"You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold."

"And all I do is miss you , and the way we used to be. And all I do is keep the beat and bad company"

yeah thats right

i've added livejournal to my fledgling empire of websites about me... and i'll prob use it now instead of this one...

woo!

http://thattallguy10.livejournal.com/

got back with courts on saturday... talked about it, decided not going out wasnt working until we give it a go to get it out of the system... or maybe its going to work out.

thats ok. im happy about that.

did the acid tab on monday. what a day. my friend cam sat with me and played guitar for me all day as we rolled around. i had waves of chaos and then i would snap back to reality for five seconds and then back into disorganised nothing.

a body high lasted two hours then it got into loss of perspective and coherency. i couldnt remember much and laughed at just about everything and anything. i've never cried so much. i went into hysterics when cam went into hysterics and so on. good laughs!!! great laughs.

i really appreciated music and i got a few hallucinations but not big ones just a few things around his guitar like the music exploding out and enveloping him. it was a blissfull feeling. just lying on the grass in the sun buzzing. i cant really explain it... i was playing with some gravel for ages, well it was probably only two or three minutes. it felt like ages. and the gravel felt like water and was so pleasing to touch. most things were.

i leant againts a wall and felt like a dropped into it a bit but i didnt give into the feeling and did something else. i did something else most times i felt like i was about to go into something heavy and this generally worked to get out of those feelings.

there was silence, and at times the only thing that would bring me out of it was cams guiatar playing. and then i was back in real time for a bit until i lost time again.

i felt at times like walking would be impossible but i was always surprised once i stood up. i had no ambition. i just wanted to float around and not do anything. lying down never felt sooo good.

i ate too many strawberries and had stomach cramps towards the end but they passed after and hour or so and i was goood again.

talking to people who were "normal" was very hard work. a lot of will power was spent just understanding the words. i had trouble telling which words were which and often had to ask them to repeat themselves. this is ok for awhile but eventually they would become weirded out and leave.

was quite hard to relate to them!

cam was very easy to relate to. i could just talk normally to him and he understood me, and i him.

a very good day. i will trip again sometime this year i think! maybe in june after exams!

sooo much work to do. not enough motivation!

11:31 Late Monday Morning (15 March 2010)

     She isn't his Girlfriend

I lost my wedding band somehow when Caleb and I were in NZ.  It was weird because it was on my finger between my hand and my engagement ring.  I don't remember taking off either of my rings, nor do I remember it breaking and falling off.  All I know is that on our last day in the north island it was there and the day we got back to Christchurch it wasn't there anymore.   It wasn't the highest quality, for sure, but none of the high quality rings were the right size or thickness or colour.  I miss it because it's the kind of thing I could wear when getting my hands dirty; there were no cracks and crevices for dirt to find its way in.  I have to take my engagement ring off whenever I put on lotion or work in soil, unless i want the ring to get gross...which generally i don't.

Anyway it was with this thought in mind that I started suggesting to Caleb yesterday that we replace it with a similarly inexpensive ring but as I was looking at my hand where the wedding band would go, I realised my engagmenet ring was missing, too.

it was a scary moment because I thought it might have come off in my gloves while skiing and then fallen out somewhere along the ride from the top of the mountain back to the house.  Caleb was...relaxed about it saying that he could always just buy another one like it, it wasn't custom or anything and it was pretty reasonably priced....but then I remembered that I took it off on girl's night at Kikolita's on Friday when we were rubbing paraffin treatments on our hands and sugar scrubs and what-have-you.  Things that I don't usually do just because I don't like rubbing that sort of mess on my hands. anyway.  Then I looked in the bags and things I had taken to Kiko's on Friday.  Just before I began the quest to empty my painstakingly rolled sleeping bag I called Kiko to see if she had seen it. She didn't answer so I texted her hoping she would look when she got the text.  A few minutes later she called back to tell me she didn't see it when she was cleaning up the coffee table but that she would look for it in the living room, and to call her if I found it at my house.  I suggested looking between the couch cushions because that's often where things go in my house when they go missing.  Then she hung up and I was untying the strings to loosen the sleeping bag when she called me back and said "I found it! by the couch!"

super convenient.

sometimes you need a little drama in your own life to get the adrenaline pumping and to make sure your life isn't dead. haha. a -little- drama is the key though.

Been flirting with flood waters for too long.

It's about time I move to higher ground.