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Friends of Thesleeper

 
LiVinG DeAD
Feeling: abused
January 7, 2009

I don't fucking care about your happiness and your waste of space that you intrude upon in my pointless meaningless life. flip your nuts off kin d of off the wall shit right now. The fuses in my head just shattered I think I might have to replace. it . them.. me..

...I'm momentarily on auto-play.
23 hit(s) (0 comments) | >_<  
cracks in the floor


my grandmother died today just after midnight.
today is/was her 90th birthday.
we were rather close; as such, i am not taking this particularly well.


i realise that things haven't been well for her in awhile; she's had congestive heart failure issues for three years now, and she has become increasingly weak during the past five days.
i am glad she is not miserable anymore, and likewise happy that she can finally be with my grandfather again,...but
...ugh.
damn it.
DAMN IT.
FREAKING DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i was going to ring her this morning and wish her a happy birthday, and mum & i arranged for flowers to be sent for her today.

mum & dad & i were going to visit on sunday and have a small party to celebrate her birthday.

i didn't know her phone number was the same at her assisted living flat until late last night; i could have talked to her sooner!!!! why didn't i ask about that when she moved in there???
and i didn't want to pass my cold onto her because she was so weak already, and i knew it could've been disastrous, so i was waiting until i felt better before visiting.

why do i have to be bloody sick so damn often???!?!??!
why didn't i check the number and ring her earlier???????????




...[sigh.]

i am going to avoid the internet and general human interaction for awhile.

this is the saddest day, and the ones to come are only going to get worse.


i miss her more than is possible to articulate.
)'=


______
thursday, 23 october 2008
10h42 CDT

667 hit(s) (4 comments) | fan mail  
923
Listening to: choreography piece
Feeling: worried
8:29 Early Wednesday Night (7 January 2009)
  Cooperating Courses

Environmental Toxicology
Water Quality and Pollution
Senior Capstone (Soil/Water Case Study)
Analytical Writing (Engl 2010)
Environmental Soil Chemistry
Soil Analytical Techniques

...
For the first time in my university career, all my courses are working together in some synergistic combination of awesome.
I love applying science to my interests.
I love dirt!

Nail biting report: haven't bit since 27 Dec! That gross bitter nail polish is working excellently.
72 hit(s) (3 comments) | Am I Real?  
 
euphony
dra
 
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