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Friends of Suicidalstella
| cypress is a trip :) | August 13th, 2008 @ 3:50pm |
| by dazednconfuzed | |
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i just got out of the shower. and i think im going to go to bed in a while. i went out today. i went to rehab and Bart (the physical therapist) helped me work on my back. stefany and ami went with me. that went pretty quick since it was only the second time ive been there. and he said we wanted to start slow. and then we went to walmart and walked around for a while. i saw virginia and we talked for a while. and then we went to bashas and bought some ice cream..and then we went to stefanys moms house. we hung out there for a couple hours until her mom got annoyed with us, then we came to my house for a whole 5 minutes to get a sweat shirt..and then we went back out. we parked at cypress gardens(oh the memories..lol ;)) and we walked to super stop and bought some water. maylene was at work so we hung out there for a while, and then on the way back i saw chicago..and he was all tripping out.lol. but we really didnt talk much. and then we saw Joel...hes always a trip. he makes me laugh. he was going to the library, so we walked all across campus and back to the car, and i took stef home cus she had to call ray. and then i came home. and now here i am... i think tomarrow im going to go make an appointment to get my hair cut again. i just want it trimmed and i want to get my bangs cut.im excited. my dad just asked about how school was going.jees. i didnt know what to tell him but the truth, and boy was he pissed. yikes. well this is it for now. have a nice night everyone |
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| 269 hit(s) | (5 comments) | ::.haunt me.:: |
| i came out the closet and got taken to hospital | August 6th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
| by lastresort | |
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Feeling: confused
i forgot to say here that i came out to my parents about a month ago. My mum too it well, but my dad......not really anyways, heres my story of yesterday (sat) soooooooooooooooooooooooooo woke up this morning and felt fine, 10 mins later, not so fine so i'm standing in the loo and think i'm gunna be sick (rare for me) so i grab the closest thing i can...which happens to be a big shiny glass bowl. and you know when you get a headrush and you see like lil black dots? it was that. Everywhere, so i couldn't see shizzle all. so, next thing i know i hear the glass bowl smash without knowing i'd let go of it, say "oh crap" and then...wake up. wedged between the wall and the toilet. yuuuuummy. and (impressive part here) i broke the toilet seat clean in two, now thats a solid head! so i was surrounded by glass which i'd landed in but even when i put all my weight on my hands to get up, i couldnt feel it. so i finally got up and had lovely blood everywhere...sexaay so off i go, whisked to the hospital, got tested for diabetes the nurse seemed a little disappointed when it tested negative. got a doctor who did NOT seem convinced when i said i hadn't been drinking lol. and when they got all the blood out of my hair aparrently it turned bright pink, i wish it had stayed like that! so they glued me back up, coz the cut wasn't really worth having just 2 stitches. sooo i'm home, feeling nice and dappy but sharp, i've got a lovely cut on my head and leg, and i've reaaaaally hurt my coxic (last vertebra thingy...see i know my stuff) so when i stand up or sit down it's followed by an "ow" and what was the first thing i said when i got up off the floor.... "oh fuck" fucking typical!!!!! and whats gross? i'm not allowed to wash my hair for 5 days... |
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| 117 hit(s) | (2 comments) | make me bleed |
| she knows all about these heartbreaking things. | November 6th, 2008 @ 1:42am |
| by bloodmortica | |
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Listening to: lucero
Feeling: depressed
i loved him so much. it's so strange loving someone for so long, feeling so safe and secure, spending all of your time and energy on them, thinking they'll be there for you forever, and then just two months later they're blocking you on facebook and sending you e-mails saying that they never want to even hear your name again. i never want to be in another relationship again. i'm sorry if this all sounds incredibly dramatic and prepubescent, but i don't know if i can handle another one of these. it's not fair to anyone, and especially not to me. i have so many baggage from all the stupid relationships and disappointing boys i've been with that i don't think i'll be able to trust anyone for a long time. |
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| 25 hit(s) | (1 comments) | drain the blood |
| Years passed.. | September 20th, 2008 @ 9:19pm |
| by doctorbeef281 | |
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Listening to: Katy Perry- Im Still Breathing
Feeling: scared
********************************************* high school senior, working 2 jobs. everyday of my life i dig deeper and deeper and the one i thought would be my best friend forever has abandoned me. Ok, fine, blame it on me. blame it on my mistakes. but when i came to you and appologized and opened my heart back up to you, who slamed the door? you.. ********************************************* ever been cheated on by someone you lost your family and friends for? ever been played by someone you spent 2 years loving like there was no tomorrow? I have. Try to get over him without your support.. ********************************************* Well, im still breathing. im gonna have to live with what im givin, and what im not. Im sorry chelsea. Im sorry jessie. Im sorry dad.. Most of all.. Im sorry to myself. for making mistakes that you just might have to live with for the rest of your life. One careless move is all it takes.. just one and you could be tainted forever.. |
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| 38 hit(s) | (0 comments) | .losing hope. |
| reply | August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
| by emptyandhappy | |
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| 72 hit(s) | (0 comments) | far from the tree |
| Myspace and LJ | August 18th, 2006 @ 12:00am |
| by katiemanson | |
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http://www.myspace.com/xmansonettex http://www.xmansonettex.livejournal.com Once this site is fixed Ill be back. ♥ |
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| 732 hit(s) | (1 comments) | Free Nothing Here! |
| fat piece of shit | November 28th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
| by secretlycrying | |
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Listening to: michael buble-home
Feeling: fat
A million people I Still feel all alone I just wanna go home Oh I miss you, Let me go home I’m just too far from where you are I wanna come home And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life It’s like I just stepped outside When everything was going right And I know just why you could not Come along with me But this was not your dream But you always believed in me ---------------------------------------------- i need to go further in i need fuel, i need loathing 24/7 not that i don't already but i need MORE. this isn't enough it isn't working!!!!!! F-A-T! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I-NEED-TO-LOSE-WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! so bloated. sick. im going to the doctors for chest pains. he'll just laugh. fat cow. i want to rot away. this is all i have. starvation. |
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| 92 hit(s) | (2 comments) | break me once more |
| _1_Gone - This Is Not Jasmine's Handwriting | August 13th, 2008 @ 3:50pm |
| by angelwalk | |
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The one with the delicately tattered wings. They're healing gracefully. She's pruning her new feathers and mourning for her lost ones, but are they really lost? And the fact that she still has the strength to grow new ones, let alone prune them, shows you just how beautiful this beautiful girl really is. The one with the delicately tattered wings. She's gone away. But she'll come back. And one day her wings will be as magnificent as she is, and she will learn to fly. AND THEN WE WILL SOAR TOGETHER. Would you like to join us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JASMINE Jasmine Jasmine Jasmine Jasmine Jasmine it's not the same without you, dear. Come back! :) |
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| 133 hit(s) | (3 comments) | What r u thinking? |
| siempre me dejas | December 1st, 2007 @ 12:00am |
| by emotionsfade | |
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Listening to: siempre me dejas
Feeling: defeated
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| 195 hit(s) | (1 comments) | speak ur heart out |
| Long Time No Post | October 31st, 2005 @ 12:00am |
| by brokenprincess | |
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Listening to: The Truth About Heaven
Feeling: detached
Latley I have been thinking alot about suicide again, I wish I had the balls just to do it, get it over with. I don't think I've ever wanted to die so much in my life. I've wanted this since I was little, I just wish I had of died in one of the car accidents, I shouldn't have been wearing my seatbelt. I feel so guilty being alive, so many more people deserve to be alive more than me, so why am I still here, what cruel punishment is this? Things with Luke are neutral, I'm so stupid. I know he cheated on me with her, she's so ugly too but she knows too much and she describes him to the T. He denys it, obviously, I don't know what to do, he lies to me about everything. It's almost 3 and he said he'd be here at 1.30 at the latest, where is he? Do I even want to know? I don't know why I spend so much energy on this, it won't matter soon enough. This time this plan will work and no one can stop me, no one will even know until it's too late. It's perfect. My dad called me to see if I was still alive since I told him I was going to do it, my mom called me too, wow, I don't know why they pretend to care, deep down I bet they are hoping I'll do it, wishing and praying. Well soon enough it will come true. I'm done with this, I'm not doing it, I'm not.. I can't. I wrote the letter today, that's all squared away, just comes down to actually getting the stuff and voila, I'm no longer in this hell hole. I hope God will forgive me if he even exists, I know it's a sin, but if he exists then he will know deep down in my heart how unhappy I am and have been since I can remember. I think that's why I have done some of the things I have done, I hate myself so much that I do things to make myself feel like other people care. I know they are just using me, but for that time, I feel wanted and accepted. I'm stupid I know and I regret all of it. It won't matter soon enough though, everything comes out in the wash, luckily I'll be doing it any day now. |
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| 13 hit(s) | (0 comments) | take.it.away. |
| *119* Contact Info | August 12th, 2005 @ 12:00am |
| by razrbladedeath | |
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Listening to: Madonna
Feeling: annoyed
Thank you! my livejournal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/feariemagic7/ my myspace: http://myspace.com/kimmi_7 my vampirefreaks account: http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=punkvampire69 aim: bloodravn7 email: liltwistedfreak77@yahoo.com Add me!! I love friends! |
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| 471 hit(s) | (5 comments) | your thoughts here |
| [57] | August 13th, 2008 @ 3:51pm |
| by opheliaimmortl | |
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Feeling: amused
If the sea shakes like an empty maraca I know [x4] and she falls in love with the sounds of ships sinking? I know [x4] Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If the heavens part and nobody, nowhere, nothing, every apartment is vacant, every home for rent? Hey Peacock? What's that? I just want to know what your feathers are made out of. Is it bruises or roses or cradles or coffins? (It's all those!) Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If your friends are all cripple, all wither, all wilt, I know [x4] and you smile at their pain on your angel bone stilts. I know [x4] Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If the brick you throw puts a bullet in your skull and a police boot lands atop your gaping jaw? Hey Peacock? What's that? I just wanna know what the babies mouth is full of. Is it flies or cries or straw? Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? Which peacock's police? Which peacock is thief? If machine guns come knock, knock, knocking Who's cashing out your bad luck? If wedding bells sound like death knells baby is a wealthy groom worth all this gloom? If tuxedos slither off corpses and copulate wild on wedding cake and the priest starts snapping photos? There's a peacock on your shoulder pole dancing around your neck while reciting the Book of Revelation. So who do you love? Who do you trust when your friends take a match to your front lawn? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. So who do you love? Who do you trust? Who do you kill when your senator drags out your first born? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. If the forests turn to static and the gnarled branches, too? I know [x4] Your body starts to fall into a concrete tutu? I know [x4] which peacock is beast? which peacock is priest? If you strike for better wages at the cola factory and they drink champagne as they kick in your teeth? Hey Peacock? What's that? I just wanna know what his blood tasted like. Was it like sugar or vinegar or whiskey or dirt? (It's all those!) Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If machine guns come knock, knock, knocking Who's cashing out your bad luck? If wedding bells sound like death knells baby is a wealthy groom worth all this gloom? If tuxedos slither off corpses and copulate wild on wedding cake and the priest starts snapping photos? There's a peacock on your shoulder pole dancing around your neck while reciting the Book of Revelation. Things are never what they seem, the peacocks static melodies. So who do you love? Who do you trust when your friends take a match to your front lawn? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. So who do you love? Who do you trust? Who do you kill when your senator drags out your first born? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. |
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| 162 hit(s) | (0 comments) | rendrmebrethles |
| NEW SITDAIRY!!!! | October 29th, 2008 @ 5:57pm |
| by nightshade | |
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sorian thats it just sorian ok ^_^ |
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| 389 hit(s) | (0 comments) | this life |
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