

I love you more than you know. ((you dont know what it is))

I was never really against you. ((coulda fooled me))

I never knew how much you meant to me untill Bai said what he was going to do to you.

((better late than never?))

Markie hates me, Don't you join him??

((good for him))

Please. I'm begging you.

((don't make me laugh))

I love you so much Lauren.

((you so dont, curtis))

Let me show you how much.

((let me break your neck?))

You'll never understand the scale of how much, Its completely out of proportion to anything I've ever felt before.

((the only thing you've ever felt is the need to eat sleep and annoy people))

You own my heart.

((you dont fuckin have a heart))

Shaddow

((loser))"

-- Why has she put "Don't Speak" on her blog!? She ain't "loosing" me she fuckin' "pushed me away"! So much craaaaap.