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Friends of Shmucketyduck

 
Guuuyyysss, I just got a bunch of new icons! I promise to update soon as possible. I still have to get their tag or whatever... Icons are on their way!!♥




later lovess;;
Lauren M.
774 hit(s) (18 comments) | u no u luv me!.  
could it be?
Feeling: happy
so i promised myself i'd never write in this thing again, but here i am.

i just turned 18 last saturday. i'm finally legal. i'm still with my boyfriend. we've been together for 3 years and 4 months. we're still very much in love and very happy with each other. life is good. we were jack and sally for halloween, soo cute!



it hurts me to be on here knowing that my last entry was about Attila's death. it sucks and it still feels like only yesterday i found out. i miss her.

how are all my old friends? anything crazy happen?
115 hit(s) (3 comments) | C'Mon and Touch Me  
volleyball
i will talk about volleyball first.
the year 11s have put a team in the rainbow comp this year. the 'hot shots'. we have abbey, nadia, joe, pondy, spew, benny and me in the team. and as much as nadia doesn't like to think it, we have a damn strong team.
we were on a winning streak, starting the year off with 2-0, but last night we got taken down.
i wouldn't of minded anyother time, cuz i only play for a good time and i love the sport. buuut we got beaten by the 'originals' the most hated team in the comp. they are fuckers with a capital F.
we came close in the last 2 sets. we were 3 points off and then 5 points off in the last set. bit of a bugger that we couldn't win at least one set.
joe was off. i don't know what was up but it didn't seem like the big man really wanted to be there. usually he has a pair of the safest hands on the team, but last night he just didn't get into it. pitty.
there is this one guy on the 'originals' and they call him sparrow. he once played state volleyball or sumthing, but that was many many moons ago. he thinks he is a big man cuz he can spike it down hard on ppl (girls mainly). last night i was at the net and he jumped up to spike it so i blocked his shot and i fucked him up good. the ball came back with all his force and hit him square in the face. i call the shot 'fuck you bitch'. hope he hurt for a bit after it. mother fucker.
we do have a strong team and i have a feeling that we might do a bit of alright for the rest of the year.
the other day at school we set the alarm on the 'smart board'. it kinda sounds like the school's fire alarm...and we turned the volume up really really loud...and then left class. mr cook was packing up his books after the bell and the alarm starting going off. ha! he didn't know wat to do. he ran out the room and stood in the quadangle and was yelling at everybody to go out on the oval (where u are meant to go when there is a fire). all the kids new it wasn't, so they kept walking...haha! mr cook was like "ok guys lets go to the oval...quick...HEY! don't go to class! can't u hear the alarm??...don't ignor me!....come on, quick!!!" hahaha. fuck it was a pisser. when he found out what we had done he got a little bit upstairs and made us write lines lol.
was talking to mrs petschel the other day. just having a general chat about things. we got on to the topic of suicide. (i was telling her about when rebecca rang up the other night and was saying she was going to kill her self...i asked what i should do if she did it again) anyways...so we were talking about suicide and then she told a story about her when she was younger. i thought i should write it down, cuz it just blew my mind....
she had a best mate in high school. they both planned to be teachers after they finished and do everything together. then mrs p decided that she wanted in on law. so she went her own way. she came to see her mate one weekend and found her hanging in the garage. she said looking back on it now it must have been funny if sumone was watching her react to it. i could kinda see the funny side...in a sick kinda way. anyways...so mrs p said after she gave up trying to help her mate she read the suicide note. and it kinda blamed her for not being a teacher with her mate. now that would fuck up the most strongest of ppl. anyways...last year mrs p gets a letter in the mail. it's from her old mates mum. it said that the husband had just passed away and that the suicide wasn't her fault at all. the father had been touching the daughter for ages and she just wanted out...and the parents thought it would be best if no one knew...so they made up a pretend suicide note. how fucked is that?? i think it was the first time i swore...like said 'fuck' in front of mrs p. i was shocked to say the least. who does that??
on a much lighter note i wanna talk about flozz. :)
i was at work tonight annnnd my boss was looking after a little 10year old girl for the night. so in the end...for about 45mins or so i entertained her. i took the wrath of her making fun of me...i got told that i'm a loser and i look like i have head butted a tree....yeah...lowest point of my life, getting picked on by a 10 year old. lol. but i did notice one thing...she was cool and really cute. and in a way she reminded me heaps of the was me and flozz are together.
i don't mean that i'm in to flozz cuz she is like a little kid and i dig little kids...i'm just saying that flozz is really really cute and the games me and her play with each other are alot like ones u do with kids. and i think it is the bee's knees!
flozz is swimming round in my head all the time now days. she was meant to cum up this weekend, but her old man didn't let her. i'm not real sure where i stand with her old man. don't know if he is too happy with one of his little girls dating. lol. all i'm saying is..too bad. it's not going to stop me.
there is one thing that blows my mind with flozz. it makes me see that there were a few things with rebecca that i never really liked that much. the best eg i can cum up with is this- i will tell flozz (mucking around) that i don't like her anymore...and she will answer with 'i don't care...i still want you, and thats that.' with rebecca i would say that and she would say 'fine...' and wait for me to say sorry or what eva. the way flozz does that shows me that she really wants me.
i am a big believer that little things make a shitload of the big things. u always have to start off small before u can get big. me and flozz have a crap load of little things...like 'in' things. only me and her understand them. and i like it that way.
she really makes me happy...like not just happy...but really glad and gives me that extra spark that i thought i had lost. she is special to me...words can't express how much.
i best be off...i'm gunna start to try to write more in this again.
376 hit(s) (3 comments) | drop me a line-  
18
Listening to: Maximo Park
why is that everytime i find a girl that i like a lot, there's something there to fuck it up.

that shy, cute, funny, artsy, creative, intelligent girl that comes only so often. Gone again. They're a rare type, but they're always taken. I'm sick of nothign working out with girls. I feel like shit now cause i was going to ask her out tomorrow, but i found out she has a boyfriend. once again, it drops from my hands.


What happens when you lose everything?
Well, you just start again.
You start all over again


oh...i;m now 18
161 hit(s) (5 comments) | Make Me Civilized  
man i haven't updated on sitdiary in foreverrrr! and i'm not going to now either. i have had a melodramatic account for like 4 years and have gone back to that. i luv my melo so much more. if anyone has a melo u can go friend me on that. my user name is budice. ha ha i made the account back in highschool when i was obsessed with bud ice tall cans. anyways, go find me!
302 hit(s) (4 comments) | leave comment  
ZOOOOMBIES
Math can suck my penis. I hate math.
I had a math test today and it sucked!!!!!!!!!!!111
ALso, fuck the wind! It's so pointless!!!! The only thing it does is ruin a perfect day!!!!

If I were to design a torture chamber, I would suspend a platform above SHARK-filled water in a WIND tunnel. Then I would hang up a few BEE's nests... that way it would be a triple threat. THAT WOULD BE SO FRIGHTENING Aaaaaahahhhhha.

Milli Vinilli sucked, by the way.
176 hit(s) (6 comments) | link to porn  
[*258*] Goodbye
Listening to: Stick Wit U - Pussycat Dolls
Feeling: lovely
Well here's an update since I haven't been on in months...

Me and Mike wound up breaking up for like 5 days and I was devastated. But with help from his dad, we're back together... and we're doing alot better now. We haven't gotten into any fights or anything. We exchanged promise rings. 12 more days until it's 6 months for us.

But sad to say... I'm not gonna be updating anymore, cus there's no reason for me to write all this down, just to remind myself of my shitty past. I'm happy with Mike, and it's going to last forever.

Bye everyone.

94 hit(s) (0 comments) | ~p.s. i love yOu~  
♥ I love you danny.
43 hit(s) (1 comments) | In Fifty Years...  
One way
Feeling: ambitious
10.46am

It's funny how small things can make you happier than big things that are meant to be joyous. Well, perhaps.

Like a conversation that settles you down a little. Or someone not caring that you're being all PMS-y. Yeah, yeah, so I do get over emotional, I wish I didn't, wish it wasn't such a cliche. But at least I've started to recognise it now. Before I just assumed all the ups and downs I was feeling were just me and my crazy head.

What annoys me is when guys assume just because it's PMS it's not legitimate feelings. Perhaps they're accentuated slightly, but personally my little sobbing fits and then ultimate happiness come from things I have been feeling anyway. It's just that the things that before made me a little annoyed or upset now make me hysterical. It's not as if suddenly because of hormones your entire position on life changes.

I wonder if dreams reflect anxieties a lot. I suppose they do.
I wish I could show my friends know how much I love them.
581 hit(s) (2 comments) | snap.  
Almost Halloween!!
Feeling: asleep
Well Well Well. I can't believe I am even writing on here. I have noticed that there are hardly ever any active users..that's probably because everyone is now addicted to myspace. Oh boy do I remember when sitdiaries ws my best friend:) Anyways, enough with the nonsense..although it probably doesn't really matter how nonsensical I write because no one is gonna read this anyways. But k. so I decided that I think I used to have a better personality..as far as being sarcastic..that's better in my mind...before I changed to who or whatever I am now. I like my old entries. I feel like I had more spunk then..but I could also say just the opposite and feel like I have more spunk now. So I don't know..and don't really care. Halloween is almost here. Andrea and I are having a party. It's gonna be Mega fun!

I want to be loved..that's my wish for today and the next few months to come..♥
65 hit(s) (1 comments) | leave comment  
straightedge

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246 hit(s) (2 comments) | STFU  
A Calm
Listening to: Not sure what it is but it is peaceful
Feeling: calm
I feel a strage calm. I think its becasue I am slowly accepting the way things are going. I have a goal and I know I can reach it. I know that everything is just a matter of time. I still have a lot that confuses me and a lot that scares the shit out of me but its all good.
174 hit(s) (3 comments) | Empty Vioce  
No one
Listening to: Over my head Cable car - The fray
Yeah no one ever comments me on here anymore..

Im on myspace now so yeah
my link is www.myspace.com/lsutiger1050
124 hit(s) (1 comments) | Just Surf.  
she wants to move
Listening to: n.e.r.d.
he has to get a blood test done, a doctor told him today that his liver was swollen. we saw a girl he did cocaine with at the clinic. she was with her mother and ignored me. smiled big at him.
i get my results next tuesday. nervous and angry.
since he quit drinking, he wants to start smoking weed again. i'm down, but worried about the heart palpitations that he used to get. i used to love stoned sex.
the no-sex thing didn't last, he jumped me yesterday. it was romantic.
i forgot what else to say.
sober since november 12 2008.
or june (or was it july?) 23, 24, 26th? 2006.
feel better.
15 hit(s) (1 comments) | dotted with hearts  
. o .
Listening to: ashlee simpson♥
Feeling: amazing


wow. i never really realized how much i love this kidd .
417 hit(s) (8 comments) | iLOVElandon  
[249].*.I Believe in yesterday.
Listening to: Lennon.
Feeling: sane
I hate how everything that I used to know is changing.
I hate how people who I used to be such good friends with, I really don't even know them anymore.
It's just happening so fast, it's too overwhelming when I finally realize it.
This year just went by so quickly.
It scares me.
I hate how I want something so bad, yet I could never have it.
477 hit(s) (0 comments) | COMMENT XO  
Just drained
So once again i have decided to fill u in on my life to anyone out there who reads this. I feel physically and emotionally drained right now, for reasons only few know about . Well christmas is only in 4 day snad i am not really prepared for it. To me it just dosnt seem like a joyous time of the year. I feel its just another over-advertised holiday that corperate america can make money off of, butr i love it none thre less. So i'm off to do something else.
140 hit(s) (6 comments) | WhatsYourExcuse?  
193. summer oh seven
Listening to: four letter lie - *feel like fame*
Feeling: broke
so my first year of highschool is now over (: so what did i do this summer? well...


work work work six days a week. and when i can i hang out with my friends. also i was in a pagent yippie i won miss personality. i also made plenty of new friends. but only some count :P oh oh oh i also went to WARPED TOUR and hershy park(: yeah it was funn.

kay on seven seven oh seven i started going out with josh, you no that kid im always talkign about it. about. and i dont no if it is even a good thing right now cause were fighting :/ but we are going to see each other on saturday so we will see how things go.

anyway thats it for now. all i have plans is going to the fair some more and soem parties (:



kayyyy well i do love josh.(:

what am i do right this second. well its fuckin almost 4 in teh morning and im still up and wide awake hangign out with jenna. fun fun.

I'll show you how to make a heart-beat.
269 hit(s) (0 comments) | BiggestMistake x3  
Still feeling great.
Feeling: great
Ha.. Original. Great. Thats how im feeling.

Im still smiling. Im so happy im with Cale. Hes the love of my life. I love everything about him. I never want it to end. Yet im only 15. IM so happy when we are together.

Lifes great.

The chick that wanted to smash me has liek fully backed off. Im becoming great mates with my old mate. Still have my old mates but those times are changing.

I still Love them.. Nothing going to change that.

But I love Cale. Its so great. Its been pretty much 2 and a half months. Yeah. Hehe

K sorry guys.. Hope youz are all well..

Love yaz. Xoxox

Ashleigh
254 hit(s) (2 comments) | | Hit Me |  
Phhhhhhhhaaaaahaahaahaahaaaaaaa......
Listening to: Slipknot - I Watch You
Feeling: zesty
That is so hillarious......... pwahaahaahaahaaaaaaa.......... So, very pathetic, I cant believe it, I never thought they could be so garrilous...... It's rather.... comforting in a humorous kind of way...... Hah! Dont make me laugh...... Haa haa...... im sorry to late for that my little pathetic fools of puppetry. Puppet strings, puppet strings, dance for me my little slaves. It amuses me to see who all bows down to me at my every whime. My control is absurd in the eyes of the beholder. All to easy........ it almost..... feels like a set up.... but I know it's not, my persuasion is just that strong. Oh well, it had to come to this someday. My personal magnitism is just to perfect for my own good you see. Those who cannot see are blinded by their own ignorance, and it's not my fault I can exploit that to my fullest extent. It's.... quite.... positively perfect.

Madness, it's quite exquisite you see, nothing can replace it's magnitude. All to easy.......... All, to easy...
118 hit(s) (2 comments) | Say what you will  
#365 All in good time
Feeling: melancholy
Current Music: The Shock of the Lightning-Oasis



Everyone should listen to this song, glorious, amazing, breathtaking? all of those


Schoolwork has been piling, UGH!, but we're all working for the weekend, which will hopefully be spent in Kingston, drunk with some good friends having some good times


I got my feet on the street but i cant stop flyin', my heads in the cloud but atleast im tryin'

come in come out tonight

oh for all of you wondering, im no longer 17 haha thats almost 2 and a half years ago, im now

19!

love is a time machine, up on the silverscreen...


all in good time!


shit i really dont have much to say

i no longer have any real problems with anything or anyone in life? but thats a good thing, everything worked out great.


so christina

enjoi because i am off to reclaim my lost time, time to live without care!

im going in this time machine to that silver screen dream

farva
19 hit(s) (1 comments) | Revillusion  
I'm back
Listening to: Duran Duran-Hungry Like the Wolf
Feeling: alright
Alright,
I was in a pretty crappy mood the last time I posted. Anyway, life's awesome at the moment. I'm going to the University of Mary Washington next year, which was one of my first choices for colleges. I'm graduating in two weeks, which is the biggest relief in the world.

In terms of other colleges, I didn't get into McGill, which really surprised me. The whole admissions process with that school was incredibly objective: all they wanted were stats, no extra-curriculars or essays. And they didn't ask for alumni relation, so I couldn't list my dad. I wa accepted to Queen's, U of Toronto, Western, Christopher Newport, George Mason, and I was wait-listed at Virginia Tech (I think it's because I'm not a big math-person, since Tech and Mary Wash are about the same in admissions selectivity).

I think living away from home will help ease the tension between my parents and I. We yell at each other every day about everything imaginable. My sister is even worse; she actually said to me that she isn't going to miss me when I go off to college. I know she isn't serious, but when she says stuff like that, it hurts.

I've recently begun an obsession with facebook. Although I don't have my college email yet, I have a high school account. Comment if you want me to add you.

I'll be writing more often in this thing, or at least I'll try to..
74 hit(s) (0 comments) | et toi?  
#33
Listening to: Gorillaz- Feel good Inc
Feeling: goofy


Dont ever change how you are
Youre perfect just like you
Youre the kind and gentle soul
Who sees me for me
Youre always there to listen
While I constantly complain
Ramble in my insanity
And face my insecurities
Realize that just me is OK
My problems and my past
They make me just me
And youre ok with that
You dont judge
You dont assume
Youre just there
There when I need to talk
There to make me laugh
There to make me feel good

I just want you to know
Ill always do the same
Ill listen when you need me
I wont judge
I wont assume
Ill just be there
You dont ever need to apologize
“I want to be better”
It means nothing to me
You’re perfect because you care
And because youre you
And you dont care
Thats what I like about you
Youre just you
And Im just me
When Im talking to you
Thats all I need to see
305 hit(s) (11 comments) | JuZt LeT mE fAlL  
*22nd set of icons-requests*
hey guyz! i'm really sry for not updating in a LOOONG time...my computer has been slow, but it's finally fixed...so now i'll get back on them :-)
here's some requests: jessica simpson and drugs
i also added in some random ones...so enjoy!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com

and my FAVORITE!!! Image hosted by Photobucket.com

oh and here are some holiday ones :-) Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com
this is HILARIOUS Image hosted by Photobucket.com

also i HAD to get some napoleon dynamite icons...durr! lol Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com
724 hit(s) (4 comments) | comment/request  
Hey
Feeling: active
Hi this is Nonnaihr I havent written in a while so hi. even though no one reads this I felt like updateing
111 hit(s) (2 comments) | half blood prince  
Holy hell hole in a damned basket, baby!
Feeling: sleepless
Wow... so, when i said i was back, i obviously wasnt very serious now, was I? geez, november 15th was my last entry... now it's april 10th... last day i remember was on november 16th i was sitting in my chair looking at a picture of your mom ad next thing i knew it's april 10th... i need to calm down a bit...
192 hit(s) (1 comments) | Enter Your Words  
I Am the Devil!
Feeling: angry
There is no room here for insanity here.
Go, regurgitate what the world has given you elsewhere.
Go put your words in the mouths of strangers elsewhere.
Family? You? Me? What?
Get Out.
I don't want you here right now, you shame me.
Go on.
Call me demon.
Call me Herman?
You're insane.
I AM THE DEVIL!
You have serious issues!
Take Herman with you, ma'.
379 hit(s) (7 comments) | leave comment  
Past
I wrote this awhile ago for a girl I really cared for. I don't care for her much anymore.

A young man once lived who would carry on like many young men often do. He would meet people and laugh, read books and reflect, go places and see, and think wonderfully elaborate thoughts to pass the days that spoke a language he had never learned. He dreamt of the picturesque happiness seen in children’s stories. He had intelligence but not wisdom. Never much would people see him become seriously upset or act ungracefully rude. Many times, while this young man was out of earshot, others would describe his temperament as agreeable and friendly, though possessing a serenity that appeared to come from such a grave, profound piece of knowledge that everyday living had become a kind of hilarity to him. However, it is necessary to realize that this hilarity, this comic nature that had been correctly identified in him, was not of the type that makes one laugh.

This young man, whose name is wholly irrelevant to this brief account, had all that could be wished for to live a comfortable existence. The family of which he belonged to loved him with their warming hearts completely. They would never cease to support him in whichever endeavor he had chosen to follow at the moment. He had no awful disease and he could eat when hungry. The bed he would lay on during sleep was soft. The future, by any standard, looked promising.

And yet, with everything as it was, a part of him still had no harmonious counterpart. This piece analogous to himself, as he knew, would be difficult to find and even harder to keep, for it was something he could never own. As it were, he never gave much thought to the difficulty of the search. It may as well have been impertinent, that trying task. Even if by an unmistakable proclamation he were to become convinced of its impossibility, he would still continue, for there was not much else. There was only ardor and dark and the end.

Imagine how he felt when, brooding that the hunt was without point, his desire just fell right into him, there onto his lap! It was as if something, too, had been searching out him! But he deemed the thought nonsense without any hesitance, for all he had ever been able to attract were hollow beings of an immeasurable dullness that had the gall to even hold names. It was almost unfeasible to him when he realized that, without a doubt, this was reality!--not just some useless dream that his mind had the tendency to create. Even more surprising (and how thankful he became!) was that it was not merely an “it,” but a “she!”

At first he was unable to describe exactly just what drew him to her. He didn’t have any concrete facts, no tested hypotheses, or any reliable data to back his claim, but he did have a feeling. He had a feeling that grew ever stronger whenever he heard her speak. It was so strong and bright, alluring and hypnotic, that to ignore such a feeling would be genuine idiocy. And yet what caused this feeling? What made it emerge as a sudden shock in this young man’s mind? It’s largely impossible for one not to wonder: But where did all this arise from? Although his attempt would be nothing short of futile, the young man decided to create a mental list (merely to satisfy his own curiosity) of all the qualities she possessed that made life a little better, that made him a little happier, and that made him realize Earth isn’t just a horrible, shitty rock floating in dark space.

So he began:
“I object to the prospect of calling her beautiful. No, to think of something as beautiful is to imply that beauty is a characteristic of that something. That kind of logic, while appropriate for a lifeless sunset or a moving composition of music, is positively inappropriate to describe a woman like this. What should be said, if I ever produce the courage to utter such a statement, would be something along the lines of: ‘You are not defined by beauty. No, it is beauty that is defined by you. Beauty is not a characteristic of you. Rather, it is you who is a characteristic of beauty.’ Then I would go on to tell her how she makes me feel so near and so close, even though she’s all too many miles away. I would tell her how much I appreciate her letting me simply be me. All the courage and hope and joy she brings me--well, I would tell her about that, too. I’d make sure to let her know that every time she laughs it’s like a short splash of heaven. Someday, I’ll say to her, ‘When I’m thinking about you I just feel so lucky, and I don’t even believe in luck.’

Oh, Christ!--the things I would tell her. ‘Nothing much seems all that frightening since I’ve met you. There’s six billion and some odd people on this planet, and I must say, I think you have to be the best of them. You are a dream and I want to have you at night.’ She is intelligent (very much so, in fact) but never condescending. She has class but is not a snob. She dreams but doesn’t mind reality (at least not too much, anyway). What is most wonderful about her, however, is that she is one of the few people that is deserving of being called a human being. Most everyone is just a person, but she’s human.”

The young man of our brief story laid his back against a soft chair and thought about the enigma of attraction. He had long ago reached the conclusion that every attraction is merely a chemical change in the brain. After meeting this woman, however, he realized that this view seemed to grossly undermine the deafening, idyllic feelings he had for her, and he began to speculate that she may be touching him on an altogether deeper part of his self, an abyss which the young man had found very few people possessed the courage to climb down. Yet here she was, pick in hand, descending deeper and deeper into not only a hole, but the whole! He wanted with all of his being to believe that one should want to proceed as her example, that one should even wish for it, but, being a person that had been largely preoccupied with his own existence for years and years, it was truly touching on an impossibility to ask for a faith as such. It was almost, he imagined, as if she were making a selfless sacrifice of her own volition, for how could one actually desire to retreat into such an unfamiliar, dangerous place? It was easy for him to fall into her, he deemed, because she was absolute and pure loveliness, but he--no, he was nothing of the sort.

And what does, the reader may ask, ultimately become of our young man and the feminine entity that fell so unexpectedly into his life? This humble narrator is of the opinion that query should first begin with an entirely different set of questions, namely: How many times has this story been told once before, with higher grace and superior eloquence? And how many endings are truly possible, but one of varying degrees of good and one of varying degrees of bad? And what exactly is the feasibility of a love eternal, unblemished and retained in totality? The truth of the matter is, as with all matters in any way connected to the word “love,” this narrator does not have the slightest notion, not even the tiniest fragment of a notion as to how our story will end. In fact, this narrator’s time would be far better spent contemplating matters that are unrelated to ridiculous questions of the infinitely unknowable.

91 hit(s) (3 comments) | click me  
01. Its Time for A Change
Listening to: I kissed a girl; Katy Perry
Feeling: betrayed
wow!

I completely forgot about sitdiary for about 5 years.! Everything is so different now. I think that Im going to start to write on here again, mostly because I need somewhere to put my feelings. I used to have like 4 diaries at my house but i lose them or stop writing in them.

Winding down to summer the countdown is almost complete. The funny thing about me now is that I realize all the things I have learned from myself. Its a good thing to keep notice of the changes in yourself, so you at least know who you are! Even though we never really figure out who we are, we still get the "gist", of it. but what I dont understand is other people.

They say that you never know who someone is. I guess that does count especially in the cases like your next door neighbor went on a killing spree. But what about your family members and your friends. Do we even really know them at all? Could they be feeding us lies our entire lives and we believe them because they are the people that we are closest too? I think that very well could be possible. I have been lied to by people I thought I could trust. I am sure everyone else has. But don't you ever stop and wonder whats the truth and whats a lie? and why am I so obsessive about figuring out if the person we love is hurting us. Its not good to be paranoid but you can't be nieve either.

We all make mistakes thats a given, but what ever happened to a little trust and honesty. I have never had complete trust in a person, maybe when I would a little tot, but everyone certainly has found wasys to munipulate eachother.

How are we expected to trust anyone. Or maybe thats what it is, we cannot trust anyone. I keep going back to this statement because no matter how many times I say it over and over in my head it just sounds wrong. I have just as many trust issues as the next girl but why much I always have the wall up. To protect myself thats one good reason but sometimes I just want to through caution to the wind and believe what someone has to say is real.

I think its time for a change. I think its time for people to step up and start telling the truth and not disapoint people. Theres no way of course I can stop this, but i try to be as honest as possible. I used to lie about everything when i was younger to hide the fact that i didnt have a great life. But now i see how wrong i was. I know im still being lied to by the people that I love because i see it in my household everyday. When im finally graduated and can live on my own, im going to stive to be better not just for myself but for my future family!

123 hit(s) (1 comments) | Yes...?  
Simpsons numo 1
Looks like sombody has the case of the supposedas
93 hit(s) (0 comments) | Get on my Level  
thursday
college is fuckin amazing, that's all i have to say.
57 hit(s) (0 comments) | LOVE  
Revenge is sweet
I swear to fuking god if its the last thing i do Regina Cahill is going down... I am gonna get the nastiest plan and i am gonna ruin her..... By the time i am finished with her she will be the biggest mother fuken skank in honesdale....... ur going down bitch.... dont talk about me or my friends or it will get worse regina ok? well im pretty steamed up and im not gonna drop this ......... its my fight and im gonna win...im not gonna be the chick that loses this time and im not backing down im bringing all that i got... and im not going down without a fight fuck that

SHANNON
86 hit(s) (2 comments) | cock_it_&_pull_it  
 
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