Guuuyyysss, I just got a bunch of new icons! I promise to update soon as possible. I still have to get their tag or whatever... Icons are on their way!!♥

later lovess;;

Lauren M.♥

I had an entry here, but SitDiary ate it.

I'm not retyping it, but I will leave you with this:

Goddamn, I'm sck of being stagnant. It is time for a change.

I am finding my muse.

I am building a crysalis, and will emerge as a butterfly.

[[I am the Queen of Hearts.]]

You inspire me more than you know. Without you, I am nothing.

dearest rach-

there are no words to describe how worried and sick i feel right now. everything that could go wrong is running through my head at the highest velocity possible. i cant help but think that if you're hurt then it's my fault. horrible things wont stop harassing my eyes; your father doing something again, you hurting yourself to the point of no return, someone else harming you. its becoming unbearable. i dont know what i would do if i lost you, my dearest dearest rachael. i love you so much; you have absolutely no idea how much i care for you. i feel like we're connected somehow. like we were meant to met and help each other. these minutes wont go by quick enough so that i can run home and get on msn to hopefully see you on there and be reassured that you, my darling rachael, my sister, my better half, are ok. i would be dead without you. i cannot stand the thought of losing you. i cant bear to even think of that because i fear that i will break down and cry until i cant cry anymore. i cant lose you, too. no, not you. you're too important to me. i've already lost someone important to me, but they aren't nearly as important to you. i'm praying to a false god that i've never believed in that nothing is wrong and that you're just in one of those moods where you say things that you dont mean. oh my god rachael, im dying right now not knowing whats going on with you. i swear that i would do anything to help you! i would sell drugs, i would steal, i would sell myself to drunk men on the streets, i would kill to help you and make sure that you were ok. if you need to get away from there, i will work anyway possible until i have enough money to fly you over here, just to make sure that you are safe and ok. i would die for you rachael. i love you so much. god, i hope that you are ok. . .please tell me that you are ok and that nothing has happened to you. please, just leave me at least one word telling me that you're ok. please, oh god, please let you be ok. . .

i love you more than any words can say

chelsea

Hosted By: LindyWhen: Friday Apr 14, 2006 at 7:00 PMWhere: Lawrence North High School Auditorium7802 Hague RoadIndianapolis, IN 46256USDescription:Lindy Click Here To View Event

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Well here's an update since I haven't been on in months...

Me and Mike wound up breaking up for like 5 days and I was devastated. But with help from his dad, we're back together... and we're doing alot better now. We haven't gotten into any fights or anything. We exchanged promise rings. 12 more days until it's 6 months for us.

But sad to say... I'm not gonna be updating anymore, cus there's no reason for me to write all this down, just to remind myself of my shitty past. I'm happy with Mike, and it's going to last forever.

Bye everyone.

If you want to add me on myspace and LJ.

http://www.myspace.com/xmansonettex

http://www.xmansonettex.livejournal.com

Once this site is fixed Ill be back.

♥

Hm So.

At lunch yesterday, there was this guy. His name is "White Chocolate." I know this because a couple weeks ago, he walked up to Penner and was like, "Hey, I'm White Chocolate," and walked away. And two days ago, he went up to Whitie and was like, "Do you know who I am? I'm White Chocolate." And walked away. [i didn't actually witness these things, but they told me.] Well, I've never talked to him before, and he never to me. But on the way back to geometry after lunch, I felt someone grab my arm while I was walking. I looked up, and I saw White Chocolate. He was just looking forward, not looking at me, and holding onto my arm. [He's so tall, I can tell he couldn't see me looking at him.] And he held onto my arm for like 45 seconds just walking down the hallway. Finally, he let go, patted and rubbed my back for a quick second, and walked away. I was so scared. Seriously, man. Rape is like the biggest fear I have.

Well anyways. 6th period, Senor Whore-hay was seriously being a DOUCHE-BAG. I was like, "Why are you being such an asshole latlely?" And he said, "I've always been an asshole."

"Not to me you haven't, until lately. You used to be really nice to me." And then it went on for a while. It came to the point where I couldn't tell whether or not he was messing around or being serious. When the bell rang, and we left to go to the busloop, Ryan Horn came up to me and was like, "Hey, wanna see a magic trick?" And I was like, "No." And Chris said, "That was so cool! You just gained your coolness points back! You were at like, negative below zero cool, but now you're even above zero." Yeah. Okay. Well. I think he's bipolar or something. Hm.

Kayla St. John spent the night last night along with her two little sisters.My parents were a little.......Ya' know. And my mom wasn't really making a whole lot of sense. Well. I think I might go to Cody's today if he's not at Zach's or Ben's or work... Meeh. My parents, brother, and Sierra are going to see Motley Crue tonight, so I have to be at Kayla's by 6. Yeeah. Stupid weekend.

exxx♥oooh

i love when my mom sings.she has that raspy janis japlin kidda voice.its beautiful. and she can nail alll those notes perfect its great. wellll im still kidda pissed bout the whole cousin thing. i mean its not that big of a deal i mean never mind its stupid wut happened but hell take care of it...wow im so sick of living. "whos the one that makes u happy? or maybe whos the one always on ur mind" sorry my mom is sing and i thought i type along.when ever she sings i feel little again pure..... if only she knew. things happen to change people. and something just happened that gives e a different look on life. y people do the things they do. act the way they act...... i wonder if anyone thinks rather knows nething is wrong. i havet showered in forever im to depressed i dont eat nemore i just throw it up and no not on purpose it just doesnt feel right. i want to run away. i want to never feel this pain i want the world to know that i hate it. i want my *dad* back he was stupid for wut he did but can i blame him? im ultimently just like him....... i might go to some c a meeting tonight with my brother even tho i dont do that but wwut ever. imma go i cant write right know to sick lol

im ready to start over.

i never want to look back on this.

im probably going to make a new diary...

today was actually a good day. i went shopping with a friend and i got some new clothes and stuff, which im really happy with. sweaters...oh god i love sweaters.

but as i was saying, i made a new diary

so this is going to be the last post on here.

grlbrushedred

thats the new one...please add me.

jen

im really bored and i cant go to sleep so i thought i would update my past. its not like i miss it anyways.

if u wanna check out my new sitdiary its ressurrection

Dont ever change how you are

Youre perfect just like you

Youre the kind and gentle soul

Who sees me for me

Youre always there to listen

While I constantly complain

Ramble in my insanity

And face my insecurities

Realize that just me is OK

My problems and my past

They make me just me

And youre ok with that

You dont judge

You dont assume

Youre just there

There when I need to talk

There to make me laugh

There to make me feel good

I just want you to know

Ill always do the same

Ill listen when you need me

I wont judge

I wont assume

Ill just be there

You dont ever need to apologize

“I want to be better”

It means nothing to me

You’re perfect because you care

And because youre you

And you dont care

Thats what I like about you

Youre just you

And Im just me

When Im talking to you

Thats all I need to see

Not that any of you care, but I have a new (well not really new) diary. Ihavenoname.

That's it.

Don't ask why I made it.

I have no idea.

If you care at allllllll you'll add me! :)

so im going to tafe and is going prtty good.i have meet some really cool people there and made sum good friends.

and one of them is josh.hes 24 and really nice and sweet.me and him get on reallt well,and well we are kinda like seeing each other,and he isnt like sum other guys.he like sat down wit me and was like "i just want to tell u were i stand" cause we had sum probs wit this other girl cause she kinda likes him as well but yer he said that he doesnt like her and if i wanted me could still hook up n stuff n like after this thing at tafe we could get together or wateva.anywayz yer

me n troy well josh has been really helpful wit that like he understands where i am cuming from n y i put up wit all the shit he puts me though.i have been trying so hard not to call troy but i had to yesterday just because he sent me a txt n i had missed calls from him.so i think its best if i dont talk to him anymore or just of a while to see wat happens.cause he alwayz cums bak to me but not this time.

im happy wit josh n he makes things so easy to hard and like i dont have to be sumthing that im not when im wit him.

that was a lil update.

well heres something fucked the hell up 4 u my roomies r hitten the road and leavin me with the fuckin rent and now all this fun fucked up shit goes down AND I FUCKIN HIT A CAR... first accident but what ever life is 2 fuckin short 2 cry over it.... KAN TRYTHER

Well this is my second icon diary this is the one for Emo iconz if you arent interested in Emo then go to iconzfromlexi thats my other diary i take requests (only in that diary) and i will still update..those are more girlyish iconz..i like emo better!! my fav. band is MCR you may have noticed:p hehe well i will update when i finish pimpin this diary!

.Alexis.

♥Emo Icons♥

Hey Ya'll what's up. Long Time no post! Sorry things have been a bit on the crazy side. As you know I am not living with my mom but I have moved like 5 times in 2 months. Not much time for the computer. SORRY! Anywho. Ummm... Well I have been seeing a therapist but I think I am going to stop. It doesn't seem to be helping b.c she just sits there for like 30 mins and then asks the same damn things over and over.

EX: Tell me what you like about your boyfriend, or I forget but do you have any siblings or where do you're siblings live? It is sooooo irritating. It is like she doesn't even want to do anything to help me b.c it is the same thing over and over and over and it is getting really old very quickly! Anyways. The anti depressants aren't doing anything either. I have to go see the P~doc tomorrow. I will prolly stop taking them. I dunno yet.

Haven't really been eating lately.(2 weeks approx.) SO now I am down another 7 pounds. Yay! Go me. Go me. Okay I'm done now. Well there you go, I posted. Love Ya'll lots.

Kayla

sit diary pretty much sucks

haha i made another account :-D

ilikecereal

I am sooooo happy!....I get to stay the WHOLE weekend with my baby! We are goin to Inamorato's practice tonight and then tomorrow we are going to their concert in Terre Haute! I am sooo happy! I dont really care about the concert as much as i do stayin with mah boo. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me!I love u baby!

-Danielle-

YAY! MYSPACE WORKS NOW!

my display name is: XoXAmerican-LoveXoX

so come and listen to Inamorato...they are fuckin awsome!(if u like hardcore music of course!)There best song is on my site so visit it!

im done with this website, I make layouts now on xanga. I might put codes on there sometime.

layouts

im on there all the time

YES another batch!!!

i need help can someone show me how to get the icons at the top of my diary?

NiNjAnEsS!

Well Spring Break is almost over and im sad about that :(..... o well..... 2day was crazy though I hung out with a couple of my friends (Lori,Meghan,Sam,and Bobby)... anyways we went walking around for a while and then we went to Bobbies house for a bit. The awesome thing about that (and i know Meg is gonna get killa mad at me for this but IDC thats why im putting it on here lol) Lori,Sam,and I let Meg and Bobby stay in a room by themseleves (hehehehe) and we were trying to listen to see if they were doing something and out of no where Bobby says all loud GO AHEAD AND POKE IT!! Lmao. WTF?!! So we go inside the room with them after waiting a couple of minutes and I looked at Meghan weird and I sed "Go ahead and poke it Meghan" she looked at me all shocked. lmao!It was great....... well today was fun and I hope 2morrow will be to cuz im pose to go to Busch Garden I love that place (fuck Kings domian!!) Well g2g

Im outty ~*$*~ PEACE ~*$*~

Well... Chris broke up with me on Tuesday night.. it sucks because that was the day that made it one month.. and almost exactly because of the hour. It sucks and it hurts kinda bad but I'm sure I can get over it eventually. I just hope that we can be friends.. I know right now we can't because its akward right now.. but I mean hopefully when we go back to school we can be just as close as we were last year. I care about him alot and I guess as long as hes happy I can deal with it. And I decided I'm going to the beach.. I need to get away for a bit. I'm trying to find someone to go with me but I don't know that I will be able to on such short notice.. and Mara is thinking about it but she may go see CJ next weekend instead. But she just needs to let me know by tomarrow so I can try to find someone else lol. I just think it will be good right now to go and get away from here and maybe when I get back things will be more calmed down and cooled off. But I'm off for now. L8r.♥.

So...I might have cancer. Actually they are pretty sure I do.

I am so scared. I don't know what to do...

And I am suppose to be moving back to MA.

I feel like I am losing comtrol of my life.

Not that anyone will read this though. =/

sorry it took so long to write an entry. i live in houston. therefore, i had to evacuate before the hurricane hit. i'm back now. and houston is spared.how did the football game go? it was great. even though hannah cheered for thomas occasionally, she held on to my arm. which was.. wow. hannah doesnt know it, but i am CRAZY for her. and i feel like we've become closer friends. =] i'm happy. at halftime, we saw the bands and the drill teams, and on the 3rd quarter we went to go get food. we shared nachos and a red powerade. whooo. =]=]=] i'm too smiley. but i'm happy. because hannah and me are friends. hopefully, that will change. =]=]

His small fragile lips on hers.... never to be touched together again...

a thousand sharp pains matching the slue of a thousand unwanted fucks... how could you? how could you give up so willingly? how could you have never learned anything from this? and yet still you utter those soft words of love and "im sorry". but your not really are you? and my body shakes with pain from those words you soke so many time before, those selfish, heart-filled words. how dare you. how fucking dare you!

and whats worse how could you be so lost in all this? your always so willing to dive right in so why can't you? how could i be so lost in my own? in my self?

i feel so alone right now. and though i wish i could find my government perscribed little blue pills... you remember the ones dont you? the ones that make me see things, feel things... think things... things that could never exsist in this world? fuck. i wish i had them now more than ever... although i'd have to call someone tright away to make sure nothing bad happend. you know? save me from my self... isn't that right? isn't that always what you thought i should have?

i hate you for a million reasons yet right now all i can think of is one.... for not being able to let me go. And i know tomorow you'll come in here as if nothing happend... you won't even know what i wrote here... and you'll smile and want to have sex with me. you remember don't you? that thing we both know all to well..... i wish i had the nerve to spit in your face and tell you what a fucking bastard you are... but... i ....

..........................  i love you.

and ill always love you... it will never change. and maybe it hurts me to know that on my end it'll never change but you in time will forget me.

and here i sit... my body fucked up from tryign to do so many good things to it.... and fuck is it hard. its so easy just to abuse those petels.... ugh.