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In life we don't get what we want, we get in life what we are. If we want more, we have to be able to be more, in order to be more you have to face rejection. --- Farrah Gray
| back 15 >> |
| Smell the Fresh Air, Baby. |
May 15, 2008 |
It's getting better.
It really is.
And it makes me happy.
I can feel the happy coming back again. |
| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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May 7, 2008 |
i thought things would get better without him.
i thought that i would be ok.
i'm not ok.
he was my air.
my carbon monoxide. |
| (3 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| What High School Kid Wakes Up @ 6a.m... I do. |
May 3, 2008 |
... SATs this morning.
Wish me luck? |
| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| I Know You Know. |
April 27, 2008 |
Listening to: Dance Gavin Dance -
Oh Great Mother of Sorrow,
Leave me alone.
I walk in your vines,
I'm hollow, like bone.
Grant me my FREEDOM.
So fervently, i wish to be free,
Kill me, my mother.
Undiluted, into the sea. |
| (2 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| A teardrop fell this morning. |
April 25, 2008 |
I cried. And yearned. And Burned. And yelled. And Tore at myself.
For him.
On to the road of recovery. |
| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| I'm Sorry I wasn't Good Enough For Your Delusions. |
April 24, 2008 |
Listening to: Bring Me the Horizon. -
Feeling: broken
Watch me fall into nothing
Basking in your sunshine
Turbulence has enveloped our emotions
Sweet nothings in my ear
Whispered.
Coaxing life back into my fingertips.
I'm falling into your pain
Into your disregard
So lifeless, you look back at me
You need time.
You need time.
Well, I need hope.
I need strength.
I need reality.
Grasping at the strings of peace and dissolusionment..
I call out your name,
because it's the only thing I remember.
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| (0 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| Go Home, Already. |
April 23, 2008 |
I'm so fucking peeved, right now.
My parents decide to come here for the week and not a day into being here they're already going through my shit.
My car was locked for a reason, and the keys were in my PURSE for a reason.
They think that just because they're my parents-that gives them the right to fuck things up.
I haven't seen them in almost 6 months, and damnit-I wanted to keep it that way. |
| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| Spin, Raindrops, Collide. |
April 6, 2008 |
Feeling: apologetic
A new day.
It spins. It spins. It spins. |
| (0 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| When the World Doesn't Spin Just For You. |
April 2, 2008 |
Feeling: angsty
Guys..
Everything is falling apart. |
| (4 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| No Blue Panda! GREEN PANDA. |
April 1, 2008 |
Listening to: Stone Sour - Through the Glass
Feeling: desolate
HELLO WORLD, MY NAME IS SUN.
and I want to
SHINE.
No one ever told me that this walk of life would be so lonely.
No one told me that it would jurt so much.
No one told me how much work it was just to stay sane.
No one told me that the stars don't shine just for you.
Everything about my life up until now has been so delusional and idealistic.
I believed that if I tried hard enough I could turn the sun green. Or make a lamb say "bacon".
But I do know that I have to make my own happiness.
I have to believe in the unbelieveable or I won't be able to go on.
It's so confusing because the cynical part of my personality understands the reality. Understands that life is simply full of disappointments and that I have to roll with the punches.
Yet the other part of me. My soul half, I like to say...Still believes that clouds are made of cotton candy and that everything will be ok in the arms of someone you love.
How can you believe in two completely different things so fully and not go comepletely insane?
I pray that I find my path, and have the courage to follow it.
I want to be better than this.
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| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| Why So Blue, Panda Bear? |
March 31, 2008 |
Feeling: alone
I want to SNATCH life by the balls and tell it that I'M in charge.
I want to live like there are no consequences.
I want to see the beauty in the miniscule things around me.
I want to love like I won't be hurt.
I want to write a poem that means something.
I want to get good grades in school, and actually CARE about it.
I want to try to live my dreams, instead of wishing I could.
I want to BREATHE.
I want to CRY.
I want to BELIEVE that there is a higher power watching over me.
I want to LIVE.
Not just exist.
I want to know how to acheive my wants and not being just a sterotype.
I want to make my dreams come true.
And not just ASSUME that I deserve them and they should just appear.
I want to show my boyfriend that I really LOVE him. And that I'm not just going to tear out his heart.
I want to show my parents that it's OK to be different.
I want to tell people to RELAX, and then take my own advice.
I want to sleep on a beach in complete bliss.
I want to cuddle up with my love and fall asleep without worrying about what time I have to be home.
I want to do more than this..
And I don't want to try because I know I'll fail... |
| (3 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| Scream To The Decades You'll Never See. |
March 22, 2008 |
Feeling: alienated
It's spinning
and spinning
and coming apart.
it's ripping
and stripping
this young human heart.
I want it.
I need it.
like fire needs air.
I breathe it
Conceive it.
a cancerous stare.
I fight it
and fight it
but my arms,
they go numb.
i need it!
i bleed it!
My heart sees no sun.
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| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| She's a bad influence, Honey. |
March 16, 2008 |
Feeling: abused
I love that i'm always blamed.
if it didn't happen so often, i might actually be upset right now. =P |
| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| GoodGod,YES! |
March 8, 2008 |
Feeling: bemused
I'm dropping Chemistry.
Is it wrong to feel happy about giving up on something? =P |
| (1 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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| FIERCE. |
March 6, 2008 |
Guys,,,
Christian Siriano won.
That's FIERCE! |
| (2 comments) | Kill it, son. |
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