| giovanno's depression |
April 9, 2008 |
it has been 3 months since grandpa died. i'm glad that grandma is fine now.
she's a strong woman. she doesn't harbour feelings.
she had done her major grieving and has got her life back in track as she wants it.
whenever people are mourning she never stops them, instead she sais 'let it out'. i love her for doing that.
now her life is even better and more lively than before. at least that's how i know and also wish for.
meanwhile dad is now suffering another awful period of the grief, which follows the self-loathing period, the suicidal period,
the violent period, the regret period and the i-am-really-fine-so-leave-me-alone period: the sleepy period.
neither eating nor staying awake does he want.
he told me that he's going to start over his life again. and when we were all ready to help him start over he slept all day.
everyone who had tried to wake him up wouldn't want to do that again.
he's like no more than a walking dead, a zombie. even when he isn't sleeping he looks like he is.
i thought this isn't medicable because people need time getting thru deaths of family, but now i have 2nd thoughts.
who knows how long it takes to get thru the grieving? how much is enough for a decent, sensitive man to grieve? (too bad he's atheist)
maybe we should give him more time and be supprotive and patient.
or maybe we shouldn't let the despair grow deeper in his mind. it's like cancer. eating one away from inside the body.
darn. this is what happens to people who never realize how much worse they can take .
and once they know it, they will dodge every predictable challenge and eventually become weaker.
duh......i've no idea what am i saying.
here's something exciting. i finally learnt upper cut yesterday.
despite my hook sucks, bayman said my upper cut is strangely enough very good!
in fact i've been working on my hook for over 10 hours.
and that helps my hook 'effect', thank you so very much.
you train, you gain indeed. it's so simple. that's why boxing is better. |
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