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Friends of Tutorgrrl
| ATTENTION CITIZENS!!! | November 18th, 2008 @ 2:31pm |
| by joltbloodedpsycho | |
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Listening to: Eeeeek!!!!
Feeling: glorious
That is all. ~-=Quote Of The Day=-~
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| 658 hit(s) | (30 comments) | sit on my face |
| I need to win | December 24th, 2008 @ 2:32am |
| by parapara | |
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A lot of times I don't feel normal but I know that's how everyone feels and it useless to whine about it. Still, I feel on the outside. I'm really in a battle against myself. An 'I against I' scenario. I need to better myself, take chances and seize the day but I'm afraid and I'm stubborn. I'm afraid on the one hand I won't do the things I need to do until I'm pushed so close to the edge that I'll take that leap out of desperation and rebellion, screaming "fuck you life. Fine I'll just plow through these things with force and hate." And on the other hand I'm afraid that I NEED to get to that edge to WAKE UP and realize how fast my life is passing me by. But what is that edge? And is there another way to get what I want without having to come those extremes and eventually giving up and taking what wants me? That's scary. I make excuses all the time and I fall back too much on destiny and fate. "It'll all happen eventually, just give it some time." It won't happen until I MAKE it happen. Maybe I'm jaded or bitter because of those times where I stuck my foot in the water and the water was too cold or the sharks were too visible and now I'm sitting on the deck chair looking at everyone having so much fun in the pool on a hot summer day in the middle of July while I sit in my snow globe in the dead of winter. I need to smash the glass, cut my feet and dive in. I need to win. |
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| 126 hit(s) | (2 comments) | go at it |
| Just felt like posting | May 24th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
| by crazycutter | |
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Feeling: frustrated
EX: Tell me what you like about your boyfriend, or I forget but do you have any siblings or where do you're siblings live? It is sooooo irritating. It is like she doesn't even want to do anything to help me b.c it is the same thing over and over and over and it is getting really old very quickly! Anyways. The anti depressants aren't doing anything either. I have to go see the P~doc tomorrow. I will prolly stop taking them. I dunno yet. Haven't really been eating lately.(2 weeks approx.) SO now I am down another 7 pounds. Yay! Go me. Go me. Okay I'm done now. Well there you go, I posted. Love Ya'll lots. Kayla |
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| 377 hit(s) | (1 comments) | Crush My Dreams |
| I Am the Devil! | May 25th, 2007 @ 12:00am |
| by charliechaz | |
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Feeling: angry
Go, regurgitate what the world has given you elsewhere. Go put your words in the mouths of strangers elsewhere. Family? You? Me? What? Get Out. I don't want you here right now, you shame me. Go on. Call me demon. Call me Herman? You're insane. I AM THE DEVIL! You have serious issues! Take Herman with you, ma'. |
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| 614 hit(s) | (7 comments) | leave comment |
| yep | October 2nd, 2008 @ 10:07am |
| by academyromance | |
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SHORT TERM GAIN. LONG TERM LOSS. |
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| 240 hit(s) | (1 comments) | opinions? |
| Two ways and we're only given one. | January 4th, 2009 @ 4:39pm |
| by someguy | |
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If life were a two way street then I’m on the side that’s already been chosen for me. I wonder if I were to sit still, would I still find myself in the depths of my responsibility or would sitting still indeed be my escape. No, it’ll always be there, it’ll always be waiting for me. More than a year has passed since the passing of my mother and astonishingly, 3 years have already passed since the passing of my dad. The memories of them though will never leave me be. Despite anyone who knows saying that I did a great job for my parents, in my mind I failed them, not for what they endured, but for not fully being there with them in what they endured – “honour your parents is what we’re told”. I won’t allow myself to see the good I did, only the bad – humility overweighs being proud – but not even ‘humility’ would describe what I feel. There’s a certain memory of my mother that I think back to. She was in the later stages of her illness at the time and in this memory I was in the shower, standing with my right arm held up against the wall in front of me – a wall to keep up-right the worries of the World, I’m surprised the wall didn’t break – but I did; I fell quickly to my knees, crippled as the shower poured over me and no, the wall did not break, but my heart had. I cried hard with flashbacks of what I exist to see and give hope to. I had cried hard enough for my mom to hear me from three rooms away from the shower where she was sitting, contemplating most likely of what her life had come to, trying her best to make sense of ‘why’ this had happened to her – a lesson for me would be my answer – my mom’s whole life was to prepare me for who I am; The lives of our parents often sets out for us the life that we will lead. My mother had later said to me with her expression innocent, loving and beautiful – though above all helpless – that she had heard me cry. She wanted to know why, but wasn’t persistent and I never did tell her why I had cried. I don’t know who I can compare myself to or how to find the words so I can continue to write about what I’ve been feeling as honestly, I wouldn’t know how many people feel the way I do, or rather, feel responsible in the way that I do. Of late I’ve been called more to live up to my responsibility. My heart narrows in what it wants and follows that chosen side of the street again. I find it hard to trust in what I want and further more, I find it hard to trust others who want to be close to me; “I am not like you” I would say to them, unassuming in what they want with me, not remembering why they do in the first place. The call to live up to my responsibility I believe only to be a wake up call. Life is perhaps a little more just, that it will allow me to still have what I want and so I continue to find that trust again and my quickly narrowed heart can breathe for itself once more. Though I wonder why I still feel like I’m recovering. Is there a chance I won’t? If only I could end this on a better note. |
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| 131 hit(s) | (3 comments) | Open your heart |
| Stupid Back | December 27th, 2008 @ 10:23pm |
| by rayoflight | |
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Listening to: You're Still You-Josh Groban
Feeling: inpain
School starts up on the 12th and I move back into my dorm room on the 11th. I have a Calculus class bright and early on that Monday morning and I want to be ready for it. I will be switching sections because I didn't get the professor I asked for and I want to be able to understand my teacher. I hate taking a class I'm not very good in and I can't understand a word the person is saying due to some foreign accent. Nothing against the idea of living here but come on people. I don't dish out over 18 thousand dollars a year to Purdue to sit in a class and listen to someone I can't even understand explaining Calculus to me. Getting close to midnight. I better sign off soon if I want to get some sleep. Tomorrow I get to go see Purdue Men's Basketball take on Valpo and I can't wait to see us wipe the floor with them. Boiler Up! |
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| 56 hit(s) | (0 comments) | Love Me If You Can |
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