| All That I'm Living For. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
Listening to: Evanescence.
Feeling: abandoned
You know, I've tried other Diary-Type places...and I always come back here..because frankly. they all suck.
Sit holds a dear place in my heart, and has a much homey-er... .. feel.
So, on a more frightening note..
I go to T.A. starting monday.
I haven't gone to a public school since second grade, so I'm pertified.
Seriously, my previous school had MAYBE 15 high school/middle school students. That's grades 6-12. 15 students.
Now I'm switching to a school that has about 1,300 hundred in just grades 9-12.
Though, I needed to get out of my other school. Those life sucking ass holes were making me tweak.
It kind of sucks because I'd love to be able to spill my heart out on sit.. but Sit must earn my trust back!
Oh Dear Me!
Anyyyway.
This was fun.
Yay. |
| 77 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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SOmeone kill me.
Please. |
| 62 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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I took a shrapnel to my neck.
And I was no longer. |
| 111 hit(s) |
(10 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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MEOW!
Fear me. |
| 57 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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What does one do when they have no one to vent to anymore?
And anyone that you've tried to talk to decided that you were too much of a hassle to bother with anymore.
Everyone has their own problems...but it's difficult to deal when you feel so alone?
I did shit I promised I would never do again.
Everything seems so pointless now.
What's the point of walking when you have to do it alone? |
| 74 hit(s) |
(1 comments) |
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| Wow. |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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It doesn't hurt as much as it used to..More blood though.. |
| 58 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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| Uhhh |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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uhh...What to write? lol |
| 54 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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| Wee |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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Imma Be the Birfday Girl in... 2 Hours! |
| 69 hit(s) |
(2 comments) |
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| The World KeepsTurning |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
Listening to: M.I.A-Galang
Feeling: alienated
Not much has changed with me.
Still completely misinterpreted by everyone around me, and my mother has even possibly gone even more so off the deep end.
I'm just waiting for her to try to kill herself with Vitamin C pills again. LOL.
School is ridiculous...Since when has ANYONE heard of learning bible verses in a GOVERNMENT class. honestly.
The whole book is based on the biased opinions of these christian tyrants. I've learned two things in this class: 1. Apparently 'God' is the governement and is the only aspect that it holds, when wanting to learn anything...Go to that. 2: My school in even shittier that I assumed.
Public school [ although I fear it greatly ] is the only way for me to actually learn anything..I've heard Thornton is one of the best schools in Maine anyhow.
Silly really, 8 years wasted on this place...and now I'm terrified of going anywhere else.
This school has twisted me, contorted my own new-birthed beliefs and now I'm sick of it..
But because of it, it halters my path to a new beginning. I don't even know where to start. My social skills are shit. I've never really liked people, but...It's never been THIS bad. LOL
But, I'll deal. That's the way it is...What life is about to me. Dealing..
Doesn't mean you have to go down without a fight though....otherwise life would be dull and unsuspenseful.
And that's even more terrifying than the concept of a public school to me..
I'm a type of person that needs change...Growth.
Anyone sense future long term relationship problems?! lol
But now...There is a difference between growth and security to me..
I need a little security these days.
People are too flexible...Unrealible...Maybe in tying someone into that contract of a relationship they change...
I highly doubt it though...
I really need to stop over analyzing things...
It just makes me babble. |
| 89 hit(s) |
(4 comments) |
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| Ugh |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
Effing Image Manager is being a slut.
oh well...
Shorty entry...
Too lazy to type. |
| 52 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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Everything I try to put into words turns into dust. |
| 95 hit(s) |
(3 comments) |
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| That certain someone? |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
....Honestly, I think I'm just doomed to be alone forever...
I find that the more I hope that one day I'll meet that special guy, the more my hopes are defeated..
I'm still young. It's not that I'm in a hurry, It's just, here I am. Stuck in this little rivet, alone. When everyone else is out there enjoying the company of someone they love. Dating even getting married. Seeing your friend getting married, where realtionship wise you are still playing with barbies( or in my case throwing them in the nearest pond) is really degrading and stabbing at the hopes of..well...the hopes of being loved.
It's me.
....Obviously.
Ok. Ok. Let's go through this little self-pity ranting thing. Humor me.
Me. I'm not gorgeous. I'm just kind of plane. Not hideous, I'll give myself that, but nothing special. (Hideous in comparisson to a run over,decaying toad)
I'm not a nice person. I have very little sympathy for anyone and...apparently that's not a good trait.
All in all, I'm a failure in life and I don't really care. This hasn't gone anywhere and most of what I typed is meaningless.
I'm a complete introvert and I don't like talking to people. I hate using phones and I hate pizza. I love snakes and I love metal. I love music in general. I hate wallowing in self-pity, yet I do it all the time. I don't like most of my family and pasta is amazingly over-rated.
I love softball and the yankees although I never watch baseball. I'm a complete loser,yet i'm comfortable with the way I am...yet I hate who I am.
I can be extremely hypocritical and I'm convinced I have some sort of mental disorder. It could very well be hypocondria...
I...hate seashells and I'm not a romantic person. The more I think about it, I hate the human race,men included. My heart has been broken several times, by people that didn't even know they had done anyhing. I let people walk all over me, yet I say that I don't take shit from anyone.
I'm weak, but I will say otherwise.
I hate people.
I hate...I don't know.
I don't really care.
This has been a awesome example or narcisism.
I hope you enjoyed. |
| 97 hit(s) |
(14 comments) |
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| That certain someone? |
August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
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| 61 hit(s) |
(0 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
Listening to: Anorexia Nervosa
I feel much better now that I tactlessly insulted someone younger than me.
Oh how hypocritical I can be. It's rather lovely.
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| 124 hit(s) |
(19 comments) |
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August 13th, 2008 @ 3:52pm |
Listening to: Deicide-Fuck your god
You want an update,Aye?
Heh.
Alright.
Let's see. I don't have much to say.
Week has been rather dull. Went to a Korn show last weekend or so. It was entertaining. Not my personal taste in music but it was deffinately fun to watch.
Fucking stupid ass retard almost burned me with his damn cigarette like..20 times. I was completely ready to vivisect the bastard. It was wonderful. ..but yea..mucho blast-ness.
That's about all I've got for now. I'll update later when I'm not being distracted by this lovely book I am reading :)
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| 98 hit(s) |
(7 comments) |
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